World League Of Cartoon Quidditch
by SuperBlackdeth666
Summary: A Quidditch league with cartoon characters as the players!
1. Introduction

** So here's the premise of this fic. The World League Of Cartoon Quidditch is, obviously, a sports league specializing in the Quidditch game from the Harry Potter universe. But here's the crazy part; it features cartoon characters as the players (hence the name "Cartoon" Quidditch)! I'm not sure exactly how this came to mind, but I had previously written a "NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series" that had cartoon characters driving in NASCAR. And don't ask me how, but one day, I was watching "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," and the thought of cartoon characters on the broomsticks just popped into the head, and, well, it led to this!**

** So here are the teams participating in the WLCQ. It's mainly based in the Unites States, but there are some international teams as well;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** Miami Goblins**

** New England Griffins**

** Richmond Werewolves**

** Washington Ministry**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies**

** Indiana Slughorns**

** New York Dragons**

** Philadelphia Thestrals**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs**

** Houston Horcurxes**

** Louisville Phantoms**

** Nashville Basilisks**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors**

** Los Angeles Undead**

** San Antonio Centaurs**

** Seattle Vampires**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs**

** Minnesota Wormtails**

** Oklahoma Orcs**

** St. Louis Serpents**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs**

** Detroit Unicorns**

** Kansas City Inferi**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters**

** South Division**

** Atlanta Owls**

** Charlotte Hallows**

** New Orleans Dark Mark**

** Tampa Bay Trolls**

** West Division**

** Arizona Phoenixes**

** Las Vegas Night Elves**

** Portland Parselmouths**

** San Francisco Seers**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras**

** Milan Witchhunters**

** Paris Veela**

** Rome Fairies**

** Toulouse Sphinxes**

** Pacific Division**

** Kyoto Kappa**

** Mexico City Chupacabras**

** Montreal Manticores**

** Osaka Oni**

** Tokyo Tengu**

** Toronto Salamanders**

** Vancouver Grindylows**

** And now here are the rosters for each team;**

** ([C] denotes team captain)**

**Arizona Phoenixes**

** Chaser: Fry [C] (#99)**

** Chaser: Leela (#30)**

** Chaser: Bender (#22)**

** Beater: Zoidberg (#10)**

** Beater: Hermes Conrad (#37)**

** Keeper: Zapp Brannigan (#25)**

** Seeker: Amy Wong (#31)**

** Coach: Hubert J. Farnsworth**

**Atlanta Owls**

** Chaser: Early Cuyler [C] (#21)**

** Chaser: Rusty Cuyler (#03)**

** Chaser: Lil Cuyler (#12)**

** Beater: Dan Halen (#86)**

** Beater: The Sheriff (#91)**

** Keeper: Reverend (#7)**

** Seeker: Tammi (#30)**

** Coach: Granny Cuyler**

**Birmingham War Pigs**

** Chaser: Skwisgaar Skwigelf (#69)**

** Chaser: Toki Wartooth (#96)**

** Chaser: Dr. Rockzo (#42)**

** Beater: Nathan Explosion [C] (#66)**

** Beater: William Murderface (#47)**

** Keeper: Dick Knubbler (#78)**

** Seeker: Pickles (#5)**

** Coach: Charles Foster Offdensen**

**Charlotte Hallows**

** Chaser: Phineas Flynn [C] (#43)**

** Chaser: Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

** Chaser: Isabella Garcia-Shapiro (#34)**

** Beater: Buford Van Stomm (#14)**

** Beater: Baljeet Patel (#41)**

** Keeper: Candace Flynn (#11)**

** Seeker: Perry The Platypus (#16)**

** Coach: Major Monogram**

**Chicago Fire Crabs**

** Chaser: Gary Snail (#0)**

** Chaser: Sandy Cheeks (#28)**

** Chaser: Pearl Krabs (#76)**

** Beater: Squidward Tentacles (#60)**

** Beater: Eugene H. Krabs (#79)**

** Keeper: Patrick Star (#87)**

** Seeker: Spongebob SquarePants [C] (#78)**

** Coach: Plankton**

**Columbus Pixies**

** Chaser: Cosmo (#01)**

** Chaser: Wanda (#6)**

** Chaser: Vicky (#10)**

** Beater: AJ (#11)**

** Beater: Chester McBadbat (#15)**

** Keeper: Trixie Tang (#40)**

** Seeker: Timmy Turner [C] (#17)**

** Coach: Jorgen Von Strangle**

**Dallas Hippogriffs**

** Chaser: Bill Dauterive (#49)**

** Chaser: Dale Gribble (#50)**

** Chaser: Jeff Boomhauer (#73)**

** Beater: Hank Hill [C] (#98)**

** Beater: Peggy Hill (#89)**

** Keeper: Luanne Platter (#40)**

** Seeker: Bobby Hill (#13)**

** Coach: Buck Strickland**

**Denver Dementors**

** Chaser: Stan Marsh (#97)**

** Chaser: Wendy Testaburger (#79)**

** Chaser: Bebe Stevens (#04)**

** Beater: Eric Cartman [C] (#14)**

** Beater: Butters Scotch (#2)**

** Keeper: Kenny McCormick (#39)**

** Seeker: Kyle Broflovski (#25)**

** Coach: Randy Marsh**

**Detroit Unicorns**

** Chaser: Pinkie Pie (#81)**

** Chaser: Rainbow Dash (#20)**

** Chaser: Fluttershy (#02)**

** Beater: Applejack (#18)**

** Beater: Rarity (#21)**

** Keeper: Twilight Sparkle [C] (#11)**

** Seeker: Spike (#01)**

** Coach: Princess Celestia**

**Houston Horcruxes**

** Chaser: Cuddles [C] (#3)**

** Chaser: Giggles (#7)**

** Chaser: Petunia (#16)**

** Beater: Lifty (#12)**

** Beater: Shifty (#19)**

** Keeper: Lumpy (#21)**

** Seeker: Splendid (#19)**

** Coach: Flippy**

**Indiana Slughorns**

** Chaser: Kitty Kaswell (#22)**

** Chaser: Ollie (#53)**

** Chaser: Francisco (#88)**

** Beater: Dudley Puppy [C] (#99)**

** Beater: Bad Dog (#09)**

** Keeper: Verminious Snaptrap (#00)**

** Seeker: Keswick (#11)**

** Coach: The Chief**

**Kansas City Inferi**

** Chaser: Gwen Tennyson (#01)**

** Chaser: Julie Yamamoto (#35)**

** Chaser: Rook Blonco (#20)**

** Beater: Kevin Levin (#44)**

** Beater: Paradox (#52)**

** Keeper: Azmuth (#81)**

** Seeker: Ben Tennyson [C] (#10)**

** Coach: Max Tennyson**

**Kyoto Kappa**

** Chaser: Joey Wheeler (#33)**

** Chaser: Seto Kaiba (#30)**

** Chaser: Tristan Taylor (#40)**

** Beater: Mokuba Kaiba (#03)**

** Beater: Mai Valentine (#65)**

** Keeper: Tea Gardner (#93)**

** Seeker: Yugi Moto [C] (#56)**

** Coach: Maximillion Pegasus**

**Las Vegas Night Elves**

** Chaser: Beavis [C] (#24)**

** Chaser: Butt-Head (#48)**

** Chaser: Daria Morgendorffer (#88)**

** Beater: Todd Ianuzzi (#39)**

** Beater: David Van Driessen (#30)**

** Keeper: Principal McVicker (#41)**

** Seeker: Stewart Stevenson (#76)**

** Coach: Bradley Buzzcut**

**London Chimeras**

** Chaser: Penny Fitzgerald (#69)**

** Chaser: Banana Joe (#25)**

** Chaser: Anais Watterson (#40)**

** Beater: Richard Watterson (#83)**

** Beater: Nicole Watterson (#38)**

** Keeper: Darwin Watterson (#78)**

** Seeker: Gumball Watterson [C] (#87)**

** Coach: Miss Simian**

**Los Angeles Undead**

** Chaser: James Possible (#97)**

** Chaser: Ann Possible (#79)**

** Chaser: Ron Stoppable (#15)**

** Beater: Jim Possible (#12)**

** Beater: Slim Possible (#21)**

** Keeper: Kim Possible [C] (#51)**

** Seeker: Wade (#33)**

** Coach: Betty Director**

**Louisville Phantoms**

** Chaser: Danny Phantom [C] (#16)**

** Chaser: Sam Manson (#61)**

** Chaser: Tucker Foley (#21)**

** Beater: Valerie Gray (#05)**

** Beater: Paulina (#74) **

** Keeper: Maddie Fenton (#79)**

** Seeker: Jazz Fenton (#63)**

** Coach: Jack Fenton**

**Mexico City Chupacabras**

** Chaser: Flama Dama (#10)**

** Chaser: Iron Pinata (#25)**

** Chaser: Gordo Gordo (#14)**

** Beater: Maria Rivera (#77)**

** Beater: Rodolfo Rivera (#72)**

** Keeper: Frida Suarez (#09)**

** Seeker: Manny Rivera [C] (#90)**

** Coach: Grandpapi**

**Miami Goblins**

** Chaser: Princess Clara (#14)**

** Chaser: Foxxy Love (#88)**

** Chaser: Xandir (#69)**

** Beater: Captain Hero [C] (#96)**

** Beater: Toot Braunstein (#20)**

** Keeper: Wooldoor Sockbat (#99)**

** Seeker: Ling Ling (#42)**

** Coach: Spanky Ham**

**Milan Witchhunters**

** Chaser: Irma Lair (#21)**

** Chaser: Taranee Cook (#23)**

** Chaser: Hay Lin (#20)**

** Beater: Cornelia Hale (#11)**

** Beater: Nerissa (#85)**

** Keeper: Lord Cedric (#15)**

** Seeker: Will Vandom [C] (#45)**

** Coach: Prince Phobos**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters**

** Chaser: Billy (#60)**

** Chaser: Mandy (#57)**

** Chaser: Irwin (#73)**

** Beater: Mindy (#65)**

** Beater: Sperg (#56)**

** Keeper: Grim [C] (#7)**

** Seeker: Pud'n (#55)**

** Coach: General Skarr**

**Minnesota Wormtails**

** Chaser: Pops Malleard (#29)**

** Chaser: High Five Ghost (#21)**

** Chaser: Thomas (#9)**

** Beater: Skips (#74)**

** Beater: Mitch Sorenstein (#64)**

** Keeper: Mordecai [C] (#23)**

** Seeker: Rigby (#32)**

** Coach: Benson**

**Montreal Manticores**

** Chaser: Caitlin Cooke (#16)**

** Chaser: Jen Masterson (#07)**

** Chaser: Wyatt Williams (#56)**

** Beater: Nikki Wong [C] (#13)**

** Beater: Jonesy Garcia (#69)**

** Keeper: Starr (#57)**

** Seeker: Jude Lizowski (#75)**

** Coach: Coach Halder**

**Nashville Basilisks**

** Chaser: Ren Hoek [C] (#77)**

** Chaser: Powdered Toast Man (#49)**

** Chaser: Muddy Mudskipper (#26)**

** Beater: Mr. Horse (#18)**

** Beater: Haggis McHaggis (#81)**

** Keeper: Sven Hoek (#78)**

** Seeker: Stimpy J. Cat (#32)**

** Coach: George Liquor**

**New England Griffins**

** Chaser: Lois Griffin (#39)**

** Chaser: Meg Griffin (#45)**

** Chaser: Brian Griffin (#8)**

** Beater: Peter Griffin [C] (#93)**

** Beater: Chris Griffin (#54)**

** Keeper: Glenn Quagmire (#69)**

** Seeker: Stewie Griffin (#08)**

** Coach: Joe Swanson**

**New Orleans Dark Mark**

** Chaser: Robin [C] (#58)**

** Chaser: Speedy (#27)**

** Chaser: Terra (#98)**

** Beater: Cyborg (#70)**

** Beater: Raven (#60)**

** Keeper: Starfire (#85)**

** Seeker: Beastboy (#89)**

** Coach: Bumblebee**

**New York Dragons**

** Chaser: Rose (#23)**

** Chaser: Trixie Carter (#46)**

** Chaser: Haley Kay Long (#13)**

** Beater: Jonathan Long (#22)**

** Beater: Susan Long (#31)**

** Keeper: Spud Spudinski (#38)**

** Seeker: Jake Long [C] (#32)**

** Coach: Luong Lao Shi**

**Oklahoma Orcs**

** Chaser: Finn [C] (#43)**

** Chaser: Princess Bubblegum (#18)**

** Chaser: Lady Rainicorn (#34)**

** Beater: Flame Princess (#22)**

** Beater: The Lich (#32)**

** Keeper: Marceline The Vampire Queen (#75)**

** Seeker: Jake (#27)**

** Coach: The Ice King**

**Osaka Oni**

** Chaser: Goku [C] (#54)**

** Chaser: Bulma (#49)**

** Chaser: Tenshinhan (#20)**

** Beater: Piccolo (#73)**

** Beater: Kuririn (#00)**

** Keeper: Vegeta (#79)**

** Seeker: Gohan (#45)**

** Coach: Kame-Sen'nin**

**Paris Veela**

** Chaser: Sam [C] (#33)**

** Chaser: Clover (#78)**

** Chaser: Alex (#32)**

** Beater: Caitlin (#68)**

** Beater: Dominique (#07)**

** Keeper: Mandy (#65)**

** Seeker: Britney (#92)**

** Coach: Jerry**

**Philadelphia Thestrals**

** Chaser: Kuki Sanban (#3)**

** Chaser: Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

** Chaser: Fanny Fullbright (#86)**

** Beater: Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

** Beater: Cree Lincoln (#11)**

** Keeper: Nigel Uno [C] (#1)**

** Seeker: Wallabee Beetles (#4)**

** Coach: Rachel McKenzie**

**Portland Parselmouths**

** Chaser: Marge Simpson (#38)**

** Chaser: Bart Simpson (#54)**

** Chaser: Lisa Simpson (#45)**

** Beater: Nelson Muntz (#27)**

** Beater: Moe Szyslak (#32)**

** Keeper: Homer Simpson [C] (#83)**

** Seeker: MIlhouse Van Houten (#43)**

** Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns**

**Richmond Werewolves**

** Chaser: Donna Tubbs (#05)**

** Chaser: Roberta Tubbs (#38)**

** Chaser: Federline Jones (#16)**

** Beater: Cleveland Brown [C] (#5) **

** Beater: Cleveland, Jr. (#13)**

** Keeper: Tim The Bear (#44)**

** Seeker: Rallo Tubbs (#83)**

** Coach: Lester Krinklesac**

**Rome Fairies**

** Chaser: Bloom [C] (#47)**

** Chaser: Stella (#50)**

** Chaser: (#52)**

** Beater: Musa (#54)**

** Beater: Tecna (#43)**

** Keeper: Aisha (#38)**

** Seeker: Roxy (#81)**

** Coach: Sky**

**San Antonio Centaurs**

** Chaser: Hank Venture [C] (#30)**

** Chaser: H.E.L. . (#64)**

** Chaser: Triana Orpheus (#35)**

** Beater: Brock Samson (#31)**

** Beater: Sargeant Hatred (#27)**

** Keeper: Byron Orpheus (#17)**

** Seeker: Dean Venture (#26)**

** Coach: Thaddeus Venture**

**San Francisco Seers**

** Chaser: Katara (#34)**

** Chaser: Sokka (#38)**

** Chaser: Suki (#38)**

** Beater: Zuko (#73)**

** Beater: Azula (#61)**

** Keeper: Toph (#59)**

** Seeker: Aang [C] (#26)**

** Coach: Iroh**

**Seattle Vampires**

** Chaser: Master Shake (#55)**

** Chaser: Ignignokt (#06)**

** Chaser: Err (#41)**

** Beater: Frylock [C] (#15)**

** Beater: Carl Brutananadilewski (#5)**

** Keeper: MC P Pants (#48)**

** Seeker: Meatwad (#56)**

** Coach: Dr. Weird**

**St. Louis Serpents**

** Chaser: The Warden [C] (#32)**

** Chaser: Paul (#50)**

** Chaser: Jean (#30)**

** Beater: Alice (#03)**

** Beater: Jacknife (#59)**

** Keeper: Jailbot (#69)**

** Seeker: Jared (#57)**

** Coach: Lord Stingray**

**Tampa Bay Trolls**

** Chaser: Edd (#29)**

** Chaser: Sarah (#47)**

** Chaser: Jonny 2X4 (#24)**

** Beater: Ed (#27)**

** Beater: Rolf (#51)**

** Keeper: Nazz (#67)**

** Seeker: Eddy [C] (#31)**

** Coach: Kevin**

**Tokyo Tengu**

** Chaser: Misty (#68)**

** Chaser: May (#39)**

** Chaser: Iris (#45)**

** Beater: Brock (#04)**

** Beater: Cilan (#49)**

** Keeper: Dawn (#42)**

** Seeker: Ash Ketchum [C] (#22)**

** Coach: Professor Oak**

**Toronto Salamanders**

** Chaser: Gwen (#59)**

** Chaser: Heather [C] (#55)**

** Chaser: Lindsay (#84)**

** Beater: Duncan (#57)**

** Beater: Alejandro (#42)**

** Keeper: Owen (#75)**

** Seeker: Tyler (#70)**

** Coach: Chris McLean**

**Toulouse Sphinxes**

** Chaser: Aelita Stones (#20)**

** Chaser: Jeremie Belpois (#12)**

** Chaser: Odd Della Robbia (#37)**

** Beater: Yumi Ishiyama (#34)**

** Beater: Ulrich Stern (#40)**

** Keeper: Franz Hopper [C] (#13)**

** Seeker: William Dunbar (#27)**

** Coach: Jim Morales**

**Vancouver Grindylows**

** Chaser: Emma (#32)**

** Chaser: Lauren Ridgemount (#30)**

** Chaser: Tyler Ridgemount (#38)**

** Beater: Reef [C] (#34)**

** Beater: Fin McCloud (#19)**

** Keeper: Johnny (#86)**

** Seeker: Broseph (#83)**

** Coach: Andrew Baumer**

**Washington Ministry**

** Chaser: Francine Smith (#10)**

** Chaser: Steve Smith (#38)**

** Chaser: Snot Lonstein (#31)**

** Beater: Hayley Smith (#26)**

** Beater: Jeff Fischer (#16)**

** Keeper: Stan Smith [C] (#36)**

** Seeker: Roger Smith (#37)**

** Coach: Avery Bullock**

** Wild, isn't it? Anyway, here's how the season will work;**

** We'll start with four weeks of preseason exhibition games. Rather than have all the teams playing at once every week, we'll start off simple by having just one exhibition game each of the four preseason weeks.**

** Then comes the regular season! It will be 22 weeks long, with 22 games for each team; no bye weeks for anyone. Each team will play each other team in its division twice each; once as the home team, and once as the visiting team. As for the rest of the teams' schedules, anything can happen! Every week, all 22 games will be held simultaneously on Sunday, with one game being broadcast as the "Game of the Week;" this will come with an occasional "Game Break" that will show highlights from other games, as well as an "Around the WLQC" segment to show the current scores of the other games. Each team shall be in a Game Of The Week twice each; once as the home team, and once as the visiting team.**

** After the regular season come the playoffs. Here's how they'll work; the top two teams from each division will make it in; they'll play each other in a series of single-round elimination rounds leading up to the conference championship games. After those games, the conference champion with the best regular season record will get an automatic seed into the world championship game, the Potter Bowl. The other two will play each other for the other spot in the game. And then, the world champion will be decided!**

** After the Potter Bowl, the season will end with the Cartoon Quidditch all-star game. It will feature teams consisting of all-star players from the two conferences who's teams played in the Potter Bowl. Simply that.**

** Alright, looks like we're ready to get started! Here will be the preseason schedule;**

** Week 1: Louisville Phantoms vs. Philadelphia Thestrals**

** Week 2: Detroit Unicorns vs. Tampa Bay Trolls**

** Week 3: London Chimeras vs. Tokyo Tengu**

** Week 4: New England Griffins vs. Portland Parselmouths**

** Tune back in for our first preseason game; the Louisville Phantoms vs. the Philadelphia Thestrals!**


	2. Preseason Game 1

** The World League of Cartoon Quidditch is ready to get started! We'll open with our first preseason game between the Louisville Phantoms and the Philadelphia Thestrals!**

** Team rosters;**

**Louisville Phantoms**

** Chaser: Danny Phantom [C] (#16)**

** Chaser: Sam Manson (#61)**

** Chaser: Tucker Foley (#21)**

** Beater: Valerie Gray (#05)**

** Beater: Paulina (#74) **

** Keeper: Maddie Fenton (#79)**

** Seeker: Jazz Fenton (#63)**

** Coach: Jack Fenton**

**Philadelphia Thestrals**

** Chaser: Kuki Sanban (#3)**

** Chaser: Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

** Chaser: Fanny Fullbright (#86)**

** Beater: Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

** Beater: Cree Lincoln (#11)**

** Keeper: Nigel Uno [C] (#1)**

** Seeker: Wallabee Beetles (#4)**

** Coach: Rachel McKenzie**

** All of the games will be broadcast on FOX. Let's tune in to them now;**

(FOX NFL theme plays)

Al Michaels: As if the sport of Quidditch in itself wasn't crazy enough, apparently now cartoon characters are getting in the sport! FOX Quidditch Sunday welcomes you to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for the first preseason Cartoon Quidditch game of the season, as the Louisville Phantoms are preparing to face off with the Philadelphia Thestrals! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels alongside John Madden, and joining us here will be none other than Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, and Hermione Granger! We'll start with you, Harry, since you played Quidditch at Hogwarts; just what do you make of this?

Harry: Well first of all, it's great to be here with you all for this series. And let me just say that yes, I did indeed play Quidditch at Hogwarts, and I've seen a crapload of crazy conundrums. Never would I ever thought that characters such as these would get involved in our sport. And when the magic from our universe is combined with their cartoon physics... all hell is sure to break loose!

Hermione: What worries me is that some of these characters have magic powers. And some of them are particularly snobby, particularly those Detroit Unicorns! I can't help but wonder if anyone will attack anyone with our spells.

Ron: Relax, Hermione. It's not like anyone will say Avada Kedavra!

Michaels: What's that?

Madden: Avada Kedavra is the Killing Curse, and one of the three Unforgivable Curses. It inflicts an instant painless death on whoever it hits, but to cast any Unforgivable Curse, you have to "mean it."

Michael: Yes, well, the two teams are set up at the center of the pitch, and we're ready to go.

**The Louisville Phantoms and the Philadelphia Thestrals are in the air on their brooms, at the center of the Quidditch pitch; the keepers are at their goals.**

Danny: Oh yeah, the Phantoms are gonna kick your sorry asses into next year!

Wallabee: Don't make me laugh, ghost fag! Those puny powers will be no match for the Philadelphia Thestrals!

Sam: Hey, my boy's tougher than he looks!

Hoagie: (scoff)

**When everyone is situated, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are released. After they've flown off, the Quaffle is tossed into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the game begins!

**When the Quaffle is tossed into the air, all the Chasers start to scramble in order to get it. Abigail Lincoln ends up with the Quaffle for the Philadelphia Thestrals. She makes her way through the opposing Chasers, works her way towards the goal...**

Michaels: Lincoln shoots; Maddie Fenton saves it!

Abigail: Dammit!

Maddie: (chuckles)

Ron: Great shot, but no bloody cigar.

**Maddie Fenton saves the Quaffle from going through the hoop. Abigail Lincoln reluctantly regroups with Kuki Sanban and Fanny Fullbright as Maddie throws the Quaffle back into play.**

Michaels: Now Tucker Foley has the Quaffle!

Ron: That guy's a pathetic geek, he won't make it.

Hermione: I don't know... he's headed for the goal right now!

**Tucker Foley catches the Quaffle and breaks through the opposing Chasers. He makes it way to the goal...**

Michaels: Tucker heads towards the goal, he shoots... HE SCORES!

Nigel: (facepalm)

Tucker: YES! Hell yeah!

Danny: Great job, buddy!

Both: (high-five)

Harry: And the Louisville Phantoms are up 10-0.

Madden: Now you're gonna see here, Tucker Foley heading towards the right hoop, so Nigel Uno is defending the right hoop, leaving the others unguarded. Now right here, Tucker capitalizes on this when he throws the Quaffle all the way over to the left hoop, and it goes through before Nigel can get to it. Now Louisville is up to an early lead.

**After the goal, Nigel Uno throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** Kuki Sanban gets the Quaffle, narrowly avoiding a Bludger; Cree Lincoln hits the Bludger over to Louisville's side of the pitch.**

**While that happens, Sam Manson snatches the Quaffle from Kuki Sanban. She then makes her way to the Philadelphia goal...**

Michaels: Sam Manson shoots - she SCORES!

Sam: Ohh, yeah!

Danny: Come here, you!

Both: (kiss)

Rachel: Timeout, dammit!

Hermione: Louisville is up 20-0, and Philadelphia calls timeout.

Madden: Philadelphia better change their tactics, or it'll be a long day!

**After Louisville jumps ahead 20-0 nothing, Philadelphia Thestrals coach Rachel McKenzie calls timeout. All of the players gather around her;**

Rachel: Guys, obviously our defense isn't working. I don't know what's going on, but Kuki, Abigail, Fanny, you girls gotta get more aggressive! And Nigel, you've gotta protect our hoops!

Nigel: I know, I've been trying! They keep faking me out!

Rachel: Yes, well, watch out for that, and defend all the goals, not just one! And Wally - find that Snitch, catch it, then we can end this!

Wally: Alright, alright!

Rachel: Very well, then. BREAK!

**The Philadelphia Thestrals break the huddle, both teams get back into position, and then the Quaffle is thrown back into the air.**

** This time, Fanny Fullbright gets the Quaffle. A Bludger almost hits her square in the face, but Hoagie P. Gilligan takes care of that. Meanwhile...**

Harry: Now the Thestrals are really in trouble; Jazz Fenton has located the Golden Snitch and she's right on its tail!

**Jazz Fenton finds the Golden Snitch and gives chase after it. Wally Beetles is still trying to find it. This enables Jazz to gain ground on the Snitch unopposed. Gradually, she catches up to the snitch and ia about to catch it when;**

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle sounding!

Ron: I did see that Fanny Fullbright and Sam Manson were going at it really hard for the Quaffle.

Hermione: I betcha it's a Cobbing call on someone!

**The penalty whistle sounds just as Jazz Fenton is about to catch the Snitch. The action stops, and then the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Cobbing, #61, Louisville. Penalty shot for Philadelphia!

Sam: Oh, that is bullshit!

Danny: Calm down, Sammy. Let's just hope my mom can block this shot here.

Madden: Notice here as Fanny Fullbright is headed towards the Louisville goal, Sam Manson is trying to snatch the Quaffle away. Here she's trying to use her hands to do it, but Fanny holds on, so Sam brings her elbows into play, and tries using them to force the Quaffle out of Fanny's grip; that's illegal! The referee caught that, and it may just cost the Louisville Phantoms 10 points!

**After the penalty call, Fanny Fullbright goes on her broom over into the scoring area for her penalty shot. Maddie Fenton lies in wait, attempting to defend the hoop from the Quaffle. After reading her for a while, Fanny takes her shot;**

Michaels: She SCOOORES! And the Philadelphia Thestrals are finally on the board!

Fanny: Ohhhh YYEAAH!

Maddie: Goddammit! How did she do that?

Jazz: Relax, Mom. We're still in the lead.

Madden: You can see here, Maddie Fenton is hovering in front of the center hoop. Now watch Fanny Fullbright; she makes it looks like she's gonna shoot at the right hoop, so Maddie flies over to that hoop. But watch; Fanny fakes it and shoots at the left hoop, and it goes through unopposed; now the Thestrals are on the board.

**After the penalty shot, Maddie Fenton takes the Quaffle and throws it back into play.**

** After some scrambling, Sam Manson comes up with the Quaffle. Kuki Sanban tries to take it away, but Sam knocks her out of the way.**

Michaels: Sam Manson unopposed, she's on her way to the Philadelphia goal, he shoots... SAVED, by Nigel Uno!

Nigel: Sucker!

Sam: Ugh!

**Nigel Uno then throws the Quaffle back into play. It's headed for Abigail Lincoln...**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

**...but the Quaffle evades her and starts flying around, seemingly on its own.**

Michaels: And the Quaffle gets past Abigail and is now flying around by itself

Hermione: I don't know...

Ron: Hmmm, I don't see Danny. Think he could be using an Invisibility Cloak, Harry?

Harry: Hey, there's only one Invisibility Cloak, and that's mine! Something's going on...

**Danny Phantom goes ghost and intercepts the Quaffle as Abigail Lincoln is about to catch it. Danny and his broom are both invisible, and so the Quaffle appears to be moving on its own. Perplexed, all the other Chasers give chase, but they can't catch Danny. Eventually, he finds his way to the Philadelphia goal...**

Michaels: And now the Quaffle goes through the Philadelphia goal, so now the Louisville Phantoms are up 30-10.

Nigel: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

Hermione: I don't get it! If there was no Invisibility Cloak, then what just happened?

Madden: Well, Hermione, his name is Danny Phantom. He has the power to turn himself into a ghost, ghost anything he touches, possess other people's bodies, etc.

Hermione: Well why the hell don't they penalize Louisville for that crap?!

...

Sam: Don't tell me you were...

Danny: Yep!

Sam: Oh, you! (kisses Danny)

**After that fiasco, Nigel Uno angrilly throws the Quaffle back into play. A Bludger almost hits Tucker Foley as he comes up with the Quaffle. Paulina hits the Bludger over to Philadelphia's side of the pitch.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: Wait, look out! Jazz Fenton is after the Snitch once again!

Ron: Yeah, something must me up with that Wallabee; I dunno what he's thinking, but he hasn't been on that Snitch at all today!

**Jazz Fenton is chasing the Golden Snitch once again. She's right on its tail, but catching it is no easy feat. The ball is the size of a walnut, and therefore really difficult to catch. Then suddenly...**

Harry: Here he comes!

Michaels: Wallabee Beetles is now going after the Snitch, he and Jazz make contact, the Snitch is right in front of them, who's gonna catch it. Wally Beetles grabs the tail of Jazz's broom, and now we have a penalty whistle!

Hermione: That was blagging, no question about it!

**As Jazz Fenton and Wallabee Beetles are fighting for the Snitch, Wally grabs the tail end of Jazz's broom in order to try and slow her down; the penalty whistle blows immediately. The referee's call is as follows;**

Referee: Blagging. Philadelphia, #4. Penalty shot for Louisville.

Wally: Dammit!

Jazz: That'll teach ya!

**Wallabee Beetles is penalized for blagging, and so the Louisville Phantoms get a penalty shot. Danny Phantom decides to take the shot. When ready, he hurls the Quaffle to the center hoop;**

Michaels: SCORE! Louisville is now up 40-10.

Nigel: Ugh!

Danny: YES!

**Nigel Uno then throws the Quaffle back into play. It goes to Fanny Fullbright. She flies around the outer edge of the pitch, just staying in bounds, avoiding the other Chasers, as well as a Bludger.**

** While that goes on, Wallabee Beetles is chasing after the Golden Snitch again. Gradually, he gains ground on it. Then, Jazz Fenton catches up to him.**

Michaels: And there go Jazz and Wally, at it again for the Snitch!

Hermione: Let's just hope no one commits any penalties this time.

**Neither Seeker commits any fouls, but they are hitting each other pretty hard on their brooms. This doesn't help either of them, as their jousting is allowing the Snitch to pull away from them.**

** Cree Lincoln is hovering around center field while this is occuring. After a while, she spots Jazz and Wally** **flying by a short ways away, still chasing the Snitch. At the same time, she notices a Bludger heading towards her, and seizes her chance. Timing it just right, she takes her Bludger Bat and hits the Bludger, sending it right in the direction of Jazz Fenton...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Cree Lincoln sends a Bludger right into Jazz Fenton's head, she's knocked off her broom, Wally's now unopposed!

Hermione: She would totally play for Slytherin. Only they are that dirty!

**The Bludger that Cree hit goes right into Jazz Fenton's head with brute force. She's knocked off her broom and drops to the ground, unconscious.**

** Meanwhile, Wally Beetles is now chasing the Snitch unopposed. The Snitch is now flying down near the ground, with Wally after it. Wally then stands atop his broom as if it were a Muggle skateboard. He reaches out a hand and trys to snatch the snitch, but can't reach it. He then makes the mistake of putting one foot forward in order to reach further!**

Ron: Oh no!

Michaels: Wally Beetles has just lost his broom and has fallen hard on the ground!

Madden: Wait, where'd the Snitch go? I can't see it.

**When Wally tries to reach forward, he puts too much weight on the front end of his broom, causing it to do a front flip that sends Wally crashing to the ground. He gets up unscathed, but...**

Michaels: And Wally Beetles is doing the Heimlich maneuver on himself!

Madden: Is he gonna be sick?

Harry: Uh... I think I know where this is going...

**Wally starts doing the Heimlich maneuver on himself, looking about ready to vomit. But then, with one big thrust, a small round golden object comes up out of his mouth and into his hands;**

Madden: HE'S GOT IT! WALLY BEETLES HAS GOT THE SNITCH!

Harry: A-HA! I knew it! I knew that was gonna happen!

Michaels: And this game is over! Philadelphia Thestrals win 160-40.

**Having caught the Golden Snitch, the game is over, with the Philadelphia Thestrals victorious.**

Wally: (gasp) YES! I did it! I fuckin' did it! We've won!

Madden: Watch here; Wally Beetles, instead of just gaining some altitude actually stands up on his broom in order to try and reach the Snitch. But he still can't get it, but he puts a foot forward, the broom nose dives under his weight, Wally's mouth falls open, and BOOM! Right on the Snitch, which gets lodged in his throat. Not the most graceful way of catching it, but it clearly got them the win here!

Harry: You know, that's exactly how I caught the Snitch in my first Quidditch game! True story, maybe you should read it!

**While the Philadelphia Thestrals are celebrating, the Louisville Phantoms have all flown down to check on Jazz Fenton, who's still unconscious after that blow to the head.**

Danny: Oh my God, is she all right?

Maddie: Oh, my poor baby girl! DAMN YOU, THESTRALS!

Jack: It's alright, Maddie. This league has doctors that practice magic; she'll be healed in no time!

Maddie: You sure?

Danny: Positive, Mom!

**As Jazz is taken to the hospital wing, the Thestrals continue to celebrate the win, with Wally Beetles has the man of the hour. The crowd roars wildly for him as he very arrogantly celebrates in front of them. Then, Kuki Sanban flies up next to them on her broom;**

Kuki: (puts arm around Wally) You were magnificent out there, Wally.

Wally: Aww, thanks, Kooks!

Kuki: (giggle)

**And with that, the pair kiss, inciting another roar from the crowd.**

Michaels: Well, that does it for our first preseason Cartoon Quidditch match-up, with the Philadelphia Thestrals defeating the Louisville Phantoms 160-40. This Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley, and Hermione Granger saying so long from Philadelphia, and we hope to see you next week on Quidditch on FOX!

**Next preseason game; Detroit Unicorns vs. Tampa Bay Trolls.**


	3. Preseason Game 2

** After getting the preseason started in Philadelphia, the World League of Cartoon Quidditch will now sanction its 2nd preseason game, between the Detroit Unicorns and Tampa Bay Trolls!**

**Detroit Unicorns**

** Chaser: Pinkie Pie (#81)**

** Chaser: Rainbow Dash (#20)**

** Chaser: Fluttershy (#02)**

** Beater: Applejack (#18)**

** Beater: Rarity (#21)**

** Keeper: Twilight Sparkle [C] (#11)**

** Seeker: Spike (#01)**

** Coach: Princess Celestia**

**Tampa Bay Trolls**

** Chaser: Edd (#29)**

** Chaser: Sarah (#47)**

** Chaser: Jonny 2X4 (#24)**

** Beater: Ed (#27)**

** Beater: Rolf (#51)**

** Keeper: Nazz (#67)**

** Seeker: Eddy [C] (#31)**

** Coach: Kevin**

** Now tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme plays)

Michaels: After a thrilling start to the preseason last week, in which Philadelphia Seeker Wallabee Beetles caught the Snitch in his mouth, FOX Quidditch Sunday is airing live from Tampa, FL, where we are getting ready for our 2nd preseason game as the Detroit Unicorns prepare to take on the Tampa Bay Trolls! I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley, and Hermione Granger.

Hermione: As much as I'm looking forward to this game, I think I should say that I've heard some very bad stuff about those Detroit Unicorns. They claim to practice "love and tolerance," but let's just say that's stretching it just a little. And rumor is, their Keeper and one of their Beaters both have magical powers that could turn this game on its head in a very ugly sort of fashion.

Ron: Wait, but aren't players disallowed from using their wands?

Madden: Yes, but Twilight Sparkle and Rarity don't need wands. Their magical powers come from the horns on their heads.

Harry: Well, if you ask me, I don't think it'll matter, because those Tampa Bay Trolls have some tough S.O.B's in their ranks, paricularly Sarah and Rolf! I'd seriously speculate that their combined badassery might just save them the game!

Michaels: We're about to find out; both teams are set up and the balls are ready to be turned loose!

**And so the Detroit Unicorns and the Tampa Bay Trolls are hovering on their brooms at the center of the pitch while the keepers are at their goals.**

Rolf: You fairy horses make Rolf nauscious to his gizzard!

Rarity: Well, you're one to talk, Mr. I-Live-In-The-Nineteenth-Century!

Spike: Hey, easy, Rarity. These guys are just a bunch of pathetic cul-de-sac kids. We can take 'em.

**The Bludgers are sent up and they fly off; the Golden Snitch follows. Then, the referee tosses the Quaffle skyward.**

Michaels: Quaffle is up, we're underway!

**The Chasers all scramble with each other to try and get the Quaffle; Rainbow Dash comes up with it. She heads towards Tampa Bay's goal, but then...**

Michaels: Whoa, that Bludger almost nailed Rainbow Dash!

Harry: And now Sarah has the Quaffle!

Ron: Oh boy!

**A Bludger almost hits Rainbow Dash, disorienting her and allowing Sarah to steal the Quaffle. She circles around and finds a gap between the Chasers and goes through it, headed for the Detroit goal. Then, she takes her shot...**

Michaels: SCOORE! Tampa Bay is on the board!

Sarah: Woo-hoo!

Ed: Yay, my baby sister got a goal!

Madden: This honestly really makes me shake my head; Sarah shot the Quaffle right at Twilight, but watch - BOOM! It just slips through her hooves. Unbelievable!

**After Sarah puts the Trolls 10-0 over the Unicorns, Twilight Sparkle throws the Quaffle back into play. Pinkie Pie catches it. As she does so, Applejack catches a Bludger about to hit Pinkie Pie, and whacks it away towards Tampa Bay's side of the pitch.**

** Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie makes her way towards the goal. But just as she's about to shoot at the goal, Jonny 2X4 comes out of nowhere and snatches the Quaffle away.**

Pinkie: Hey, give that back!

Jonny: HA! Plank says he's gonna tolerate and love the shit outta you horses!

Pinkie: Why, you...

**Pinkie Pie goes after Jonny to try and get the Quaffle back. Jonny makes it through the other two Detroit Chasers and Trolls on his way to the goal. Pinkie almost gets him, but then Jonny shoots;**

Micheals: He SCOORES! 20-0, Trolls!

Pinkie: Urrgh!

Jonny: HA HA, yeah! Plank says the Detroit Unicorns don't stand a chance against us!

Madden: It's exactly what happened last time. The Quaffle just slipped right through Twilight's hooves!

**Twilight Sparkle throws the Quaffle into play again. Fluttershy comes up with the Quaffle, flying around the outside edge of the pitch. A Bludger nearly catches her, but Applejack takes care of it. Sarah steals the Quaffle as she closes in on Tampa Bay's goal, but shortly thereafter, Rainbow Dash takes it right back. She heads to the goal unopposed, she shoots;**

Michaels: SAVED, by Nazz!

Rainbow Dash: Goddammit!

Hermione: I don't see how she could've saved that; Rainbow Dash is supposed to be able to hit speeds in excess of Mach 10!

Madden: Well, Nazz was just in the right place in the right time, I guess.

**After the save, Nazz throws the Quidditch back into play, and Edd catches it. Meanwhile...**

Michaels: As that goes on, Spike has gone after the Golden Snitch!

Harry: This could be the break the Unicorns were looking for!

Ron: Yeah, if the Trolls don't score too many goals!

**Spike has spotted the Golden Snitch and has gone after it. Gradually, he gains ground on it, and manages to get within a foot, but then, the Snitch loses him.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: Edd shoots and he SCORES! 30-0, Tampa Bay!

**As the Tampa Bay Trolls celebrate their third goal, Applejack looks at the cheering crowd and notices one fan holding up a poster that says, "U MAD, UNICORNS?" This angers Applejack a great deal. She sees a Bludger coming her way, then she takes her Bludger bat and hits it...**

Michaels: Whoa, a Bludger just went into the crowd, and a penalty whistle is out!

Hermione: That was so deliberate! This is gonna be a Bumphing call on Detroit!

Madden: Yeah, she just hit that Bludger right at that fan with the poster there! That's real intolerant, if you ask me!

**Applejack hits the Bludger at the fan with the poster, causing them all to scatter. No one is hurt, but a penalty whistle is sounded. The referee then makes the call;**

Referee: Bumphing! Detroit, #18! Penalty shot for Tampa Bay!

Applejack: (scoff)

**After the penalty call, Edd gets in position to make the penalty shot. Twilight Sparkle is defending. After reading Twilight and the hoops for a moment, Edd takes his shot, but Twilight is determined to not let it in...**

Twilight: _Confundus_!

Michaels: And Edd has somehow completely missed the hoop!

Edd: How... how did that happen?

Madden: This is just unexplainable, watch; Edd looks like he gonna make a great shot, maybe get another goal in for the Trolls, but then his throw just goes way off! You can see Twilight Sparkle's horn glowing as she says something right before he shoots-

Hermione: THAT WAS A CONFUNDUS CHARM! WHY AREN'T THEY CALLING THAT?!

Ron: Apparently, these Muggle refs can't detect this sort of crap!

**Twilight Sparkle uses a Confudus Charm on Edd to make him miss the hoop. She then throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** After a brief scramble, Fluttershy comes up with the Quaffle. Rolf hits a Bludger in her direction, but it misses.**

** Sarah and Jonny try to rob Fluttershy of the Quaffle, but they fail. Fluttershy is then able to head to the Tampa Bay Trolls goal and take her shot...**

Michaels: And Fluttershy scores! 10 points for the Detroit Unicorns!

Rainbow Dash: Oh my God! Fluttershy, you've scored!

Fluttershy: Yay.

Madden: Now watch; Fluttershy is headed toward the left goal, making Nazz think that's where she's shooting. But then Fluttershy throws it over to the right goal, Nazz can't get over there in time, and now Detroit's on the board.

**Nazz then throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** As the Chasers fight for it...**

Michaels: Look out; Eddy's gone after the Snitch!

Harry: This guy's real good; he's small, fast, light, he'd have given me a run for his money!

Ron: Yeah, but you'd still beat him!

Harry: (chuckle)

**As Jonny 2X4 comes up with the Quaffle, Eddy is now chasing after the Golden Snitch. He almost catches up with it when...**

Michaels: And now Spike's in the picture!

Ron: Those blokes are fighting each other to the death to get that Snitch!

Madden: It's real hard to pick a side. Both are small, light and fast, as Harry said earlier, so this should be fun to watch.

**Spike notices Eddy going after the Snitch and joins the Chase. Before long, he's right alongside Eddy, and the two began to hit each other and fight over it.**

Eddy: That Snitch is mine, you dragon twerp!

Spike: Don't make me laugh!

**As this fight continues, Edd now has the Quaffle in tow. He's headed towards the goal, but there's a Bludger headed right for him. Rolf goes after it and is about to hit it away, but then Rarity intervenes;**

Rarity: _Expelliarmus_!

Michaels: Rolf's Bludger Bat has been blasted out of his hand, and now Edd's been knocked off his broom!

Kevin: TIMEOUT!

Madden: Watch; Edd headed toward the Detroit goal, and the Bludger's after him. Rolf is trying to save him from it, but then his Bat just flies out of his hand, and the Bludger knocks Edd off his broom. You can see Rarity there, saying something right as it happens-

Harry: That was a Disarming Charm! That was MY signature move she was using!

Hermione: Seriously, WHY AREN'T THEY CALLING THIS?!

**Rarity uses a Disarming Charm to knock Rolf's Bludger Bat out of his hand, allowing the Bludger to knock Edd off his broom. As this happens, Kevin, coach of the Tampa Bay Trolls, calls timeout. Rolf then turns to Rarity, furious;**

Rolf: You have tampered with the scrawny Ed-Boy! Why, if Rolf had a loaf of bread, he'd-

Rarity: _Stupefy_!

Michaels: And Rolf's just been blasted off his broom!

Hermione: THAT WAS A GODDAMN STUNNING SPELL! Someone needs to fuckin' eject that pony bitch!

Michaels: Hermione! We're still on the air, here!

Hermione: I don't care! It needs to be done!

**Rarity then uses a Stunning Spell to knock Rolf off his broom.**

** During the timeout, Kevin and the rest of the team come to Edd and Rolf's aid.**

Kevin: Y'okay, dork?

Edd: Yeah, I'm accounted for. And my broom is also unscathed.

Kevin: Rolf?

Rolf: Clean as a whistle!

Kevin: OK great! Now let's end this before it gets too fucked up!

**Rolf and Edd get back on their brooms and get back in the air, and the game gets back underway.**

** Rainbow Dash comes up with the Quaffle.**

** As that happens, Eddy and Spike are going after the Golden Snitch once again.**

** As that happens...**

Michaels: Rainbow Dash SCOORES! 10 points to Detroit!

Rainbow Dash: WOOOO-HOOOO!

**But then...**

Harry: Eddy's got the Snitch! Eddy's got the Snitch!

Eddy: HA-HA, YEESSS! In your face with a can of mace, pony bitches!

Michaels: And this game is over; Tampa Bay Trolls win 180-20!

Madden: Now you can see here that both Eddy and Spike are right on the Snitch. But since Eddy's bigger, he can reach much farther than Spike can, so only he can reach the Snitch. He caught it, and now the Trolls have won.

**Eddy catches the Golden Snitch, and the Tampa Bay Trolls defeat the Detroit Unicorns 180-20.**

** As the Trolls and their fans celebrate the win, Detroit Unicorns Keeper Twilight Sparkle goes to console Spike;**

Spike: I don't get it! How could he've beaten me, I'm a dragon!

Twilight: Hey, it's only the preseason; we'll beat 'em in the regular season!

**Spike thinks it through, then hugs Twilight.**

Spike: Thanks. I'm alright now.

**...**

Michaels: And this game is in the books, with the Tampa Bay Trolls beating the Detroit Unicorns 180-20. We hope you'll join us next week, when the World League of Cartoon Quidditch holds its first international game! This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley, and Hermione Granger saying good-bye from Tampa Bay, and have a great week!

** Next preseason game; London Chimeras vs. Tokyo Tengu.**


	4. Preseason Game 3

** Halfway through the preseason, the World League of Cartoon Quidditch will now sanction its first international game; the London Chimeras vs. the Tokyo Tengu!**

** Team rosters;**

**London Chimeras**

** Chaser: Penny Fitzgerald (#69)**

** Chaser: Banana Joe (#25)**

** Chaser: Anais Watterson (#40)**

** Beater: Richard Watterson (#83)**

** Beater: Nicole Watterson (#38)**

** Keeper: Darwin Watterson (#78)**

** Seeker: Gumball Watterson [C] (#87)**

** Coach: Miss Simian**

**Tokyo Tengu**

** Chaser: Misty (#68)**

** Chaser: May (#39)**

** Chaser: Iris (#45)**

** Beater: Brock (#04)**

** Beater: Cilan (#49)**

** Keeper: Dawn (#42)**

** Seeker: Ash Ketchum [C] (#22)**

** Coach: Professor Oak**

** FOX?**

Michaels: We're halfway through the Quidditch preseason as the World League of Cartoon Quidditch is sanctioning it's first international game, in Tokyo, Japan. We're glad you could be with us today, as the London Chimeras are getting ready to face the Tokyo Tengu! I'm Al Michaels, alongside John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley, and Hermione Granger.

Hermione: Quidditch is indeed a world sport, and I think it's awesome that these international teams are participating. From what I understand, they're all real good, and I'd love to see what they have in store for all the American teams!

Harry: Well either way, I'm picking the London Chimeras to win this game. Maybe it's my national pride showing, I don't know. Either way, I pick the Chimeras!

Ron: Say, Al? John? It is okay if Harry, Hermione and I root for the Chimeras, you know, since they represent our country?

Michaels: Well, I can't blame you for that. Go on ahead!

Madden: But look out; I hear that the Tokyo Tengu have some special weapons in their arsenal; special "friends," so to speak. They could do a real number on the Chimeras!

**Meanwhile, the London Chimeras and Tokyo Tengu are all hovering in position on their brooms.**

** And this is what John Madden was hinting at; all of the players for the Tokyo Tengu do have special "friends;" they have so-called "Pocket Monsters," or "Pokemon," riding on their brooms with them. Misty, May and Iris have Psyduck, Beautifly and Axew on their brooms. Brock and Cilan have Geodude and Pansage on theirs. Dawn has Piplup, and finally, Ash Ketchum has Pikachu (of course!).**

Ash: Ya ready, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika pika!

**On the other team;**

Gumball: I don't like this, Mom! Those creatures could hurt us!

Nicole: Oh relax, Gumball. How much harm could they do?

**The Bludgers are released, followed by the Golden Snitch. After a few seconds, the Quaffle is then tossed up.**

Michaels: Quaffle is up, and we're underway!

**The Chasers all scramble for the Quaffle, fighting over it for several seconds. Then, Penny Fitzgerald claims possession for the London Chimeras. She heads for the Tokyo goal, but then Misty steals it from her.**

Penny: You stupid-ass tomboy!

Misty: (laughing)

**Penny goes after Misty as she heads to the London goal. She's just about to retake the Quaffle when...**

Misty: Psyduck, use Water Gun!

...

Michaels: That creature just blasted water right in Penny Fitzgerald's face!

Hermione: How is that the Tengu can even get away with carrying these creatures with them?

Ron: For once, I actually agree with Hermione on this one.

**Misty's Pokemon Psyduck squirts a jet of water of its mouth, right into Penny Fitzgerald's face. It doesn't knock her off her broom, but it does disorient her, allowing Misty to charge unopposed towards the London goal;**

Michaels: Misty shoots, and she SCOORES! Ten points to the Tokyo Tengu!

Misty: YES! You did great back there, Psyduck!

Hermione: Seriously, that woudn't have happened were it not for that thing she has with her!

Madden: Biased, are we?

Harry: Hey, we told you we'd be rooting for our home team!

**After Misty scores a goal for the Tokyo Tengu, London Chimeras keeper Darwin Watterson throws the Quaffle back into play. His sister Anais Watterson catches it. On her way to the Tokyo goal, a Bludger almost hits her, but her father Richard Watterson knocks it off course.**

** Then, Iris snatches the Quaffle from Anais. However, she only makes it a short distance before Penny Fitzgerald takes it back for London. Penny passes it back to Anais, who's then able to make it to the Tokyo goal, at which she then takes her shot;**

Michaels: She SCOORES!

Harry: YES! Go Chimeras!

Anais: All right!

Madden: I really don't know what the hell Dawn was thinkin' here. She trying to allow that little creature on the back of her broom do catch the Quaffle, but it just can't! And now the score is tied at 10.

Ron: Yeah, that'll teach 'em to mess with the Chimeras!

**Dawn, Keeper for the Tokyo Tengu, throws the Quaffle back into play. It's about to be caught by May, but she's disoriented when a Bludger just barely misses her. Banana Joe then takes the Quaffle for the London Chimeras.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: And it appears that Gumball Watterson is now chasing after the Golden Snitch for the London Chimeras!

Ron: Alright! If he catches it, we can end this game right now!

Madden: Don't count on it, Ron. You know damn well how hard that Snitch is to catch!

Ron: I know that!

**Before long, Gumball Watterson is chasing after the Golden Snitch, catching up to it relatively quickly. While he's not able to reach it with his hand, he is able to stay with it as it flies along.**

** Meanwhile, Penny Fitzgerald has the Quaffle for London. Avoiding a Bludger, she's able to make her way to the Tokyo goal;**

Michaels: Penny shoots, and she SCORES! London takes the lead, 20-10!

Penny: WHOO-HEE!

Dawn: Dammit!

Madden: Dawn really needs to stop relying on that vermin on her broom; it just can't reach the Quaffle! Why would she even think of trusting it?

Ron: (chuckles) I hope she keeps it up; it may just cost Tokyo the game!

**Dawn throws the Quaffle back into play after the goal.**

** It's caught by May. But then, it's noticed that there's a Bludger headed right for her. No Beaters are able to get to it in time, but then Cilan has an idea;**

Cilan: Pansage, use Vine Whip!

...

Michaels: What was that?!

Hermione: I don't know. Cilan's little creature just whipped that Bludger off course somehow.

Ron: Tokyo really does have an unfair advantage here.

**Cilan's Pokemon Pansage unleashes two long grass vines, which it uses as whips to knock the Bludger off course before it hits May.**

** As Penny Fitzgerald proceeds to take the Quaffle from May, Gumball Watterson is still right on the Golden Snitch's tail. But then...**

Michaels: Look out! Ash Ketchum's now chasing the Snitch!

Ron: Oh, crap...

**Ash Ketchum suddeny joins in the chase for the Golden Snitch. Before long, he pulls alongside Gumball Watterson, and the two start to hit each repeatedly with their brooms.**

** After this contact has been going on for a while;**

Ash: Pikachu, use Scratch!

...

Michaels: And that yellow thing on Ash's broom has slashed at Gumball Watterson and taken away all his momentum!

Hermione: Okay, I don't see how the hell that can be legal!

Gumball: DAMMIT! What the FUCK!

Ash: (snickering)

**Ash's Pokemon Pikachu slashes Gumball Watterson across the side of his body. Gumball is able to stay on his broom, but loses all his momentum; the side of his body is also hurt badly.**

** After that, Ash Ketchum catches up to the Golden Snitch. As he's doing so, Pikachu is able to crawl on the underside of the broom, making his way to the front; the Snitch then ends up right in front of him.**

Ash: Alright, Pikachu! Catch that Snitch!

**With the Golden Snitch practically right in front of his face, Pikachu puts a front paw up and retrieves it...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle blowing!

Ash: What the hell is going on?

Madden: Yeah, Ash himself didn't catch the Snitch. It was that yellow thing on his broom that caught it.

Hermione: Looks like this'll be a Snitchnip call on Tokyo.

**Right as Pikachu catches the Golden Snitch, the penalty whistle is blown. All the action stops, and the referee then makes the call;**

Referee: Snitchnip. Tokyo; that creature riding on #22's broom. Penalty shot for London.

Ash: That is BULLSHIT!

Ron: (laughing)

Harry: That is just mental right there!

Madden: But the thing is, only the Seeker can touch the Snitch. That yellow creature may be riding on the Seeker's broom, but it's not the Seeker! Ash is the Seeker, therefore only he can catch it. But since his pet caught it, it's a Snitchnip call on Tokyo, and a penalty shot for London.

**After the penalty, London Chimeras Chaser Banana Joe sets up for his penalty shot. He reads Dawn and the goals for a while, then takes his shot...**

Dawn: Piplup, use Hydro Pump!

...

Ron: What the bloody hell was that?

Madden: That thing on Dawn's broom just shot a bunch of water at the Quaffle and blocked the shot!

Hermione: I'm telling you, what Tokyo's doing right now should be illegal!

Michaels: Maybe, but you guys really are being biased right now.

Harry: I don't care! We want our home team to win!

**Dawn's Pokemon Piplup blasts a torrent of water at the Quaffle, keeping it from going through the goal.**

** May retrieves the Quaffle. She's forced to dodge a Bludger that Nicole Watterson hit in her direction, and then hands the Quaffle off to Misty.**

** Around this time, Ash Ketchum and Gumball Watterson are once again chasing after the Golden Snitch. Once again the two are fighting each other fiercely, trying to knock one another out of the chase.**

** Meanwhile, Anais Watterson now has the Quaffle. She, Penny Fitzgerald, and Banana Joe are all flying in a V formation, with which they aggressively power through Tokyo's players, Chasers and Beaters alike. But then...**

Iris: Axew**, **use Dragon Rage!

...

Michaels: And Iris has just knocked all three London Chasers off their brooms at once!

Madden: It was that little green creature on her broom that did it. Watch; he powers the beam up from his mouth, and BOOM! There they all go!

Hermione: They should eject her for that!

Harry: Yeah, I don't think even I've seen that sort of rubbish!

**Iris's Pokemon Axew shoots a super-powerful blue beam at Anais Watterson, Penny Fitzgerald and Banana Joe; the power of the beam, combined with how close together they're flying, allows Axew to knock Anais, Penny and Joe off their brooms all at the same time. After this occurs, Iris then retrieves the Quaffle for Tokyo.**

** Meanwhile, the chase for the Golden Snitch is still going on. However, Ash Ketchum has fallen a ways behind, and Gumball Watterson is just a fingertip away from catching the Snitch. Ash then hatches an idea, a last-ditch effort to keep using Gumball from getting the Snitch;**

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

**Pikachu's cheeks then charge with electricty, intended to attack Gumball. But as this occurs;**

Gumball: I've got it! I've got the Golden Snitch!

**Then...**

**...**

Michaels: And just as he catches the Golden Snitch, Gumall Watterson is blasted off his broom by Ash's yellow creature!

Hermione: That's just a total friggin' cheap shot! Right after he catches the Snitch!

Harry: Hey, look on the bright side! Our team won!

Ron: The London Chimeras are bloody victorious!

**Gumball Watterson catches the Golden Snitch, and the London Chimeras win the game, 170-10. Just as he catches it, Ash's Pokemon Pikachu launches a bolt of lightning at Gumball, knocking him off his broom. He falls down hard to the ground, snitch in hand.**

** After the incident, the Tokyo Tengu head back to their locker room in shame, while their disgruntled fans begin to depart the premises. Meanwhile, the London Chimeras are not celebrating the win; they've all flown down to check on their Seeker, who's just been attacked.**

Nicole: Oh my God! Gumball! Are you okay! Talk to me!

**Gumball staggers to his feet.**

Gumball: Yeah, I'm okay. And we did win, right?

Darwin: Yeah! You caught the Snitch, and we won the game!

Gumball: Awesome!

Penny: You know, you were pretty magnificent out there. (kisses Gumball on cheek)

Gumball: (blushes and giggles)

Michaels: And that's the game! The London Chimeras beat the Tokyo Tengu 170-10. With just one preseason game left to go before the regular season, this is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying farewell from the Land of the Rising Sun, and we hope to see you for that last preseason game; good night!

**Final preseason game; New England Griffins vs. Portland Parselmouths.**


	5. Preseason Game 4

** We're now back in the United States for the last WLCQ preseason game, featuring the New England Griffins and Portland Parselmouths!**

**New England Griffins**

** Chaser: Lois Griffin (#39)**

** Chaser: Meg Griffin (#45)**

** Chaser: Brian Griffin (#8)**

** Beater: Peter Griffin [C] (#93)**

** Beater: Chris Griffin (#54)**

** Keeper: Glenn Quagmire (#69)**

** Seeker: Stewie Griffin (#08)**

** Coach: Joe Swanson**

**Portland Parselmouths**

** Chaser: Marge Simpson (#38)**

** Chaser: Bart Simpson (#54)**

** Chaser: Lisa Simpson (#45)**

** Beater: Nelson Muntz (#27)**

** Beater: Moe Szyslak (#32)**

** Keeper: Homer Simpson [C] (#83)**

** Seeker: Milhouse Van Houten (#43)**

** Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns**

** Tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme plays)

Michaels: Thus far, we've seen some real exciting Cartoon Quidditch preseason action! And now, the World League of Cartoon Quidditch is coming to you live from Portland, Oregon, for one last preseason Quidditch game before the regular season! Today, the New England Griffins will be squaring off against the Portland Parselmouths! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels, alongside John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger. So guys, who do you like in this game?

Madden: It's tough to say. All of the characters on both these teams are said to be very similar to one another. Some have even suggested that the Griffins are ripoffs of the Parselmouths! Either way, I can't really make a pick.

Ron: Well, seeing as how I was a Keeper when I was playing Quidditch, I'm going with New England. Keepers need to be quick and agile, and Glenn Quagmire certainly appears to be better at that than that fatass Homer Simpson.

Harry: And on top of that, New England's Seeker, Stewie Griffin is much more daring and aggressive than Portland's Milhouse Van Houten. That Milhouse is such a scaredy-cat and he cries easily, too! I think Stewie will win it for New England. His daring would make him a true Gryffindor!

Hermione: Uh, I think Stewie would be a Slytherin. He's much too cunning and manipulative to be a Gryffindor. Whatever, I pick Portland.

**Meanwhile, the New England Griffins and Portland Parselmouths have moved into position. As that happens, Glenn Quagmire ctaches sight of Marge Simpson;**

Quagmire: Ooooh, whoa, mama! And I thought Lois was hot. Giggity!

**On the Portland Parselmouths;**

Lisa: You ready, bro?

Bart: (snickers) These Griffins can eat my shorts!

Marge: Just remember kids, play fairly!

Lisa/Bart: Whatever.

Marge: You too, Homey!

Homer: (shrug)

**The Bludgers are then sent skyward; the Golden Snitch follows. Shortly thereafter, the referee tosses up the Quaffle.**

Michaels: And we're underway in Portland!

**After the Quaffle is tossed up, Bart Simpson comes up with it for the Portland Parselmouths. He's nearly hit in the head by a Bludger as he passes it to Marge Simpson. Marge gets through Lois and Brian Griffin, then heads toward the New England goal to take her shot...**

Michaels: SAVED, by Glenn Quagmire!

Marge: Damn!

Quagmire: Oh, you're hot when you're frustrated. Giggity!

Marge: Hmph!

**Meg Griffin now has the Quaffle. Chris Griffin catches a Bludger headed for her and whacks it in the opposite direction.**

** As that goes on...**

Harry: Looks like Milhouse Van Houten is already after the Snitch!

Hermione: And you said he was a bloody coward!

Ron: But he is!

**Already, Milhouse Van Houten has found the Golden Snitch and is chasing it. Gradually he gains ground on it. He doesn't get within catching distance, but he is able to stay close enough behind so as to avoid losing sight of it.**

** Meanwhile, Bart Simpson has the Quaffle once again. Nelson Muntz hits a Bludger away as he heads towards the New England goal. After getting past Meg Griffin, Bart gets in the scoring area and takes the shot...**

Michaels: Bart Simpson SCOORES! 10 points to the Portland Parselmouths!

Bart: Ay caramba! I did it!

Lisa: Nice one, Bart! (high-five)

Madden: Now it may be just me, but it looked as if Quagmire may have been hoggling Marge Simpson! See this? He's just staring at her compulsively, not paying attention to the Quaffle at all! This allows Bart Simpson to score no problem, and now Portland has a 10-0 lead.

**After the goal, Glenn Quagmire throws the Quaffle back into play; Lois Griffin catches it.**

Quagmire: Giggity!

**Peter bats away a Bludger as Lois passes the Quaffle to Brian.**

** While that's going on, Milhouse Van Houten is still chasing down the Golden Snitch, still trying to catch it. Then, from out of nowhere...**

Michaels: And here comes Stewie Griffin!

...

Milhouse: Get the hell outta here, you stupid baby!

Stewie: Dream on, bitch! Victory shall be mine!

Harry: There they go! They're fighting for the Snitch!

Hermione: You really think a baby would have a chance against a 10-year-old boy?

Ron: Well, that Stewie is a fearsome bloke, who knows?

**Stewie Griffin appears and starts to chase after the Golden Snitch. It only takes a short time for him catch right up to Milhouse. The two start to bump 'n grind on each other, trying to take each other's momentum away as they go for the Snitch.**

** Meanwhile, Meg Griffin has the Quaffle. After making it past Marge and Lisa Simpson, she finds her way to the New England goal, where she then takes her shot...**

Michaels: She SCOORES! Score is now tied 10-10!

Homer: D'OH!

Meg: Oh my God! I scored!

Lois: Great job, honey!

Madden: See here; Homer is defending the center hoop, so Meg heads towards it, then she shoots at the right hoop. Homer's not quick enough to get to it in time, and now it's a tie game.

Ron: It's like I said; Keepers need to be quick and agile, and Homer just doesn't seem to fit the bill!

Harry: Hmmm, I guess he would be better as a Beater.

**Homer Simpson throws the Quaffle back into play after the goal. He throws it in Marge's direction, but Lois intercepts it. Chris Griffin knocks a Bludger away as she makes her way through Portland's defense; this takes her a short while. But then, she finds herself shooting at the Portland goal...**

Michaels: SCOORE! 20-10, New England!

Homer: D'OH!

Peter: That was freakin' sweet, Lois!

Lois: Thanks, Peter.

Madden: Again, you see Homer is just not that quick of a Keeper. See Lois is headed for the right hoop, so that's where Homer is at. But then Lois shoots all the way over to the left hoop, and Homer just can't possibly catch it in time, and now New England is up 20-10.

Hermione: I really think Portland should have someone besides Homer as their Seeker.

**Once again, Homer throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** As various players on both sides scramble for it, Chris Griffin is set on hitting a Bludger in the opposite direction. But then Nelson Muntz, who's flying not too far away, spots the other Bludger, and then hits it Chris's direction...**

Michaels: And Chris Griffin's just been knocked off his broom!

Nelson: Ha ha!

Joe: TIMEOUT!

Madden: See Chris was looking at one Bludger, but Nelson Muntz is looking at the other Bludger. So watch; he hits this Bludger in Chris's direction, and BOOM! There goes Chris off his broom.

**Nelson Muntz hits a Bludger in Chris Griffin's direction, causing it to knock Chris off his broom. As a response to this, New England Griffins coach Joe Swanson calls timeout.**

Joe: You okay, Chris?

Chris: Yeah. Got my broom, it's fine.

Joe: Very good. Alright listen, guys. We're up 20-10, we just need to stay in the lead. And Stewie, catch that Snitch before that twerp Milhouse does!

Stewie: You got it!

Joe: Alright! LET'S DO IT!

**After the timeout, the game gets back underway.**

** Shortly afterwards, Stewie Griffin is going after the Golden Snitch once again. In a short time, he catches back up, and then seems like he's about ready to catch it. But then...**

Michaels: And her comes Milhouse Van Houten...and he almost T-bones Stewie Griffin! Penalty whistle has sounded!

Madden: Yeah, it looked like Milhouse was trying to collide into the Stewie Griffin. But he just barely misses. Either way, it's still illegal.

Hermione: This'll definitely be a blatching call on Portland.

**As Stewie Griffin is about to catch the Golden Snitch, Milhouse Van Houten comes out of nowhere and tries to T-bone Stewie Griffin. He just barely misses as the penalty whistle goes off. The on-the-pitch action stops as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Blatching. Portland, #43. Penalty shot for New England!

Milhouse: (facepalm)

Stewie: Heh heh heh!

**After the penalty call, Brian Griffin lines up to make the penalty shot. He reads Homer and the hoops for a few seconds, and takes the shot...**

Michaels: He SCOORES!

Homer: D'OH!

Brian: Whoa, I scored! Un-freakin'-believable!

Harry: Score is now 30-10, New England.

**A disgruntled Homer Simpson throws the Quaffle back into play after the penalty shot.**

** But just as soon as he does so, Lois Griffin intercepts it, and takes a shot...**

Michaels: And just like that, the Griffins score yet again! 40-10, New England.

Lois: YESS!

Homer: NOO!

Madden: See, when Homer throws the Quaffle back into play, it's intended for Lisa, but then Lois comes in and intercepts it. She then immediately shoots at one of the unguarded hoops, neither of which is Homer quick enough to make it to.

Hermione: This is quickly getting out of hand, if you ask me.

Ron: Well, you're the one who picked Portland to win this game, and look how they've been doing!

Hermione: (facepalm)

**Homer throws the Quaffle into play yet again. This time, it's Marge who catches it.**

** Moe Szyslak hits away a Bludger headed for Bart Simpson as this happens.**

** Meanwhile, Milhouse Van Houten is chasing after the Golden Snitch yet again. Before long, Stewie Griffin appears not far behind. Shortly thereafter, Stewie and Milhouse are running side-by-side yet again, exchanging hits and blows, trying to knock each other out of the chase.**

** Then, Milhouse grabs a hold of the tail end of Stewie's broom...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle!

Madden: I did see Milhouse Van Houten grabbing the tail end of Stewie Griffin's broom; I think he was trying to hold him up and slow him down.

Harry: You think so, John? But seriously, this is definitely going to be a Blagging call on the Parselmouths.

**Milhouse's actions result in a penalty whistle. The action on the pitch stops, and then the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Blagging. Portland, #43. Penalty shot for New England!

Bart: DAMMIT, Milhouse!

Stewie: (laughing)

**Brian Griffin sets up to make another penalty shot for the New England Griffins. Homer Simpson is defending the goal. Brian takes a moment, then he takes his shot;**

Michaels: SCOORE! 50-10, New England!

Homer: Goddammit!

Brian: Fuck yeah!

Hermione: I'm telling you boys, Homer Simpson is just not good enough to be a Keeper!

Madden: I agree with you, Hermione.

**Homer angrilly tosses the Quaffle back into play; Bart Simpson comes up with it. Nelson Muntz hits away a Bludger that's coming for him as he makes his way to the Portland goal.**

** When he gets in the scoring area, Bart Simpson takes his shot;**

Michaels: SAVED by Glenn Quagmire!

Bart: Dammit!

Quagmire: Ha ha, we're beating you! Giggity giggity goo!

**Lisa Simpson retrieves the Quaffle after the failed shot attempt. Several Chasers from both sides converge into her area, and they all start to squabble over the Quaffle.**

** Meanwhile, Milhouse Van Houten has resumed his chase for the Golden Snitch. He's about to catch it, when;**

Ron: What the bloody hell...!

Michaels: Stewie Griffin is shooting at Milhouse Van Houten with a laser blaster!

...

Hermione: Oh my God, he's hit! What the hell! Stewie should be ejected!

Harry: (facepalm)

Madden: (sigh)

**Just as Milhouse Van Houten is about to catch the Snitch, Stewie Griffin draws a laser blaster and begins to shoot at Milhouse. Milhouse dodges several shots before being hit in the shoulder. He groans in pain and is forced to back off. And Stewie capitalizes on this...**

Michaels: And Stewie Griffin has caught the Snitch! New England Griffins win 200-10.

Stewie: Victory is mine!

Brian: All right!

Lois: Yay, Stewie!

**Stewie Griffin catches the Golden Snitch, and the New England Griffins defeat the Portland Parselmouths 200-10. The Griffins celebrate wildly as the disgruntled Portland home crowd leaves the building. Meanwhile, Bart is checking up on his friend;**

Bart: Milhouse! You alright!

Milhouse: My shoulder hurts, but I'm okay!

Bart: Thank God, I was worried!

Milhouse: You were?

Bart: Well of course, you're my best friend! And even with those two penalties, you still did good out there.

Milhouse: Thanks, dude.

**The two friends shake on it, and then Milhouse heads to the hospital wing to have his shoulder taken care of while the rest of the Parselmouths head back to the locker room.**

Michaels: With the Griffins' victory in Portland, the Cartoon Quidditch preseason is in the books! This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying goodnight, and we hope you'll join us next week for the start of the regular season!


	6. Family Bonding

The much-anticipated WLCQ regular season is about to get started! However, I shall first like to present this little side story, which takes place the evening before the regular season starts.

It's set down in Miami, Florida, on the coastline, during sunset hours. Driving down a beachside roadway are the Simpsons; Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa, all of whom play for the Portland Parselmouths. They're here because this is where the Parselmouths will be playing their first regular season game, which will be versus the Miami Goblins.

But for now, the family is calmly driving around, checking out the local scenery. All feel a sense of contentment as they patrol the tropical environment that surrounds them. However, occasional passersby will recognize them and throw trash in their direction, shouting things like, "Parselmouths suck!" and "Goblins rule!" or "We're gonna destroy you!"

"Why, those little...!" exclaims Homer.

"Take it easy, Homey," Marge says, calming him down. "Besides, you get pretty fanatical yourself when it comes to sports."

"Do not!" Homer protests.

"Oh, please!" Lisa breaks in. "You always get so mad when your teams lose."

"Not to mention those fights you've picked," adds Bart.

"Why, you LITTLE...!"

"HOMER!"

Homer shuts up after this, and they just keep driving.

Then, Bart spots something. He sees a sign pointing to a beach access road, and becomes excited. "Hey, Lis!" he says. "Beach!"

Lisa sees the sign and also becomes excited. Then she eagerly asks, "Mom, Dad? Can we go to the beach? Please?"

Marge and Homer oblige. Bart and Lisa take with them towels, a Frisbee, and a digital camera with a tripod with them as their parents drop them off by the beach access road. "Have fun!" they both say as they drive off.

And so Bart and Lisa stroll down the access road to what is known as South Beach.

When they get there, a wave of contentment hits them. The skies are clear, the beach is clean, the water is clear and beautiful. The one downside is the sunset, which is in the west, and the beach is facing the east, thus no sun to reflect off the ocean water. But the biggest upside is;

"Wow, no people are around," observes Lisa.

"Perfect!" proclaims Bart.

More than satisfied with the environment with which they've been provided, Bart and Lisa head to a spot that is near the water and lay down their towels and other things there. Then they get down to their swimsuits, which they've been wearing under their clothes; Bart is wearing a red Speedo, and Lisa is wearing a pink bikini bottom... and nothing else.

"Ew, Lis, I can see your nipples!" Bart reels.

"Bart, it's South Beach!" replies Lisa. "It's a famous topless beach! Besides, you're one to talk in that Speedo!"

"Oh," Bart nervously blushes. "So, uh, whaddya want to do?"

Lisa thinks for a minute, or more like a second, and then proclaims, "Camera time!"

Bart eagerly agrees, and then he and Lisa set the camera up on its tripod, turn it on and activate its timer feature. When this is done, they proceed to take several pictures of each other together; the first is a long shot of them simply standing together, arms around each other. This is followed by a medium close up shot of the two making silly faces. Then, they do another medium close up, this time of Lisa giving Bart a playful noogie. After that, they do a medium shot of them hugging each other very cutely. Then, they do a long shot of Bart striking a pose in front of the waterfront; they do the same with Lisa. And finally, they top it off with a long shot of them striking airborne poses together.

When they're done, the two look through the pictures they've taken together, both commenting on how cute they look. Bart then asks, "Whaddya want to do now?"

Lisa glances at the ocean, then glances back at Bart and says, "Race ya!"

Lisa takes off running toward the ocean; Bart runs out after her. They're side-by-side when they get to the ocean. The two manage to get out to where their feet cannot touch the bottom; it is at this point that the they start to playfully splash each other, laughing gleefully with each other.

This goes on for a few minutes, before they both notice a very big wave coming, startling them both for a second. Then Bart grins and says, "Hey, Lis! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

Lisa returns his grin. As the wave breaks, she and Bart turns their backs to the wave, getting into position. As the wave gets close, they both start to swim vigorously. This allows the wave to pick them both up and carry them towards the shore. The two are pushed gracefully by the wave, towards the shore until they land on the sand, lying next to each other on their stomachs.

"Wow, bodysurfing is... fun!" Lisa exclaims.

"Wanna go again?" says Bart.

Lisa nods, and she and Bart run back into the ocean, laughing and splashing each other all the way. It doesn't take long before another big wave comes in and breaks. Bart and Lisa exchange daring smiles, then they start swimming, then the wave picks them up and propels them across the water. Before long, they're back on the sand, lying next to each other, laughing gleefully.

"That was awesome!" Bart says aloud. He and Lisa let out simultaneous sighs of contentment as they take a moment to rest on the sand. After a few minutes, Bart gets up and says, "Hey, you wanna throw the Frisbee around?"

"Yeah, sure," answers Lisa.

Bart picks up the Frisbee and yells out "Go long!" Lisa runs out for a distance as Bart throws the Frisbee at her. It spins through the air, flying until it meets the grasp of Lisa's hands as she leaps into the air and grabs it. She then throws it back to Bart. It glides along until it gets pulled into Bart's chest.

They throw the Frisbee around many more times for several more minutes. At one point, Lisa runs towards Bart as she throws him the Frisbee. Bart misses the Frisbee, then notices Lisa running right at him with a huge smile on her face. "Whoa, Lisa, wha-"

Before he can finish, Lisa pounces on Bart and knocks him down to the ground. Laughing, she starts to tickle him on the sides. Bart can't help but squirm as he laughs uncontrollably under the spell of Lisa's tickling. This close on to half a minute; then Bart overpowers Lisa, and starts to tickle her sides, making her wriggle around and laugh as he does so.

Lisa then gets back on top of Bart, and this time blows raspberries on his belly button, once again causing Bart to wriggle around on the ground laughing. After this, he once again manages to tackle Lisa; this time they grab hold of each other and roll down the beach together, sharing even more laughs. This goes on for a short time, then they stop, lying on top of each other, still laughing.

"Well, this has been fun," Lisa breaks in, "but I think we should rest a bit."

"Yeah, you're right," replies Bart. "Playing around can be exhausting!"

Lisa chuckles, then she and Bart get up and stagger towards where their beach towels are, When they get there, they both plop down on the towels on their backs, as if dropping dead. And so they both rest, staring up into the evening sky, not a worry on either of their minds.

After what seems like an eternity, Bart then sits up. "Uh, Lis?"

"Yeah, Bart?"

"Hey, uh, I know I suck at expressing myself, but, well, I've had an awesome time here-"

"Me too!" says Lisa as she sits up.

"But seriously," Bart continues, "I've been thinking about us, and, well I think we should try and be this close as brother and sister all the time. I mean, let's face it; back home, we hardly ever see eye to eye-

Lisa cuts him off here by putting a hand on Bart's shoulder and saying, "Hey, that's not totally true; it's just natural sibling rivalry, that's all. And if you recall, we have solved some big crimes and mysteries together, so..."

"Yeah, you're right!" Bart says, excited. "I guess we do click... sometimes."

Lisa laughs and says, "And if you want us to always be this close, I think this Quidditch business would work perfectly. For our whole family, in fact. We'll be a team in more ways than one! (wink)"

"And those Goblins won't even stand a chance!" replies Bart.

"Oh yeah!" proclaims Lisa. "GO PARSELMOUTHS!" she and Bart both shout out as they high-five.

After that moment of team spirit, Lisa spreads her arms and says to Bart, "Now, get over here, you!"

Bart moves up to Lisa with his own arms spread open, and the two share a hug.

"Love you, sis," Bart says softly.

"Love you, too, big brother," Lisa replies as she pats Bart on the back.

Then, just after the two pull apart;

"Bart! Lisa! Time to go!" Marge calls out.

"And Lisa, put something on, for God's sake!" adds Homer.

Somewhat disappointed that is has to end, but still happy with how their evening has been, Bart and Lisa get dressed, get their things, walk back down the beach access road and join their parents in the car.

"So, how was it?" Marge asks.

"It was awesome, Mom!" Bart replies.

"Yeah, you might say that we've never been closer," Lisa says.

"Awwww," replies Marge.

And with that, the family drives back to their hotel room in Miami, where they shall rest their weary bones in preparation for the coming season of Cartoon Quidditch...


	7. Week 1 Prologue

**Well, I must say that we've had one hell of a preseason to kick things off; so now comes the part of the season that actually matters; the regular season! As I stated in the introduction, there will be 22 weeks of gameplay, all teams will play each other simultaneously every Sunday afternoon, and there will be one Game of the Week each week. I will also make sure that every team is featured in the Game of the Week one time each.**

**So with that, here will be the matchups for Week 1;**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Atlanta Owls**

**Columbus Pixies vs London Chimeras**

**Denver Dementors vs Seattle Vampires**

**Houston Horcruxes vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Indiana Slughorns vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Paris Veela**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Osaka Oni**

**Montreal Manticores vs Louisville Phantoms**

**New York Dragons vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Miami Goblins**

**Rome Fairies vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**San Francisco Seers vs New England Griffins**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Washington Ministry**

**Game of the week; New York Dragons vs Los Angeles Undead**

**And, well, that's pretty much it, I guess. Hope to see you in L.A!**


	8. Week 1 New York vs Los Angeles

** Well, here we go! Week 1 of the World League of Cartoon Quidditch regular season is about to get underway. Today's Game of the Week; New York Dragons vs. Los Angeles Undead!**

** Team rosters;**

**New York Dragons**

** Chaser: Rose (#23)**

** Chaser: Trixie Carter (#46)**

** Chaser: Haley Kay Long (#13)**

** Beater: Jonathan Long (#22)**

** Beater: Susan Long (#31)**

** Keeper: Spud Spudinski (#38)**

** Seeker: Jake Long [C] (#32)**

** Coach: Luong Lao Shi**

**Los Angeles Undead**

** Chaser: James Possible (#97)**

** Chaser: Ann Possible (#79)**

** Chaser: Ron Stoppable (#15)**

** Beater: Jim Possible (#12)**

** Beater: Slim Possible (#21)**

** Keeper: Kim Possible [C] (#51)**

** Seeker: Wade (#33)**

** Coach: Betty Director**

** Tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: We've seen some thrilling preseason action, but now it's time for the real deal. We're in Week 1 of the Cartoon Quidditch regular season, and we're coming at you live from Los Angeles, California for this week's Game of the Week; featuring the New York Dragons vs the Los Angeles Undead! I'm Al Michaels, alongside John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger, thanks for joining us for this game. Guys, now that we're in the regular season, what are you expecting, particularly for this game?

Madden: I think this "game" should instead be called a "family feud." Because that's essentially what it is; you have the Long family making up the majority of New York, and the Possible family making up the majority of L.A. What's even more interesting is that one of them is involved in the secret spy business, and one is supposedly messing with dragon abilities, so this match-up should be interesting.

Ron: You know, it's said that New York seeker Jake Long actually _is_ a dragon. Personally, I don't know what to make of that, except that if he is, he may very well literally set the bloody face on fire!

Hermione: That would just be totally barbaric, Ron! You really think he would do that? Besides, how could a human be a dragon; that doesn't make any sense!

Harry: Hey, when you've seen ghosts, pony magic and pocket monsters on the Quidditch pitch, you know anything is possible! Of course, L.A. has secret agents on their team, so perhaps they'll be conditioned to deal with this sort of stuff, even if they don't have any magic powers.

Hermione: Well, at least they won't try to set the bloody face on fire!

Michaels: It could happen you know. The teams are in position, and we're ready to kick off the regular season!

**All the players for the New York Dragons and Los Angeles Undead are lined up around the center of the pitch; the Keepers are at their goals.**

Rose: You thinkin' about goin' dragon on these punks, Jake?

Jake: Maybe. Of course, their Seeker is pathetic, but I'll be more than willing to torch someone if I have to. (snickers)

Rose: (chuckles) That's my Jake! (kisses Jake on cheek)

**The Bludgers are released and they fly off; the Golden Snitch follows. The referee then picks up the Quaffle, waits a moment, and then tosses it into the air, signaling the start of the Cartoon Quidditch regular season!**

Michaels: Quaffle is up, regular season is underway!

**Immediately the Chasers start to scramble for the Quaffle and begin squabbling over it. In time, Ron Stoppable comes up with it. Trixie Carter and Haley Kay Long try to chase him down, but he outruns them.**

** Ann Possible beats a Bludger out of the way as Ron approaches the New York goal and takes his shot;**

Michaels: SAVED by Spud Spudinski!

Ron: Damn!

Spud: HA!

Madden: See, Ron was trying to make Spud think he was aiming for the center goal, then he aimed for the right goal. Unfortunately, Spud was too fast, and he was able to catch the Quaffle and keep it from going through the hoop.

**Spud Spudinski saves the Quaffle, and then throws it back into play, when Rose catches it.**

** Rose then drops the Quaffle when a Bludger almost hits her; it's intercepted by Ann Possible. But then, Trixie Carter takes it right back for the New York Dragons. Susan Long beats away a Bludger as Trixie evades James Possible, makes it to the Los Angeles goal and takes her shot;**

Michaels: Trixie Carter SCORES! New York Dragons are up 10-0!

Trixie: YEAHH! Yes!

Kim: Ugh!

Ron: It's okay Kim. You'll get it next time.

Madden: Trixie just got lucky here. She shot right at the hope that Kim was defending, but the Quaffle just slipped right through her fingers.

Ron: (sarcastic) It was very top-notch secret agent work, heh heh!

Hermione: That was rude!

**Trixie Carter scores a goal, putting the New York Dragons up 10-0. Kim Possible then throws the Quaffle back into play, and it's caught by James Possible.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** Our first game break takes us to New Orleans, Louisiana, where the New Orleans Dark Mark are hosting the Houston score is tied at 20. Petunia has the Quaffle for Houston. Robin is chasing after her trying to get it.**_

_Robin: Give it up, or you're gonna get it, bitch!_

_**Petunia treks on, however. And so Robin draws his kendo stick. When he gets within range, he swings his kendo into Petunia's neck with such force that she is decapitated. Her body is still flying on the broom as blood erupts like a volcano from the stump where her head used to be. Meanwhile, Robin goes to the Houston goal, shoots and scores, putting the New Orleans Dark Mark in the lead 30-20.**_

**BACK TO LOS ANGELES**

** James passes it to Ann Possible before Rose can take it from him. Slim Possible knocks a Bludger away as Ann carries the Quaffle toward the New York goal.**

** Ann Possible then takes her shot;**

Michaels: SAVED by Spud Spudinski!

Ann: (sigh)

Spud: (snickers)

**Spud Spudinski blocks the shot; the Quaffle is then caught by Haley Kay Long.**

** Haley almost makes it to the scoring area, but then Ron Stoppable snatches the Quaffle away. Rose and Trixie Carter both try to steal it, but they fail. Jonathan Long hits away an incoming Bludger as Ron Stoppable makes it to the New York goal;**

Michaels: Ron Stoppable SCORES! We're now tied at 10!

Ron: Oh hell YEAH!

Kim: Nice one, Ron!

Harry: Looks like Ron's secret agent skills paid off this time.

Madden: Yeah, he faked it to the left goal, then he shot over to the right goal, and Spud wasn't quick enough.

**Ron Stoppable scores a goal, tying the game at 10. Spud Spudinski throws the Quaffle back into play, and it's caught by Rose.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: And it looks like Jake Long has already gone after the Golden Snitch!

Harry: I don't know where Wade is, but he'd better watch out! If Jake Long really is a dragon, then well...

Hermione: I sure hope not!

**Jake Long has found the Golden Snitch, and is now chasing after it. It takes him several minutes, but he catches up. During this timeframe, New York scores two more goals, courtesy of Trixie Carter and Rose, putting the Dragons into the lead 30-10.**

** When he gets within range, Jake Long tries to catch the Snitch, but before long...**

Madden: And here comes Wade!

Michaels: And there they both go; at each other, that is.

Ron: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm just waiting for something to happen...

**Wade catches up to Jake Long and pulls alongside him. The two start to ram into each other, trying to take each other's momentum away. Jake then elbows Wade in the face, and then...**

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle!

Harry: I do believe that I saw Jake get an elbow in there...

Hermione: This is gonna be a Cobbing call on New York!

Ron: Wow, I thought Jake would do something more... destructive.

**Right after Jake elbows Wade, the penalty whistle is blown. The action stops as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Cobbing. New York, #32. Penalty shot for Los Angeles!

Jake: Oh, bogus!

Trixie: We have a good lead, Jake, it's okay (pats Jake on back)

**Ann Possible is the one to make the penalty shot for the Los Angeles Undead. Spud Spudinski is to defend. Ann takes a moment to read Spud and the hoops, and then she takes her shot;**

Michaels: SCOORE! New York's lead is cut to 10.

Ann: Yes!

James: That was awesome, honey! (kisses Ann on cheek)

**Ann Possible gets a goal; the score is now 30-20, New York.**

** Spud Spudinski throws the Quaffle back into play, and Haley Kay Long catches it.**

** The Chasers for the Los Angeles Undead converge on her, then Rose and Trixie Carter try to back up Haley, and that breaks down into a chaotic scramble.**

** While that goes on...**

Michaels: Wade is now chasing after the Golden Snitch unopposed!

Madden: He may have a shot at digging the Undead out of the hole they're in, as long as Jake doesn't catch on.

Ron: But if he does, look out!

Hermione: Honestly, Ron, I don't think this Jake Long is a dragon!

**Wade starts to chase after the Snitch once again.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** Our second game break takes us to Louisville, Kentucky, where the Louisville Phantoms are hosting the Montreal Manticores. The score is 50-10, Louisville. Jen Masterson has the Quaffle for Montreal, and is about to make a shot, when...**_

_Danny: I'm going ghost..._

_** Suddenly, Jen turns and goes the other way, still holding the Quaffle. This is because Danny has gone ghost and has possessed Jen's body. While possessed, she heads toward her own team's goal and shoots... and scores.**_

_** The Phantoms are now up 60-10. Danny leaves Jen's body as she gets chewed out by the rest of the Manticores. However, she has no memory of the incident...**_

**BACK TO LOS ANGELES**

** Just as Wade is about to catch the Snitch...**

Michaels: OH! Wade just got blasted by a stream of fire!

Madden: Holy crap, what happened? I think Jake Long did it!

Harry: Well, he had to have used a Fire-Making Spell to do that...

Hermione: Wait a second... that came out of his mouth!

Ron: I told you he was a dragon! I told you!

Hermione: It's a travesty is what it is! They should eject him for that!

**Before Wade can catch the Snitch, Jake Long breathes a jet of flame; it hits Wade directly. Wade falls off his broom, on fire. Meanwhile, Jake closes in on the Snitch...**

Michaels: He's got it! Jake Long has the Snitch! New York Dragons win 180-20!

Jake: YES! WE WON! We won, we won, we won!

Rose: You were magnificent, Jake! (kisses Jake on lips)

Jake: (giggle)

**Jake Long catches the Golden Snitch, and the New York Dragons win 180-20. The Los Angeles fans boo him for the way he did it, for torching the opposing Seeker, but that doesn't deter the Dragons from celebrating. Jake gets hugs from Susan and Jonathan Long and a kiss from Trixie Carter as the team jubilantly heads back to the locker room tasting victory.**

** Meanwhile, Wade is still lying on the ground, but he's not on fire anymore. He was able to smother them by stopping, dropping and rolling. The rest of the Los Angeles Undead has flown down to check on him.**

Kim: My God, Wade, are you okay?

Wade: I'm in a lot of pain, but I'm alright!

Ann: We need to get him to the hospital wing ASAP!

**The rest of the team takes Wade to the hospital wing ASAP as their despondent fans leave the premises.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Birmingham War Pigs; 190 - Nashville Basilisks - 0**

**Chicago Fire Crabs; 80 - Atlanta Owls; 170**

**Columbus Pixies; 210 - London Chimeras; 70**

**Denver Dementors; 50 - Seattle Vampires; 150**

**Houston Horcruxes; 20 - New Orleans Dark Mark; 250**

**Indiana Slughorns; 30 - San Antonio Centaurs; 190**

**Kansas City Inferi; 200 - Charlotte Hallows; 110**

**Las Vegas Night Elves; 150 - Paris Veela; 0**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters; 220 - Detroit Unicorns; 70**

**Minnesota Wormtails; 190 - Osaka Oni; 50**

**Montreal Manticores; 160 - Louisville Phantoms; 100**

**Philadelphia Thestrals; 160 - Kyoto Kappa; 50**

**Portland Parselmouths; 180 - Miami Goblins; 90**

**Rome Fairies; 70 - Oklahoma Orcs; 230**

**San Francisco Seers; 190 - New England Griffins; 110**

**St. Louis Serpents; 60 - Dallas Hippogriffs; 170**

**Tampa Bay Trolls; 200 - Arizona Phoenixes; 100**

**Tokyo Tengu; 230 - Milan Witchhunters; 20**

**Toronto Salamanders; 60 - Mexico City Chupacabras; 190**

**Toulouse Sphinxes; 210 - Richmond Werewolves; 10**

**Vancouver Grindylows; 10 - Washington Ministry; 170**

** League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** Washington Ministry (1-0)**

** Miami Goblins (0-1)**

** New England Griffins (0-1)**

** Richmond Werewolves (0-1)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (1-0)**

** New York Dragons (1-0)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (1-0)**

** Indiana Slughorns (0-1)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (1-0)**

** Houston Horcurxes (0-1)**

** Louisville Phantoms (0-1)**

** Nashville Basilisks (0-1)**

** West Division**

** San Antonio Centaurs (1-0)**

** Seattle Vampires (1-0)**

** Denver Dementors (0-1)**

** Los Angeles Undead (0-1)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (1-0)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (1-0)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (1-0)**

** St. Louis Serpents (0-1)**

** North Division**

** Kansas City Inferi (1-0)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (1-0)**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (0-1)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-1)**

** South Division**

** Atlanta Owls (1-0)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (1-0)**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (1-0)**

** Charlotte Hallows (0-1)**

** West Division**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (1-0)**

** Portland Parselmouths (1-0)**

** San Francisco Seers (1-0)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (0-1)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (1-0)**

** London Chimeras (0-1)**

** Milan Witchhunters (0-1)**

** Paris Veela (0-1)**

** Rome Fairies (0-1)**

** Pacific Division**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (1-0)**

** Montreal Manticores (1-0)**

** Tokyo Tengu (1-0)**

** Kyoto Kappa (0-1)**

** Osaka Oni (0-1)**

** Toronto Salamanders (0-1)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (0-1)**

Michaels: And what a way to kick off the regular season! This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying so long from Los Angeles, and we hope to see you all again for Week 2!


	9. Week 2 Prologue

** After a great start to the regular season, the World League of Cartoon Quidditch now gears up for Week 2!**

** Week 2 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs San Francisco Seers**

**Atlanta Owls vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Columbus Pixies vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Montreal Manticores**

**London Chimeras vs Washington Ministry**

**Los Angeles Undead vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Kansas City Inferi**

**New England Griffins vs Denver Dementors**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs St. Louis Serpents**

**New York Dragons vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Osaka Oni vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Paris Veela vs Rome Fairies**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Miami Goblins**

**Seattle Vampires vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Tokyo Tengu**

** Game of the week; Indiana Slughorns vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

** Hope to see you in Chicago!**


	10. Week 2 Indiana vs Chicago

** Week 2 Game of the Week; Indiana Slughorns vs Chicago Fire Crabs!**

** Team rosters;**

**Indiana Slughorns**

** Chaser: Kitty Kaswell (#22)**

** Chaser: Ollie (#53)**

** Chaser: Francisco (#88)**

** Beater: Dudley Puppy [C] (#99)**

** Beater: Bad Dog (#09)**

** Keeper: Verminious Snaptrap (#00)**

** Seeker: Keswick (#11)**

** Coach: The Chief**

**Chicago Fire Crabs**

** Chaser: Gary Snail (#0)**

** Chaser: Sandy Cheeks (#28)**

** Chaser: Pearl Krabs (#76)**

** Beater: Squidward Tentacles (#60)**

** Beater: Eugene H. Krabs (#79)**

** Keeper: Patrick Star (#87)**

** Seeker: Spongebob SquarePants [C] (#78)**

** Coach: Plankton**

** Tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: It was a wild start to the regular season last week, as you saw here on FOX, when Jake Long set Wade on fire to win the game for the New York Dragons! For Week 2, we're airing live from the Windy City; Chicago, IL, for today's Game of the Week, featuring two teams that have yet to make their first wins; the Indiana Slughorns and the Chicago Fire Crabs! I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger, thanks for having us!

Madden: Now these teams are both 0-1; although, Chicago was actually doing a real number on Atlanta; they just couldn't catch the Snitch. Indiana, on the other hand, had their hands full with San Antonio, and ultimately, they lost. I admit, I'm tempted to pick the Fire Crabs to win this thing, but I think this is anyone's game, really.

Harry: You know, it's funny that there's actually a team called the Slughorns; Slughorn was the name of a Potions professor at Hogwarts who I was very close to, and I just find it weird that one of these teams were at Hogwarts. Last I checked, none of these cartoons ever went to Hogwarts.

Hermione: Well either way, they have some pretty bad guys on their team; particularly that Snaptrap they have as Keeper; he's such a creep! Anyway, I pick Chicago to win this game, since they fared much better last week.

Ron: Yeah, I'm surprised they survived with that Early Cuyler and his bloody shotgun goin' off! But you know, Indiana does have some secret spies on their team. Of course, we saw some spies last week, and, well...

Michaels: It's gonna be a great one today, as the players are set up now.

**The players are lined up, and the Keepers are at their goals. The referee gets set to turn the balls loose.**

Spongebob: I'm ready! I'm ready! Are you all ready?! (laughing)

Squidward: Can it, Spongebob! I don't wanna lose another game, here!

Krabs: Oh, let the boy go! He's just real psyched, that's all!

**Soon, the Bludgers are released; the Golden Snitch then flies off. A few seconds later, the referee takes the Quaffle, and then tosses it up into the air.**

Michaels: And we are underway in Chicago!

**The Chasers quickly converge on the Quaffle and try to gain possession. Before long, Kitty Kaswell and Sandy Cheeks are fighting for it. Next thing they know, a Bludger comes right for them, and they're forced to break off, dropping the Quaffle. Under it's magical enchantments, the Quaffle falls very slowly, so that players don't have to constantly dive down to the ground for it. It is picked up by Pearl Krabs.**

** Pearl's father, Eugene, beats away a Bludger coming for her as she evades other Chasers on her way to the Indiana goal. Once she reaches the scoring area, she shoots...**

Michaels: And she SCOORES! The Fire Crabs score the first 10 points of this game!

Krabs: Way to go, Pearl!

Pearl: Thanks, Dad!

Madden: That just slipped right through Snaptrap's fingers! He's a big badass supervillain, I don't get it!

Hermione: I'd say it was a Confundus Charm, but no one in this game is magical, so...

** Pearl Krabs puts the Chicago Fire Crabs in the lead 10-0. Verminious Snaptrap then throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is caught by Francisco.**

** Francisco heads with the Quaffle towards the Chicago goal, but then, the Quaffle is wrestled out of his arm by Sandy Cheeks. As she evades Indiana's Chasers, Squidward Tentacles hits a Bludger towards them, causing them to scatter.**

** This allows Sandy to make her way to the Indiana goal without much more difficulty. When she gets to it, she takes her shot;**

Michaels: SAVED, by Verminious Snaptrap!

Sandy: Doggonit, I missed!

Snaptrap: Pathetic little rodent, heh!

Harry: Well, Indiana better start playing some offense, or they'll be screwed.

Ron: Their Keeper is pretty dimwitted; they could take advantage of that.

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break is set in Washington, DC, where the Washington Ministry are hosting the London Chimeras. The score is 20-10, London. Penny Fitzgerald has the Quaffle for the Chimeras. She's in the scoring area ready to shoot, but before she can, Washington Keeper Stan Smith draws a 9mm glock and shoots the Quaffle right out of her hands.**_

_Stan: Ha ha, sucker!_

_**Roger Smith takes the Quaffle for the Washington Ministry, and quickly scores, tying the game at 20.**_

**BACK TO CHICAGO**

** Kitty Kaswell takes the Quaffle after Verminious Snaptrap's save. Dudley Puppy hits a Bludger to throw Gary Snail off as Kitty heads toward the Chicago goal.**

** Sandy Cheeks snatches it away before she can get to it, though. Ollie and Francisco make attempts to take it back, but she evades both of them. From here, she once again makes it to the Indiana goal, where she takes her shot;**

Michaels: Sandy Cheeks SCORES! 20-0, Fire Crabs.

Sandy: Woo, hot dog! I got it that time!

Madden: Now, this was much more based on skill than Pearl Krabs's goal. On this one, Sandy fakes to the left, but then, BOOM! She hits the center goal instead, gets it in, and Chicago now has a 20-point lead.

Hermione: At least no one here is using any special powers or anything.

**Verminious Snaptrap throws the Quaffle back into play, and Ollie takes possession of it.**

** As he carries the Quaffle onwards;**

Michaels: And it looks like Keswick has set out after the Golden Snitch!

Harry: He is a pretty small and fast guy, I'd bet he could catch it pretty quick!

Ron: Yeah, before Spongebob catches on.

**Keswick is now chasing after the Golden Snitch. He dodges Bludgers several times as he does so, with Bad Dog hitting one away on one occasion. While this goes on, the Chicago Fire Crabs score another goal, padding their lead to 30.**

** After a while, Keswick is within catching distance of the Snitch, but the Snitch evades his hand every time he reaches out to grab it.**

** While that chase continues, Kitty Kaswell has the Quaffle, having stolen it from Gary Snail. Evading a Bludger, she manages to get to the scoring area for the Chicago goal;**

Michaels: SAVED, by Patrick Star!

Kitty: Ugh!

Patrick: Ha ha! Hey, Dudley! Your girlfriend's so ugly that everyone died! The end! (laughing)

**Patrick Star blocks the shot, then taunts both Kitty and Dudley Puppy over it. Dudley notices a Bludger coming for him. Timing it just right, he takes his Bludger Bat and hits the Bludger toward the Chicago goal...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Dudley Puppy just hit a Bludger right into Patrick Star's face and knocks him off his broom!

Plankton: TIMEOUT!

Hermione: What a cheap shot! That was so wrong!

Ron: Hey, in this game, it's perfectly legal.

Harry: (chuckling)

**Dudley Puppy hits the Bludger in a way that makes it hit Patrick Star in the face, knocking him off his broom. Plankton, coach of the Chicago Fire Crabs, calls timeout in response to this. All of the team rushes to Patrick's aid.**

Spongebob: Oh my God! You all right, buddy?

Patrick: (panting) Yeah. (panting) I think I'm alright.

Sandy: Man, that dog is one mean son of a bitch. Get it? Son of a bitch! (laughing)

Plankton: Alright guys, that's enough. Now we just gotta keep holding off those Slughorns like we've been doing. And Spongebob, get that Snitch before they do!

Spongebob: Yes sir!

Plankton: Alright boys, let's do it!

**After the timeout, the game gets back into motion. Francisco gets the Quaffle for the Indiana Slughorns, but Gary Snail steals it before he can get in the scoring area. Ollie and Kitty Kaswell try to take it back, but they miss. Squidward Tentacles knocks away an oncoming Bludger as Gary makes it to the Indiana goal and shoots;**

Michaels: The snail SCORES! 40-0, Chicago!

Spongebob: Yay, you got a goal, buddy!

Gary: (purr)

Madden: Man, I don't know what Indiana's thinking, but this game is quickly running away from them.

Harry: Uh, well, Chicago still hasn't made any runs at the Golden Snitch, and if that keeps up, then, well...

**Yet again, Verminious Snaptrap throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** While the Chasers scramble for it;**

Michaels: Hey, it looks like Spongebob's started after the Snitch!

Ron: 'Bout bloody time! They're up 40-0.

Madden: Well, Keswick better get back on it if he has any intention of saving this game for Indiana.

**Spongebob SquarePants is now chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Chicago Fire Crabs. As he does so, Pearl Krabs scores another goal, putting them up 50-0.**

** Just as Spongebob is in position to catch the Snitch;**

Michaels: And here comes Keswick!

Madden: He may just save this game for Indiana after all.

Harry: I don't know, this should be interesting.

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us to Birmingham, Alabama, where the Birmingham War Pigs are hosting the Detroit Unicorns. The score is 40-0, Detroit. The two Seekers, Spike (Detroit) and Pickles (Birmingham) are both after the Golden Snitch. The two are clashing each other with their brooms, trying to knock each other off course.**_

_** Then Nathan Explosion, Beater for the War Pigs, hits a Bludger into Spike, knocking him off his broom.**_

_Nathan: METAL!_

_**Pickles goes on to catch the Snitch, and the Birmingham War Pigs win the game, 150-40.**_

**BACK TO CHICAGO**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Eugene Krabs just hit a Bludger right into Keswick's head, and he's off his broom!

Hermione: (sigh) I hate it when they do that!

Ron: Hey, that's Quidditch for ya.

Harry: And we've seen much worse, if you know what I mean.

**As Spongebob SquarePants and Keswick go at it for the Golden Snitch, Eugene Krabs hits a Bludger right into Keswick's direction, hitting him in the head and knocking him off his broom.**

** Shortly thereafter;**

Michaels: And it's over! Spongebob SquarePants has the Snitch!

Spongebob: YAY! I got the Snitch! We won!

Patrick: We did it, buddy!

Sandy: Woo-hoo, darn tootin'!

Michaels: And the final score; Chicago Fire Crabs, 200; Indiana Slughorns, 0.

**Spongebob SquarePants catches the Golden Snitch, and the Chicago Fire Crabs defeat the Indiana Slughorns 200-0. Both the team and their home crowd celebrate wildly over the win.**

** Meanwhile, Keswick scatters to his feet, having woken up from the Bludger hit.**

Chief: Y'alright?

Keswick: Yeah, but it still sucks that we lost.

Dudley: Well, we still have 20 games left; we have all the time in the world!

Keswick: (sigh)

**And with that, the Indiana Slughorns leave in defeat.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes; 170 - San Francisco Seers; 40**

**Atlanta Owls; 90 - Tampa Bay Trolls; 210**

**Charlotte Hallows; 200 - Houston Horcruxes; 60**

**Columbus Pixies; 80 - Philadelphia Thestrals; 210**

**Dallas Hippogriffs; 10 - Milwaukee Death Eaters; 170**

**Detroit Unicorns; 40 - Birmingham War Pigs; 150**

**Kyoto Kappa; 160 - Montreal Manticores; 50**

**London Chimeras; 30 - Washington Ministry; 190**

**Los Angeles Undead; 80 - San Antonio Centaurs; 220**

**Louisville Phantoms; 50 - Portland Parselmouths; 180**

**Milan Witchhunters; 230 - Mexico City Chupacabras; 100**

**Nashville Basilisks; 190 - Kansas City Inferi; 70**

**New England Griffins; 220 - Denver Dementors; 90**

**New Orleans Dark Mark; 30 - St. Louis Serpents; 160**

**New York Dragons; 100 - Las Vegas Night Elves; 190**

**Oklahoma Orcs; 190 - Toulouse Sphinxes; 110**

**Osaka Oni; 200 - Vancouver Grindylows; 30**

**Paris Veela; 80 - Rome Fairies; 240**

**Richmond Werewolves; 60 - Miami Goblins; 240**

**Seattle Vampires; 220 - Minnesota Wormtails; 70**

**Toronto Salamanders; 60 - Tokyo Tengu; 210**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** Washington Ministry (2-0)**

** Miami Goblins (1-1)**

** New England Griffins (1-1)**

** Richmond Werewolves (0-2)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (2-0)**

** Columbus Pixies (1-1)**

** New York Dragons (1-1)**

** Indiana Slughorns (0-2)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (2-0)**

** Nashville Basilisks (1-1)**

** Houston Horcurxes (0-2)**

** Louisville Phantoms (0-2)**

** West Division**

** San Antonio Centaurs (2-0)**

** Seattle Vampires (2-0)**

** Denver Dementors (0-2)**

** Los Angeles Undead (0-2)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Oklahoma Orcs (2-0)**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (1-1)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (1-1)**

** St. Louis Serpents (1-1)**

** North Division**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (2-0)**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (1-1)**

** Kansas City Inferi (1-1)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-2)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (2-0)**

** Atlanta Owls (1-1)**

** Charlotte Hallows (1-1)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (1-1)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (2-0)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (1-1)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (1-1)**

** San Francisco Seers (1-1)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-1)**

** Rome Fairies (1-1)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (1-1)**

**London Chimeras (0-2)**

** Paris Veela (0-2)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (2-0)**

** Kyoto Kappa (1-1)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (1-1)**

** Montreal Manticores (1-1)**

** Osaka Oni (1-1)**

** Toronto Salamanders (0-2)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (0-2)**

Michaels: Well, Week 2 is in the books - what will Week 3 have in store for us? Until then, this is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying farewell from Chicago, and see you for Week 3!


	11. Two Teams Meet

Before we get to Week 3, there's a side story that ought to be told first, which takes place on Saturday, the day before the Week 3 games are to be played.

It takes place in Houston, Texas. This city is home to one of the Cartoon Quidditch teams, the Houston Horcruxes. This week, they will be facing their division rivals, the Louisville Phantoms.

Both teams have gotten off to rough starts; they have both lost their first two games of the season, and are tied for last place in the American Conference South Division; the Nashville Basilisks are ahead of them with 1 win and 1 loss, and the Birmingham War Pigs are leading the division with 2 wins and 0 losses.

Anyways, this side story, even though it's set in Houston, will be focusing on the Louisville Phantoms. Despite their having started the season with 2 losses, they are not ready to get despondent just yet. So for now, the whole team is spending their evening at the pool at their motel. Maddie and Jack Fenton are chilling in the hot tub,and Valerie Gray, Jazz Fenton and Paulina are playing monkey in the middle.

Meanwhile, Danny Phantom, Sam Manson, and Tucker Foley are lounging on the pool deck, talking.

"So what are you thinking, Danny?" Tucker asks. "Thinkin' of going ghost, maybe taking over someone's body or anything?"

"Hey, that's not gonna guarantee us a win!" explains Danny. "Remember when we played Montreal? I possessed their Chaser and had her score a goal for us, and we still lost."

"Yeah, but ghost or not," replies Tucker, "we're still gonna win this. Besides, I hear there are ways to take care of those Horcruxes, if you know what I mean! *wink*"

"Oh yeah, that's right!" Sam jumps in. It was back in Week 1 when they were playing the New Orleans Dark Mark. One of their Chasers was actually decapitated in that game. Blood was erupting out and everything! Poor girl!"

"Yeah, but she was reincarnated afterwards," Tucker explains, "so, you know, no harm, no foul."

"OK, guys," Danny protests, "I really, really don't wanna promote killing small animals. That doesn't sound appropriate for Quidditch, you know."

"You know what?" Sam jumps in. "I agree. Sure, they may be reincarnated, but it's still not right!"

"Come on guys, really?!" Tucker shoots back.

"Yeah, but don't you worry!" Danny sneers. "That doesn't mean I won't go ghost, or cause shit to go down, or anything, heh heh!" Tucker returns a sinister smile, holds up a hand, and he and Danny high-five.

Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie Fenton are still chilling in the hot tub, arms around each other. They're just about to start making out when an aluminum can suddenly comes out of nowhere and hits Jack in the face. He and Maddie turn to see a trash-talking Horcruxes fan standing just outside the pool area. When they face him, he says, "Go back to Louisville! Horcruxes RULE!"

"Why, that dirty mother-" Jack starts.

"Relax, Jack," Maddie says in a sensual manner. "I'll make you forget about that in no time!" And with that, Maddie plants her lips on Jack's. Before long, the two are making out like crazy, tonguing and caressing each other's half-naked bodies...

As that goes on, Valerie, Paulina and Jazz are now playing Marco Polo; nothing more is relevant there.

Meanwhile, Sam goes and lies down on Danny's lounge chair, snuggling up to Danny and saying "You know, you were real cute back there, when you were standing by your views and all that, heh heh."

Danny, knowing what's coming, turns to Tucker and says, "Uh, you may want to leave now." As Tucker gets up and walks away, Danny and Sam put their arms around each other, and their lips start to move towards each other. But before they can lock, a strange voice suddenly says, "Hello, Phantoms!"

Everyone looks towards the gate to the pool area and becomes uneasy. Standing just inside the gate is a group of animals; a yellow bunny named Cuddles, a pink bear named Giggles, a blue squirrel named Petunia, two green raccoons named Lifty and Shifty, a blue deer named Lumpy, a blue bear with a red bandana named Splendid, and a green bear in an army uniform named Flippy. These are the characters who play for the Houston Horcruxes, the team that the Louisville Phantoms are here to square off against.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Valerie snaps at them.

"Oh relax!" says Flippy, the coach. "We're not here to cause trouble, we just wanna talk."

"Well, you are really cute," Paulina says, "but just what do you want to talk about?"

"Hmmm," says Lifty, one of the Beaters, "well I take it you guys are all feeling confident about our game tomorrow, eh?"

"Damn right!" Jazz shouts at them. "You don't stand a chance against us!"

"Heh heh heh," sneers Shifty, the other Beater. "Big talk comin' from a babe!"

"What did you say?!" Jazz shoots back.

"He says 'get out of the pool so we can see your tits and asses!'" says Lumpy, the Keeper, referring to Jazz, Paulina and Valerie.

"That's my sister your fuckin' with!" Danny says.

"DANNY!" yell Jack and Maddie.

"Alright, come on, guys," says Flippy, ending the arguments. "Pardon my teammates. We only came here to meet up with you guys personally, since we will be playing each other tomorrow. I know both of us are winless, but I know at least one of us will come through, heh heh! But anyways, I hear a certain one of you actually is a phantom? *wink*"

"Show 'em, Danny!" says Sam.

"Alright, I'm going ghost..."

Danny goes ghost, and flies right into the body of Petunia, one of the Chasers, taking complete control of her. Petunia, while possessed, scampers around the pool area several times at a speed she couldn't do normally. She then regroups with her teammates, and then Danny leaves her body and re-materializes.

"Whoa, was I just possessed?" says Petunia. I don't remember a thing!" Her teammates applaud, and Danny beams.

"But seriously," says Flippy. "It was cool meeting all of you. You all seem really confident, and well, I guess we're looking to forward to playing you guys tomorrow... okay, see you all on the Quidditch pitch."

And with that, the Horcruxes go on their way, and the Phantoms go back to their business. Sam snuggles back up to Danny and says, "So Danny, where were we?" After that, she and Danny put their arms around each other and start to make out...


	12. Week 3 Prologue

** Week 3 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Columbus Pixies**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Kyoto Kappa vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Rome Fairies**

**Miami Goblins vs Las Vegas Night Elves **

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Montreal Manticores vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Richmond Werewolves**

**New York Dragons vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Denver Dementors**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Paris Veela**

**San Francisco Seers vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Seattle Vampires vs London Chimeras**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Osaka Oni**

**Washington Ministry vs New England Griffins**

** Game of the week; Seattle Vampires vs London Chimeras**

** See you in London!**


	13. Week 3 Seattle vs London

** Week 3 Game of the Week; Seattle Vampires vs London Chimeras!**

** Team rosters;**

**Seattle Vampires**

** Chaser: Master Shake (#55)**

** Chaser: Ignignokt (#06)**

** Chaser: Err (#41)**

** Beater: Frylock [C] (#15)**

** Beater: Carl Brutananadilewski (#5)**

** Keeper: MC P Pants (#48)**

** Seeker: Meatwad (#56)**

** Coach: Dr. Weird**

**London Chimeras**

** Chaser: Penny Fitzgerald (#69)**

** Chaser: Banana Joe (#25)**

** Chaser: Anais Watterson (#40)**

** Beater: Richard Watterson (#83)**

** Beater: Nicole Watterson (#38)**

** Keeper: Darwin Watterson (#78)**

** Seeker: Gumball Watterson [C] (#87)**

** Coach: Miss Simian**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: FOX Sports welcomes you to Week 3 of the World League of Cartoon Quidditch regular season! After two exciting games in the United States, we're now coming to you live from London, England for our first international broadcast of the season, in which the London Chimeras will host the Seattle Vampires! Hello again, Al Michaels with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger, thanks for watching. And Harry, I don't think I need to ask who you, Ron and Hermione like in this game!

Harry: The London Chimeras, of course! (chuckles) But seriously, I like the way this team is playing, even though they're 0-2.

Ron: Still, I seriously believe they'll be more than a match for the other European teams, as well as the Japanese teams, the American teams, the whole lot of them, really!

Madden: But you know, these Seattle Vampires are really tough customers! They've won both their first two games this season, and they're tied with the San Antonio Centaurs for the lead in the American West. You know what, screw it. I pick the Vampires to win this one!

Hermione: Oh screw you, John! The Chimeras are gonna win this one, and you know it!

Michaels: Alright guys, knock it off, the game's about to start!

**As all the players get lined up, the referee gets ready to release the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch.**

Gumball: Alright guys, we got it this time! Whatever happened in our first two games is irrelevant, the London Chimeras will come out on top this time!

Penny: (giggles) You know, you're cute when you're pumped up. (kisses Gumball on cheek)

Gumball: (blushes)

Shake: These Britfags don't stand a chance... and neither did Carl's mom, last night! Ha!

Carl: Shut up!

**The Bludgers are released and fly off; the Golden Snitch follows suit. The referee then takes the Quaffle, waits for a moment, and then tosses it up into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is up, and here we go!

**After a brief scramble, Master Shake comes up with the Quaffle. Carl Brutananadilewski hits away a Bludger as Shake heads toward the London goal. But before Shake can reach the scoring area, Penny Fitzgerald pops up and takes the Quaffle away.**

Shake: Hey, get back here, bitch!

Penny: (snickering)

**Ignignokt and Err both try to take the Quaffle back for Seattle, but Penny avoids them both. Before long, she finds her way to the Seattle goal, enters the scoring area and takes her shot;**

Michaels: Penny Fitzgerald SCORES! The Chimeras are on the board!

Penny: Yay, I did it!

Hermione: That was bloody brilliant!

Madden: You can see here, Penny Fitzgerald shooting to the right goal while MC P Pants was defending the center. This is essential because since P Pants has so many appendages, he could save the shot easily if one shot right at him. So fakeouts are essential for London, here.

Ron: I hate spiders, man!

**Penny Fitzgerald scores a goal, putting the London Chimeras up 10-0 and inciting cheers from their home crowd.**

** After the goal, MC P Pants throws the Quaffle back into play, to have it caught by Ignignokt. Richard Watterson his a Bludger at Ignignokt, but it misses. It does however, cause Ignignokt to pass the Quaffle to Err. Err then passes it to Master Shake, who, after avoiding the opposing Chasers, reaches the London goal and shoots;**

Michaels: SCORE! Tie game, 10-10.

Shake: Fuck yeah, I made a goal!

Frylock: Awesome, Shake!

Carl: Whatever, man.

**Shake scores and ties the game at 10. The Quaffle is then thrown back into play by Darwin Watterson.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break is set in Portland, Oregon, where the Portland Parselmouths are hosting the Charlotte Hallows. The score is 20-0, Portland. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro has the Quaffle for the Charlotte Hallows. She's about to pass it to Phineas Flynn, but then he takes a Bludger to the face and falls off his broom.**_

_Isabella: PHINEAS!_

_**Isabella quickly swoops down to check on Phineas, allowing Bart Simpson to steal the Quaffle from her. He quickly takes it to the Charlotte goal and scores, putting the Portland Parselmouths up 30-0.**_

**BACK TO LONDON**

** Anais Watterson takes the Quaffle for the London Chimeras. Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Uh oh, look out! Gumball Watterson has already set out after the Golden Snitch!

Harry: Brilliant! Go Chimeras!

Madden: Uh, just hope that Meatwad doesn't get it first.

Ron: Whatever, mate.

**Gumball Watterson sees the Golden Snitch and sets out after it. The Snitch darts around rapidly, but Gumball is able to stay with it. In a while, he gets close enough to try and catch it, but the Snitch slips through his fingers each time.**

** Meanwhile, Ignignokt has the Quaffle for the Seattle Vampires. As he flies towards the London goal, Banana Joe comes at Ignignokt from his 3-o'clock, as if he's trying to t-bone him;**

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle out!

Madden: I did notice that Banana Joe was looking like he was gonna t-bone Ignignokt-

Hermione: It's a Blatching on London! Unbelievable!

Harry/Ron: (facepalm)

**As Banana Joe tries to t-bone Ignignokt, the penalty whistle is sounded. The action stops, and then the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Blatching. London, #25. Penalty shot for Seattle!

Banana Joe: Damn!

Ignignokt: Karma seems to have taken it's hold, ha ha!

**Banana Joe gets called for Blatching, and this leads to a penalty shot for Seattle. Ignignokt decides to take the shot on the London goal, which is defended by Darwin Watterson. Ignignokt reads the goal, then takes his shot;**

Michaels: He SCORES! Seattle goes up 20-10.

Ignignokt: I scored a goal! This is a most favorable situation!

Err: Most favorable!

Ron: Come on, Chimeras! You're bloody better than this!

**Ignignokt scores on the penalty shot, putting the Seattle Vampires up 20-10.**

** Darwin Watterson angrilly throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is caught by Banana Joe.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: And it appears that Meatwad has now gone after the Golden Snitch!

Harry: Damn! Come on Gumball! Get back in this!

Madden: Man, I hate it when you guys get biased!

Ron: Screw off, John! We want our team to win!

**Meatwad sets out after the Golden Snitch. He catches up to it quickly, but the Snitch eludes his hand every time he tries to catch it. Then...**

Michaels: Look out, here comes Gumball!

Ron: Brilliant!

Hermione: Yes! Go Chimeras!

Madden: (facepalm)

**As Meatwad continues to try and catch the Snitch, Gumball takes up the chase, going side-by-side with Meatwad. The two ram each other, trying to take away each other's momentum. Unfortunately, this allows the Snitch to gain ground on them both...**

** In the meantime, Err now has the Quaffle for the Vampires. Frylock hits a Bludger away as Err evades Anais Watterson on his way to the London goal. When he gets to the scoring area;**

Michaels: Err SCORES! 30-10, Seattle!

Err: This is most favorable!

Ignignokt: Yes, we're leading by two goals.

Harry: (shakes head)

**Err scores, putting the Seattle Vampires up 30-10.**

** And yet again, Darwin Watterson throws the Quaffle back into play. Anais Watterson catches it. Nicole Watterson hits away a Bludger as she heads towards the Seattle goal. But before she can get there...**

Hermione: OH MY GOD!

Michaels: Frylock has just blasted Anais Watterson off her broom with lightning from his eyes!

Miss Simian: TIMEOUT, goddammit!

Hermione: They should eject that box of French fries, dammit!

Harry: Relax, Hermione. She doesn't look badly injured.

**Frylock shoots blasts of lightning out of his eyes, knocking Anais Watterson off her broom. Miss Simian, coach of the London Chimeras, calls timeout. The team then converges to check on Anais;**

Miss Simian: You okay?

Anais: Yes. And my broom's alright. But seriously, what is that guy's problem?

Gumball: Don't worry about it, sis. Let's just try and end this thing.

Miss Simian: Hear that? Gumball's right for once. Alright, let's go!

**Anais gets back on her broom, the timeout is called off, and the game is resumed.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This game break is set in Houston, Texas, where the Houston Horcruxes are hosting the Louisville Phantoms. The score is 50-30, Louisville. Giggles has the Quaffle for the Houston Horcruxes. She's just about to shoot when Danny Phantom suddenly shoots a green fireball from his hand. The fireball hits Giggles right in the face, burning right through her, and melting all of her facial features.**_

_Danny: Take that, bitch!_

_**As Danny gets a kiss from Sam Manson, Tucker Foley takes the Quaffle, heads to the Houston goal, and scores, putting the Phantoms up 60-30.**_

**BACK TO LONDON**

** As the game gets back underway after the timeout, Gumball Watterson and Meatwad both go back out after the Golden Snitch, and Master Shake comes up with the Quaffle for the Seattle Vampires. Penny Fitzgerald, Banana Joe and Anais Watterson all try to take it away, but fail. Master Shake quickly heads up to the London goal and shoots;**

Michaels: Shake SCORES!

Shake: Fuck yeah!

**Master Shake scores and puts the Seattle Vampires up 40-10. But right after that happens;**

Michaels: Gumball's got the Snitch! He's got the Snitch!

Gumball: (gasp) Yes, we won! We won!

Meatwad: NO! Shit!

Michaels: London Chimeras win 170-40!

Harry/Ron/Hermione: GO CHIMERAS!

Madden: (shakes head)

**Right after the Seattle Vampires score their fourth goal, Gumball Watterson gets ahead of Meatwad, and promptly catches the Golden Snitch. As a result, the London Chimeras defeat the Seattle Vampires, 170-40.**

** The London home crowd erupts into a roar. As the Seattle Vampires dejectedly retreat to the locker room, the Chimeras all gather round, with Gumball in the middle, all cheering wildly. Penny Fitzgerald then takes Gumball's hand, and the two seal the victory with a kiss on the lips, inciting another roar from the fans.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls - 20; Arizona Phoenixes - 150**

**Birmingham War Pigs - 230; Columbus Pixies - 70**

**Charlotte Hallows - 0; Portland Parselmouths; 240**

**Detroit Unicorns - 100; Dallas Hippogriffs - 150**

**Kansas City Inferi - 60; Chicago Fire Crabs; 180**

**Kyoto Kappa - 210; St. Louis Serpents - 70**

**Los Angeles Undead - 20; Toronto Salamanders - 160**

**Louisville Phantoms - 220; Houston Horcruxes - 30**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 30; Rome Fairies - 170**

**Miami Goblins - 160; Las Vegas Night Elves - 40 **

**Milwaukee Death Eaters - 90; Tampa Bay Trolls - 190**

**Montreal Manticores - 20; Tokyo Tengu - 160**

**Nashville Basilisks - 50; Richmond Werewolves - 230**

**New York Dragons - 10; Indiana Slughorns - 150**

**Oklahoma Orcs - 80; Minnesota Wormtails - 200**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 90; Denver Dementors - 180**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 30; Paris Veela - 190**

**San Francisco Seers - 90; New Orleans Dark Mark - 200**

**Toulouse Sphinxes - 250; Milan Witchhunters - 50**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 60; Osaka Oni - 240**

**Washington Ministry - 50; New England Griffins - 150**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** Miami Goblins (2-1)**

** New England Griffins (2-1)**

** Washington Ministry (2-1)**

** Richmond Werewolves (1-2)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (2-1)**

** Columbus Pixies (1-2)**

** Indiana Slughorns (1-2)**

** New York Dragons (1-2)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (3-0)**

** Louisville Phantoms (1-2)**

** Nashville Basilisks (1-2)**

** Houston Horcurxes (0-3)**

** West Division**

** San Antonio Centaurs (2-1)**

** Seattle Vampires (2-1)**

** Denver Dementors (1-2)**

** Los Angeles Undead (0-3)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (2-1)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-1)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (2-1)**

** St. Louis Serpents (1-2)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (2-1)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (2-1)**

** Kansas City Inferi (1-2)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-3)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (3-0)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (2-1)**

** Atlanta Owls (1-2)**

** Charlotte Hallows (1-2)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (3-0)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (2-1)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (1-2)**

** San Francisco Seers (1-2)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Rome Fairies (2-1)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (2-1)**

** London Chimeras (1-2)**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-2)**

** Paris Veela (1-2)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (3-0)**

** Kyoto Kappa (2-1)**

** Osaka Oni (2-1)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (1-2)**

** Montreal Manticores (1-2)**

** Toronto Salamanders (1-2)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (0-3)**

Michaels: Until Week 4, this is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying farewell from London, England, and we'll see you all back in the States next week.


	14. Week 4 Prologue

**Week 4 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Columbus Pixies**

**Atlanta Owls vs Seattle Vampires**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Denver Dementors vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Portland Parselmouths**

**London Chimeras vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Los Angeles Undead vs New England Griffins**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Miami Goblins vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Osaka Oni vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Paris Veela vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Rome Fairies vs Milan Witchhunters**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Tokyo Tengu vs San Francisco Seers**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Montreal Manticores**

**Washington Ministry vs New York Dragons**

**Game of the Week; Osaka Oni vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

** See you in New Orleans!**


	15. Week 4 Osaka vs New Orleans

** Week 4 Game of the Week; Osaka Oni vs New Orleans Dark Mark!**

**Osaka Oni**

** Chaser: Goku [C] (#54)**

** Chaser: Bulma (#49)**

** Chaser: Tenshinhan (#20)**

** Beater: Piccolo (#73)**

** Beater: Kuririn (#00)**

** Keeper: Vegeta (#49)**

** Seeker: Gohan (#45)**

** Coach: Kame-Sen'nin**

**New Orleans Dark Mark**

** Chaser: Robin [C] (#58)**

** Chaser: Speedy (#27)**

** Chaser: Terra (#98)**

** Beater: Cyborg (#70)**

** Beater: Raven (#60)**

** Keeper: Starfire (#85)**

** Seeker: Beastboy (#89)**

** Coach: Bumblebee**

** Tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: We're in Week 4 of the season, and do we have a superpowered game for you today! We're live from New Orleans, LA, where teams of super-powered humans from both sides of the Pacific have come to wage war, Quidditch style! Thanks for joining us as the Osaka Oni will be squaring off against the New Orleans Dark Mark! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Well all I know for sure is that this game will be one of the wildest we have! Like you said, Al, both of these teams are made up mainly of super-human beings, with a variety of superpowers to boot. And with the things characters have gotten away with thus far this season, just imagine what'll happen here!

Hermione: I'm honestly real worried about what could happen here. Apparently, these guys are all gonna be beating either senseless; what if someone dies?

Ron: You worry too much, Hermione. These are cartoons... they can do ANYTHING! Although, I do wish that Superman was playing for New Orleans. (wink)

Harry: Oh yeah, you're right! Then we'd have Goku vs Superman! (laugh) But seriously, I, for one, would love to see what sort of superhuman abilities these guys use on each other.

Michaels: Well, we're about to find out...

**All of the players are lined up into position, hovering above the Quidditch pitch. The Bludgers and Golden Snitch are ready to be released.**

Cyborg: Hey Beastboy! You think these Japanese will even stand a chance against us?

Beastboy: No chance in hell! We beat them in World War II, we'll beat 'em here for sure!

Robin: Hey, come on, guys. Don't get too cocky, they may go Super Saiyan on us!

Beastboy: Whatever. We're still gonna win!

**The Bludgers and Snitch are then released; they fly off. The referee then picks up the Quaffle, waits a moment, and then tosses it up.**

Michaels: Here we go; the Quaffle is up, and we're underway!

Robin: Titans, GO!

**As the Quaffle comes up, it is Bulma who catches it for the Osaka Oni. Raven hits a Bludger at her, but it misses, and almost hits Terra. Bulma throws the Quaffle, with it intended for Goku, but Speedy intercepts it.**

Speedy: (snickering)

**Both Goku and Bulma try to take the Quaffle back; both fail. As Cyborg knocks away an incoming Bludger, Speedy flies to the Osaka goal without further opposition. When he enters the scoring area, he shoots;**

Michaels: SAVED by Vegeta!

Speedy: (sigh)

Vegeta: (cackling)

Madden: Vegeta should definitely be greatful for his Saiyan abilities. Watch, he's defending the right goal, but then Speedy shoots all the way over to the left, and he's still able to save it! A phenomal save!

Harry: Also, Speedy doesn't have any "super powers," he just has gadgets.

Ron: Terra, on the other hand...

**Vegeta saves the shot, and the Quaffle remains in play. Tenshinhan is the first to get his hands on it. As he starts toward the New Orleans goal, Robin tries to snatch the Quaffle away, but Tenshinhan passes it to Goku before he can get it. Goku then passes it to Bulma as Piccolo knocks a Bludger at Terra, who's chasing Bulma. After this exchange, Bulma is able to make it to the New Orleans goal, and into the scoring area to shoot;**

Michaels: Bulma SCORES! Ten points to Osaka!

Bulma: HA! Yes, I got it!

Starfire: Urrgh!

Madden: Bulma just got lucky here. Starfire could've easily used those energy balls she shoots from her hands and saved it, or maybe knocked Bulma off her broom. But for some reason, she just didn't do it.

Hermione: Well, maybe she's actually playing fairly; more so than other players we've seen.

Harry: I... wouldn't be so sure.

**Bulma shoots and scores, putting the Osaka Oni up 10-0. Starfire then throws the Quaffle back into play, where it is caught by Terra.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Columbus, Ohio, where the Columbus Pixies are hosting the Arizona Phoenixes. The score is tied at 10. Fry has the Quaffle for the Arizona Phoenixes. Cosmo makes a couple of attempts to steal it, but they don't work. Then;**_

_Wanda: Immobulus!_

_**Wanda casts an Immobilizing Charm, freezing Fry in mid-air. Cosmo wrenches the Quaffle from his arm, takes it to the Arizona goal, and scores, putting the Columbus Pixies up 20-10.**_

** BACK TO NEW ORLEANS**

** As Terra takes the Quaffle, there's a Bludger headed right for her. She can't see it, and no Beaters can reach it in time. So Cyborg intervenes...**

Madden: What was THAT?!

Michaels: Cyborg just shot some sort of laser blast and knocked that Bludger clean outta the park!

Hermione: Bloody hell, he could kill someone with that damn thing!

Cyborg: BOO-YAH!

Terra: Hey thanks, Cyborg!

**Before the Bludger can hit Terra, Cyborg shoots a laser blast from his weapon arm, hitting the Bludger with such force that it is sent flying out of the Quidditch pitch. Of course, it will return, and soon...**

** Meanwhile, Terra has passed the Quaffle to Robin. Shortly thereafter, Bulma snatches it away. Speedy tries to take it back for New Orleans, but misses. Kuririn knocks away a Bludger as Bulma makes her way to the New Orleans goal. But before she can shoot...**

Bulma: OWW! What the fu-

Michaels: Starfire has just shot some sort of green energy disc and hit Bulma right in the arm, the Quaffle is out, and now New Orleans has it!

Hermione: That's not fair! She could've killed her!

Ron: You said that last time, but no one's gotten hurt.

Harry: Hmmm...

**Starfire shoots a green energy disc out of her right hand. It hits Bulma right in the arm that's holding the Quaffle, which she drops as she's hit. As she shakes it off, Terra gets the Quaffle for the New Orleans Dark Mark.**

** Goku gives chase, but he's forced to break off when Raven hits a Bludger in his direction. After that, Terra is able to make it to the Osaka goal. She shoots...**

Michaels: And she SCORES! We're now tied at 10!

Terra: YES!

Beastboy: That was awesome, Terra!

Madden: Vegeta's Saiyan abilities must not've kicked in this time. He was defending the center goal, Terra shoots to the left goal, but he just doesn't get there in time this time.

**Terra scores to tie the game at 10. Vegeta then throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is retrieved by Goku.**

** Then...**

Michaels: And it appears that Beastboy is after the Golden Snitch!

Ron: I just wonder what sort of super powers this guy has up his sleeve, heh heh!

Hermione: (sigh)

**While the Chasers continue to go at it, Beastboy sets out after the Golden Snitch. After some time of flying after it, he's caught up. But the Snitch eludes him every time he tries to catch it. Then;**

Michaels: Look out! Gohan's in the picture, now!

Madden: Yes, but I'm not sure how he'll fare against Beastboy's powers, whatever they are...

**Before long, Gohan is also going after the Golden Snitch, and is flying right alongside Beastboy. As soon as that happens, Gohan lashes out at Beastboy with his elbow...**

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Madden: And it sounded right when Gohan lashed out at Beastboy with his elbow there...

Hermione: It's gonna be Cobbing on Osaka!

**Right as Gohan strikes Beastboy with his elbow, the penalty whistle is blown. The action stops as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Cobbing. Osaka, #45. Penalty shot for New Orleans!

Gohan: Oh come on, I hardly even touched that faggot!

Goku: (facepalm)

**Gohan is hit with a Cobbing call, and so New Orleans gets a penalty shot, which Robin elects to take. Vegeta will try to defend;**

Goku: Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his shooting power?

Vegeta: (gasp) It's over 9,000! (crushes scouter)

Goku: WHAT, 9,000?! There's no way that can be right... can it?

Robin: I think it's right. After all, I am the Boy Wonder...

...

Michaels: He SCORES! New Orleans takes the lead, 20-10.

Robin: Powerful enough for ya?

Starfire: Yes, you got us goal!

**Robin scores on the penalty shot, putting the New Orleans Dark Mark into the lead, 20-10.**

** Vegeta then throws the Quaffle back into play, and Tenshinhan catches it. He makes it past Robin, Speedy and Terra as he heads to the New Orleans goal. Raven, however, sees a Bludger coming between him and her, and seizes the chance;**

Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Kame-Sen'nin: TIMEOUT!

Michaels: Tenshinhan is hit right in the head by a Bludger beat by Raven, and Osaka has called timeout!

Hermione: That is just so barbaric! Eject her!

Harry: You think everyone should be ejected.

Hermione: Well, no one's playing fair!

Ron: (shakes head)

**Tenshinhan gets hit in the head and knocked off his broom with the Bludger that Raven whacked at him, prompting the Osaka Oni to call timeout. As Tenshinhan gets up, the rest of the team converges to check on him;**

Tenshinhan: Don't bother asking, I'm okay.

Kame-Sen'nin: You sure?

Tenshinhan: Yes, I'm fine! Let's just try and finish this game!

Kame-Sen'nin: Very well.

_** GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the Chicago Fire Crabs. The score is 40-30, Chicago. Spongebob SquarePants and Wallabee Beetles are both chasing after the Golden Snitch, beating and banging on each other viciously. Then Hoagie P. Gilligan, who's observing this chase, notices a Bludger coming to him. Seizing the chance, he hits the Bludger right towards them, and it knocks Spongebob clean off his broom.**_

_Patrick: (gasp) SPONGEBOB!_

_**Patrick abandons the hoops to check on his friend; however, Plankton hasn't bothered to call timeout. As a result, Kuki Sanban is able to score a free goal, tying the game at 40. Right after that happens, Wallabee Beetles catches the Snitch, thus ending the game. Final score; 190-40, Philadelphia.**_

** BACK TO NEW ORLEANS**

** The Osaka Oni regain their composure, the timeout is terminated, and the game resumes.**

** Bulma comes up with the Quaffle, but Speedy steals it away before she can shoot. Then Goku takes it back for Osaka before Speedy can reach the scoring area. This back and forth sequence goes on for a while...**

** Meanwhile, Gohan and Beastboy are once again chasing after the Golden Snitch, once again beating and banging on each other.**

** Eventually, Beastboy loses his patience and his cool...**

Madden: Oh my... what the f-

Michaels: Don't ask how, but Beastboy's just transformed himself into a Velociraptor!

Hermione: I didn't know an Animagus could turn into a-

All: OH!

Michaels: He's just hit Gohan in the side with one of those sickle claws!

Harry: Don't even say it, Hermione!

Ron: Also, I don't think Beastboy is an Animagus. Or a Metamorphagus...

**After having lost his patience and his cool, Beastboy transforms into a Velociraptor. Gohan notices, but keeps trucking on, until Beastboy sinks one of his sickle claws right into Gohan's side. Gohan manages to stay on his broom, but is forced to fall back, groaning and clutching his side in pain.**

** After that fiasco...**

Michaels: And he's got it! Beastboy has caught the Golden Snitch, and the Dark Mark win the game!

Beastboy: WOOOOOO, we fuckin' won! BOO-YAH!

Cyborg: Dude, that's MY catchphrase! Oh, but it's alright, you won us the game!

Terra: Come here, you! (kisses Beastboy multiple times on the cheek)

Beastboy: (giggles)

**Beastboy catches the Golden Snitch, and so the New Orleans Dark Mark defeat the Osaka Oni, 170-10.**

** A wild roar erupts from the New Orleans home crowd as the team celebrates the victory, which includes Beastboy getting multiple kisses from Terra. Meanwhile, as the rest of the Osaka Oni head back to the locker room in shame, Gohan heads to the hospital wing to get his wound treated, accompanied by his father, Goku.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes - 50; Columbus Pixies - 180**

**Atlanta Owls - 40; Seattle Vampires; 200**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 40; Philadelphia Thestrals - 190**

**Denver Dementors - 150; Louisville Phantoms - 60**

**Detroit Unicorns - 60; Nashville Basilisks - 180**

**Las Vegas Night Elves - 0; Portland Parselmouths - 200**

**London Chimeras - 160; Toulouse Sphinxes - 50**

**Los Angeles Undead - 80; New England Griffins - 170**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 220; Kyoto Kappa - 40**

**Miami Goblins - 90; Houston Horcruxes - 220**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters - 230; Charlotte Hallows - 100**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 90; Dallas Hippogriffs - 180**

**Paris Veela - 60; Vancouver Grindylows - 170**

**Richmond Werewolves - 190; Indiana Slughorns - 30**

**Rome Fairies - 150; Milan Witchhunters - 90**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 50; Birmingham War Pigs - 230**

**St. Louis Serpents - 20; Oklahoma Orcs - 150**

**Tampa Bay Trolls - 170; Kansas City Inferi - 50**

**Tokyo Tengu - 20; San Francisco Seers - 160**

**Toronto Salamanders - 210; Montreal Manticores - 30**

**Washington Ministry - 70; New York Dragons - 200**

** League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (3-1)**

** Miami Goblins (2-2)**

** Richmond Werewolves (2-2)**

** Washington Ministry (2-2)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (3-1)**

** Columbus Pixies (2-2)**

** New York Dragons (2-2)**

** Indiana Slughorns (1-3)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (4-0)**

** Nashville Basilisks (2-2)**

** Houston Horcurxes (1-3)**

** Louisville Phantoms (1-3)**

** West Division**

** Seattle Vampires (3-1)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (2-2)**

** Denver Dementors (1-3)**

** Los Angeles Undead (0-4)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (3-1)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-2)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (2-2)**

** St. Louis Serpents (1-3)**

** North Division**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (3-1)**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (2-2)**

** Kansas City Inferi (1-3)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-4)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (4-0)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (3-1)**

** Atlanta Owls (1-3)**

** Charlotte Hallows (1-3)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (4-0)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (2-2)**

** San Francisco Seers (2-2)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (1-3)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Rome Fairies (3-1)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (2-2)**

** London Chimeras (2-2)**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-3)**

** Paris Veela (1-3)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (3-1)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (2-2)**

** Kyoto Kappa (2-2)**

** Osaka Oni (2-2)**

** Toronto Salamanders (2-2)**

** Montreal Manticores (1-3)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (1-3)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying so long from New Orleans, and we'll see you all for Week 5!


	16. Week 5 Prologue

** Week 5 match-ups;**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Atlanta Owls**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Denver Dementors vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**London Chimeras vs Paris Veela**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Columbus Pixies**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Montreal Manticores vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Louisville Phantoms**

**New England Griffins vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Osaka Oni vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Portland Parselmouths vs New York Dragons**

**Rome Fairies vs San Francisco Seers**

**Seattle Vampires vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Washington Ministry vs Miami Goblins**

**Game of the week; Kansas City Inferi vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

** See you in Toulouse!**


	17. Week 5 Kansas City vs Toulouse

** Week 5 Game of the Week; Kansas City Inferi vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

** Team rosters;**

**Kansas City Inferi**

** Chaser: Gwen Tennyson (#01)**

** Chaser: Julie Yamamoto (#35)**

** Chaser: Rook Blonco (#20)**

** Beater: Kevin Levin (#44)**

** Beater: Paradox (#52)**

** Keeper: Azmuth (#81)**

** Seeker: Ben Tennyson [C] (#10)**

** Coach: Max Tennyson**

**Toulouse Sphinxes**

** Chaser: Aelita Stones (#20)**

** Chaser: Jeremie Belpois (#12)**

** Chaser: Odd Della Robbia (#37)**

** Beater: Yumi Ishiyama (#34)**

** Beater: Ulrich Stern (#40)**

** Keeper: Franz Hopper [C] (#13)**

** Seeker: William Dunbar (#27)**

** Coach: Jim Morales**

** FOX?**

Michaels: Bonjour, Quidditch fans! Once again, we'll be seeing some international action; this week, we're coming at you live from Toulouse, France. Last week, we saw one of our Japanese teams get crushed by one of our American teams while in the States. And this week, the Toulouse Sphinxes will be hosting the Kansas City Inferi! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels, with my partners John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: As much I'm looking forward to this one, I think Toulouse may be in one heck of a pickle here. Kansas City has some big-time superhumans in their roster. I'm not sure what their powers are exactly, but they'd probably give both Osaka and New Orleans a run for their money.

Harry: Well, rumor has it that one of Kansas City's Chasers can cast magic spells; we may see some spells from our world come into play... Hermione would tell you all about them.

Hermione: I just hope we don't actually see any of those spells.

Ron: Bloody hell, Hermione! You need to quit being so uptight, and just enjoy the game.

Michaels: Well, she better loosen up fast; we're just about ready to get started.

**Before they get into position, the Toulouse Sphinxes are all gathered around their coach, Jim Morales;**

Jim: Alright, guys, we really got our work cut out for us. We're going up against some really superpowered people here. Now we may have our home crowd supporting us, but what be don't have are superpowers of our own. So remember, be as aggressive as you can while they're acting normal, get some goals, and catch that Snitch! And if you think they're gonna do something weird, back off... but DON"T GIVE UP THE QUAFFLE - OR THE SNITCH! Understood? ... Alright, let's GO!

**After the coach's words, the Toulouse Sphinxes assume their positions; the Kansas City Inferi have already done so. When everyone is ready, the referee appears and promptly releases the Bludgers and Golden Snitch, letting them fly as they please.**

** After they've flown their way, the referee takes the Quaffle to the center of the pitch, and then tosses it up in the air.**

Michaels: There goes the Quaffle; we're underway in France!

**Right as the Quaffle hits mid-air, the Chasers immediately scramble for it; it's obtained by Aelita Stones of the Toulouse Sphinxes. Gwen Tennyson and Rook Blonco both fail to take it away, leaving Aelita seemingly unopposed. But before she can shoot at the Kansas City goal, Julie Yamamoto appears out of nowhere and snatches the Quaffle right out of Aelita's arm.**

Aelita: HEY!

Julie: Yeah? Come and get me!

**Julie immediately heads toward the Toulouse goal. A Bludger heads in her direction, but Paradox takes care of that. However, she's not even halfway to the goal when Odd Della Robbia appears and steals the Quaffle. Before anyone else can get to him, he reaches the Kansas City goal and shoots;**

Michaels: SCORE! 10 points to Toulouse!

Della: Whoo yeah, I got mad skills!

Madden: This was quite a poor effort on Azmuth's part. Odd Della shoots right at him, but the Quaffle just slips through his fingers. I honestly think Della just got lucky on that shot!

**Odd Della scores to put the Sphinxes 10-0 ahead of the Inferi. Azmuth then throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** It is retrieved by Rook Blonco. Ulrich Stern hits a Bludger at him, but it misses. This prompts him to pass the Quaffle to Gwen Tennyson. Jeremie Belpois approaches Gwen in an effort to take the Quaffle back for Toulouse, but Gwen holds on to it.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Tokyo, Japan, where the Tokyo Tengu are hosting the Kyoto Kappa. The score is 20-0, Kyoto. Seto Kaiba has the Quaffle for the Kyoto Kappa. None of the Tokyo Tengu's Chasers are within reach of him as he heads toward their goal. But this won't stop them;**_

_Iris: Axew, use Giga Impact!_

_..._

_** Iris's Pokemon Axew uses Giga Impact on Seto Kaiba, knocking him into the crowd, forcing the fans to scatter. Amidst the confusion, Misty takes the Quaffle for Tokyo, and scores shortly thereafter, cutting Kyoto's lead to 10.**_

**BACK TO TOULOUSE**

** Just as Gwen is about to enter the scoring area for the Toulouse goal, Aelita Stones pops up and steals the Quaffle without warning. She makes a break for the Toulouse goal, with Gwen right on her tail.**

** But unfortunately for Gwen, neither Julie nor Rook are in range, and can't provide backup. So she has to take drastic measures in order to keep Aelita away from the goal;**

Gwen: _Relashio_!

...

Michaels: And for some reason, Aelita Stones has just let go of the Quaffle!

Aelita: How... what the-

Ron: She was just about to shoot, why the bloody hell would she do that?

Madden: I don't know, but I did see Gwen glowing a really creepy bright purple-

Hermione: Don't tell me she used a Revulsion Jinx! Good lord!

Harry: Well, how else was she gonna keep her from the goal?

**Gwen Tennyson uses a Revulsion Jinx on Aelita Stones, forcing her to let go of the Quaffle before she can shoot. Gwen picks it up before Aelita can get back to it, and then rushes to the Toulouse goal.**

**A Bludger is headed towards her, but Kevin Levin knocks it away. And before long, Gwen reaches the Toulouse goal. She shoots...**

Michaels: She SCORES! We're tied at 10!

Gwen: YES! Oh yeah!

Kevin: Awesome goal, Gwen!

Madden: Notice Franz Hopper is defending the center hoop, so Gwen goes for the right hoop. Franz can't get their in time, and now we're tied at 10. Great shot by Gwen Tennyson!

**Gwen Tennyson scores a goal to tie the game. Franz Hopper then throws the Quaffle back into play for it to be caught by Jeremie Belpois.**

** Jeremie passes the Quaffle to Aelita Stones as a Bludger nearly hits him. Ulrich Stern knocks away a Bludger headed for her. Rook Blonco makes a go for the Quaffle, but he comes up empty.**

** But then, before Aelita can make it into the scoring area, the Quaffle gets snatches right out of her arm by Julie Yamamoto.**

Aelita: Ugh! What the hell!

Julie: Smell ya later!

**Both Jeremie Belpois and Odd Della Robbia try to take the Quaffle back for Toulouse, but they fail. Halfway to their goal, a Bludger is headed Julie, but it misses. After that, she's able to take her shot at the Toulouse goal;**

Michaels: SCORE! Kansas City takes the lead, 20-10.

Ben: Great job, Julie!

Julie: Woo-hoo!

**Julie Yamamoto scores a goal to put the Kansas City Inferi in the lead 20-10. Franz Hopper then throws the Quaffle to Odd Della Robbia. Meanwhile,**

Michaels: Looks like William Dunbar's gone after the Snitch!

Ron: Bloody good for them. Maybe they can get the Snitch and end this before Kansas City hurts them too much.

Hermione: Especially since these confounded referees won't do a bloody thing about it!

Harry: Oh, jeez.

**William Dunbar is now chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Toulouse Sphinxes. The path he takes has many twists and turns, as this Snitch is particularly feisty. It takes a while, but he eventually gets within catching distance. However, the Snitch's feistiness is making that rather difficult...**

** In the meantime, Jeremie Belpois has the Quaffle for the Sphinxes, with Rook Blonco a ways behind. No one else is within range. As a last resort, Rook pulls out a strange metallic device, points it in Jeremie's direction, and pulls it's trigger...**

Michaels: OH! Rook Blonco's just tasered Jeremie Belpois, and now he has the Quaffle!

Hermione: That is outrageous!

Madden: Let it be noted, Hermione, that he is not using a wand, so it's okay.

Hermione: That doesn't make it right!

**It turns out that Rook Blonco has a so-called ProtoTool, a weapon that can work as a blaster, power sword, quantum staff, bow, grappler, taser, or fishing pole. He uses it's taser function on Jeremie Belpois, shocking him and causing him to drop the Quaffle. When that happens, Rook retracts the taser and takes the Quaffle.**

** On his way to the Toulouse goal, he keeps his ProtoTool out, using it to intimidate the other Chasers. The Sphinxes' Beaters try to hit Bludgers at him, but they're way off the mark. In no time, he's made it to the Toulouse goal;**

Michaels: He SCORES! 30-10, Kansas City!

Rook: BOO-YAH!

Ben: Nice one, dude!

**Rook Blonco scores, and the Kansas City Inferi go up 30-10. Once again, Franz Hopper throws the Quaffle back in; this time, it is caught by Aelita Stones.**

** As this goes on, William Dunbar is still chasing after the Golden Snitch, and has come oh so close to catching it. But he's about to get more than what he's bargained for...**

Michaels: And Ben Tennyson looks like he's now gone after the-

Madden: What the h-...OH MY GOD!

Ron: BLOODY HELL!

Harry: Ben Tennyson has just Transfigured himself into some freakish humanoid with diamond-plated armor, or something!

Hermione: I've never even heard of such a Transfiguration! What the hell's goin' on here?

Ben: (singing) Am I evil? Yes I am! Am I evil? I am, man. Yes I am!

**It just so happens that Ben Tennyson possesses an item known as the Omnitrix; a watch that has the power to transform the wearer into the form of one of many different alien species. In this instance, Ben transforms into Diamondhead, a humanoid alien equipped with diamond armor and armed with razor-sharp diamond blades that can cut through practically anything.**

** In this form, Ben takes after the Golden Snitch, and very quickly pulls alongside William Dunbar. William looks over at him and gasps in shock at what he sees. At the same time, Ben lashes out at him with one of his diamond blades, grazing his left wrist.**

William: AAAAAA!

**The pain is blinding. Had Ben been a centimeter or two closer, he would've severed William's hand.**

** Meanwhile, Gwen Tennyson has gone after Odd Della Robbia, as he has the Quaffle for Toulouse and is looking to score a goal. However, Gwen is not in close enough range. None of her teammates are within range to give her any backup, either. This leads her to make an EXTREMELY drastic move;**

Gwen: _Slugulus Eructo!_

...

Madden: Whoa, she just blasted him off his broom!

Jim: Timeout, goddammit!

Hermione: Oh, God! What spell has she used this time?

Ron: I think we're about to find out...

**Gwen Tennyson casts a spell to knock Odd Della Robbia off his broom. This leads Jim Morales, coach of the Toulouse Sphinxes, to call timeout. As Della lands flat on his back on the ground, the rest of the team rushes to his aid...**

_** GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break is located in New York City, where the New York Dragons are hosting the Portland Parselmouths. The score is 40-10, Portland. Milhouse Van Houten is chasing after the Golden Snitch, with Jake Long just behind him. Milhouse makes a grab for it as Jake Long takes in a deep breath... and breathes out a jet of fire.**_

_Milhouse: AAAAA!_

_**The flame singes Milhouse's back just as he reaches for the Golden Snitch. Even so, he still manages to catch it. Milhouse cheers and Jake pouts as the Portland Parselmouths win 190-10.**_

** BACK TO TOULOUSE**

Yumi: You okay, Della?

**Della tries to stand up, his face very pale. But he can only manage to get on his hands and knees, gagging as if he's about to throw up.**

Ulrich: Say something!

**But instead of saying something, Della vomits. But instead of puking out stomach acids and undigested food, he pukes out a living, breathing slug.**

Whole team: Ew, yuck!

Jim: Jesus Christ! We gotta get him to the hospital wing, now!

Michaels: Uh, call me crazy, but apparently Odd Della Robbia has just puked out a live slug, and now he's being taken out of the game to be admitted to the hospital wing.

Hermione: ...

Ron: Bloody hell. I've had that happen to me before. It ain't fun!

Harry: Yeah, and you were the one who cast it. And it backfired.

Ron: Shut up, Harry!

**As Odd Della Robbia pukes out another slug, stadium hands come to help him up. They assist him in walking, and escort to him to hospital wing. He continues to vomit slugs on the way there. Meanwhile...**

Referee: Gwen Tennyson, you're outta here!

Gwen: That's a bunch of bull!

Referee: You just put someone in the hospital; that doesn't sound like bull to me!

Gwen: Well you can't kick me out, 'cause I'm fuckin' leavin'! You got that? I'm outta here!

...

Michaels: And we're getting word that Gwen Tennyson has just been ejected from the game!

Hermione: IT'S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!

Madden: Wow, this is the first time the league's cracked down on something like this. Of course, no one was hospitalized before.

**Gwen Tennyson is ejected from the game for putting Odd Della Robbia in the hospital. She departs to her team's locker room in disgust.**

** When both teams, both one Chaser short, regain their composure, the timeout is ceased and the game is resumed.**

** As the remaining Chasers scramble for the Quaffle, William Dunbar gets back on the Golden Snitch almost immediately. But then...**

Madden: LOOK OUT!

Michaels: Uh, Ben Tennyson's now transformed into... what is that?

Harry: It looks like some sort of mutant Velociraptor, quite different from the one Beastboy turned into.

Ron: William Dunbar better watch his back.

**Using the Omnitrix, Ben Tennyson now transforms into XLR8, a mutant alien Velociraptor with super-speed capabilities...**

All: WHOA!

Madden: He just went from one side of the pitch to the other in less than a second, and now he's right alongside Dunbar!

Hermione: What the... I can't think of any spell that does that!

Michaels: I don't think Ben Tennyson has any magical powers, Hermione.

**As XLR8, Ben uses the speed capabilities to get from one side of the pitch to the other in less than a second, pulling right alongside William Dunbar in the chase for the Snitch. Then...**

Madden: Here we go again...

Michaels: Uh, what is he, now?

Ron: He looks like the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four.

Harry: That ain't no human torch, Ron...

**Ben Tennyson now assumes the form of Heatblast, a humanoid alien with the ability to conjure and shoot out fire. As he fights William Dunbar for the Snitch, he conjures up a fireball with his right hand, and points it at William...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Ben Tennyson has hit William Dunbar with a fireball, and has taken him out of contention for the Snitch!

Hermione: Eject him, dammit!

Harry/Ron: (facepalm)

**Ben Tennyson hits William Dunbar in the head with a fireball, knocking him off his broom. William hits the ground hard, his head on fire. Fortunately, he's able to stop, drop, roll and smother it before it burns him too badly.**

** Meanwhile...**

Madden: Okay, now this is getting old!

Michaels: (sigh) What is he, now?

Ron: Some giant humanoid... with four arms!

Harry: Oh, he's so gonna get the Snitch with those! Trust me, this game's over!

**Ben Tennyson now takes the form of Fourarms, a giant humanoid alien with four arms (duh!) and super strength. He holds onto his broom with his lower arms, freeing his upper arms to reach the Snitch with. And sure enough, in a matter of a few seconds...**

Michaels: And Ben Tennyson has the Golden Snitch! He transforms back to his human self, and the Kansas City Inferi have won, 180-10!

Ben: YES! We did it, goddammit! We won!

Rook: Great hero work out there, partner!

Julie: I'll say! (kisses Ben on lips)

Ben: (blushes) Oh, you!

**Ben Tennyson catches the Golden Snitch, and the Kansas City Inferi defeat the Toulouse Sphinxes, 180-10. As Ben turns back into his human self, the rest of the team celebrates like crazy around him. Julie Yamamoto even gives him a victory kiss on the lips. Meanwhile, the disgruntled Sphinxes fans leave the premises, and their team heads back to the locker room, while William Dunbar goes to the hospital wing to have his injuries treated.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Charlotte Hallows - 170; Atlanta Owls - 40**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 150; Detroit Unicorns - 0**

**Dallas Hippogriffs - 160; Toronto Salamanders - 10**

**Denver Dementors - 150; San Antonio Centaurs - 50**

**Houston Horcruxes - 10; Birmingham War Pigs - 210**

**Indiana Slughorns - 40; Oklahoma Orcs - 160**

**Kyoto Kappa - 50; Tokyo Tengu - 180**

**Las Vegas Night Elves - 180; Arizona Phoenixes - 90**

**London Chimeras - 190; Paris Veela - 90**

**Milan Witchhunters - 0; Columbus Pixies - 200**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 30; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 230**

**Montreal Manticores - 60; Philadelphia Thestrals - 180**

**Nashville Basilisks - 20; Louisville Phantoms - 220**

**New England Griffins - 200; Richmond Werewolves - 30**

**Osaka Oni - 90; Mexico City Chupacabras - 160**

**Portland Parselmouths - 190; New York Dragons - 10**

**Rome Fairies - 50; San Francisco Seers - 200**

**Seattle Vampires - 70; Los Angeles Undead - 220**

**Tampa Bay Trolls - 180; New Orleans Dark Mark - 90**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 80; St. Louis Serpents - 180**

**Washington Ministry - 210; Miami Goblins - 20**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (4-1)**

** Washington Ministry (3-2)**

** Miami Goblins (2-3)**

** Richmond Werewolves (2-3)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (4-1)**

** Columbus Pixies (3-2)**

** New York Dragons (2-3)**

** Indiana Slughorns (1-4)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (5-0)**

** Louisville Phantoms (2-3)**

** Nashville Basilisks (2-3)**

** Houston Horcurxes (1-4)**

** West Division**

** Seattle Vampires (3-2)**

** Denver Dementors (2-3)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (2-3)**

** Los Angeles Undead (1-4)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (4-1)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (3-2)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-3)**

** St. Louis Serpents (2-3)**

** North Division**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-1)**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (3-2)**

** Kansas City Inferi (2-3)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-5)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (5-0)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (4-1)**

** Charlotte Hallows (2-3)**

** Atlanta Owls (1-4)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (5-0)**

** San Francisco Seers (3-2)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (2-3)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (2-3)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (3-2)**

** Rome Fairies (3-2)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (2-3)**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-4)**

** Paris Veela (1-4)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (4-1)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (3-2)**

** Kyoto Kappa (2-3)**

** Osaka Oni (2-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (2-3)**

** Montreal Manticores (1-4)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (1-4)**

Michaels: Well! I don't know which game was more insane; this one, or the game last week! Either way, it's been awesome to watch. This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger wishing you all a great week, and we'll see you back in the States next Sunday!


	18. Week 6 Prologue

** Week 6 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs New York Dragons**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Rome Fairies**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs New England Griffins**

**Miami Goblins vs Atlanta Owls**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Montreal Manticores**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Denver Dementors**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Paris Veela**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Columbus Pixies**

**Portland Parselmouths vs San Francisco Seers**

**Seattle Vampires vs Washington Ministry**

**St. Louis Serpents vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Tokyo Tengu vs London Chimeras**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Osaka Oni**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Toulouse Sphinxes  
**

** Game of the Week; Charlotte Hallows vs Birmingham War Pigs.**

** See you in Birmingham!**


	19. Week 6 Charlotte vs Birmingham

** Week 6 Game of the Week; Charlotte Hallows vs Birmingham War Pigs.**

** Team rosters;**

**Charlotte Hallows**

** Chaser: Phineas Flynn [C] (#43)**

** Chaser: Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

** Chaser: Isabella Garcia-Shapiro (#34)**

** Beater: Buford Van Stomm (#14)**

** Beater: Baljeet Patel (#41)**

** Keeper: Candace Flynn (#11)**

** Seeker: Perry The Platypus (#16)**

** Coach: Major Monogram**

**Birmingham War Pigs**

** Chaser: Skwisgaar Skwigelf (#69)**

** Chaser: Toki Wartooth (#96)**

** Chaser: Dr. Rockzo (#42)**

** Beater: Nathan Explosion [C] (#66)**

** Beater: William Murderface (#47)**

** Keeper: Dick Knubbler (#78)**

** Seeker: Pickles (#5)**

** Coach: Charles Foster Offdensen**

** Let's turn things over to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Last week's game was yet another insane affair! Alien transformations, slug-vomiting spells, and more! This week is our first in several in which both teams are American; we're coming at you live from Birmingham, Alabama for Week 6 of the Cartoon Quidditch regular season. This Game of the Week features the Birmingham War Pigs hosting the Charlotte Hallows! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels, alongside John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Harry: (singing) Generals gathered in their masses. Just like witches in black masses. Evil minds that plot destruction. Sorcerer of death's construction. In the fields are bodies burning. As the war machine keeps turning. Death and hatred to mankind. Poisoning their brainwashed minds. Oh lord yeah!

Ron: Bloody hell, I love that song!

Madden: And Birmingham is one of three remaining undefeated teams, along with Portland and Tampa Bay. Charlotte, on ther other hand, is 2-3, and well behind Tampa Bay and New Orleans in the National South. So for them, this is a must-win, but like I said, they're up against one of the top teams in league, so they really have their work cut out for them.

Hermione: Well, I'm just glad no one has any crazy powers or weapons; maybe this game will be cleaner than some others we've seen.

Michaels: I wouldn't count on it...

**As the teams get in their positions, there is some bickering between them;**

Buford: (scoff) Get a load of these douchebags! (to Nathan) Hey Tonto! What kind of music do you play?

Nathan: Death metal!

Phineas: Uh, Buford, let's not mess with these guys. They're a top team.

Buford: Whatever, we'll get it this time. Right, guys?

Ferb: Yes. Yes, we will!

**The Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are let loose from their containers, and they go their respective ways.**

** Shortly thereafter, the Quaffle is taken in the hands of the referee, and then tossed skyward.**

Michaels: Here we go, it's on in Birmingham!

**When the Quaffle hits mid-air, Toki Wartooth is the first to get his hands on it for Birmingham. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro comes up empty in her attempt to take it from him. Toki then passes it to Skwisgaar Skwigelf as he dodges an incoming Bludger.**

** Skwisgaar then attempts to pass the Quaffle back to Toki, but Phineas Flynn intercepts it.**

Skwisgaar: Oh, that ams dildos!

Phineas: (shrug)

**William Murderface hits a Bludger at Phineas, but it misses. Skwisgaar Skwigelf tries to take the Quaffle back, but fails. Then, just as Phineas is about to enter the scoring area, Dr. Rockzo comes out of nowhere and snatches the Quaffle away.**

** Rockzo then flies toward the Charlotte goal. Ferb Fletcher makes a run at the Quaffle and Baljeet Patel hits a Bludger at him, but both miss. And so Rockzo is able to make it up to the Charlotte goal;**

Rockzo: I DO COCAINE, BITCH!

...

Michaels: Dr. Rockzo SCORES! 10 points to Birmingham!

Rockzo: COCAINE!

Candace: Ugh! That clown is so busted!

Madden: Rockzo got damn lucky here. He shot right where Candace was hovering, but it just slipped past and he scored anyway. She looked like she was under the influence of a Confundus Charm, or something.

Hermione: That's impossible. None of these guys have any magical powers!

**Dr. Rockzo puts the Birmingham War Pigs up 10-0. Candace Flynn then throws the Quaffle back into play; Ferb Fletcher catches it.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Detroit, Michigan, where the Detroit Unicorns (the only team in the league that's still winless) are hosting the Louisville Phantoms. The game is still scoreless. Twilight Sparkle, Keeper for Detroit, is at her team's goal, defending the goal, when Danny Phantom goes ghost and possesses Twilight's body, taking complete control of her. Sam Manson has the Quaffle for Louisville; when she gets to the goal, Twilight, under Danny's control, moves away from the goal, allowing Sam to score a free goal, getting Louisville their first goal of the game. The rest of the Detroit Unicorns are astounded;**_

_Rainbow Dash: What the hell was that?_

_Applejack: You just let those faggots get a free frickin' goal, what the fuck!_

_Twilight: I... I don't know..._

**BACK TO BIRMINGHAM**

Michaels: Ferb Fletcher SCORES! We're now tied at 10!

Phineas: Great goal, Ferb! (high-five)

Nathan: Hey, what the hell, Dick! You're better than that!

Dick: (sigh) I know.

Madden: Dick Knubbler wasn't fast enough on this one. He was at the center goal, but Ferb shot to the left goal, and Knubbler just couldn't make it in time.

Ron: I've said before; Keepers need to be quick and agile; he certainly wasn't either of those things there!

Harry: Yeah, they'd better hope their Seeker is much better...

**Ferb Fletcher scores a goal to tie the game at 10. Dick Knubbler retrieves the Quaffle and throws it back into play.**

** Dr Rockzo catches the Quaffle, but he has to pass it away to Toki as he dodges a Bludger. The Bludger goes to William Murderface, who beats it in the direction of the stands...**

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle!

Madden: I... did see a Bludger head towards the stands-

Hermione: Bumphing on Birmingham!

**The Bludger heads towards the crowd, causing fans to scatter. As this occurs, the penalty whistle is sounded. The action stops as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Bumphing. Birmingham, #47. Penalty shot for Charlotte!

Murderface: That is BULLSHIT!

**William Murderface is slapped with a Bumphing call, resulting in a penalty shot for Charlotte. Phineas Flynn volunteers to take the shot - Dick Knubbler will attempt to defend;**

Dick: Hey, aren't you a little young to be playing Quidditch?

Phineas: Uh, not really. There are a lot of kids in Quidditch. Whatever, I'm gonna shoot now.

...

Michaels: SCORE! Charlotte takes the lead!

Phineas: Oh, YEAH!

Murderface: Goddammit, stop being such a dick, Dick!

Dick: YOU'RE the one who got us the penalty!

**Phineas Flynn scores on the penalty shot, and the Charlotte Hallows take the lead, 20-10. Once again, Dick Knubbler throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is caught by Skwisgaar Skwigelf.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Well, it looks like Pickles is after the Snitch for Birmingham, but... why is he flying like that?

Madden: He's swerving around, left and right, up and down; it certainly won't help him catch the Snitch. Hell, he looks as if he flying under the influence!

Hermione: You're barking! No one would drink before a Quidditch game... would they?

**Pickles is now attempting to catch the Golden Snitch for the Birmingham War Pigs, but he's having a hard time controlling his broom. As it so happens, being the alcoholic that he is, he'd had six 20 oz bottles of beer before the game, and the resulting inebriation is impairing his ability to fly properly. While he's still able to go after the Snitch, he sweves around, left and right, up and down, which certainly is not helping him gain any ground on the Snitch...**

** In the meantime, Toki Wartooth has the Quaffle for the War Pigs. Nathan Explosion whacks away a Bludger that's headed for him as he flies toward the Charlotte goal. He makes it to the scoring area before Isabella Garcia-Shapiro can reach him, and he shoots;**

Michaels: And Toki Wartooth SCORES! He ties the game at 20!

Toki: Oh, wowee! I scored!

Skwisgaar: I guess yous not so bads of a players after alls.

Candace: I am gonna bust these fags for sure!

**Toki Wartooth scores a goal to tie the game. Candace Flynn then throws the Quaffle back into play; Phineas Flynn retrieves it, but then his mind is interrupted by something;**

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

...

Michaels: Look out; the platypus is after the Snitch!

Ron: I don't know what's weirder; this platypus or that snail that plays for the Chicago Fire Crabs!

Harry: Well, rumor is this platypus has secret agent experience, and he certainly doesn't appear to be under the influence...

**Perry the Platypus now starts out after the Golden Snitch. He's easily able to fly right by the drunken Pickles. The Snitch, however, is a different story. While he is able to keep up with it, it's small size is making it a tough catch...**

** Skwisgaar Skwigelf, meanwhile, has the Quaffle for Birmingham. Both Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher are after him, but neither can make a grab at the Quaffle. Skwisgaar takes it to the Charlotte goal and shoots;**

Michaels: Skwisgaar scores, and the War Pigs are leading once again!

Skwisgaar: YES! You dildos can't stops us nows!

Candace: (facepalm)

**Skwisgaar Skwigelf puts the War Pigs back in the lead, 30-20.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, where the New England Griffins are hosting the Mexico City Chupacabras. The score is 50-0, New England. Manny Rivera is going after the Golden Snitch for the Chupacabras, in an effort to save the game for his team, when suddenly, laser blasts come at him from behind; it's Stewie Griffin, Seeker for the Griffins, who's firing the shots.**_

_Stewie: Victory shall be mine!_

_**After several shots, Stewie hits Manny in the back; the resulting pain causes him to back off. Shortly after that, Stewie catches the Snitch, and the New England Griffins win, 200-0.**_

**BACK TO BIRMINGHAM**

** After Skwisgaar's goal, Candace Flynn throws the Quaffle to Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. Buford Van Stomm beats away a Bludger that's headed for her. Then, Dr. Rockzo appears;**

Rockzo: Hey, little girl! How'd you like to get down with the clown?

...

Michaels: Uh, is it me, or did Dr. Rockzo just expose his genitals at Isabella?

Hermione: Somebody hit him in the face with a Bludger!

Ron: (chuckles)

**Rockzo exposes his genitals to Isabella;**

Isabella: (to Baljeet) Give me that!

**Isabella takes Baljeet Patel's Bludger Bat. She hits an incoming Bludger towards Dr. Rockzo;**

Madden: CROTCH SHOT!

Michaels: And Isabella's just hit Dr. Rockzo in the balls with that Bludger!

Harry: Well, it wasn't a head shot, but still.

Hermione: (snickering)

**The Bludger hits Dr. Rockzo in the crotch; it doesn't knock him off his broom, but he does double over, clutching his balls and crying in pain.**

** While he does that, Isabella takes the Quaffle to the Birmingham goal and shoots;**

Michaels: SCORE! Tie game once again!

Isabella: Hell yeah! That'll show 'em!

Skwisgaar: Dick, you dildos! You can't evens defends the goal!

Nathan: Yeah, that is so not metal!

Dick: (sigh)

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro scores to tie the game at 30.**

** While that goes on, Perry the Platypus and Pickles are still chasing after the Snitch. Pickles, however, isn't keeping up very well, due to his intoxicated state. Being extremely drunk, he continues to swerve in multiple directions, until...**

All: OH!

Michaels: Pickles has just flown head-on into the crowd! Unbelievable!

Madden: Huh, I guess he was flying under the influence.

Hermione: Seriously, why would ANYONE drink before a Quidditch game?

**Pickles is so drunk that he eventually winds up crashing into the stands. The spectators scatter as he hits hard in the seats, snapping his broomstick in two. Pickles lies where he wrecked, vomits, and then passes out.**

** Shortly thereafter;**

Michaels: The platypus has the Snitch! The platypus has the Snitch!

Phineas: THERE you are, Perry! And you got the Snitch! We've won!

Perry: (chatter)

Ron: I thought platypuses didn't do much.

Madden: Not this one!

**Perry the Platypus catches the Golden Snitch; the Charlotte Hallows win 180-30, and the Birmingham War Pigs are no longer undefeated. As the shamed Birmingham home crowd leaves the stadium and the Hallows celebrate the win, the War Pigs confront their Seeker;**

Nathan: What the fuck were you thinking?

Pickles: (slurring) I... I would've caught the Snitch... but... I'm just too drunk right now.

Charles: We can see that. Why the hell would you even think of drinking before a Quidditch game?

Pickles: (slurring) Too drunk. Too drunk. (passes out)

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes - 170; New York Dragons - 30**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 150; Tampa Bay Trolls - 90**

**Dallas Hippogriffs - 10; Richmond Werewolves - 190**

**Indiana Slughorns - 80; Houston Horcruxes - 160**

**Kansas City Inferi - 220; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 60**

**Kyoto Kappa - 180; Rome Fairies - 50**

**Los Angeles Undead - 230; Nashville Basilisks - 40**

**Louisville Phantoms - 210; Detroit Unicorns - 20**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 0; New England Griffins - 200**

**Miami Goblins - 50; Atlanta Owls - 190**

**Milan Witchhunters - 60 Montreal Manticores - 170**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 40; Denver Dementors - 200**

**New Orleans Dark Mark - 80; Paris Veela - 190**

**Oklahoma Orcs - 20; Las Vegas Night Elves - 150**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 30; Columbus Pixies - 240**

**Portland Parselmouths - 180; San Francisco Seers - 70**

**Seattle Vampires - 160; Washington Ministry - 70**

**St. Louis Serpents -180; San Antonio Centaurs - 90**

**Tokyo Tengu - 60; London Chimeras - 170**

**Toronto Salamanders - 150; Osaka Oni - 100**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 10; Toulouse Sphinxes - 220**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (5-1)**

** Washington Ministry (3-3)**

** Miami Goblins (2-4)**

** Richmond Werewolves (2-4)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (4-2)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (4-2)**

** New York Dragons (2-4)**

** Indiana Slughorns (1-5)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (5-1)**

** Louisville Phantoms (3-3)**

** Houston Horcurxes (2-4)**

** Nashville Basilisks (2-4)**

** West Division**

** Seattle Vampires (4-2)**

** Denver Dementors (3-3)**

** Los Angeles Undead (2-4)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (2-4)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (4-2)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (3-3)**

** St. Louis Serpents (3-3)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-4)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (4-2)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-2)**

** Kansas City Inferi (3-3)**

** Detroit Unicorns (0-6)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (5-1)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (4-2)**

** Charlotte Hallows (3-3)**

** Atlanta Owls (2-4)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (6-0)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (3-3)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (3-3)**

** San Francisco Seers (3-3)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (4-2)**

** Rome Fairies (3-3)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (3-3)**

** Paris Veela (2-4)**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-5)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (4-2)**

** Kyoto Kappa (3-3)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (3-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (3-3)**

** Montreal Manticores (2-4)**

** Osaka Oni (2-4)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (1-5)**

Michaels: Not only are the Birmingham War Pigs no longer undefeated, but the Tampa Bay Trolls also lost to the Chicago Fire Crabs, meaning we have only one undefeated team left; the Portland Parselmouths! Also, the Detroit Unicorns are still winless at 0-6. Anyways, this is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying... join us next week!


	20. Sabotage

Before we get to Week 7, there is a side story that needs to be told. It takes place in Chicago, Illinois, on a Saturday night; the night before the Week 7 games are to be held.

It's set in a nightclub in the heart of the city. In the club are Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa Simpson, Milhouse Van Houten, Nelson Muntz and Moe Szyzlak, all of whom play for the Portland Parselmouths. They're here because they have a game to play here tomorrow, versus the Chicago Fire Crabs. They enter the club with huge smiles on their faces, and rightfully so; having defeated the San Francisco Seers in Week 6, along with the Birmingham War Pigs and Tampa Bay Trolls having lost to the Charlotte Hallows and Chicago Fire Crabs, respectively, the Portland Parselmouths are the only undefeated team left in the World League of Cartoon Quidditch.

Despite their pleasant mood and uplifting demeanors, the other people in the club are much more uneasy around them. All of them are avid and passionate Fire Crabs fans, and none of whom have any degree of comfort with the opposing team mingling in their midst.

"Gee, I thought nightclubs were more friendly than this," notes Marge.

"It's just like when we were in Miami," explains Lisa. "We're the opposing team. No one here wants to mingle with the folks who are going to beat the Fire Crabs tomorrow."

"Well, at least they got beer," Homer says with a tint of hope in his voice. "I'm gonna go get some."

"I'm comin' too, Homer." says Moe. He and Homer find their way to the bar. The bartender turns to them and Homer proclaims, "Two large Duff beers on me!"

But the bartender doesn't pour any drinks. He looks at them very sternly, arms folded, saying, "We don't serve the opposing team!"

Marge sees this and comes to Homer's defense. "Hey, these boys are paying customers, and you will serve them accordingly!"

"And if I don't?" says the bartender.

Marge then draws a can of pepper spray and points it at the bartender, adding, "And I'll have a bowl of pretzels!" The bartender says, "Alright, alright, you win!" as he pours beers for Homer and Moe and serves pretzels to Marge.

"Hey thanks, Marge," Homer says as he gets his beer.

"Anything for you, Homey," Marge says as she kisses Homer on the cheek.

As Homer, Moe and Marge enjoy their beer and pretzels, Bart, Lisa, Milhouse and Nelson are hanging around by the dancefloor. The DJ is "in-between" songs at this point. Milhouse, who sees an opportunity, turns and says, "Hey, Lisa! Wanna dance with me?"

"Or me?" adds Nelson.

Lisa looks at Milhouse and Nelson, noting the suggestive tones of their voices, as well as the aroused looks on their faces, and is not seduced. "Oh, screw you both! I'd rather dance with my big bro!" she says as she gives Bart a playful noogie. A split-second later, the dancefloor comes alive with multi-colored lights, and rave music begins to play. Eagerly, Bart and Lisa run onto the floor and start to dance wildly, flailing their arms and legs and laughing with glee, standing out from all the other people who are grinding against each other.

And Nelson, with nothing better to do, promptly gives Milhouse a wedgie, with a half-hearted "Ha ha!"

...

Meanwhile, mischief is at work at the Quidditch pitch. The only characters there are Plankton, coach of the Chicago Fire Crabs, and his computer wife, Karen. Plankton has, as of late, been working on new technology with which to sabotage opposing teams. Development on this technology is now, in Plankton's eyes, ready to be put into action. He's decided that this game would be an ideal time to do so; since Portland is undefeated, maybe, he thinks, he can use this technology to steal the game and do away with the Parselmouths' undefeated record.

"With these remote control transmitters," says Plankton, "I'll be able to control any thing I connect them to! We'll put these things in their brooms, maybe even in the Bludgers, and they'll all be at my bidding. And the Portland Parselmouths shall be undefeated no more!" He follows up with an evil laugh.

Karen yawns as she nonchalantly replies, "You know I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for the team."

"I know, and I appreciate it," Plankton says.

"Whatever," Karen scoffs as she gives Plankton the equipment; nine transmitters, seven for the opposing brooms, two for the Bludgers, if possible.

After finding his way, Plankton, transmitters in hand, sneaks into the visiting teams' locker room, which of course, will be used by the Portland Parselmouths for this coming game week. Plankton sniffs around and discovers a closet. He flings open the door, and finds that is is indeed the broom closet; here sits the seven brooms that the Parselmouths fly on in their games.

Bearing a wicked smile, Plankton takes out his transmitters; each one is equipped with an adhesive surface designed to stick to wood. He takes one and sneaks into the tail end of one broom, which happens to be Homer's. Grinning, Plankton inserts the transmitter onto the butt end of the broom, where it attachs successfully, hidden in the brushes.

"Excellent!" proclaims Plankton. "Now I'll have total control of their brooms, and I can make them go wherever the hell I want, HA HA!

He slips back under the door and out of the locker room, with his other two tramsmitters in hand. He meanders throughout the hallways of the stadium, searching, and searching, and still searching, until he finally encounters the door to the storage room.

Again with a sinister smile, Plankton slips under the door to the storage room. He forages around throughout the room until he encounters a chest. It takes some effort, but he manages to open the chest; inside are the Quaffle, two Bludgers, and Golden Snitch that are to be used for tomorrow's game.

"Jackpot!" Plankton cries out. As the Bludgers writhe around in their chains, struggling to break free without avail, he sticks the transmitters onto them without much difficulty.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha!" Plankton laughs as he slips under the door and out of the storage room. Before long, he finds Karen, who's standing there apathetically. "I've done it!" he says excitedly. "I've put the transmitters on all the brooms and Bludgers, so they'll all be under MY control! We're gonna slaughter the Parselmouths tomorrow! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" After his evil laugh, Plankton pauses and asks Karen, "You do have the remote controls for them all, right?"

"Got 'em right here," Karen says half-heartedly as she opens her cargo compartment, revealing nine remote controls, one for each transmitter. As she closes her cargo compartment, she sighs and says, "Can we go back to the hotel now?"

"Meh. We've accomplished our mission," Plankton answers.

And with that, Plankton and Karen return to the team's hotel room, to rest up for the game tomorrow, the game in which Plankton's instruments of sabotage will be put into action...


	21. Week 7 Prologue

** Week 7 match-ups;**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Columbus Pixies vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Seattle Vampires**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Atlanta Owls**

**Indiana Slughorns vs New York Dragons**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Denver Dementors**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs London Chimeras**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Miami Goblins**

**Montreal Manticores vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**New England Griffins vs Toronto Salamanders**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Paris Veela vs Washington Ministry**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Osaka Oni**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Rome Fairies vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**San Francisco Seers vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Louisville Phantoms**

** Game of the Week; San Antonio Centaurs vs Dallas Hippogriffs.**

** See you in Dallas!**


	22. Week 7 San Antonio vs Dallas

** Week 7 Game of the Week; San Antonio Centaurs vs Dallas Hippogriffs.**

**San Antonio Centaurs**

** Chaser: Hank Venture [C] (#30)**

** Chaser: H.E.L.P.E.R. (#64)**

** Chaser: Triana Orpheus (#35)**

** Beater: Brock Samson (#31)**

** Beater: Sergeant Hatred (#27)**

** Keeper: Byron Orpheus (#17)**

** Seeker: Dean Venture (#26)**

** Coach: Thaddeus Venture**

**Dallas Hippogriffs**

** Chaser: Bill Dauterive (#49)**

** Chaser: Dale Gribble (#50)**

** Chaser: Jeff Boomhauer (#73)**

** Beater: Hank Hill [C] (#98)**

** Beater: Peggy Hill (#89)**

** Keeper: Luanne Platter (#40)**

** Seeker: Bobby Hill (#13)**

** Coach: Buck Strickland**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Last week, we witnessed the Birmingham War Pigs' undefeated streak come to a bitter end. With Tampa Bay losing to Chicago, that leaves the Portland Parselmouths as the only remaining undefeated team in the league. Unfortunately, we won't be covering them this week. Instead, we're airing live from the city of Dallas, for a good ol' Quidditch style Texas rodeo, as the Dallas Hippogriffs get set to host the San Antonio Centaurs! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger, thanks for having us for the game.

Madden: You know, speaking of Texas, the Hippogriffs sure seem like they fit right in. All of them are a bunch of white-trash rednecks, one of whom is a hardcore full-fledged libertarian. But they've been really good nonetheless; they're 4-2, and they're leading in the National East.

Harry: Yeah, but then we have the Centaurs. Their roster consists of a scientist family, two military men, two necromancers and a robot! They may have some nasty surprises in store, here!

Hermione: I just hope none of those surprises are too nasty, especially after what we've seen.

Ron: Well I, on the other hand, love every minute of it! I wanna see some magic!

Michaels: We may very well see that, as we're just about ready to go...

**As the two teams get set up;**

Bobby: Uh, Dad? Who exactly are these creeps?

Hank H.: Don't matter. They may look a little dang weird, but we're gonna kick their asses! Just like all those other teams' asses we kicked!

Bobby: All right, then! Thanks, Dad!

**Once both teams are fully in position, the referee lets the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch go their respective ways. Then, the referee takes the Quaffle, walks to the center of the pitch, and promptly tosses it high in the air.**

Michaels: There's the Quaffle; it's on in Dallas, Texas!

**After a brief scramble, Hank Venture comes up with the Quaffle for the San Antonio Centaurs. Dale Gribble makes a go at him to try and steal it, but Hank passes it to Triana Orpheus before he can get to him. Brock Samson knocks away a Bludger as Triana makes it to the Dallas goal and shoots;**

Michaels: Triana Orpheus SCORES! 10 points to the Centaurs!

Triana: Huh, whaddaya know? We scored.

Madden: Triana Orpheus was just too fast for Luanne Platter here. Watch; she shoots the Quaffle with such force that it just slips right by Luanne's hands. Great job by Orpheus with that goal.

**Triana Orpheus scores to put the Centaurs on the board 10-0. Luanne Platter then throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** Jeff Boomhauer catches it for the Dallas Hippogriffs. Sergeant Hatred hits a Bludger in his direction, but it misses. H.E.L. . tries to dislodge the Quaffle from Boomhauer's arm, but comes up empty. Hank Hill whacks away a Bludger as Boomhauer charges toward the San Antonio goal. He enters the scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: SAVED by Byron Orpheus!

Boomhauer: Damn, that dang-old Quaffle didn't go through them dang-old hoop, dang it!

Byron: Quite a lackluster effort on your part, yes.

Harry: Well, he is one of the necromancers on the team; I really can't believe he didn't use any magic there.

Hermione: He better not!

Ron: (shakes head)

**Byron Orpheus blocks the Quaffle from going through the hoop and then passes it to his daughter Triana.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Chicago, Illinois, where the Chicago Fire Crabs are hosting the Portland Parselmouths. The score is 10-0, Chicago. Lisa Simpson has the Quaffle for the Parselmouths. Plankton, coach of the Fire Crabs, suddenly takes up one of the remote controls for the transmitters he installed on the Parselmouths' brooms and the Bludgers. Once he starts toying with it, a Bludger that is aiming for Pearl Krabs changes course, heading directly for Lisa, and hitting her in the head, making her drop the Quaffle.**_

_Marge/Bart: __(gasp) LISA!_

_Plankton: (maniacal laughter)_

_**As Marge and Bart Simpson fly down to check on Lisa, Sandy Cheeks takes the Quaffle and quickly scores, putting Chicago up 20-0.**_

**BACK TO DALLAS**

Triana: Come back here, you!

BIll: You snooze, you lose, sucker!

**Bill Dauterive snatches the Quaffle away from Triana Orpheus before she has the chance to make another goal. Both Hank Venture and H.E.L. . try to take it back for San Antonio, but they both fail.**

** Meanwhile, Triana is still chasing after Bill, but is not close enough to stop him. Then, just as Bill is about to enter the San Antonio scoring area, Triana takes an extreme measure;**

Triana: Oppugno!

...

Strickland: TIMEOUT!

Michaels: Bill Dauterive's just been hit in the head with a Bludger, and Dallas calls time out!

Madden: That Bludger was headed for Dean Venture, but it just suddenly turned away and went right for Bill.

Ron: You know, I thought Triana Orpheus looked like she was up to something...

Hermione: Dammit, she was using an Oppugno Jinx!

Harry: Yeah, I once had someone, who shall remain nameless, use an Oppugno Jinx to make a Bludger chase after me; it wasn't fun.

Hermione: I hate it when these characters pull this sort of crap!

**Triana Orpheus uses an Oppugno Jinx to get a nearby Bludger to attack Bill Dauterive; it hits him in the head and knocks him off his broom. Buck Strickland, coach of the Dallas Hippogriffs, calls timeout. The rest of the team converges toward Bill as he gets up and remounts on his broom.**

Bill: I'm okay, I'm okay. Don't worry about it.

Strickland: Yes, well, listen, guys. These Centaurs appear to be using some very dirty tricks. Who knows what sort of crazy magic spells they'll unleash as this game goes on. Just try and avoid them if you can, get some goals, and catch that Snitch!

**After that, the team gets back in the air, and the game resumes.**

** The Quaffle is tossed back up by the referee; Dale Gribble comes up with it. But before long, the robot ****H.E.L.P.E.R.** comes out of nowhere and steals it.

Dale: Hey, what the-

**Peggy Hill hits a Bludger at ****H.E.L.P.E.R**. ; it misses by less than an inch. Neither Dale, Bill or Boomhauer are able to get to H.E.L. . as he reaches the Dallas goal;

Michaels: The robot SCORES! Another 10 points to San Antonio!

Hank V.: Yay, you did it, buddy!

H.E.L.P.E.R.: (happy beeping)

Luanne: Ugh!

Hank H. Dang it, how are they getting away with this BS?

Dale: It's a conspiracy, Hank! Those wizarding supremacists are using them to try and wipe out us Muggles!

Hank H.: Dale, shut the hell up!

******H.E.L.P.E.R.** scores, and the Centaurs go up 20-0.

** Shortly thereafter;**

Michaels: And Dallas may have the break they're looking for, as Bobby Hill has gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Well, you know, catching the Snitch doesn't carry a win; if you're behind by over 150 points, then you're pretty much screwed.

Ron: He'd better catch it bloody quick, then. San Antonio looks pretty unstoppable right now.

**Bobby Hill chases after the Golden Snitch for the Dallas Hippogriffs. While he's at it, Hank Venture scores a goal, and San Antonio goes up 30-0.**

** The Snitch is very energetic; given the fact Bobby is noticeably overweight, this doesn't help him much. It pulls away from him some as he has a hard time staying on it.**

** It only becomes more difficult when;**

Michaels: Uh oh! Dean Venture's now after the Snitch!

Harry: Yeah, you know what? This game's really looking like it's gonna be a total blowout, maybe even a shutout!

Hermione: Just as long as we don't see any more Dark Magic!

Ron: (sigh) You're incredible, you know that?

**Suddenly, Dean Venture appears alongside Bobby Hill, and the two begin jockeying for position. As they do this, Dean starts to make use of his elbows;**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle!

Madden: Yeah, Dean Venture's elbows were starting to come into play there...

Hermione: Cobbing! On San Antonio!

**Just as Dean Venture starts lashing out with his elbows, the penalty whistle sounds. The action stops as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Cobbing! San Antonio, #26! Penalty shot for Dallas!

Dean: Oh, come on! You gotta be kidding me!

**Dean Venture is slapped with a Cobbing call, so Dallas gets a penalty shot, which Dale Gribble will take. Byron Orpheus will defend. Dale shoots...**

Byron: Protego!

...

All: WHOA!

Hermione: He just saved the shot with the Shield Charm! Don't get me wrong, I still don't approve, but still, it's very ingenious!

Madden: It certainly doesn't look like Dallas will have much of a chance now.

**Byron Orpheus uses a Shield Charm to put a shield in front of the hoop Dale Gribble shoots at; the Quaffle bounces right off the shield and back into play, and Triana Orpheus catches it.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us back to the Portland/Chicago game. The score is 40-0, Chicago. Both Milhouse Van Houten and Spongebob SquarePants are chasing after the Snitch; Spongebob is a ways behind and Milhouse is right on the Snitch. Seeing the direness of the situation, Plankton breaks out one of his remote controls and starts to toy with it. In no time, Milhouse's broom begins to involuntarily break his course and jerk itself around, as if it were a bucking bull. In a short time, Milhouse is indeed hurled off his broom.**_

_Bart: MILHOUSE!_

_**Shortly after that, Spongebob is able to catch up to the Snitch and catch it. The Chicago Fire Crabs win 190-0, putting an end to the Portland Parselmouths' undefeated streak.**_

**BACK TO DALLAS**

Michaels: Triana Orpheus SCORES! 40-0, Centaurs!

**Triana Orpheus puts San Antonio further ahead to 40-0.**

** Meanwhile, Bobby Hill is once again after the Golden Snitch; Dean Venture still hasn't caught back on, so, for now, Bobby has a break.**

** But then, Sergeant Hatred, one of the Beaters for the San Antonio Centaurs, comes in to the picture. Without warning, he flies up to Bobby...**

Ron: What the bloody hell is the Sergeant doing?

Madden: Uh... he's grabbing Bobby's crotch!

Michaels: SERGEANT HATRED IS MOLESTING BOBBY HILL!

Bobby: (screaming hysterically)

Hatred: (perverted laughter)

Hermione: EJECT HIM NOW!

...

Harry: Dean Venture has the Snitch!

Michaels: And the Centaurs win, 190-0.

**Sergeant Hatred goes up to Bobby Hill and molests him by grabbing his crotch, thus excaberating his pedophilia, as well as buying time for Dean Venture. Before long, Dean catches the Snitch, and the San Antonio Centaurs beat the Dallas Hippogriffs 190-0.**

** The Centaurs gather around and celebrate. The Hippogriffs dejectedly return to the locker room. And the Dallas home crowd boos the Centaurs relentlessly over the way they won the game.**

**...**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Birmingham War Pigs - 220; St. Louis Serpents - 60**

**Columbus Pixies - 230; Kansas City Inferi - 90**

**Detroit Unicorns - 150; Seattle Vampires - 90**

**Houston Horcruxes - 50; Atlanta Owls - 190**

**Indiana Slughorns - 50; New York Dragons - 200**

**Las Vegas Night Elves - 40; Denver Dementors - 170**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 60; London Chimeras - 180**

**Milan Witchhunters - 20; Oklahoma Orcs - 210**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 20; Miami Goblins - 180**

**Montreal Manticores - 10; Arizona Phoenixes - 220**

**Nashville Basilisks - 180; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 30**

**New England Griffins - 100; Toronto Salamanders - 170**

**New Orleans Dark Mark - 70; Charlotte Hallows - 210**

**Paris Veela - 10; Washington Ministry - 200**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 80; Osaka Oni - 160**

**Portland Parselmouths - 0; Chicago Fire Crabs - 190**

**Richmond Werewolves - 150; Los Angeles Undead - 100**

**Rome Fairies - 170; Tampa Bay Trolls - 50**

**San Francisco Seers - 30; Kyoto Kappa - 160**

**Tokyo Tengu - 240; Vancouver Grindylows - 0**

**Toulouse Sphinxes - 30; Louisville Phantoms - 200**

** League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (5-2)**

** Washington Ministry (4-3)**

** Miami Goblins (3-4)**

** Richmond Werewolves (3-4)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (5-2)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (4-3)**

** New York Dragons (3-4)**

** Indiana Slughorns (1-6)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (6-1)**

** Louisville Phantoms (4-3)**

** Nashville Basilisks (3-4)**

** Houston Horcurxes (2-5)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (4-3)**

** Seattle Vampires (4-3)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (3-4)**

** Los Angeles Undead (2-5)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (4-3)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (4-3)**

** St. Louis Serpents (3-4)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-5)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (5-2)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-3)**

** Kansas City Inferi (3-4)**

** Detroit Unicorns (1-6)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (5-2)**

** Charlotte Hallows (4-3)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (4-3)**

** Atlanta Owls (3-4)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (6-1)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (4-3)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (3-4)**

** San Francisco Seers (3-4)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (5-2)**

** Rome Fairies (4-3)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (3-4)**

** Paris Veela (2-5)**

** Milan Witchhunters (1-6)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (5-2)**

** Kyoto Kappa (4-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (4-3)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (3-4)**

** Osaka Oni (3-4)**

** Montreal Manticores (2-5)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (1-6)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying see you all for Week 8!


	23. Week 8 Prologue

**Week 8 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Columbus Pixies vs Paris Veela**

**Denver Dementors vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Houston Horcruxes vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**London Chimeras vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Montreal Manticores**

**Miami Goblins vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Indiana Slughorns**

**New England Griffins vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Rome Fairies**

**New York Dragons vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Osaka Oni vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Toronto Salamanders**

**San Francisco Seers vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Seattle Vampires**

**Washington Ministry vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Game of the Week; Milan Witchhunters vs Kyoto Kappa**

** See you in Kyoto!**


	24. Week 8 Milan vs Kyoto

** Week 8 Game of the Week; Milan Witchhunters vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Milan Witchhunters**

** Chaser: Irma Lair (#21)**

** Chaser: Taranee Cook (#23)**

** Chaser: Hay Lin (#20)**

** Beater: Cornelia Hale (#11)**

** Beater: Nerissa (#85)**

** Keeper: Lord Cedric (#15)**

** Seeker: Will Vandom [C] (#45)**

** Coach: Prince Phobos**

**Kyoto Kappa**

** Chaser: Joey Wheeler (#33)**

** Chaser: Seto Kaiba (#30)**

** Chaser: Tristan Taylor (#40)**

** Beater: Mokuba Kaiba (#03)**

** Beater: Mai Valentine (#65)**

** Keeper: Tea Gardner (#93)**

** Seeker: Yugi Moto [C] (#56)**

** Coach: Maximillion Pegasus**

** Tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Konichi-wa, Quidditch fans! After 7 weeks of exciting Quidditch action, we're setting up for Week 8 with another tantalizing international match-up! We're coming at you live from the city of Kyoto, in the Land of the Rising Sun, in what should be a great one. Today, the Kyoto Kappa are prepping to square off against the Milan Witchhunters! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels. With me as always - John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: This is quite a conundrum; the Milan Witchhunters have some incredible superpowers - the list of which is so long that I'm not even gonna start! But you'd never know it; they have a 1-6 record, making them one of the four worst teams in the league, alongside the Indiana Slughorns, Detroit Unicorns and Vancouver Grindylows.

Hermione: And the Kyoto Kappa are 4-3. They're tied for 2nd with the Toronto Salamanders in their division, right behind the Tokyo Tengu. Best part is; they don't have any weird powers! Ha!

Ron: Well maybe the Witchhunters don't know how to use their powers properly - stuff can go bloody wrong when you mess up magic spells in our world!

Harry: Honestly, I don't know who to pick. The Kappa are tied for 2nd in their division and the Witchhunters have one of the worst records, despite being one of THE most superpowered teams in the league!

Michaels: Alright, well let's put that aside for a moment; their has been some uneasiness within the Kappa as of late, as there are rumors going around that Seto Kaiba is dating Joey Wheeler-

Ron: Those two are gay?

Michaels: You didn't let me finish; Kaiba is supposedly dating Joey's sister, Serenity Wheeler. Joey's refused to comment on the matter.

Ron: Well, that's kind of how I felt when my sister was dating that douchebag Dean Thomas.

Harry: Yeah, now it's me who bangin' her! (snickers)

Ron: Shut up, Harry!

...

Yugi: Alright, guys; it's time to DUEL!

Mai: Uh, there are 14 players, not 2; it's not really a duel.

Yugi: Well, there are two teams; it still could be considered a duel.

Joey: Whatever, we're gonna win anyways!

Yugi: DAMN RIGHT!

**After the teams are in their positions, the referee turns the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch loose and they fly off.**

** The ref then picks up the Quaffle and tosses it skyward.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the game begins!

**As the Quaffle reaches mid-air, Seto Kaiba is the first to reach it. Just as soon as he gets it;**

Madden: WHOA!

Michaels: Irma Lair just hit Seto Kaiba with a jet of water, he's disoriented, and Hay Lin has the Quaffle for the Witchhunters!

Seto: What the f-

Hermione: Is that even possible? Casting a Water-Conjuring Charm without an incantation OR a wand?

Ron: Not bloody likely.

**Using her hydrokinetic powers, Irma Lair shoots a jet of water right into Seto Kaiba's face, causing him to drop the Quaffle. Hay Lin seizes the chance and the Quaffle for Milan. Neither Joey Wheeler or Tristan Taylor are able to take it away from her...**

** ...but before she can make it to the scoring area, Mokuba Kaiba catches a Bludger and hits it in her direction...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Phobos: TIMEOUT!

MIchaels: Mokuba Kaiba has just hit Hay Lin in the head with a Bludger and the Witchhunters call time out!

Hermione: Wait, but wasn't it Irma who attacked his brother? Isn't that who he should've hit?

Harry: Who cares? He had to hit someone! (laughs)

**Mokuba Kaiba beats a Bludger towards Hay Lin, which hits her in the head. Prince Phobos, coach of the Milan Witchhunters, calls timeout.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Detroit, Michigan, where the Detroit Unicorns are hosting the Osaka Oni. The game is still scoreless. Bulma has the Quaffle for the Osaka Oni. She's about to try and score a goal for them when...**_

_Twilight: Relashio!_

_**Before Bulma can shoot, Twilight Sparkle uses a Revulsion Jinx on Bulma to force her to let go of the Quaffle. Rainbow Dash comes up with it. She dashes to the other side of the pitch and quickly scores a goal, putting the Unicorns up 10-0.**_

__**BACK TO KYOTO**

Hay Lin: (panting) I'm okay. (panting) I'm alright.

Phobos: Well, I don't get why he hit you and not Irma.

Irma: HEY!

Phobos: Well, you were the one who hit his brother! Whatever. Let's get back out there!

**With that, the Milan Witchhunters remount, the timeout is called off, and the game gets back underway.**

** This time, it's Taranee Cook getting the Quaffle for Milan. Mai Valentine tries to hit a Bludger at her, but it misses and almost hits Yugi Moto.**

** Seto Kaiba almost collides with Taranee as she takes the Quaffle to the Kyoto goal.**

Michaels: And she SCORES! 10 points to the Milan Witchhunters!

Tea: Well, dammit!

Taranee: Finally, someone scored! Glad it's us!

Madden: Taranee Cook really is superpowered! Watch; she shoots the Quaffle with such speed and force that Tea Gardner just has no hope of saving it.

**Taranee Cook scores a goal, putting Milan up 10-0.**

** Tea Gardner then throws the Quaffle to Seto Kaiba. Mokuba Kaiba hits a Bludger away from him as he passes it to Tristan Taylor.**

** But then;**

Michaels: What the f-

Madden: Don't look now, but Will Vandom is using what looks like Force Lightning on Tristan Taylor!

Tristan: (screaming)

Hermione: Oh, I can't bear to watch!

Ron: Wait, what do you mean, "Force" Lightning? I'm pretty sure no one here is a Sith Lord.

Harry: Well, Tristan's dropped the Quaffle, and Irma Lair has it!

**As Tristan Taylor carries the Quaffle, Will Vandom shoots streams of lightning from her hands, scoring a direcct hit on Tristan. The lighting inflicts excruciating torture on Tristan; he screams hysterically as the lightning attacks him; it doesn't stop until he drops the Quaffle, which is then picked up by Irma Lair.**

** Irma quickly heads to the Kyoto goal. Tea Gardner, who's hovering behind the hoops, flies to the one Irma is shooting at and sticks her hand through it...**

Michaels: Tea Gardner saves it, but we have a penalty whistle out!

Madden: That was Flacking! You all clearly saw her defending from the back and not the front!

Hermione: Hey, I'm the one who calls the penalties, John!

Harry: Actually, that would be the referee.

Hermione: Whatever!

**A penalty whistle sounds right as the save occurs. The referee's call;**

Referee: Flacking. Kyoto, #93. Penalty shot for Milan!

Tea: You gotta be shittin' me! How else was I gonna save it?

Joey: Well why the hell were you on that side of the hoop, nimrod?

Tea: Ugh!

**Tea Gardner is called for Flacking; Hay Lin volunteers to take the penalty shot - Tea will defend, from the front this time!**

Michaels: Hay Lin scores! 20-0, Milan!

Tea: Goddammit!

Hay Lin: Hey, that's what happens when you commit stupid penalties.

**Hay Lin scores on the penalty shot; Milan pulls to a 20-0 lead.**

** As Joey Wheeler takes the Quaffle...**

Michaels: Well, it looks like Yugi Moto has gone after the Snitch!

Hermione: He damn well better have; the Witchhunters are playing the Kappa like a violin!

Ron: Or an electric guitar. (chuckle)

**Immediately after the gameplay resumes, Yugi Moto sets his sights on the Golden Snitch. Before long, he's right on his tail. He almost catches it, but is forced to check up when Cornelia Hale hits a Bludger at him. He sets back out after the Snitch after this, but has fallen way behind.**

** Meanwhile, Joey Wheeler takes a shot at the Milan goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Lord Cedric!

Joey: You DICK!

Cedric: (shrug) I've been called worse.

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where the Milwaukee Death Eaters are hosting the Philadelphia Thestrals. The score is 60-0, Philadelphia. Pud'n is chasing after the Snitch for Milwaukee, trying to dig his team out of the hole they're in; Wallabee Beetles is trying to stop him. The chase goes right by the Milwaukee goal; Grim points his scythe at them and shoots out a jet of lightning, trying to hit Wally...**_

_Pud'n: (falls off broom screaming)_

_**...but it hits Pud'n instead, knocking him off his broom. Shortly after that, Wally Beetles catches the Snitch. Final score; 210-0, Philadelphia.**_

__**BACK TO KYOTO**

Michaels: Irma scores; 30-0, Witchhunters!

**Irma Lair scores a goal to put the Milan Witchhunters up 30-0.**

** Yugi Moto is still after the Snitch, but then...**

Michaels: Look out, here comes Will Vandom!

Madden: I'm just waiting for the moment she uses Force Lightning on Yugi and ends this for the Kappa.

Ron: It's not the Force, dammit! No one here is a Sith!

Madden: Whatever, same thing!

**As Yugi Moto catches back up to the Golden Snitch, Will Vandom gives Chase. However, she finds herself unable to catch Yugi. So she resorts to drastic measures;**

Madden: Here we go!

Michaels: She's shooting lightning balls at him, none of them are hitting, though.

Harry: Hmmm...

**Will Vandom shoots lightning at Yugi Moto, but misses. Nerissa hits a Bludger at him, but it misses. Then, from out of nowhere...**

All: OH!

Madden: Taranee Cook has just hit Yugi's broom with a ball of fire, the broom's disabled, Yugi's going down!

Yugi: Jesus H. CHRIST!... (crash)

Hermione: How and why?

Ron: Because they bloody can!

**The tail end of Yugi Moto's broom is hit with a ball of fire from Taranee Cook. The broom is rendered unable to maintain altitude; Yugi involuntarily breaks off from the chase for the Snitch and crashes hard into the ground.**

** Then...**

Michaels: It's over! Will Vandom has the Snitch, and the Witchhunters win it!

Will: FUCK yeah! We needed that win!

Madden: A much-needed victory for Milan.

Harry: Seriously, if they used those powers more often, they'd be in much better shape.

Hermione: Maybe, but that still doesn't make it right!

**Will Vandom catches the Golden Snitch, and the Milan Witchhunters win 180-0. The Kyoto home crowd boos them vigorously over the way they treated their team. Meanwhile, the rest of the Kappa converge to check on Yugi;**

Joey: Dude, are you alright!

Yugi: Yeah, I think I'm alright.

Tea: Thank God! I don't know what I'd do if you got badly hurt! (starts to make out with Yugi)

...

Joey: Ugh, get a room!

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls - 90; Oklahoma Orcs - 150**

**Birmingham War Pigs - 50; Portland Parselmouths - 220**

**Columbus Pixies - 100; Paris Veela - 180**

**Denver Dementors - 160; Arizona Phoenixes - 60**

**Houston Horcruxes - 150; San Antonio Centaurs - 70**

**London Chimeras - 40; Chicago Fire Crabs - 190**

**Louisville Phantoms - 80; Kansas City Inferi - 200**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 80; Montreal Manticores - 190**

**Miami Goblins - 190; St. Louis Serpents - 30**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 0; Indiana Slughorns - 150**

**New England Griffins - 160; Las Vegas Night Elves - 0**

**New Orleans Dark Mark - 70; Rome Fairies - 190**

**New York Dragons - 200; Charlotte Hallows - 10**

**Osaka Oni - 240; Detroit Unicorns - 30**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 210; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 0**

**Richmond Werewolves - 10; Toronto Salamanders - 170**

**San Francisco Seers - 30; Los Angeles Undead - 160**

**Tampa Bay Trolls - 210; Nashville Basilisks - 70**

**Toulouse Sphinxes - 200; Tokyo Tengu - 50**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 170; Seattle Vampires - 50**

**Washington Ministry - 230; Dallas Hippogriffs - 20**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (6-2)**

** Washington Ministry (5-3)**

** Miami Goblins (4-4)**

** Richmond Werewolves (3-5)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (5-3)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (5-3)**

** New York Dragons (4-4)**

** Indiana Slughorns (2-6)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (6-2)**

** Louisville Phantoms (4-4)**

** Houston Horcurxes (3-5)**

** Nashville Basilisks (3-5)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (5-3)**

** Seattle Vampires (4-4)**

** Los Angeles Undead (3-5)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (3-5)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Oklahoma Orcs (5-3)**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (4-4)**

** St. Louis Serpents (3-5)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-6)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (5-3)**

** Kansas City Inferi (4-4)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-4)**

** Detroit Unicorns (1-7)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (6-2)**

** Charlotte Hallows (4-4)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (4-4)**

** Atlanta Owls (3-5)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (7-1)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (4-4)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (3-5)**

** San Francisco Seers (3-5)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (5-3)**

** Rome Fairies (4-4)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (4-4)**

** Paris Veela (3-5)**

** Milan Witchhunters (2-6)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (5-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (5-3)**

** Kyoto Kappa (4-4)**

** Osaka Oni (3-4)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (3-5)**

** Montreal Manticores (2-6)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (2-6)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger wishing you a great week to come; we'll see you all back in the States in no time!


	25. Public Humiliation

Side story time!

This one takes place on the Sunday evening right after Week 8, in an upscale hotel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which shall remain nameless. The hotel also has an upscale restaurant; a group of people enter around dinnertime. This group consists of Nigel Uno, Hoagie Gilligan, Kuki Sanban, Wally Beetles, Abigail Lincoln and Rachel McKenzie, all members of the Cartoon Quidditch team known as the Philadelphia Thestrals. Having slaughtered the city's own Milwaukee Death Eaters earlier in the day, they were now in the mood for some gourmet food to cut their immense appetites, as well as to celebrate the win.

They eagerly approach the signs that says, "Please Wait To Be Seated." The host turns around and looks at them. He recognizes them, and grudingly says, "Oh, it's you. Well, come on, now!"

The kids, particularly Nigel, are at first confused by the host's unpleasant demeanor, but they shrug it off and follow the host; he seats them at a table that's right by the doors to the restrooms.

"Really?" questions Hoagie. "Right by the freakin' restrooms? Really?"

The host doesn't answer; rather, he leaves them at the table, yelling back at them, "THESTRALS SUCK!"

"That son of a BITCH!" exclaims Wally as they all sit down.

"Relax, Wally," replies Abby. " The joke's on him; we destroyed his team, remember?"

"Although," explains Nigel, "they did kind of bring it onto themselves. Remember, their Keeper hit their own Seeker with that blast and knocked him off his broom?"

"Yeah," says Wally. He then sighs and says in a more somber tone, "But I don't like it when I win by sheer dumb luck!"

Kuki then puts an arm around Wally and says, "Hey, I still think you were great!" followed by a tender kiss on the cheek. Wally smiles and blushes. A bit later, the waitress approaches them to take their orders for drinks...

Meanwhile, Grim, Billy and Mandy of the Milwaukee Death Eaters, the team the Thestrals shut out 210-0 earlier that day, were also looking for some upscale eating. They're just about to enter when Grim sees something through the glass door leading into the restaurant, and stops dead in his tracks.

"Oh my God, it's them, mon!" he says in shock. "The Thestrals!"

Billy and Mandy look through the entrance and see them, all happily chatting and having their drinks. Their eyes grow wide and they stand there speechless for a moment. Then, Mandy's signature look of malice takes its form as she says, "I think now is the perfect time for some vengeance!"

Grim and Billy listen intently as Mandy intones, "I still remember what they did. I had total control of their organization, I had total control of that Delightful Reaper! I had all that power, and they took it from me. Now, they shall PAY!"

"I thought this was because they beat us in Quidditch," says Billy, confused.

"That too," replies Mandy. "Alright Grim, I have an idea-"

"Hey, I'm the team captain!" Grim interjects. "Why should I have to take orders from you?"

"Because it was YOU who cost us the game today, you dumb fuck!" Mandy shoots back.

This shuts Grim up. He listens without a word as Mandy whispers her idea into his ear...

"You know what, I take back what I said before," Grim says. "I like your plan! I'm doing it!"

Mandy nods her approval and says, "Stand back, Billy!" Grim then teleports into the restaurant, making himself invisible in the process.

Grim silently makes his way over to where the Thestrals are sitting, being careful not to bump into anyone. He observes them for a moment, all happily enjoying their meals and each other. Then he raises his scythe and puts his powers into action...

"WHERE DID MY SHIRT AND BRA GO?" Rachel cries out.

"MINE ARE GONE, TOO!" exclaims Abby.

"MY SHIRT JUST DISAPPEARED!" shouts Kuki.

The magic Grim uses makes all of Rachel, Abby and Kuki's upper body garments vanish into thin air, leaving them all completely topless.

Other people in the restaurant notice and gasp in shock. Nigel, Hoagie and Wally try to help, but Grim interferes;

Snakes suddenly sprout out from Nigel's bald head. They snap at him constantly; they're not venomous, but they're painful! Nigel runs around in a frenzy, screaming "GET OFF! GET 'EM OFF ME!" as they hinder him.

Hoagie, meanwhile, is not sure whether to help Nigel or Abby. But then, Grim's magic levitates him into the air. He quite literally bounces off the walls, ceiling and floors; his fat absorbs the blows, so he's not hurt, but he is highly disoriented.

And as Wally tries to help out Kuki, his hoodie suddenly develops a sentience of its own. The sleeves take complete control of his arms, causing him to punch himself in the face constantly; the hood grows a mouth which taunts him, saying "Stop hitting yourself!" repeatedly.

The other restaurant customers start to scatter. Grim enjoys the mayhem for a while, then reports back to Mandy.

"Excellent!" Mandy proclaims.

"Thanks," says Grim. "Now, if you don't mind, I need a moment." He gets up and leaves and exits the hotel building. Once he's outside, he lets out an extremely loud evil laugh, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" that echoes through the streets and surrounding areas.

Meanwhile, the media has already descended upon the havoc he's caused. Press and paparazzi from ESPN, FSN Wisconsin and the local ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX stations have swarmed the restaurant to snap pictures of this scene. A few focus on Nigel, Hoagie and Wally's mishaps, but the majority of them have surrounded Rachel, Abby and Kuki, all of whom are curled up in the fetal position, trying to hide their chests. Still, the media snaps pics of them relentlessly.

Meanwhile, Mandy enters the room, pretending not to have known about this. She simply looks at the scene for a second with a raised eyebrow. Then she notices the dancefloor; it's been vacated, and the DJ has left the classical music running. "Hey Billy, wanna dance?" she asks.

"Oh, boy!" replies an excited Billy. Quickly, he and Mandy take to the dancefloor, take elegant hold of each other and start to waltz around to the classical music playing, and simply enjoying each other, and their revenge of course.


	26. Week 9 Prologue

** Week 9 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Columbus Pixies vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**London Chimeras vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Denver Dementors**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Montreal Manticores vs Paris Veela**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Houston Horcruxes**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Atlanta Owls**

**New York Dragons vs New England Griffins**

**Osaka Oni vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Miami Goblins**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Washington Ministry**

**Rome Fairies vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Seattle Vampires**

**San Francisco Seers vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Game of the Week; Philadelphia Thestrals vs Miami Goblins.**

** See you in Miami!**


	27. Week 9 Philadelphia vs Miami

** Week 9 Game of the Week; Philadelphia Thestrals vs Miami Goblins.**

** Team rosters;**

**Philadelphia Thestrals**

** Chaser: Kuki Sanban (#3)**

** Chaser: Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

** Chaser: Fanny Fullbright (#86)**

** Beater: Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

** Beater: Cree Lincoln (#11)**

** Keeper: Nigel Uno [C] (#1)**

** Seeker: Wallabee Beetles (#4)**

** Coach: Rachel McKenzie**

**Miami Goblins**

** Chaser: Princess Clara (#14)**

** Chaser: Foxxy Love (#88)**

** Chaser: Xandir (#69)**

** Beater: Captain Hero [C] (#96)**

** Beater: Toot Braunstein (#20)**

** Keeper: Wooldoor Sockbat (#99)**

** Seeker: Ling Ling (#42)**

** Coach: Spanky Ham**

**FOX?**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Welcome back to the United States, everybody. Last week, we saw the Milan Witchhunters assault the Kyoto Kappa with a wide assortment of powers to shut them out and gain a much-needed win. And this week, we're coming at you live from beautiful South Florida. The weather is hot, and the Quidditch action will be as well, as the Miami Goblins will be hosting a team that has fell into some controversy as of late; the Philadelphia Thestrals. I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: You may recall last week; right after the Thestrals slaughtered the Milwaukee Death Eaters, they ended up having a friggin' wardrobe malfunction at an upscale restaurant. Three of their female members were spotted topless; apparently their tops "simply disappeared." A couple members of the Death Eaters were spotted there as well; they had no comment.

Hermione: I don't know; the Grim Reaper himself plays for them; they probably got him to use a Vanishing Charm or something.

Ron: Well, whatever it was, it was bloody vicious!

Harry: Wait, how do we know it was them who did it?

Ron: Because they were there! And it was in their hometown! What bloody more do you need?

Michaels: Well, either way, Philadelphia will have a rough time trying to recover from that wardrobe malfunction as they face off against the Goblins in Miami.

...

Fanny: Great; a whole week of being bombarded by the press because of YOUR mishap, and now we gotta come all the way to Miami to play these damn bozos! Un-freakin'-believable!

Abigail: It wasn't our fault, I tell ya! The Death Eaters did it!

Nigel: Alright, that's enough! We have a game to win, here!

...

**The Bludgers are released and sent to fly on their way; the Golden Snitch follows.**

** Before the long, the referee is standing in the dead center of the pitch, Quaffle in hand. The Quaffle is then tossed upwards;**

Nigel: Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!

Michaels: And we are underway in Miami!

**Xandir immediately snatches up the Quaffle for the Miami Goblins. Both Kuki Sanban and Abigail Lincoln set out after him, but can't get in range to steal the Quaffle. Captain Hero beats a Bludger away as Xandir approaches the Philadelphia goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Nigel Uno!

Xandir: Oh, damn!

Nigel: (smirk)

Madden: That wasn't a great save; that limp wristed faggot hasn't the strength to shoot a Quaffle!

**Nigel Uno successfully blocks Xandir's shot, and immediately throws the Quaffle back into play.**

** Fanny Fullbright is the one to catch it. But she then has to pass it to Kuki Sanban as Toot Braunstein hits a Bludger at her and just barely misses.**

** Princess Clara sets out after Kuki, but Cree Lincoln hits a Bludger at her and she's forced to break off.**

Clara: Damn black chicks stealin' my thunder!

**Kuki is able to enter the Miami scoring area and shoot;**

Michaels: 10 points to the Thestrals!

Wooldoor: Oh, fuck!

Kuki: Yay, I scored!

Wally: Nice one, Kooks!

Ron: Man, that wacky whatchamacalit was going everywhere but where he had to be!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us to the Tampa Bay area in Florida, where the Tampa Bay Trolls are hosting the Charlotte Hallows. The score is 10-0, Charlotte. Ferb Fletcher has the Quaffle for the Charlotte Hallows when suddenly, Rolf hits a Bludger that knocks him clean off his broom.**_

_Phineas: FERB!_

_Rolf: That'll teach you to fuck with the Trolls from God's waiting room!_

_**Meanwhile, Edd takes the Quaffle and scores a goal to tie the game at 10.**_

**BACK TO MIAMI**

**After the goal, Wooldoor Sockbat throws the Quaffle to Foxxy Love. Halfway down the pitch, Foxxy tries to pass it to Xandir, but Fanny Fullbright intercepts it.**

Foxxy: Goddammit!

**A Bludger sets its course for Fanny, but Hoagie Gilligan takes care of it. Suddenly, Xandir comes out of nowhere and snatches it out from under her arm.**

Xandir: Ha ha, come and get me!

Fanny: Get back here, faggot!

**But neither Fanny, Kuki or Abby are able to get to Xandir. He heads to the Philadelphia scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: SAVED by Nigel Uno!

Harry: That Nigel sure looks like one hell of a Keeper.

Hermione: And he's not using any weird powers. Ha!

**Nigel Uno blocks the shot; he then passes it to Abigail Lincoln. While that goes on;**

Michaels: And Ling Ling has gone after the Snitch!

Madden: I don't really like Ling Ling; he's just a cheap rip-off of Pikachu.

Hermione: Yeah, and a complete sociopath!

Ron: (sigh)

**As Abigail Lincoln takes posession of the Quaffle, Ling Ling sets out after the Golden Snitch for the Miami Goblins. He gets right on his tail, but can't catch it.**

** As he does his thing, Foxxy Love takes the Quaffle from Abigail Lincoln. Shortly thereafter, Abigail takes it back.**

Foxxy: You best stay out of my way, bitch, or you gonna be dead!

**Foxxy then lashes out at Abigail...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle.

Madden: I saw one of those two lash out at the other. I believe it was Foxxy...

Hermione: It was! And it's gonna be Cobbing on Miami!

**Right when Foxxy lashes out, the penalty whistle sounds; stopping the on-the-pitch action. The call;**

Referee: Cobbing. Miami, #88. Penalty shot for Philadelphia!

Foxxy: Oh, bullshit!

Clara: (sigh) Sassy black girls never learn.

**Foxxy Love gets slapped with a Cobbing penalty; this results in a penalty shot being awarded to the Thestrals.**

** Abigail Lincoln volunteers to take the shot...**

Michaels: She SCORES, and the Thestrals go up 20-0!

Foxxy: Dammit, Wooldor, you can't even block a shot!

Wooldoor: YOU'RE the one who got us penalized, you slut!

Foxxy: UGH!

**Abigail Lincoln scores on the penalty shot, putting the Thestrals up 20-0.**

** Wooldoor then tosses the Quaffle to Princess Clara. Abigail Lincoln makes a run at her;**

Clara: Get your filthy paws off of me, you damn nigger!

Abigail: (gasp) You fuckin'- Hoagie, give me your Bludger Bat!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Spanky: Timeout!

Michaels: The princess has just been hit in the head with a Bludger from Abigail Lincoln, and the Goblins have called timeout!

Hermione: That should totally be illegal! She's not even a Beater, for God's sake!

Harry: Dude, if Slytherin could get away with this sort of crap, so can these cartoons.

**After Princess Clara's racist remark, Abigail Lincoln takes Hoagie Gilligan's Bludger Bat and hits an incoming Bludger at Clara; it hits her in the head. This prompts Spanky Ham, the coach of the Miami Goblins, to call timeout. The Goblins all converge to check on Clara; she's already remounted when they get to her. With that, the timeout is terminated and the game resumes;**

** The Quaffle is once again tossed up - this time, it's Fanny Fullbright who gets it;**

Michaels: And Wally Beetles is after the Snitch!

Ron: The Goblins are in trouble now; their Keeper can't Keep - now this!

Harry: And remember how Wally caught the Snitch when we saw him in the preseason? (wink)

Madden: You know I did read that story. It was... rather mediocre.

**While Fanny Fullbright gets the Quaffle, Wally Beetles goes after the Snitch. Ling Ling hasn't gotten back on it since the penalty earlier, so Wally is in the clear for now. Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Fullbright scores, and Philadelphia is up 30-0!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Chicago, Illinois, where the Chicago Fire Crabs are hosting the Milwaukee Death Eaters. The score is 50-10, Chicago. Spongebob SquarePants is after the Snitch for the Chicago Fire Crabs. Then, Pud'n comes out of nowhere and tries to t-bone Spongebob, but he dodges. Pud'n then ends up crashing into the crowd.**_

_**...**_

_** Spongebob eventually catches the Snitch, and the Fire Crabs win 200-10.**_

**BACK TO MIAMI**

** As Fanny scores the Thestrals' 3rd goal, Wally Beetles keeps on the Golden Snitch. But then;**

Michaels: And here comes Ling Ling!

Madden: He's alongside Wally Beetles - and there they go!

Hermione: Now I'm scared; I don't wanna imagine what he's gonna do to him!

**Ling Ling catches onto the Snitch and goes after it. Before long, he's alongside Wally Beetles and the two start to jockey for position. As they do so, Abigail Lincoln scores another goal to put Philadelphia up 40-0.**

**...**

** Some time later, Kuki Sanban has the Quaffle for the Thestrals; Xandir is trying to steal it for the Goblins. Neither Princess Clara nor Foxxy Love are in range to help him out; neither Captain Hero nor Toot Braunstein have Bludgers to hit at Kuki. And with his team down 40-0, Xandir is forced to take drastic measures. He catches up with Kuki, then draws his sword;**

**...**

All: OH!

Michaels: Xandir has just attacked Kuki Sanban - she's been IMPALED through her back with his sword, and now she's down; Xandir has the Quaffle!

Hermione: Eject him, dammit! He could've killed her!

Ron: Relax; our hospital wings can heal practically anything.

Madden: Man, and the Thestrals were doing so well.

**When Xandir catches up to Kuki, he draws his sword, and then drives his sword into the back of Kuki's body; it just barely misses her stomach as it comes out through her abdomen. Blood spurts out and Kuki screams in anguish as she falls off her broom and hits hards onto the ground, dropping the Quaffle in the process; Xandir picks up the Quaffle.**

** Around the same time, Wally Beetles and Ling Ling are still chasing the Snitch, but then, Wally notices Kuki lying on the ground with a sword stuck through her back.**

Wally: Oh my God, KUKI!

Michaels: Whoa, Wally's broken off from the Snitch and is headed towards Kuki!

Harry: Very noble of him, but it could cost them-

Madden: It just did! It's over!

Michaels: Ling Ling has the Snitch, and the Goblins win it!

Ling Ling: (exhilarated Asian gibberish)

Hermione: They so cheated! One of theirs attacked someone else and the opposing Seeker went to aid her. That's the only reason they won this BS game!

Ron: (shakes head)

**When Wally notices Kuki in her situation, he immediately breaks off from chasing the Snitch and flies to Kuki's aid. This allows Ling Ling to catch the Golden Snitch; the Miami Goblins win 150-40.**

** The Miami home crowd goes wild and the Goblins go equally wild as they celebrate the win. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia Thestrals have all converged on their injured player;**

Wally: Kuki, you okay?

Kuki: ...

Abigail: (gasp) I think she's unconcious!

Rachel: We gotta get her to the hospital wing NOW!

Wally: I got it;

**Wally takes the sword, and very carefully removes it from her body, taking extra care to not hit any vital organs. While Abigail and Fanny apply direct pressure to halt the bleeding. Wally walks out a short distance, sword in hand, his eyes on the celebrating Miami Goblins. Suddenly, his emotions get the better of him;**

Captain Hero: Look out!

**Wally throws the sword at the team; it misses, but it comes within a fraction of an inch of impaling Xandir through his heart.**

Wally: That's for hurting my girlfriend, you fuckin' asswipes!

**When that's done, Wally rushes back to Kuki; the direct pressure Abigail and Fanny have applied seems to have held up the bleeding for now. Wally picks up Kuki, carrying her in his arms; he and the other Thestrals rush her to the hospital wing.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes - 160; Portland Parselmouths - 30**

**Charlotte Hallows - 150; Tampa Bay Trolls - 40**

**Columbus Pixies - 210; Indiana Slughorns - 20**

**Dallas Hippogriffs - 190; Oklahoma Orcs - 50**

**Kansas City Inferi - 250; Detroit Unicorns - 0**

**Kyoto Kappa - 220; Vancouver Grindylows - 10**

**London Chimeras - 150; Milan Witchhunters - 60**

**Los Angeles Undead - 90; Denver Dementors - 180**

**Louisville Phantoms - 200; Birmingham War Pigs - 80**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters - 10; Chicago Fire Crabs - 200**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 40; St. Louis Serpents - 170**

**Montreal Manticores - 180; Paris Veela - 80**

**Nashville Basilisks - 20; Houston Horcruxes - 160**

**New Orleans Dark Mark - 50; Atlanta Owls - 150**

**New York Dragons - 60; New England Griffins - 170**

**Osaka Oni - 30; Toronto Salamanders - 220**

**Richmond Werewolves - 190; Washington Ministry - 80**

**Rome Fairies - 70; Toulouse Sphinxes - 160**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 50; Seattle Vampires - 200**

**San Francisco Seers - 220; Las Vegas Night Elves - 70**

**Tokyo Tengu - 230; Mexico City Chupacabras - 40**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (7-2)**

** Miami Goblins (5-4)**

** Washington Ministry (5-4)**

** Richmond Werewolves (4-5)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (6-3)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (5-4)**

** New York Dragons (4-5)**

** Indiana Slughorns (2-7)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (6-3)**

** Louisville Phantoms (5-4)**

** Houston Horcurxes (4-5)**

** Nashville Basilisks (3-6)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (6-3)**

** Seattle Vampires (5-4)**

** Los Angeles Undead (3-6)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (3-6)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (5-4)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (5-4)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-5)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-7)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (6-3)**

** Kansas City Inferi (5-4)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-5)**

** Detroit Unicorns (1-8)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (6-3)**

** Charlotte Hallows (5-4)**

** Atlanta Owls (4-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (4-5)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (7-2)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (5-4)**

** San Francisco Seers (4-5)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (3-6)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (6-3)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (5-4)**

** Rome Fairies (4-5)**

** Paris Veela (3-6)**

** Milan Witchhunters (2-7)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (6-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (6-3)**

** Kyoto Kappa (5-4)**

** Osaka Oni (4-5)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (3-6)**

** Montreal Manticores (3-6)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (2-7)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger - see you all next week!


	28. Hospital Wing

We now go into another side story, which takes place immediately following the events of the Goblins/Thestrals game.

The doors to the stadium hospital wing are burst open; in come the Philadelphia Thestrals, all in a a state of panic. During the game, one of their Chasers, Kuki Sanban, was seriously injured at the hands of the Miami Goblins; Xandir, one of their Chasers, literally stabbed Kuki in the back while she had the Quaffle, and Miami went on to win, 150-40. While Wally Beetles was able to remove the sword, and Hoagie Gilligan and Fanny Fullbright were able to stop the bleeding via direct pressure, she was still in urgent need of medical attention.

"Someone, help!" Rachel calls out to the medical personnel. "One of ours was attacked and she needs help!"

"Let me have a look!" A doctor rushes up to them right when Rachel calls out to them. Per his instructions, Wally, who's carrying Kuki, gently lays her down on one of the hospital beds. Then, the doctor examines the wound.

"She was REALLY lucky!" the doctor says. "Had whatever-it-was been a fraction of an inch closer, it would've gone right through her stomach, and, well... But what amazes me is how she's not still bleeding!"

"That was me and Fanny," explains Hoagie.

"We applied direct pressure," adds Fanny.

"Hey, don't shut me out!" Wally interjects. "I was the one who removed the sword, you know!"

"Well, whatever you did," the doctor says, "it seems to have paid off. We'll just have to bandage the wound to avoid infection." With that, he summons a nurse, and she quickly wraps a big bandage around Kuki's stomach area to cover up both the entrance and exit wounds.

"Oh, please tell me she's gonna be alright!" Wally says, panicked.

"Not to worry," the doctor replies. "She'll need a nice rest, but she'll make a full recovery."

Wally, Nigel, Hoagie, Abigail, Rachel, Fanny and Cree all breathe a collective sigh of relief; then, Kuki starts to stir.

"She's comin' to" Abigail gasps.

Slowly, but surely, Kuki's eyes flutter open to see Wally, Nigel, Hoagie, Abigail, Rachel, Fanny and Cree all smiling down upon her.

"How ya feelin', Kooks?" Wally asks.

"I... I feel weird," Kuki stammers. "I'm not dead, am I?"

"No," says the doctor. "You'll recover, you just need rest."

Upon hearing this, Kuki breathes a sigh of relief similar to the collective one her teammates breathed earlier. She and the rest of the team then share a few minutes together in silence, smiles all the way.

Then, Kuki breaks this silence, saying, "I want a moment alone - with Wally; just the two of us."

Without question, Nigel, Hoagie, Abigail, Rachel, Fanny, Cree and the doctor all leave the room - but the doctor turns back and says, "You know, we wouldn't be this considerate if our team hadn't beaten you today!"

"Oh, fuck off!" snaps Wally. The doctor scowls at him and walks off.

Wally then turns to Kuki, kneels down to her at her bedside and says, "Well, thank GOD you're alright!"

"I know," replies Kuki. "I mean, I really can't imagine what it'd be like if you didn't have me - you, all alone, with no one to talk to, to hug, to kiss..."

Wally sniffs and whimpers, "You have no idea!" as his eyes start to well up and his breathing starts to get shaky.

Upon noticing this, Kuki immediately reaches out to Wally and pulls him into her arms, holding him close. "Awww, don't cry, Wally!" she croons as she gives him a tender kiss on the forehead. "I'm still standing. I'm still here for you; I'll always be."

"I love you!" Wally sniffs.

Kuki gives Wally another kiss, this time on the cheek, and says, "I love you, too. Shhhh," and begins rubbing his back.

...

After several minutes, Wally calms down. "It's okay. I'm not worried now, I know you'll be alright," he says. "What I'm worried about now is our next game; we'll be playing the New York Dragons! I hear their Seeker is an actual dragon and can breathe fire and everything. I'm scared!"

"Oh, come on, we've gone up against worse," Kuki reassures him. "And you're Wally Beetles - you're strong, you're brave, and I believe in you! And in us!"

After a moment, Wally's face bestows a gentle smile. "Awww," he blushes as he gives Kuki a peck on the lips. "Thanks, Kooks! You always know how to bring me up when I'm down."

The two share a moment of blissful silence, just with each other. Then, Wally interjects and says, "Hey, can you stand? We should probably get back to the treehouse."

"I'll try," replies Kuki. Clutching the injured part of her body, she staggers, but she manages to stand on her own power.

"That a girl!" replies Wally. "C'mon, I'll help you to the C.O.O.L.B.U.S. and we'll go home."

And with that, Wally brings Kuki's arm around his own shoulder and puts his own arm around her waist, all for support. Without being noticed by any of the medical personnel, Wally helps Kuki out of the hospital wing, out of the Quidditch stadium and onto the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.

"Kuki, girl, you're okay!" Abigail proclaims. The other kids all applaud, making Kuki blush, and Wally, too. Then, Hoagie starts up the C.O.O.L.B.U.S., and they take off and set off for home to rest until next week's game...


	29. Week 10 Prologue

** Week 10 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Columbus Pixies**

**Denver Dementors vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Montreal Manticores**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Kyoto Kappa vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Los Angeles Undead**

**London Chimeras vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Miami Goblins vs New England Griffins**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**New York Dragons vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Paris Veela vs San Francisco Seers**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Osaka Oni**

**Seattle Vampires vs Portland Parselmouths**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Atlanta Owls**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Rome Fairies**

**Washington Ministry vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

** Game of the Week; Washington Ministry vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

** See you in Mexico City!**


	30. Week 10 Washington vs Mexico City

** Week 10 Game of the Week; Washington Ministry vs Mexico City Chupacabras.**

** Team rosters;**

**Washington Ministry**

** Chaser: Francine Smith (#10)**

** Chaser: Steve Smith (#38)**

** Chaser: Snot Lonstein (#31)**

** Beater: Hayley Smith (#26)**

** Beater: Jeff Fischer (#16)**

** Keeper: Stan Smith [C] (#36)**

** Seeker: Roger Smith (#37)**

** Coach: Avery Bullock**

**Mexico City Chupacabras**

** Chaser: Flama Dama (#10)**

** Chaser: Iron Pinata (#25)**

** Chaser: Gordo Gordo (#14)**

** Beater: Maria Rivera (#77)**

** Beater: Rodolfo Rivera (#72)**

** Keeper: Frida Suarez (#09)**

** Seeker: Manny Rivera [C] (#90)**

** Coach: Grandpapi**

** Now tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Hola, Quidditch fans! Once again, we're outside the United States for yet another international game! This time, we're coming at you live from south of the border, in Mexico City. We're glad you could be with us in this showdown of capital cities, as the Mexico City Chupacabras will be taking on the Washington Ministry! I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger, thanks for having us.

Madden: Once again, it's difficult to pick a winner; but I think I'm gonna go with Mexico City. They happen to have a number of superheroes among them; notably their Seeker, Manny Rivera. Amongst other things, he has razor sharp tiger claws and can shoot his hands out like grappling hooks. If he uses that ability with the Snitch, and the Ministry are pretty much screwed.

Ron: Well, Washington has a bloody space alien for a Seeker, and a CIA agent for a Keeper, and he's pretty badass! Assuming what he's capable of, I'd say Mexico City's gonna have a hard time scoring goals.

Hermione: I don't like the looks of him; I've heard he has a freakin' 9mm handgun that he carries on him at all time, including in Quidditch games! If he shoots someone...

Harry: You'll what? Hit him with an Oppugno Jinx? Or a Bat-Bogey Hex? Just relax and enjoy these games, how many times have Ron and I said that?

Michaels: Alright, knock it off, the game's about to start.

...

Stan: Look at these filthy Mexicans!

Hayley: DAD!

Stan: Hey, we're gonna beat these Mexicans in front of their fans, and we're gonna show 'em the power of America, Fuck Yeah!

Hayley: You're such a xenophobe!

**The Bludgers and the Golden Snitch fly off immediately as they're released. Then, the Quaffle is tossed high into the sky by the referee.**

Michaels: Here we go, in Mexico!

**Flama Dama is the first to get her hands on the Quaffle. Steve Smith and Snot Lonstein both give chase, but Maria Rivera hits a Bludger at them to ward them off. But before Flama can get to the Washington scoring area, Francine Smith pops up and steals the Quaffle.**

Flama: Tu puta!

Francine: I know what that means, you bitch!

Flama: Ugh!

**Jeff Fischer bats away a Bludger as Francine Smith makes her way to the Mexico City goal. Gordo Gordo is the only one within range, but his excess body weight keeps him from getting up to her. With that, Francine makes it to the Mexico City scoring area;**

Michaels: SAVED by Frida Suarez!

Frida: Ha! Volver a la cocina, vieja bruja!

Francine: ...

Madden: Now notice; Francine fakes towards the center hoop, where Frida is hovering. But then she shoots down at the right hoop. But Frida's insane speed allows her to make the save, anyways. Very excellent save by Mexico City.

**Frida Suarez successfully keeps the Quaffle from going through her team's hoops. She then tosses the Quaffle to Iron Pinata.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, where the New England Griffins are hosting the Miami Goblins. The score is 10-0, Miami. Xandir has the Quaffle for the Miami Goblins when Peter Griffin hits a Bludger into his head and knocks him off his broom.**_

_Xandir: (screaming)_

_Peter: (shrug) The fag had it coming._

_**Lois Griffin picks up the Quaffle and goes on to score, tying the game at 10.**_

__**BACK TO MEXICO CITY**

Michaels: That Bludger just barely missed Iron Pinata, now Steve Smith has the Quaffle!

Pinata: Mierda santa!

Ron: He almost got his bloody head bashed in!

Hermione: I'm surprised no one hit that Bludger at him.

**A flying Bludger comes within an inch of hitting Iron Pinata in the head; he drops the Quaffle, and Steve Smith comes up with it. His sister Hayley hits a Bludger at Flama Dama, who's chasing him; she's forced to back off. Steve flies to the Chupacabras' goal;**

Michaels: SCORE! Ministry go up 10-0.

Frida: Maldito!

Snot: Nice one, Steve! (high-five)

Madden: Frida overdid it on the speed this time; she's at the left hoop; Steve shoots at the center hoop. Frida flies to it so fast that she overshoots the hoop, allowing the Quaffle to go in.

Harry: Well, I'm surprised that a skinny geek like Steve Smith can play Quidditch!

Ron: Geeks are into this sort of stuff, Harry; it shouldn't surprise anyone.

**Steve Smith scores the first goal of the game; the Washington Ministry take a 10-0 lead.**

** Frida Suarez throws the Quaffle back into play; Gordo Gordo catches it, but he's forced to pass it to Flama Dama as Francine Smith comes at him like a rocket. Rodolfo Rivera bats away a Bludger as Flama approaches the Washington goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Stan Smith!

Flama: Hijo de puta!

Stan: English, you filthy spic! English!

Madden: This is where Stan's CIA skills come into play; Flama aims for the hoop opposite where he's hovering, but he flies over and just manages to reach a hand out and keep the Quaffle from going through.

Hermione: At least he didn't pull his gun.

Ron: He should've! (scoff)

**Stan Smith saves the Quaffle, then passes it to his wife, Francine.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: And Roger the alien appears to be after the Snitch!

Madden: But he'd better look out for that Manny Rivera; if he uses those tiger claws or that grappling hook, then Roger and his team are screwed!

Hermione: ...

**Eventually, Roger Smith spots the Snitch, and sets out after it in an attempt to win the game for the Washington Ministry. Staying with it is quite difficult, though; he happens to be somewhat overweight, and this proves to be a slight of setbacking hinderance to his goal.**

** In the meantime, Snot Lonstein has the Quaffle for the Ministry. He's then forced to pass it to Steve Smith when Gordo Gordo attempts to bodyslam him;**

Michaels: Penalty whistle on the pitch!

Hermione: Blatching on the Chupacabras! I saw it!

Madden: He did look like he was gonna t-bone him there.

**The penalty whistle goes out just as Gordo Gordo barely misses Snot Lonstein. The call;**

Referee: Blatching. Mexico City, #14. Penalty shot for Washington!

Gordo: Sandeces!

Snot: Phew, that was close.

**Gordo Gordo gets called for Blatching, and so Washington will get a penalty shot. Snot Lonstein, having almost been the victim of a bodyslamming, volunteers to take the shot; Frida Suarez will defend.**

Frida: Traerlo, te flaca-culo Judio!

...

Michaels: Snot SCORES!

Snot: Yes! Take that, you filthy Mexicans!

Frida: Puto Judio de mierda!

Hermione: (shrug) The Chupacabras had it coming.

**Snot Lonstein scores on the penalty and the Washington Ministry extend their lead to 20-0.**

** It's Iron Pinata who catches the Quaffle when Frida Suarez throws it back into play. He passes it to Flama Dama as Francine Smith makes a rush at him. A Bludger just misses Flama, making her pass it to Gordo Gordo. Gordo takes it to the Washington goal, but Stan Smith is ready for him;**

Madden: HE'S GOT A GUN!

Michaels: And he's just shot Gordo Gordo in the stomach... but he's still on his broom!

Ron: His rolls of fat probably absorbed the shot.

Hermione: Somebody eject him! He could've killed somebody!

Gordo: Tu loco hijo de puta!

Stan: (shrug) That's what happens when you come to our land illegally.

Gordo: Esta es NUESTRA tierra, el cretino!

Stan: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

**Before Gordo Gordo can even enter the scoring area to the Washington goal, Stan Smith pulls out a 9mm Glock handgun and shoots Gordo in the stomach. Fortunately for Gordo, his rolls of fat absorb the shot and keep it from hitting any of his vital organs; he's even able to stay on his broom and keep playing. But the force of the shot does cause him to drop the Quaffle, which is promptly picked up by Francine Smith.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the New York Dragons. The score is 40-0, New York. Jake Long is chasing after the Snitch for the New York Dragons; Wallabee Beetles is directly behind. Suddenly, right as Jake is about to grab the Snitch, Wallabee Beetles hits the tail end of his broom with enough force to make Jake "spin out."**_

_Jake: Aaah, what the hell!_

_Wally: Heh heh heh!_

_**Jake breathes a jet of fire at Wally, but it misses. Wally goes on to the catch the Snitch, and the Philadelphia Thestrals win 150-40.**_

** BACK TO MEXICO CITY**

** Francine Smith still has the Quaffle; Flama Dama and Iron Pinata tries to steal it and Maria and Rodolfo Rivera hit Bludgers at her, but they all failed. Now, Francine has no trouble on her way to the Chupacabras' goal;**

Michaels: SCORE!

Stan: Great goin', Francine!

Frida: Ugh! Puta mierda!

Madden: Here again, Frida Suarez overdid it on the speed. She went too quickly from the right hoop to the center hoop and couldn't keep the Quaffle from going through.

Harry: At this rate, the Chupacabras will have to get on that Snitch, or else they'll be screwed.

**Francine Smith scores a goal, extending the Washington Ministry's lead to 30-0.**

** Meanwhile, Roger Smith is still on the Golden Snitch; albeit not right on top of it, as his overweight body somewhat hinders his speed and manuverability. He's placed at an even greater disadvantage when;**

Michaels: Well, it appears that Manny Rivera has finally got onto the Snitch!

Madden: Mexico City certainly needs this, after being down 30-0.

Hermione: Well, I'm praying that Manny doesn't do anything rash.

**As Roger Smith continues to chase after the Golden Snitch, Manny Rivera suddenly joins in the chase. Being much faster than Roger, he catches up to him in no time. But Roger punches him in the gut, causing him to fall back a ways, infuriating him.**

Manny: Usted solo follada con el Mexicano equivocado!

...

Roger: AAAH!

Michaels: He just slashed at Roger's side with those tiger claws, there are scars across the scide of his body, and he's in pain!

Hermione: Dammit, I knew he was gonna do something with those claws, I just knew it!

Harry: Well, he's still on his broom, but he's hurtin'!

Ron: I don't think he'll have a shot at the Snitch, now.

**Using his tiger claws, Manny Rivera slashes at Roger's side. Roger screams in pain, holding onto his broom, but hurting. The claws leave scars across his body. He stays on his broom, but falls back from the Snitch.**

** As for Manny, now that he's in the clear, he uses his grappling hook ability;**

Madden: How did he do that?

Michaels: I don't know, but he has the Snitch, and the Chupacabras win!

Hermione: I really can't think of any spell that does something like that.

Ron: Forget about it, Hermione! They won; it doesn't matter!

**After Roger Smith is out of the way, Manny Rivera uses his grappling hook power to reach out to the Golden Snitch and catch it with no problem. As a result, the Mexico City Chupacabras win 150-30 over the Washington Ministry.**

** While the Chupacabras and the Mexico City home crowd celebrates the win, Roger Smith is now on the ground, staggering and clutching his side as he heads to the locker room. Steve and Hayley both fly down to try and help;**

Steve: Dude, you alright?

Roger: I'm fine, but those claws hurt like hell!

Hayley: C'mon, let us help you.

Roger: (sigh) Alright.

**Steve and Hayley both take Roger by the arms and help him to the locker room, followed by the rest of the team, all ashamed about the loss, particularly Stan.**

Stan: (melancholy) We lost. America... lost. (sniff)

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes - 0; Birmingham War Pigs - 160**

**Charlotte Hallows - 190; Nashville Basilisks - 20**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 90; Columbus Pixies - 200**

**Denver Dementors - 180; Houston Horcruxes - 40**

**Detroit Unicorns - 210; Montreal Manticores - 40**

**Indiana Slughorns - 160; Louisville Phantoms - 30**

**Kyoto Kappa - 50; New Orleans Dark Mark - 220**

**Las Vegas Night Elves - 170; Los Angeles Undead - 60**

**London Chimeras - 90; Kansas City Inferi - 250**

**Miami Goblins - 10; New England Griffins - 190**

**Milan Witchhunters - 160; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 70**

**New York Dragons - 40; Philadelphia Thestrals - 150**

**Paris Veela - 20; San Francisco Seers - 200**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 200; Osaka Oni - 100**

**Seattle Vampires - 160; Portland Parselmouths - 50**

**St. Louis Serpents - 80; Atlanta Owls - 160**

**Tampa Bay Trolls - 80; Dallas Hippogriffs - 220**

**Tokyo Tengu - 240; Richmond Werewolves - 10**

**Toronto Salamanders - 50; Oklahoma Orcs - 230**

**Toulouse Sphinxes - 230; Minnesota Wormtails - 40**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 150; Rome Fairies - 100**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (8-2)**

** Miami Goblins (5-5)**

** Washington Ministry (5-5)**

** Richmond Werewolves (4-6)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (7-3)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (6-4)**

** New York Dragons (4-6)**

** Indiana Slughorns (3-7)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (7-3)**

** Louisville Phantoms (5-5)**

** Houston Horcurxes (4-6)**

** Nashville Basilisks (3-7)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (7-3)**

** Seattle Vampires (6-4)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (4-6)**

** Los Angeles Undead (3-7)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (6-4)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (6-4)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-6)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-8)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (6-4)**

** Kansas City Inferi (6-4)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (4-6)**

** Detroit Unicorns (1-9)**

** South Division**

** Charlotte Hallows (6-4)**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (6-4)**

** Atlanta Owls (5-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (5-5)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (7-3)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (5-5)**

** San Francisco Seers (5-5)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (4-6)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (6-4)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (6-4)**

** Rome Fairies (4-6)**

** Paris Veela (3-7)**

** Milan Witchhunters (3-7)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (7-3)**

** Toronto Salamanders (6-4)**

** Kyoto Kappa (5-5)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (4-6)**

** Osaka Oni (4-6)**

** Montreal Manticores (3-7)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (3-7)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger; see you all next week, back in the States!


	31. Week 11 Prologue

** Week 11 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs New England Griffins**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Seattle Vampires**

**Columbus Pixies vs Denver Dementors**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Houston Horcruxes vs New York Dragons**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Montreal Manticores vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Indiana Slughorns**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Miami Goblins**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Osaka Oni vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Paris Veela vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Portland Parselmouths vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Rome Fairies vs London Chimeras**

**San Francisco Seers vs Milan Witchhunters**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Washington Ministry vs Minnesota Wormtails**

** Game of the Week; Columbus Pixies vs Denver Dementors.**

** See you in Denver!**


	32. Week 11 Columbus vs Denver

** Week 11 Game of the Week; Columbus Pixies vs Denver Dementors.**

** Team rosters;**

**Columbus Pixies**

** Chaser: Cosmo (#01)**

** Chaser: Wanda (#6)**

** Chaser: Vicky (#10)**

** Beater: AJ (#11)**

** Beater: Chester McBadbat (#15)**

** Keeper: Trixie Tang (#40)**

** Seeker: Timmy Turner [C] (#17)**

** Coach: Jorgen Von Strangle**

**Denver Dementors**

** Chaser: Stan Marsh (#97)**

** Chaser: Wendy Testaburger (#79)**

** Chaser: Bebe Stevens (#04)**

** Beater: Eric Cartman [C] (#14)**

** Beater: Butters Scotch (#2)**

** Keeper: Kenny McCormick (#39)**

** Seeker: Kyle Broflovski (#25)**

** Coach: Randy Marsh**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: We're just about to hit the halfway mark in the Cartoon Quidditch regular season! Last week, it was a battle of capital cities which saw the Mexico City Chupacabras victorious over the Washington Ministry. And this week, we're back in the States for Week 11 of this 22-week regular season. We're glad you could join us, as the Columbus Pixies will be hosting the Denver Dementors! I'm Al Michaels; with me as always - John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Now this is one of those match-ups I just love to see; right here we have two of of the best teams in the league going at it! Both have 7-3 records, Columbus is leading the American North division and Denver is leading the American West division. Whatever happens, I just know this is gonna be insane!

Hermione: Tell me about it; those Pixies have a couple of actual fairies for Chasers; both of whom have really potent magical abilities - I really don't think I wanna watch anything they may have up their sleeves!

Harry: Hmm, well I guess on Denver can do about it is get the hell away from them when they're about to do something.

Ron: But seriously, Hermione; lighten up, why don't you?

...

Wanda: Hey Timmy, listen; don't make any wishes right now - wait till the game goes on. Better yet, just hold off unless we're getting beaten really bad-

Cosmo: Then you can make any insane wishes you want!

Timmy: Uh... okay. (shrug) LET'S GO PIXIES!

**Once the Pixies and the Dementors are lined up into their positions, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are released to fly their separate ways. Once they're away, the Quaffle is transported to the center of the pitch by the referee, and promptly tossed upwards;**

Michaels: Here we go; it's on in the Rockies!

**Stan Marsh gets the jump on everyone else; and takes the Quaffle right as it hits mid-air. He gets about halfway to the Columbus goal when the Quaffle is suddenly snatched from him by Vicky.**

Stan: HEY!

Vicky: Come and get me, ya twerp!

**Eric Cartman hits a Bludger in Vicky's direction, but it misses. After Wendy Testaburger unsuccessfully tries to take the Quaffle back for Denver, Vicky takes her shot at their goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Kenny McCormick!

Kenny: Mmm-pfm!

Vicky: Damn you, ya pipsqueak!

Madden: That wasn't a great save; that was just a poor shot! I mean, she just shot right at him; it looked like she was trying to pass it to him, for cryin' out loud!

**Kenny McCormick successfully keeps the Bludger from going through the hoop, and promptly passes it to Bebe Stevens.**

** Bebe passes it to Wendy Testaburger before Wanda can get to her. Butters Scotch hits away a Bludger as Wendy trucks on, with Cosmo on her tail, to the Columbus goal. She makes it to the scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: And she SCORES! Denver gets on the board, 10-0.

Cosmo: I knew we shouldn't have let that dumb rich girl on the team!

Trixie: HEY!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us to the Tampa Bay area in Florida, where the Tampa Bay Trolls are hosting the Louisville Phantoms. The score is tied at 10. Edd has the Quaffle for the Tampa Bay Trolls. He's about to reach the Louisville scoring area when Tucker Foley comes up from behind and grabs the tail end of his broom to slow him down. Tucker is then penalized for Blagging.**_

_Tucker: Oh, you gotta be kidding me!_

_Edd: You grabbed my broom; I felt it!_

_**Edd scores on the resulting penalty shot, and the Trolls take the lead, 20-10.**_

__**BACK TO DENVER**

** After Wendy Testaburger's goal, Trixie Tang throws the Quaffle back into play, where it is caught by Cosmo. Stan Marsh tries to make a rush at him, but he's forced to back off as Chester McBadbat hits a Bludger in his direction. Then, Wendy Testaburger and Bebe Stevens both position themselves right in front of their team's goal's scoring area, attempting to prevent Cosmo from reaching it. Out of the blue, Cosmo draws his wand;**

Cosmo: Flipendo!

...

Michaels: Wendy Testaburger and Bebe Stevens have just been blasted backwards!

Hermione: What's that fairy thinking, using a Knockback Jinx?

Madden: Well, it didn't seem to hurt them much.

Harry: And they're still on their brooms, so... yeah.

**Cosmo uses a Knockbck Jinx on Wendy and Bebe, knocking them back to the end of the pitch, and allowing Cosmo to enter the scoring area to the Dementors' goal;**

Michaels: SCORE! We have a tie game!

Kenny: (growling)

Wanda: Oh, come here, you! (kisses Cosmo)

Cosmo: (giggle)

Ron: Let's face it; there's no way that would've been possible without that Knockback Jinx.

Hermione: Oh, shut up, Ron!

**Cosmo scores to tie the game at 10. Kenny McCormick, after the goal, throws the Quaffle to Wendy Testaburger.**

** Butters Scotch hits a Bludger at Vicky to make her back off from Wendy, who shortly thereafter, almost gets hits by another Bludger hit by AJ, making her pass the Quaffle to Stan Marsh. While that fiasco goes on;**

Michaels: Kyle Broflovski appears to be after the Snitch!

Hermione: He damn well better catch it before those bloody fairies curse him or something!

Ron: Honestly, that was just a Jinx! What makes you think they would actually Curse someone?

All: ...

**Kyle Broflovski is the first of the two Seekers to start out after the Golden Snitch. His small size allows him to gain ground on the Snitch is a relatively short period of time, but the Snitch's compact size combined with its feistiness make it a really tough catch...**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Vicky scores, and the Pixies takes the lead!

Vicky: Take that, ya twerps!

Cartman: Dammit, Kenny, BLOCK THEIR FUCKIN' SHOTS!

Kenny: (sigh)

**Vicky scores and puts the Columbus Pixies in the lead, 20-10. Kenny then throws the Quaffle to Bebe Stevens.**

** Bebe then passes it to Stan Marsh. Butters Scotch beats away a Bludger as Stan heads towards the Columbus goal. Vicky tries to catch him, but fails. Then, Stan shoots;**

Michaels: And we're tied once again!

Madden: So far, that Trixie Tang hasn't been too good of a Keeper.

Harry: Spoiled rich girls are like that, John.

**Stan shoots and scores, tying the game at 20.**

** Then...**

Michaels: Look out, Kyle; Timmy's after the Snitch, now!

**Right as Kyle Broflovski is about to catch the Golden Snitch, Timmy Turner pulls up alongside him and throws him off. The two begin to run in to each other for a while, trying to take away each other's momentum. That's when Kyle lashes out at Timmy with his elbow;**

Michaels: Penalty whistle!

Madden: That was a Cobbing! You saw what Kyle did there!

**The penalty whistle sounds just as Kyle lashes out. The call;**

Referee: Cobbing. Denver, #25. Penalty shot for Columbus!

Kyle: I barely even touched him, dude!

**Kyle Broflovski gets called for Cobbing, and so Columbus will take a penalty shot. Wanda will shoot, and Kenny McCormick will attempt to defend;**

Michaels: 30-20, Pixies!

Cosmo: That was awesome, Wanda!

Kenny: (facepalm)

**Wanda scores on the penalty shot, and the Columbus Pixies retake the lead, 30-20.**

** Bebe Stevens comes up with the Quaffle afterwards. She has almost no resistance as she approaches the Pixies's goal. But then, Wanda jumps out in front of her with her wand drawn...**

Wanda: Impedimenta!

...

Michaels: Bebe Stevens has just stopped in mid-air!

Madden: She looks like she's struggling, why can't she go forward?

Hermione: Because Wanda just hit her with an Impediment Jinx, you dimwit!

Ron: It may be vital in a duel, but not here.

**Wanda uses an Impediment Jinx on Bebe Stevens, halting her forward progress and keeping her from the Pixies' goal. Vicky takes the Quaffle while Cosmo and Wanda fly ahead of her for support.**

** Cosmo and Wanda are able to keep Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger away; Eric Cartman and Butters Scotch hit Bludgers at them, but they miss. With Vicky trailing behind her, Cosmo and Wanda head towards the Dementors' goal. Right before they hit the scoring area, they both draw their wands and point them at Kenny;**

Cosmo/Wanda: Avada Kedavra!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Seattle, Washington, where the Seattle Vampires are hosting the Birmingham War Pigs. The score is tied at 60. Pickles and Meatwad are both chasing after the Golden Snitch; however, Pickles is extremely drunk, preventing him from maintaining adequate control of his broom. Eventually, he crashes into the crowd.**_

_** A short time later, Meatwad catches the Snitch, and the Seattle Vampires win it, 210-60.**_

__**BACK TO DENVER**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Kenny McCormick's just been blasted off his broom!

Hermione: Oh God, what spell did they use this time?

Harry: Uh...

**Cosmo and Wanda cast a spell at Kenny McCormick; this spell blasts him off his broom and sends him falling to the ground below. When he hits the ground, he doesn't get up. In fact, all of his internal organs have simply stopped functioning.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

Hermione: Those BASTARDS! Those fairies should have their asses handed life sentences to Azkaban right NOW!

** Vicky takes advantage of the empty goal and scores easily, putting the Columbus Pixies up 40-20.**

** Then;**

Timmy: I wish the Snitch would fly into my hand!

...

Madden: He has it!

Michaels: And the Pixies have won it!

Ron: It just flew right into his hands; how the bloody hell is that possible?

Hermione: Even I don't have an explanation for that.

**Upon Timmy Turner's wish, Cosmo and Wanda use their fairy magic to grant it; the Snitch changes its course and flies right to Timmy; he easily catches it in his hands. Thus, the Columbus Pixies beat the Denver Dementors 190-20.**

** The Denver home crowd boos the Pixies incessantly over the outcome, particularly the fate of the Keeper. Meanwhile, as the Pixies are on the ground celebrating the win, a surprise guest comes running at them from the locker room;**

Tootie: YAY, TIMMY!

Timmy: Oh crap!

...

Whole Team: (gasp)

**Tootie, Vicky's little sister who's been chasing after Timmy for a long time, makes her move here. She'd been waiting in the locker room for just the right moment; right as the Columbus Pixies win the game and are on the ground celebrating, Tootie bursts out of the locker room and runs toward Timmy. Before he can stop her, she plants an incredibly passionate kiss in his lips. At first, Timmy feels like pushing her away, but within a couple of seconds, he gives in and enjoys it. Then, after they pull apart;**

Timmy: Wow, that was actually very... enjoyable! I'm sorry I doubted you.

Tootie: (giggle) That's alright. At least we have each other now!

Timmy: (blush)

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls - 160; New England Griffins - 40**

**Birmingham War Pigs - 60; Seattle Vampires - 210**

**Dallas Hippogriffs - 50; Las Vegas Night Elves - 180**

**Houston Horcruxes - 20; New York Dragons - 180**

**Kansas City Inferi - 100; Richmond Werewolves - 200**

**Louisville Phantoms - 50; Tampa Bay Trolls - 170**

**Mexico City Chupacabras - 40; Los Angeles Undead - 220**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters - 230; Arizona Phoenixes - 70**

**Montreal Manticores - 180; Vancouver Grindylows - 20**

**Nashville Basilisks - 150; Indiana Slughorns - 10**

**New Orleans Dark Mark - 60; Miami Goblins - 150**

**Oklahoma Orcs - 50; Chicago Fire Crabs - 240**

**Osaka Oni - 230; Tokyo Tengu - 90**

**Paris Veela - 50; Toulouse Sphinxes - 160**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 220; Charlotte Hallows - 10**

**Portland Parselmouths - 240; San Antonio Centaurs - 0**

**Rome Fairies - 240; London Chimeras - 90**

**San Francisco Seers - 220; Milan Witchhunters - 100**

**St. Louis Serpents - 0; Detroit Unicorns - 200**

**Toronto Salamanders - 190; Kyoto Kappa - 80**

**Washington Ministry - 230; Minnesota Wormtails - 40**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (8-3)**

** Miami Goblins (6-5)**

** Washington Ministry (6-5)**

** Richmond Werewolves (5-6)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (8-3)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (7-4)**

** New York Dragons (5-6)**

** Indiana Slughorns (3-8)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (7-4)**

** Louisville Phantoms (5-6)**

** Houston Horcurxes (4-7)**

** Nashville Basilisks (4-7)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (7-4)**

** Seattle Vampires (7-4)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (4-7)**

** Los Angeles Undead (4-7)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (6-5)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (6-5)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-7)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (2-9)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (7-4)**

** Kansas City Inferi (6-5)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (5-6)**

** Detroit Unicorns (2-9)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (7-4)**

** Atlanta Owls (6-5)**

** Charlotte Hallows (6-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (5-6)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (8-3)**

** San Francisco Seers (6-5)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (5-6)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (5-6)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (7-4)**

** London Chimeras (6-5)**

** Rome Fairies (5-6)**

** Paris Veela (3-8)**

** Milan Witchhunters (3-8)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (7-4)**

** Toronto Salamanders (7-4)**

** Kyoto Kappa (5-6)**

** Osaka Oni (5-6)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (4-7)**

** Montreal Manticores (4-7)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (3-8)**

Michaels: And this has been the halfway mark of the regular season; here's to an exciting 2nd half. This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger; so long, everyone!


	33. Team Relations

Since we've just passed the halfway mark in the regular season, I thought it'd be the perfect time for another side story;

This one takes place on Monday, the day after Week 11, in a dojo in Tokyo, Japan, which shall remain nameless. In the dojo are Ash Ketchum, Misty, Brock, May, Dawn, Iris and Cilan; all the players for the Cartoon Quidditch team known as the Tokyo Tengu. The day before, they had lost to one of their rival teams, the Osaka Oni, and were now tied with the Toronto Salamanders for the lead in the International Pacific division.

As of now, they've been training all of their Pocket Monsters, or Pokemon; they've been doing so for a good chunk of the day. Right now, Misty has her incredibly retarded Psyduck in a battle with Ash's Pikachu.

"Psyduck, use ESP!" commands Misty. ESP refers to Psyduck's signature move, which allows it to use one of its opponents own attacks against it. When Psyduck appears to have an extrasensory registry on Pikachu, Misty orders, "Now, use Thunderbolt!"

But Psyduck, due to his stupidity, ends up copying the wrong move; instead of using Pikachu's Thunderbolt, it uses its Quick Attack. As Psyduck runs up to Pikachu about to use this move, Ash is ready to counter; "Pikachu, use Iron Tail!"

Pikachu's tail turns from yellow to gray, its surface transforming into rock-hard iron. When Psyduck gets within range, Pikachu brings this Iron Tail down with all its might onto Psyduck's head, knocking it backwards and causing it to lose its conciousness...

"Psyduck is unable to battle," Brock announces. "Pikachu wins!"

As Misty puts Psyduck back into its Poke Ball, she sighs despondently and says, "He'll never learn. Not only can't he battle, but he'll never be any good to me in Quidditch! I don't know why I let him fly with me in our games."

As she laments, Ash walks up to Misty, puts his arm around her and says, "Well we're still in pretty good shape; 7-4 isn't a bad record at all! And sure, the Salamanders may be somewhat pesky to us, but we can take them. And as for the Manticores, Grindylows, Chupacabras, Kappa, Oni and everyone else... we don't have to worry about them. Even if Psyduck's a retard, we still have all our other Pokemon; we'll be going straight to the top; I just know it!

With a smile returning to her face, Misty puts her own arm around Ash and says, "Thanks, Ash. I feel much better, now."

After their moment, Ash says, "Alright, we should wrap up for the day, I'm tired out."

"How's about we get some American fast food?" Brock suggests.

"Yes! Fast food is always great for filling one's stomach," replies Cilan.

Ash turns to the girls and says, "You wanna come along?" They all shake their heads, to which Ash replies, "That's fine, I'll still be thinking of you all." And so the girls wave the boys goodbye as they head out to get some McDonald's.

"Ah, so kind and thoughtful and sweet," Misty remarks. "I love that guy!"

"Wait, you don't mean Ash, do you?" May jumps in, jealousy tinting her voice.

"Of course!" Misty replies.

"Don't make me laugh!" May snaps. "You've always been at his throat; he gets along MUCH better with me!"

Suddenly Dawn chips in; "Oh, that's REAL big talk coming from someone who left the poor guy for another region - that's right; I love him way more than either of you!"

This already-heated conversation degenerates into unintelligible cross-talk between Misty, May and Dawn, leaving Iris out of the picture. Eventually, Iris can't take it anymore and yells out, "SHUT UP!" silencing the other girls.

"Look, you all have huge crushes on Ash," Iris says. "I admit... I do, too," she blushes.

"But you're the one always calling him 'such a kid!'" May protests.

"He may be," replies Iris, "but he is really cute. But seriously, I have a plan that should end this debate once and for all..."

...

Much later that night, after stuffing their stomachs full of McDonald's chicken selects and French fries, Brock and Cilan go out to enjoy the Tokyo nightlife; Ash decides to return to the team's hotel. Once he gets there, he opens the door to his hotel room and goes in; Misty, May, Dawn and Iris are all there, wearing bathrobes. "Hi, Ash!" they all greet him enthusiastically.

"Hi girls, what's up?" Ash smiles back.

"We've been waiting for you all night," says Misty.

"We all have something very special for you!" May chips in.

"It's a surprise!" Dawn adds.

"Oh, I love surprises!" proclaims Ash as he gets excited. "Wait - I don't have to close my eyes, do I?"

"Yes, you do, silly!" answers Iris as she and the other girls giggle.

Ash shrugs it off and closes his eyes, eagerly waiting for this surprise. It comes to him in the form of a pair of lips that become pressed against his own. This initially shocks him, but in no time loses himself in the intimacy. It's Misty who's kissing him. After a few seconds of that, she releases her lips while putting two fingers on Ash's eyes as a way of telling him to keep them closed, which he does.

Before long, another pair of lips are tenderly making out with him; this time it's May's. She very sweetly caresses his mouth with hers, and before long, eases her tongue into his mouth, where it touches his tongue...

They do this for a while, then May releases hold of Ash; a few seconds later, Dawn's lips are now mutually sucking on Ash's. She too sticks her tongue into his mouth, and probes his tongue even more amorously than May did before. And while they do all this, Dawn manages to undo all the buttons to Ash's shirt, and then slips it off completely, leaving him totally bare-chested.

Once she's done, Iris takes her turn with Ash; she tongue-kisses him harder and more sensually than the others before he did. To add to all of this, she rubs her body against his bare chest while groping both of his buttocks; this starts to get Ash aroused. Iris can feel a bulge starting to come up from his pants, she's so close to him. They make out for a little bit longer, then they pull apart. The rest of the girls untie their bathrobes and let them fall. "Open your eyes," says May.

Ash opens his eyes and almost jumps when he sees what he sees next; Misty, May, Dawn and Iris are all standing there in front of him, completely naked, striking enticing poses while flaunting their physical assets.

"You like?" Dawn flirts. Ash just continues to stare at them all, totally speechless. "He likes," Misty says. Then, they all advance towards Ash with seductive looks on their faces. Ash is almost scared as they move towards him. Then, Iris takes hold of both his hands, places them on her breasts and moves them in a circular motion. The resulting sensation from groping Iris's chest is more than enough to calm Ash down. Then Iris steps aside, and Dawn is next to let him feel her chest. He gropes hers for a little bit, then he feels May's boobs, all the while becoming more "excited." Finally, he fondles Misty's breasts. And while he does so, Dawn unzips, unbuttons and pulls down Ash's pants, revealing his underwear.

"You really are happy to see us, aren't ya?" Iris teases. Ash blushes, then becomes a bit nervous as May approaches him. Noticing this, she puts both his arms around Ash and croons, "Just relax. It's okay, you'll love this." Then, she kneels down, takes a hold of Ash's underwear and gently slips it down, revealing a giant temple of masculine flesh.

"Wow, Ash," says Misty. "I didn't know you were so hung!"

Ash says nothing as the girls gather around close to him. Misty, standing in front of him, puts her arms around Ash and plants another kiss on him, this time including her tongue into the equation. Right when he gets into the mood with this, he feels another tongue; this one is licking his wood. It's May's tongue. Soon, his manhood is completely enveloped in her mouth, which sucks on it as if it were a lollipop. Then, he feels yet another tongue, Dawn's tongue. Her's is amorously licking Ash's anus as her hands grope on his buttocks. And Iris is standing right behind Ash, with her arms wrapped around him, rubbing his bare chest. Her lips are covering his neck with kisses. Amidst all this physical intimacy, Ash shudders constantly as lustful senations consume him with each intimate move...

"Ah, ah, AHH!" Ash moans. Knowing what this means, Misty and May step aside. Ash lets out one more big moan as the white sticky load is shot upwards from his organ like a missile from a SAM launcher, flying halfway across the room before landing on the floor. The girls all giggle some more as Ash lays down on the bed to relax.

"Well, that... that was wild!" Ash remarks.

"Oh, it ain't over yet!" May winks. Without hesitation, she crawls up onto the bed and stands on her knees over Ash, positioning her moist genitals directly over Ash's face. "Bon appetit, Ash-y boy!" May teases.

Assuming he knows what she wants, Ash sticks out his tongue and slowly, smoothly swipes it on the area surrounding May's clitoris. "Oh, yeah, that's the spot!" May says softly as Ash continues to massage her Rubix cube with his salivary organ, making it more and more engorged with time. When it's as engorged as it can be, Ash gently pulls away the flap of skin covering the clitoris, and begins to lick it with great vigor. May moans constantly as she gets closer and closer to the breaking point. Then, without warning, she screams aloud and her body jerks as she climaxes.

"Wow, I didn't know you were such a ravenous animal," May giggles. "Get in line, girls!"

And so Ash gives the rest of the girls their oral treatment; Iris gets hers right after May, then it's Misty, and finally, Dawn. Each one orgasms more intensely than the one before her...

After each girl has got theirs, they all get up on the bed with Ash and gather around him. To get him aroused again, May uses her hands to massage Ash's love muscle. When it's fully erect, the girls all get into position, and then the cream of the crop begins! Right off the bat, Dawn starts to cover Ash's bare chest with kisses all over, while Iris pulls off an incredibly acrobatic combo move; she licks Ash's inner thighs while massaging the soles of both his feet. At the same time, Misty gets a second treatment of sweet oral love on her intimate area, while May rides on Ash's big, hard member, moving in a grinding motion that gets it right on her g-spot, making her shudder as she experiences pleasures greater than she experienced before. And as for Ash, he simply lies there and takes it all, with a sense of great wonderment in his mind. Here he was, with all these girls with whom he'd traveled with on separate occasions battling Pokemon. And they were all quadruple-teaming him, right here, right now. Never would he ever thought that experience this intense, lustful pleasure that he was feeling right now...

For 8 whole minutes, the quadruple teaming goes on. May and Misty have experienced several orgasms during this time. And now, Ash has his, releasing a huge load into May. He screams a scream of passion as he shoots. Then, he lets out a long sigh of satisfaction, lying flat on his back as if knocked out. The girls, seizing the chance, all share the moment with him by snuggling up to him...

After the long cuddling session, they pull apart; Ash then sits up and says, "Well, this has been... more amazing... than I could've ever imagined! But... why?"

Misty nervously blushes and says, "Well, neither of us ever admitted it, but we've all had HUGE crushes on you!"

"And we were always fighting over which one of us deserved you the most; that got us nowhere," May explains.

"So we decided to settle it once and for all by quadruple-teaming you, and letting you decide which one of us is the best!" adds Dawn.

"Well, the whole thing was my idea," notes Iris. "So, I guess you're gonna pick one of us, now?"

Ash looks back and forth between Misty, May, Dawn and Iris, all of whom are smiling upon him as if to say, "Please choose me!" He remembers all of the fun times he'd had with each one on their Pokemon journeys, and he knew they all liked him all along, but not like that! And ESPECIALLY not that much! When all of these factors are finally summed up together into his head;

"Oh, who am I kidding, I could never shut any one of you out!" Ash says. He spreads his arms wide as he proclaims "I love you all!"

The girls all let out a collective "Awwww!" as they surround Ash and envelop him in their hugs. "We love you too, Ash!" they all say as they cover Ash with kisses, making him blush harder than he has all night.

After that moment, Ash gets up, finds his underwear, puts it back on and says to the girls, "Well, as much as I don't want this to end... it's late, and I'm beat! I need some shut-eye!"

"Oh, that's alright," Iris replies coolly as they all put their bathrobes back on. "I'm a bit tired myself," she shrugs.

"Here, let us help you!" offers Dawn.

The girls all take hold of the bed sheets and pull them back for Ash; he lies down, in nothing but his underwear, and the girls all tuck him in very sweetly. Ash says to them, "And I think it would be best if Brock and Cilan didn't know about this - especially Brock. He'd murder me!"

The girls all nod as he says this. Then, he tells them, "And remember, we're all great Quidditch players; the best in Japan, maybe even the league! And the Tokyo Tengu WILL come out on top - count on it!"

"You always know out to make us optimistic," complements Misty. "That's one of many reasons why we love you so much."

"Well, good night, Ash-y boy!" says May as she gives him one last kiss on the lips. Misty, Dawn and Iris all follow suit.

"Goodnight, girls!" says Ash. Misty, May, Dawn and Iris all return their smiles as they turn off the lights, leave the room and shut the door behind him, and Ash closes his eyes and slips into peaceful slumber...

Meanwhile, under his bed, is Pikachu. He's been there the whole time, he's heard it all. And now, he's quivering with horror. Hearing all of the kissing, the moaning and the orgasming has been a terrifying experience for him; quite possibly traumatic...


	34. Week 12 Prologue

** Week 12 match-ups;**

**Charlotte Hallows vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Osaka Oni**

**London Chimeras vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Miami Goblins vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Paris Veela**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**New England Griffins vs Washington Ministry**

**New York Dragons vs Columbus Pixies**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Los Angeles Undead**

**San Francisco Seers vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Seattle Vampires vs Denver Dementors**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Atlanta Owls**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Montreal Manticores**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Rome Fairies**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

** Game of the Week; Minnesota Wormtails vs Oklahoma Orcs**

** See you in Oklahoma!**


	35. Week 12 Minnesota vs Oklahoma

** Week 12 Game of the Week; Minnesota Wormtails vs Oklahoma Orcs.**

** Team rosters;**

**Minnesota Wormtails**

** Chaser: Pops Malleard (#29)**

** Chaser: High Five Ghost (#21)**

** Chaser: Thomas (#9)**

** Beater: Skips (#74)**

** Beater: Mitch Sorenstein (#64)**

** Keeper: Mordecai [C] (#23)**

** Seeker: Rigby (#32)**

** Coach: Benson**

**Oklahoma Orcs**

** Chaser: Finn [C] (#43)**

** Chaser: Princess Bubblegum (#18)**

** Chaser: Lady Rainicorn (#34)**

** Beater: Flame Princess (#22)**

** Beater: The Lich (#32)**

** Keeper: Marceline The Vampire Queen (#75)**

** Seeker: Jake (#27)**

** Coach: The Ice King**

** Tuning to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Welcome back to Cartoon Quidditch on FOX! We've just passed the halfway mark in the regular season - absurd stuff has happened, from superhero powers to alien transformations, even to the Killing Curse! We'll be starting the second half of this insane season from the Sooner State, and Oklahoma City! We're glad you could join us, as the Oklahoma Orcs are hosting the Minnesota Wormtails! I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Hermione: Man, I really cannot believe what we've seen so far; all of these characters have just been so ruthlessly barbaric towards each other! Just last week, one of the Keepers last week actually died!

Ron: Kenny's always reincarnated for the next episode, Hermione. You can do pretty much anything you want to him and get away with it.

Hermione: That doesn't make it right!

Madden: Anyway, moving on to this week; right now, the Minnesota Wormtails are in one hell of a pickle; not only are they last in the National East, they have one of the two worst records in the league! The Oklahoma Orcs, on the other hand, are tied with the Dallas Hippogriffs for the lead in that same division, which would certainly get them a spot in the playoffs.

Harry: Yeah, and they have a couple of players with special powers; the Flame Princess, one of their Beaters - that's self-explanatory. And their other Beater, The Lich - is a sorcerer! I can't wait to see what spells he uses here!

Michaels: We're about to find out...

Hermione: Oh, God...

...

Finn: Alright guys, WHAT TIME IS IT?!

Jake: ADVENTURE TIME!

Rainicorn: Actually, it's Quidditch time.

Bubblegum: But playing Quidditch is an adventure, don't you think?

Finn: You know what, I think we'll go with that. GO ORCS!

**The Bludgers are up, followed by the Golden Snitch. As they all fly their separate ways, the Minnesots Wormtails and Oklahoma Orcs exchange glances, each saying they're gonna kick the other team's ass. Then, the Quaffle is tossed up...**

Michaels: The 2nd half of the Quidditch regular season is underway!

** Finn and Thomas get their hands on the Quaffle and start to squabble over it like little kids.**

Thomas: Let go already, retard!

Finn: No way, man! Wormtails suck!

**Then, Finn is able to wrench the Quaffle out from Thomas's grip. He promptly passes it to Lady Rainicorn before anyone else can get to him.**

** As The Lich knocks away a Bludger that was headed for her, Rainicorn continues on to the Minnesota goal. The High Five Ghost makes a run at her, but comes up empty. Then, Lady Rainicorn shoots;**

Michaels: And Lady Rainicorn SCORES! 10 points to the Oklahoma Orcs!

Rainicorn: YAY!

Finn: You were awesome, Rainicorn!

Madden: Of course, Lady Rainicorn is technically a magical creature, so she had the upper hand here. Notice she does the old-fashioned snake-eyes trick on Mordecai; fakes left, then throws right. Real clever move on her part.

**After Lady Rainicorn puts the Orcs up 10-0, Mordecai takes the Quaffle and throws it to Pops Malleard.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Las Vegas, Nevada, where the Las Vegas Night Elves are hosting the Portland Parselmouths. Neither team has scored yet. Lisa Simpson has the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths, but then Daria Morgendorffer pulls up alongside trying to take it away, tries to elbow it out of her arms, and for that, gets hit with a Cobbing call.**_

_Daria: Oh come on! I was going for the ball, not her!_

_**Lisa Simpson scores on the subsequent penalty shot, and the Parselmouths go up 10-0.**_

__**BACK TO OKLAHOMA**

Michaels: SCORE! We're tied at 10!

High Five Ghost: High five, Pops!

Both: Yeah!

**With surprisingly minimal resistance, Pops Malleard manages to quickly make it to the Oklahoma goal and score, tying the game at 10.**

** Marceline the Vampire Queen throws the Quaffle to Finn after the goal.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: Rigby the Raccoon is already after the Snitch!

Harry: He just better watch out for Jake the dog.

Ron: Not to mention Oklahoma's Beaters... they'll kick his ass so hard it'll make his head spin!

**As the Oklahoma Orcs get the Quaffle back, Rigby has set out after the Golden Snitch for the Minnesota Wormtails. The Snitch has very feisty movements, making it very difficult to catch. Not only that...**

Michaels: He ALMOST got hit with that Bludger!

Hermione: I don't even want to imagine what could've happened there!

**The Lich hits a Bludger towards Rigby, which barely misses. This disorients Rigby, and throws him off the Snitch's trail.**

** Meanwhile, Finn has the Quaffle for the Oklahoma Orcs. Mitch Sorenstein hits a Bludger at him, but it ends up almost hitting Thomas, who was going after Finn, but is forced to break off.**

** Finn approaches the Minnesota goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Mordecai!

Mordecai: You Orcs piss me off!

Finn: Hmph!

**Mordecai manages to keep the Quaffle from going in the hoop, keeping the game tied at 10. He then throws the Quaffle to the High Five Ghost.**

** He's then forced to pass it to Thomas when Princess Bubblegum makes a rush at him. Thomas then passes it to Pops Malleard. The Flame Princess then intervenes, but not by beating a Bludger...**

All: OH!

Benson: Timeout, dammit!

Madden: The Flame Princess just unloaded on Pops Malleard!

Hermione: Have these referees not learned a thing from the first half of this season?

Harry: (facepalm)

**Before Pops Malleard can make any more moves, the Flame Princess unleashes a torrent of fire on him that knocks him off his broom. Benson, coach of the Minnesota Wormtails, calls timeout.**

Benson: Get up, maggot!

Thomas: It's okay. I'm alright.

Rigby: More like faggot, am I right?

Rigby/Mordecai: (giggling)

Benson: Alright, listen up, guys; they have a human torch and a sorcerer, while we have no special abilities of our own. What we need to do is keep them away from our goal, and Rigby, catch that Snitch before they do, or before they get too many goals. Now LET'S GO WORMTAILS!

**The Minnesota Wormtails remount and regroup, the timeout is terminated and the game resumes.**

** Shortly thereafter;**

Michaels: Looks like Jake the dog is already after the Snitch!

Ron: If he can get on the Snitch that quick, then the Wormtails are in real serious trouble!

**Just after the game gets back underway from the timeout, Jake the dog sets his course in pursuit of the Golden Snitch for the Oklahoma Orcs. He quickly catches up to it, but he too finds it extremely difficult to catch. Just as he's about to catch it...**

Michaels: Wait, we have a penalty whistle out!

Madden: Hmmm, I thought I saw Finn and Lady Rainicorn both in the scoring area at the same time.

Hermione: That's a Stooging on Oklahoma!

**Finn and Lady Rainicorn are flying side-by-side; Finn has the Quaffle. Both enter the Minnesota scoring area, but that's when the penalty whistle is blown. The action is halted as the referee makes the call;**

Referee: Stooging. Oklahoma, #34 and #43. Penalty shot for Minnesota!

Finn: I'm sorry, Rainicorn.

Rainicorn: That's alright, Finn. (kisses Finn on forehead)

**The Oklahoma Orcs get hit with a Stooging penalty, and the Minnesota Wormtails get a penalty shot. The High Five Ghost will make the shot, while Marceline the Vampire Queen will defend;**

Michaels: And Marceline saves it!

High Five Ghost: Oh, damn!

Pops: Oh well. High-five, anyway?

Both: Yeah!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, where the Montreal Manticores are hosting the Tokyo Tengu. The score is 50-10, Montreal. Jude Lizowski is chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Montreal Manticores, with Ash Ketchum flying a ways behind him. Just as Jude is about to catch the Snitch;**_

_Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!_

_..._

_**Ash's Pokemon Pikachu uses a Thunderbolt attack on Jude Lizowski, knocking him off his broom. Ash goes on to catch the Snitch, and the Tokyo Tengu defeat the Montreal Manticores, 160-50.**_

__**BACK TO OKLAHOMA**

** Marceline the Vampire Queen throws the Quaffle to Princess Bubblegum; Pops Malleard takes it for the Wormtails, then Lady Rainicorn takes it back for the Orcs, and the two teams continue to squabble over the Quaffle, with neither side making any progress. Skips hits a Bludger at them, but it completely misses without any side effects.**

** Meanwhile, Jake and Rigby have both resumed chasing after the Golden Snitch. The two are side-by-side, ramming each other, trying to take each other out. The Lich then sees an opportunity to help Jake out;**

Lich: Stupefy!

...

All: OH!

Harry: He just stunned his own Seeker!

Ron: What a bloody idiot!

Madden: He just cost them the game!

Hermione: They should kick him off the team for that!

Lich: (double facepalm)

**The Lich casts a stunning spell, which is aimed at Rigby, but it ends up hitting Jake instead, knocking him off his broom, unconcious.**

** The Ice King, coach of the Oklahoma Orcs, is about to call timeout, but before he can...**

Michaels: It's over! Rigby has the Snitch! Wormtails win!

Hermione: They just got lucky because the other teams Beater screwed up!

Rigby: YYYEAHH!

**After Jake is stunned, Rigby goes on to catch the Golden Snitch; thus, the Minnesota Wormtails defeat the Oklahoma Orcs 160-10.**

** As the Wormtails celebrate the win and the disappointed Oklahoma home crowd leaves the stadium, the Oklahoma Orcs confront their Beater;**

Ice King: You cost us the game, fucker!

Lich: I was aiming for the raccoon, dammit!

Marceline: You clearly cannot point and shoot correctly, you dipshit!

Finn: Oh come on, guys! Let's just get Jake out of here.

**After ending the argument, Finn and Lady Rainicorn pick up Jake and carry him off of the field.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Charlotte Hallows - 10; New Orleans Dark Mark - 240**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 30; Kansas City Inferi - 240**

**Dallas Hippogriffs - 190; St. Louis Serpents - 70**

**Detroit Unicorns - 170; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 80**

**Houston Horcruxes - 30; Louisville Phantoms - 220**

**Kyoto Kappa - 230; Osaka Oni - 90**

**London Chimeras - 150; Toronto Salamanders - 30**

**Miami Goblins - 10; Richmond Werewolves - 180**

**Milan Witchhunters - 80; Paris Veela - 160**

**New England Griffins - 50; Washington Ministry - 210**

**New York Dragons - 170; Columbus Pixies - 40**

**Nashville Basilisks - 0; Birmingham War Pigs - 240**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 200; Indiana Slughorns - 60**

**Portland Parselmouths - 230; Las Vegas Night Elves - 0**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 0; Los Angeles Undead - 150**

**San Francisco Seers - 70; Arizona Phoenixes - 160**

**Seattle Vampires - 40; Denver Dementors - 180**

**Tampa Bay Trolls - 210; Atlanta Owls - 30**

**Tokyo Tengu - 160; Montreal Manticores - 50**

**Toulouse Sphinxes - 50; Rome Fairies - 190**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 10; Mexico City Chupacabras - 220**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (8-4)**

** Washington Ministry (7-5)**

** Miami Goblins (6-6)**

** Richmond Werewolves (6-6)**

** North Division**

** Columbus Pixies (8-4)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (8-4)**

** New York Dragons (6-6)**

** Indiana Slughorns (3-9)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (8-4)**

** Louisville Phantoms (6-6)**

** Houston Horcurxes (4-8)**

** Nashville Basilisks (4-8)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (8-4)**

** Seattle Vampires (7-5)**

** Los Angeles Undead (5-7)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (4-8)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (7-5)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (6-6)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-8)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (3-9)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (7-5)**

** Kansas City Inferi (7-5)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (5-7)**

** Detroit Unicorns (3-9)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (8-4)**

** Atlanta Owls (6-6)**

** Charlotte Hallows (6-6)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (6-6)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (9-3)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (6-6)**

** San Francisco Seers (6-6)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (5-7)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (7-5)**

** London Chimeras (7-5)**

** Rome Fairies (6-6)**

** Paris Veela (4-8)**

** Milan Witchhunters (3-9)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (8-4)**

** Toronto Salamanders (7-5)**

** Kyoto Kappa (6-6)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (5-7)**

** Osaka Oni (5-7)**

** Montreal Manticores (4-8)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (3-9)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger... good night, everyone!


	36. Week 13 Prologue

**Week 13 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Atlanta Owls vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs New York Dragons**

**Columbus Pixies vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Houston Horcuxes**

**Denver Dementors vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Paris Veela**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs London Chimeras**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Miami Goblins**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Montreal Manticores vs Osaka Oni**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Rome Fairies vs Detroit Unicorns**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs New England Griffins**

**San Francisco Seers vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Seattle Vampires**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Washington Ministry vs Tokyo Tengu**

** Game of the Week; San Francisco Seers vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

** See you in Milwaukee!**


	37. Week 13 San Francisco vs Milwaukee

**Week 13 Game of the Week; San Francisco Seers vs Milwaukee Death Eaters.**

** Team rosters;**

**San Francisco Seers**

** Chaser: Katara (#34)**

** Chaser: Sokka (#38)**

** Chaser: Suki (#38)**

** Beater: Zuko (#73)**

** Beater: Azula (#61)**

** Keeper: Toph (#59)**

** Seeker: Aang [C] (#26)**

** Coach: Iroh**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters**

** Chaser: Billy (#60)**

** Chaser: Mandy (#57)**

** Chaser: Irwin (#73)**

** Beater: Mindy (#65)**

** Beater: Sperg (#56)**

** Keeper: Grim [C] (#7)**

** Seeker: Pud'n (#55)**

** Coach: General Skarr**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Welcome back, Quidditch fans! We're coming at you live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, for what should be yet another intense and exciting Quidditch match-up! Thanks for being with us as the Milwaukee Death Eaters are setting up to square off against the San Francisco Seers! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels - and with me as always; John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Hermione: You know what, I'll just come right out with it - I'm against the Death Eaters for this one! You remember what they did to the Philadelphia Thestrals after Week 8! Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they showed up right here, right now to kick their asses!

Harry: Not bloody likely. Remember, they're playing the Richmond Werewolves at home today?

Ron: Well, yes, but they could go back in time and Apparate in here, or something freaky.

Madden: Alright, we're getting off the topic here; since you guys seem so against Milwaukee... I'm for them!

Michaels: That's enough, you guys; the game's about to start.

...

Billy: I'm scared, Mandy! These guys have scary powers and they could tear us all apart!

Mandy: (puts arm around Billy) Don't sweat it! These guys aren't so tough!

Grim: Yeah, those Seers will meet their doom! (evil laughter)

**In time, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are all released, and they fly to spots where they will be out of sight from any and all of the players. When that's done, the Quaffle is tossed into the sky by the referee.**

Michaels: It's on in Milwaukee!

**Mandy grabs hold of the Quaffle with a vengeance. Zuko attempts to hit a Bludger at her, but it misses and ends up almost hitting Katara.**

**Before Sokka or Suki can reach her, Mandy has already entered the scoring area to the San Francisco goal;**

Michaels: 10 points to the Milwaukee Death Eaters!

Mandy: (sneering) All too easy!

Billy: YAY, we scored!

Madden: I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't tell if Milwaukee was playing that good, or if San Francisco was playing that bad.

Hermione: (shrug) Maybe it was some of both.

**Mandy scores a really quick goal, putting the Milwaukee Death Eaters into a 10-0 lead.**

** Toph then throws the Quaffle to Katara, but she's forced to pass it to Sokka as she narrowly dodges a Bludger that is hit by Sperg.**

**Irwin makes a run at Sokka, but he's unable to get his hands on the Quaffle. Sokka then approaches the Milwaukee goal;**

Grim: Confundus!

…

Michaels: He missed that shot horribly!

Sokka: How… what just happened?

Madden: Looked like he was trying to shoot at another hoop, or pass it to a teammate.

Hermione: No, Grim used a damn Confundus Charm!

Ron: How can you be so bloody sure?

Hermione: You saw him with his scythe!

Harry: (facepalm)

**Right as Sokka is about to shoot, Grim hits him with a Confundus Charm, putting Sokka in a state of confusion, and making him miss the shot horribly. Meanwhile, Irwin recovers the Quaffle for the Death Eaters.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

___**This Game Break takes place in Portland, Oregon, where the Portland Parselmouths are hosting the Columbus Pixies. The score is tied at 10. Bart Simpson has the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths, but then…**_

_Cosmo: Relashio!_

_**Cosmo uses a Revulsion Jinx on Bart to make him let go of the Quaffle. It is then picked up by Wanda, who scores quickly and puts the Columbus Pixies up 20-10.**_

__**BACK TO MILWAUKEE**

** Irwin, surprisingly, faces little resistance from San Francisco. Neither Katara, Sokka, nor Suki are within range; the same goes for the Bludgers. Suddenly, Zuko and Azula, brother and sister, and Beaters for the San Francisco Seers, get an idea;**

** It just so happens that Zuko and Azula are part of a race of psychokinetic humans known as "Fire Benders;" they have the ability to conjure fire out of thin air and manipulate it however they see fit. Together, they conjure up two separate fireballs from their hands, and meld them together into one big fireball. As Irwin is heading towards their team's goal, they hurl this fireball at him…**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: That's an understatement; they just destroyed his broom!

Skarr: TIMEOUT, GODDAMMIT!

Hermione: Oh, they're gonna get kicked out for sure!

Harry: Yeah, you'd really fancy that, wouldn't you?

Hermione: Damn right!

**Zuko and Azula's fireball scores a direct hit on Irwin; the size and force of it not only sends Irwin falling to the ground, it also blasts his broom to bits. Irwin lands on the ground with a thud, and lies there, the bits and pieces of the broom scattered around him.**

**General Skarr, coach of the Milwaukee Death Eaters, calls timeout. As Irwin staggers to his feet, his teammates converge upon him.**

Irwin: I'm alright, but my broom his toast! What're we gonna do?

Grim: I got it. (raises scythe) Reparo!

…

Irwin: My… my broom! It's fixed!

Grim: (shrug) It's the least I could do.

Skarr: Excellent! Now let's get back out there, and show those Seers what happens when you fuck with the Death Eaters!

**Grim uses a Repairing Charm to put Irwin's broom back together, Irwin remounts, General Skarr calls off the timeout, and the game resumes.**

** Suki comes up with the Quaffle this time around. Meanwhile…**

Michaels: Looks like Pud'n has started after the Snitch.

Madden: That's incredible to think, considering the fact that Pud'n is… how do I put this… a wimpy kid.

Harry: Maybe, but he is pretty fast and agile and all the rest.

Hermione: Still, I don't think he was Milwaukee's best choice for a Seeker.

Ron: Amen to that!

**While the two teams go back and forth between possession of the Quaffle, Pud'n goes out after the Golden Snitch for the Milwaukee Death Eaters for the first time in this game. His speed, quickness, and agility enable him to gain ground on the Snitch relatively quickly. However, his wimpiness and cowardice keep him from actually making an effort to put a hand out and at least TRY to catch it…**

** As Pud'n continues to pursue the Snitch…**

Michaels: 20-0, Milwaukee!

Billy: YAY, I did it! I made a goal!

Mandy: That was pretty awesome, Billy.

Madden: Now I'm starting to have my doubts on San Francisco; all these guys are incredibly super-powered, yet they haven't really made good on it – sure, they used that fireball earlier, but it hasn't really helped them much, if at all.

Hermione: Proof that you don't need crazy superpowers in order to win! Ha!

Ron: (shakes head)

**Billy scores a goal to extend the Milwaukee Death Eaters' lead up to 20-0.**

** Toph throws the Quaffle at Katara's direction, but Irwin intercepts it...**

Toph: HEY, what the fu-

…

Michaels: And just like that, it's 30-0, Death Eaters!

Mandy: Well, I gotta hand it to ya, that was pretty impressive.

Irwin: 'Bout time you saw how great I am! (cat calls)

Mandy: Don't push it!

**After intercepting the Quaffle, Irwin immediately shoots at the goal, catching Toph off guard. It goes through the hoop, and just like that, the Milwaukee Death Eaters are leading 30-0.**

** Toph is then able to get the Quaffle to Katara. It may look bleak for the San Francisco Seers, but there may be hope for them just yet…**

Michaels: And Aang looks like he's caught on to the Snitch!

Ron: 'Bout bloody time – they've really been getting their asses kicked!

Madden: Of course, he's still behind Pud'n, but remember, he is a wimpy kid, after all.

Harry: You never know, John.

**While the rest of his team continues to have a rough time, Aang proceeds to give chase on the Snitch for the San Francisco Seers. However, Pud'n, despite his wimpiness and cowardice, is able to go fast enough to keep Aang behind him, thus, for the moment, saving the game for his team.**

** While Aang and Pud'n continue their Chase, the rest of the game has seemed to come into a stalemate. At one point, Billy has possession of the Quaffle, then Katara snaps it up, then Mandy gets it back, then Sokka snatches it, then it's Irwin, then it's Suki… they keep this up for a while, only to be occasionally broken up by a Bludger, nobody gets hit by these Bludgers, either…**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the Richmond Werewolves. Wallabee Beetles has just caught the Golden Snitch to gain the Thestrals a 190-20 win. However, as the Philadelphia home crowd cheers wildly for the win, the Thestrals maintain a serious vibe. They gather into a V formation, drawing an assortment of guns that they've been carrying on them;**_

_Nigel: Everyone ready?_

_Hoagie: Ready as I'll ever be._

_Wally: Those fuckers are going to pay!_

_Rachel: Alright then; Philadelphia Thestrals, BATTLE STATIONS!_

_**And with that, they all pick their noses and teleport away…**_

**BACK TO MILWAUKEE**

…

Ron: What the bloody hell is that?

Michaels: Uh, those are strange-looking figures flying out in the distance, and there coming right for us!

Madden: What are they?

Hermione: Let me have a look.

**As the game rolls on, still at a stalemate, the commentators observe a group of strange figures in the distance, flying towards the stadium. Hermione gets out a pair of Omnioculars to get a better look. When she gets a sight on these flying figures, she gasps in shock.**

Harry: Well, what are they?

Hermione: Thestrals.

Ron: You mean actual Thestrals?

Hermione: No, I mean the Philadelphia Thestrals- oh my God, they've got guns!

Madden: What the hell would another Quidditch team be doing, barging in like this?

Hermione: I think I have an idea…

**It is discovered that the flying figures headed towards the stadium are in fact the Philadelphia Thestrals; Nigel Uno, Hoagie Gilligan, Kuki Sanban, Wally Beetles, Abigail Lincoln, Cree Lincoln, Fanny Fullbright and Rachel McKenzie. They're here for this reason; a few weeks ago, the Milwaukee Death Eaters publically humiliated them in a hotel in Milwaukee, and now Philadelphia is out for revenge! All of them are armed with laser blasters to attack the Death Eaters with. But before they do anything else, Wally Beetles, who's also armed with an elephant tranquilizer gun, takes it and aims it;**

Michaels: They just shot the damn referee!

Madden: What the hell are these kids thinking?

Hermione: Vengeance against the Death Eaters, you idiot!

**As the referee immediately falls unconscious under the elephant tranquilizer, Wally drops the tranquilizer gun and draws his laser blaster. Then, the Thestrals descend upon the stadium and attack;**

Michaels: What the-

Madden: They're attacking the Death Eaters like a pack of wild dogs!

Hermione: STOP THE DAMN MATCH! SOMEONE STOP THE MATCH AND GET THOSE FUCKERS OUTTA HERE!

Michaels: We're still on the air, Hermione!

Hermione: I DON"T GIVE A SHIT!

**Without mercy, the Philadelphia Thestrals unload on the Milwaukee Death Eaters. Irwin tries to fly away, but Hoagie Gilligan shoots his broom down with his blaster. Mindy and Sperg try to hit them with Bludgers, but they both miss. They get shot in the chest by Cree Lincoln and Fanny Fullbright.**

** Billy also tries to fly for cover, but Wally Beetles catches up to him and pistol-whips him across the face, knocking him off his broom. Wally then gets hit by a punch in the side of the head by Mandy.**

Mandy: Nobody hurts Billy but me!

Wally: Whatever, bitch!

**Mandy tries to wrench Wally's blaster out of his hand, but Wally manages to shoot her in the hand and fly away before she can do anything else. Her broom is then shot down by Kuki Sanban.**

**Grim, meanwhile, has been launching various spells, including Immobilizing Charms, Knockback Jinxes and Hurling Hexes at the Thestrals, trying to counterattack. All of them miss. Meanwhile, through all of this, Pud'n is, amazingly, still going after the Snitch when…**

Michaels: Whoa, Pud'n just got hit by his own teammate, now he's stopped moving!

Hermione: That was an Immobolizing Charm! That's somethingthey could've-

Madden: HE'S JUST BEEN SHOT DOWN!

Ron: Bloody hell, how much worse can this get?

Harry: I don't know what's worse; the riot at the Quidditch World Cup, or this!

**Grim accidently hits Pud'n with an Immobilizing Charm, leaving him unable to move. Nigel Uno shoots Pud'n in the stomach, and then Abigail Lincoln shoots his broom, effectively taking him out.**

** Meanwhile, throughout all of this, the San Francisco Seers have managed to stay untouched. Most of them managed to take cover outside of the pitch's boundary lines… except for Aang; he was still chasing the Snitch throughout all of this. Suddenly, he catches it. Upon seeing this, Rachel McKenzie flies down to the unconscious referee, takes the whistle and blows it, signaling the end of the game.**

Michaels: Aang has the Snitch! It's over! San Francisco wins!

Hermione: THEY DID NOT WIN ANYTHING! THIS WAS NO GAME! THIS WAS A DAMN MASSACRE!

Harry: Don't you think we know that?

Hermione: Hey, YOU were the one who said it wasn't likely – NOW look what's happened!

**And so the San Francisco Seers defeat the Milwaukee Death Eaters 150-30. They quickly retreat into the locker room, afraid the Thestrals may attack them, too (even though that wasn't their plan). No cheering or booing takes place; all the fans have already evacuated the scene.**

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes; 170 - Milan Witchhunters; 60**

**Atlanta Owls; 10 - Minnesota Wormtails; 150**

**Birmingham War Pigs; 180 - New York Dragons; 50**

**Columbus Pixies; 30 - Portland Parselmouths; 160**

**Dallas Hippogriffs; 210 - Houston Horcuxes; 20**

**Denver Dementors; 150 - Charlotte Hallows; 0**

**Indiana Slughorns; 180 - Paris Veela; 10**

**Las Vegas Night Elves; 20 - London Chimeras; 180**

**Los Angeles Undead; 70 - Miami Goblins; 180**

**Mexico City Chupacabras; 40 - Louisville Phantoms; 220**

**Montreal Manticores; 0 - Osaka Oni; 250**

**New Orleans Dark Mark; 230 - Kansas City Inferi; 70**

**Oklahoma Orcs; 200 - Nashville Basilisks; 60**

**Richmond Werewolves; 20 - Philadelphia Thestrals; 190**

**Rome Fairies; 50 - Detroit Unicorns; 190**

**San Antonio Centaurs; 40 - New England Griffins; 19****0**

**St. Louis Serpents; 20 - Chicago Fire Crabs; 160**

**Tampa Bay Trolls; 160 - Seattle Vampires; 90**

**Toronto Salamanders; 230 - Vancouver Grindylows; 70**

**Toulouse Sphinxes; 50 - Kyoto Kappa; 200**

**Washington Ministry; 160 - Tokyo Tengu; 60**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

**New England Griffins (9-4)**

**Washington Ministry (8-5)**

**Miami Goblins (7-6)**

**Richmond Werewolves (6-7)**

** North Division**

**Philadelphia Thestrals (9-4)**

** Columbus Pixies (8-5)**

**New York Dragons (6-7)**

** Indiana Slughorns (4-9)**

** South Division**

**Birmingham War Pigs (9-4)**

**Louisville Phantoms (7-6)**

**Houston Horcurxes (4-9)**

**Nashville Basilisks (4-9)**

** West Division**

**Denver Dementors (9-4)**

**Seattle Vampires (7-6)**

**Los Angeles Undead (5-8)**

**San Antonio Centaurs (4-9)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

**Dallas Hippogriffs (8-5)**

**Oklahoma Orcs (7-6)**

**Minnesota Wormtails (4-9)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-9)**

** North Division**

**Chicago Fire Crabs (8-5)**

**Kansas City Inferi (7-6)**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters (5-8)**

** Detroit Unicorns (4-9)**

** South Division**

**Tampa Bay Trolls (9-4)**

**New Orleans Dark Mark (7-6)**

** Atlanta Owls (6-7)**

**Charlotte Hallows (6-7)**

** West Division**

**Portland Parselmouths (10-3)**

**Arizona Phoenixes (7-6)**

**San Francisco Seers (7-6)**

**Las Vegas Night Elves (5-8)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

**London Chimeras (8-5)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (7-6)**

**Rome Fairies (6-7)**

**Paris Veela (4-9)**

**Milan Witchhunters (3-10)**

** Pacific Division**

**Tokyo Tengu (8-5)**

**Toronto Salamanders (8-5)**

**Kyoto Kappa (7-6)**

**Osaka Oni (6-7)**

**Mexico City Chupacabras (5-8)**

**Montreal Manticores (4-9)**

**Vancouver Grindylows (3-10)**

Michaels: Uh, well, we have no further comment, uh, just tune back in next week, assuming this travesty hasn't put any of you off.

**Right after FOX goes off the air, as the Philadelphia Thestrals are flying away from the stadium;**

Grim: Avada Kedavra!

...

Thestrals: WALLY!


	38. Week 13 Aftermath

Wally Beetles jumps off his broom, evading Grim's Killing Curse by a mere fraction of an inch. He hits the ground with a thud – shaken, but unhurt. Kuki Sanban is able to catch his broom, and then she and the rest of the team go down to check on him.

"You alright?" asks a panicked Nigel.

"Yeah, I think so," mutters Wally as he stands up.

"You nearly died!" exclaims Kuki. Just as she says that, a shadow appears directly over them.

"Avada Kedavra!" Grim yells out. A blast of green light is shot out of his scythe. The Philadelphia Thestrals scatter; the Killing Curse barely misses. Had the curse been shot a fraction of a second earlier, it would've wiped out the entire team.

"We gotta get out of here NOW!" Rachel yells. With that, she and her teammates pick their noses...

"Confringo!" shouts Grim. But the Thestrals all teleport away before they're hit. The subsequent explosion from Grim's Blasting Curse knocks him all the way back to the other side of the stadium...

...

The Thestrals come out of teleportation at the Sector V tree house. They take a moment to catch their breaths.

"Alright," says Rachel. "Fanny, Cree and I are gonna bust outta here before any more crap happens!" She then walks up to Nigel, cups his face with her hands and says, "And please... be safe!"

"I will, Rachel," replies Nigel. "I promise."

The two share a brief kiss, then Rachel, Fanny and Cree (after giving Abigail a hug) mount on their brooms, bid their teammates goodbye, and fly off into the distance.

...

"So... now that we've had an extremely close brush with death," says Hoagie, "what should we do now?

"Hmmm," Nigel says, thinking. "I think we all need to unwind. Just relax, play video games, watch trash TV, eat junk food and forget about this damn day."

"I guess," Wally sighs.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kuki asks him.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" Wally hastily answers her. Let's just do whatever it is Nigel just said.

...

Sometime later that day, they find themselves gorging to their hearts' content on various different candies, including M&Ms, Snickers, Skittles, Twix, Milky Way, and many, many others. And since there's never anything good on daytime television, they instead elected to watch a couple of old Disney movies, which I'm too lazy to bother with identifying.

That evening, Hoagie breaks out his Xbox 360, hooks it up and inserts a copy of the video game _Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation_. Seeing as how all of their appetites for junk food have been satisfied, all of whom are focusing their attention here, having nothing better to do. Right now, Hoagie and Abby are playing each other in 2-player mode, in which they'll try and shoot down each other's aircraft. Despite Hoagie being very maneuverable in the fictional CFA-44 Nosferatu fighter, Abby is eventually able to shoot him down with her aircraft; the Russian Su-47 Berkut.

"How the hell did you pull that off?" Hoagie asks in astonishment.

"What can I say, I'm your better half," teases Abby. "Emphasis on _better_!" She pulls Hoagie in for a brief make-out session, then Hoagie asks Wally if he wants to take him on in 2-player mode.

"No thanks," says Wally. "Actually... I need some time alone."

"But you LOVE Ace Combat!" Hoagie protests.

"Yeah, but... I just need a moment," replies Wally. He very somberly walks alone to his bedroom after this moment.

Hoagie shrugs him off, then Nigel decides to go ahead and play him in Ace Combat.

...

Sometime later that evening, Kuki goes in to Wally's room to check on him. She sees him, still sitting on his bed, and very deep in thought. She plops down beside him, puts her arm around him and asks, "Hey, whatcha thinkin' about?"

Wally heaves a heavy sigh and says, "You said it yourself, Kuki. I nearly died! All of us almost died! And what I've been thinking about is... well... I don't think we've done enough!"

"What do you mean?" asks Kuki.

"I mean," explains Wally, "I don't think we've really taken the time to appreciate all that we've been through together." He heaves another heavy sigh. "And... I really don't think I've done enough to appreciate my companionship with you."

Never one to enjoy seeing her partner in such a state of discontent with himself, Kuki promptly wraps both of her arms around Wally, pulls him close and says softly, "Hey, it's okay. You've always been such a very kind and sweet person to me, and I believe you've done more than enough more me. I know you always will, and you know that I'll always love you."

Happy tears form in Wally's eyes as he looks at Kuki and says, "I love you too!" Kuki continues to gaze into Wally's eyes, her face bearing a smile so warm and sentimental that it makes Wally's heart want to jump. She then pulls Wally in for a very soft and tender make-out...

Then, as Kuki and Wally's shirts are about to be taken off, Abby's voice comes to them from outside the door, "Hey, you two! We got pizza!"

"Oh, boy!" they both say. Leaving their shirts on, they both join the others with the big pepperoni pizza they've gotten. After eating their hearts out, they spend the rest of the night watching trash TV, in the form of various shows which shall remain nameless. Then, they all quietly retire to bed...


	39. Week 14 Prologue

** Week 14 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Denver Dementors**

**Columbus Pixies vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Atlanta Owls**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Miami Goblins vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Montreal Manticores vs Toronto Salamanders**

**New England Griffins vs Seattle Vampires**

**New York Dragons vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Paris Veela vs Rome Fairies**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Washington Ministry**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs San Francisco Seers**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Osaka Oni**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs London Chimeras**

** Game of the Week; Montreal Manticores vs Toronto Salamanders.**

** See you in Toronto!**


	40. Week 14 Montreal vs Toronto

**Week 14 Game of the Week; Montreal Manticores vs Toronto Salamanders.**

** Team rosters;**

**Montreal Manticores**

** Chaser: Caitlin Cooke (#16)**

** Chaser: Jen Masterson (#07)**

** Chaser: Wyatt Williams (#56)**

** Beater: Nikki Wong [C] (#13)**

** Beater: Jonesy Garcia (#69)**

** Keeper: Starr (#57)**

** Seeker: Jude Lizowski (#75)**

** Coach: Coach Halder**

**Toronto Salamanders**

** Chaser: Gwen (#59)**

** Chaser: Heather [C] (#55)**

** Chaser: Lindsay (#84)**

** Beater: Duncan (#57)**

** Beater: Alejandro (#42)**

** Keeper: Owen (#75)**

** Seeker: Tyler (#70)**

** Coach: Chris McLean**

** Tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Welcome back to the World League of Cartoon Quidditch, eh? We have another international game for you guys today; this time, we're located just north of the border in Canada. We have two close rivals going at it here today, as the Toronto Salamanders will be hosting the Montreal Manticores. I'm Al Michaels, alongside John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: I'll have to go with Toronto. They're pretty much Canada's knight in shining armor right now, as they're in position to make the playoffs, along with the Tokyo Tengu. Whereas Montreal and Vancouver both have losing records, and I think Vancouver may have one of the worst records in the league right now, but that's beside the point. Point is, I'm picking the Salamanders to win this game.

Hermione: The best thing about this game is that no one has any crazy powers, weapons, OR gadgets! No cheating or foul play, just a nice, clean game!

Ron: (sarcastic) Yeah, that's cool.

Harry: (shrug) Oh well. It should be an interesting game either way. I'd like to see Montreal pull one out, since they are the underdogs and all.

Michaels: They're getting ready right now.

...

Nikki: Why did we even join this damn league? And I thought the Tacky Barn was miserable!

Jen: Oh, come on! We've tried hard and we're still dear friends.

Jonesy: Jen, shut up!

...

**The Bludgers and the Golden Snitch fly off to where they can't be seen by any of the players. Then, the referee takes the Quaffle and tosses it up in the air.**

Michaels: And we're underway in Canada, eh?

Hermione: That's not funny, Michael.

**The two teams squabble over the Quaffle for a short while. Eventually, it's Gwen who gains possession of the Quaffle for the Toronto Salamanders. Caitlin Cooke goes after her, but Alejandro hits a Bludger in her direction, forcing her to back away. With no further resistance, Gwen approaches the Manticores' goal;**

Michaels: 10 points to Toronto!

Duncan: That there is why I like you! (kisses Gwen)

Gwen: (giggle)

Madden: Now Starr is an incredibly fast Keeper, but she just got faked out here. Gwen fakes to the right goal to make her head in that direction, but then she shoots in the opposite direction, the ball goes through, and it's 10-0, Toronto.

**Starr throws the Quaffle back into play after the goal; it is caught by Wyatt Williams.**

** Wyatt proves to be incredibly fast on his broom; before the game, he drank several cups of coffee, making him very wired up. Both Gwen and Heather make a rush at him, but Wyatt zips by in between both of them before they can do anything.**

Heather: How the hell does he fly like that?

Gwen: (shrug) Must be special effects.

**Wyatt quickly approaches the Toronto goal...**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Charlotte, North Carolina, where the Charlotte Hallows are hosting the Detroit Unicorns. The score is 10-0, Detroit. Pinkie Pie has the Quaffle for the Detroit Unicorns, but then she gets knocked off her broom by a Bludger from Buford Van Stomm.**_

_Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash: PINKIE!_

_**While the other Chasers are distracted, Ferb Fletcher takes the Quaffle, shoots and scores, tying the game at 10.**_

**BACK TO TORONTO**

Michaels: SAVED by Owen!

Wyatt: Are you kidding me?

Owen: (laughing) That tickles!

Ron: The only reason that ball didn't go in is because their Keeper is fat, and Wyatt made the mistake of not shooting at another hoop. Just dumb luck right there!

**After blocking the shot, Owen throws the Quaffle to Heather.**

** Jen Masterson then pops up beside Heather in an effort to take the ball away. Heather lashes out at Jen with her elbow to try and repel her;**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle!

Madden: It looked like Heather did get her elbow involved there.

Harry: Yep, it's a Cobbing.

**The referee's call;**

Referee: Cobbing. Toronto, #55. Penalty shot for Montreal.

Heather: Oh come on! It's not even that big of a deal!

Jen: (sarcastic) Oh, sure.

**As Heather gets called for Cobbing, Jen Masterson is awarded a penalty shot for the Montreal Manticores. Owen will try to defend;**

Michaels: She SCORES, and we're tied at 10!

Jen: YYES!

Heather: Block the shots, you lard-ass!

**Jen Masterson scores on the penalty shot to tie the game at 10.**

** This time, it's Lindsay who gets the Quaffle for the Salamanders. Despite her general incompetance, she proves to be quite proficient as a Chaser. Duncan knocks away an incoming Bludger as she blasts right by Caitlin Cooke and Jen Masterson before they can get at the Quaffle. In no time, she makes it to the Montreal goal and shoots;**

Michaels: 20-10, Toronto!

Lindsay: Uh, did I just score?

Heather: Uh, yeah.

Lindsay: YAY!

**Lindsay scores a goal (though she doesn't realize it at first, putting the Salamanders back in the lead, 20-10.**

** As Starr throws the Quaffle back into play;**

Michaels: Whoa, look out; Tyler's gone after the Snitch!

Ron: Maybe, but he's nothing more than a talentless jock.

Harry: It's very ironic; and how he got on a Quidditch team, I'll never know.

**As his team retakes the lead, Tyler starts to chase after the Golden Snitch in an attempt to catch it and win the game for the Toronto Salamanders. However, he is very inept at Quidditch, and at sports in general. While he is able to catch up to the Snitch, his hand-eye coordination proves to be less than stellar, so even when the Snitch seems like it's going to fly right into his hand, every time he tries to make a grab at it, it quite literally slips through his fingers.**

Tyler: What the hell am I doing wrong?

**The rest of his team, however, doesn't appear to be doing so bad;**

Michaels: And Heather SCORES, and the Salamanders are up 30-10.

Lindsay: YAY!

Heather: Heh, 'bout time I scored.

Madden: I told you I picked the Salamanders to win. And aside from that penalty shot earlier, they've dominated this match.

Hermione: I don't know. Like Ron and Harry said, they have a very talentless Seeker. And I hear that Montreal has a very good Seeker; they've just had bad luck.

Madden: In my experience, there's no such thing as luck!

**Heather scores her first goal of the game, and the Toronto Salamanders extend their lead to 30-10.**

** As Montreal gets the Quaffle back;**

Michaels: Speak of the devil; Jude Lizowski's after the Snitch!

Madden: Here he comes; he and Tyler are side-by-side and their duking it out!

Hermione: Someone's going to commit a foul here.

Ron: How can you be so bloody sure?

Hermione: They always do!

**Jude Lizowski catches up to Tyler, and the two start to bump each other very hard, trying to knock each other off course. That's when Tyler grabs hold of the tail-end of Jude's broom;**

Michaels: Penalty whistle!

Hermione: I told you it would happen!

Madden: I did see Tyler grab the tail-end of Jude's broom...

Hermione: Blagging on Toronto!

**The referee's call;**

Referee: Blagging. Toronto, #70. Penalty shot for Montreal!

Tyler: I didn't even do anything!

Jude: You totally did, bro.

**Seeing as she hasn't made a shot at the goal, Caitlin Cooke volunteers to take the penalty shot for the Manticores;**

Michaels: Owen SAVES it!

Owen: (giggling) Stop ticking!

Harry: Montreal better catch that Snitch, and fast!

Madden: I still say Toronto wins.

**After the goal, Gwen gets the Quaffle for the Salamanders.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_**This Game Break takes place in Mexico City, where the Mexico City Chupacabras are hosting the Kyoto Kappa. The score is tied at 50. Manny Rivera is chasing the Snitch for the Chupacabras. He's about to catch the Snitch with his "grappling-hook" hand, but then he gets hit by a Bludger, courtesy of Mokuba Kaiba.**_

_**...**_

_**Eventually, Yugi Moto catches the Snitch, and the Kappa win, 200-50.**_

**BACK TO TORONTO**

**Just as soon as she gets the Quaffle, Jen Masterson steals it away and passes it to Wyatt Williams. Wyatt, however, is very sluggish on his broom right now.**

Nikki: Come on, what are you waiting for?

Wyatt: Damn, my coffee must be wearing off!

**Just then, a Bludger, courtesy of Jonesy Garcia, just narrowly misses Wyatt, disorienting him and making him drop the Quaffle. Heather picks it up.**

Heather: Game over, Manticores!

**As Heather flies toward the Salamanders' goal, Quaffle in hand, Caitlin Cooke makes a rush at her. She fails to get the Quaffle from her, as if an insult, as she flies directly over her, her broom's crossbar hooks Heather's skimpy halter-top...**

Heather: AAAA!

Michaels: Oh my God, we have a wardrobe malfunction!

Hermione: (slaps Ron and Harry) Dammit, stop staring!

**Meanwhile, as Tyler and Jude Lizowski continue to chase after the Golden Snitch;**

Tyler: (gasp) Boobies!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Heather's boobs distracted Tyler, he got hit with a Bludger... and Jude Lizowski has the Snitch! Manticores win!

Jude: YES! Finally! We needed that freakin' win!

Jonesy: Jude!

Jude: Dude!

**After the wardrobe malfunction and the resulting head shot, Jude Lizowski catches the Golden Snitch, and the Montreal Manticores defeat the Toronto Salamanders, 160-30.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes - 20; Nashville Basilisks - 170**

**Chicago Fire Crabs - 180; Denver Dementors - 60**

**Columbus Pixies - 70; New Orleans Dark Mark - 230**

**Detroit Unicorns - 50; Charlotte Hallows - 160**

**Kansas City Inferi - 240; Indiana Slughorns - 0**

**Kyoto Kappa ****-**** 200; Mexico City Chupacabras - 50**

**Los Angeles Undead - 190; Atlanta Owls - 10**

**Louisville Phantoms - 230; Las Vegas Night Elves - 50**

**Miami Goblins - 20; Oklahoma Orcs - 160**

**Milan Witchhunters - 90; Toulouse Sphinxes - 180**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters - 190; Richmond Werewolves; 10**

**Minnesota Wormtails - 0; Houston Horcruxes - 150**

**New England Griffins - 180; Seattle Vampires - 30**

**New York Dragons - 60; Dallas Hippogriffs - 150**

**Paris Veela - 40; Rome Fairies - 220**

**Philadelphia Thestrals - 30; Birmingham War Pigs - 240**

**Portland Parselmouths - 160; Washington Ministry - 40**

**San Antonio Centaurs - 50; San Francisco Seers - 240**

**St. Louis Serpents - 20; Tampa Bay Trolls - 210**

**Tokyo Tengu - 170; Osaka Oni - 10**

**Vancouver Grindylows - 0; London Chimeras – 150**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (10-4)**

**Washington Ministry (8-6)**

** Miami Goblins (7-7)**

**Richmond Werewolves (6-8)**

** North Division**

**Philadelphia Thestrals (9-5)**

**Columbus Pixies (8-6)**

** New York Dragons (6-8)**

** Indiana Slughorns (4-10)**

** South Division**

**Birmingham War Pigs (10-4)**

**Louisville Phantoms (8-6)**

**Houston Horcurxes (5-9)**

**Nashville Basilisks (5-9)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (9-5)**

**Seattle Vampires (7-7)**

** Los Angeles Undead (6-8)**

**San Antonio Centaurs (4-10)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

**Dallas Hippogriffs (9-5)**

**Oklahoma Orcs (8-6)**

**Minnesota Wormtails (4-10)**

**St. Louis Serpents (4-10)**

** North Division**

**Chicago Fire Crabs (9-5)**

** Kansas City Inferi (8-6)**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters (6-8)**

** Detroit Unicorns (4-10)**

** South Division**

**Tampa Bay Trolls (10-4)**

**New Orleans Dark Mark (8-6)**

**Charlotte Hallows (7-7)**

**Atlanta Owls (6-8)**

**West Division**

**Portland Parselmouths (11-3)**

**San Francisco Seers (8-6)**

**Arizona Phoenixes (7-7)**

**Las Vegas Night Elves (5-9)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

**London Chimeras (9-5)**

**Toulouse Sphinxes (8-6)**

**Rome Fairies (7-7)**

**Paris Veela (4-10)**

**Milan Witchhunters (3-11)**

** Pacific Division**

**Tokyo Tengu (9-5)**

**Kyoto Kappa (8-6)**

**Toronto Salamanders (8-6)**

**Osaka Oni (6-8)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (5-9)**

**Montreal Manticores (5-9)**

**Vancouver Grindylows (3-11)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger – see you back in the States next time!


	41. Sabotage (Part 2)

We now segue into yet another side story, which takes place in Phoenix, Arizona, the hometown of the Cartoon Quidditch team known as the Arizona Phoenixes.

However, the Phoenixes will have no part in this story – and after their next game, they'll wish they had! It is currently Saturday night, the evening before Week 15. We're currently focused on a mobile laboratory that is set up just outside the Quidditch stadium. Present at this lab is Charles Montgomery Burns, the coach of the Quidditch team known as the Portland Parselmouths – the team that will be playing the Phoenixes in Week 15. Also present at this mobile lab is Mr. Burns's loyal assistant, Waylon Smithers. The lab itself is maintained by Professor John Frink, whom Mr. Burns has hired to take part in a sabotage mission;

This sabotage effort stems from an incident back in Week 7; the Parselmouths had been the victims of a sabotage scheme spearheaded by Sheldon Plankton, which allowed his team, the Chicago Fire Crabs, to deal Portland their first loss of the season.

Portland, however, has done really well this season; their 11-3 record is the best in the whole league. Nevertheless, over the past weeks, Mr. Burns has spent precious free time trying to come up with a sabotage effort of his own, and wound up hiring Professor Frink to do it. Now would be the perfect time, Mr. Burns thought, as his team was now set to play one of its rivals within the National West division.

…

"What have you got?" Mr. Burns asks eagerly.

"Well," explains Frink, "since it was the Chicago Fire Crabs who sabotaged you before, I decided to study what they did. I discovered these really tiny remote-control receivers; what they did with those is they put one in the tail of each of your team's brooms. And Plankton, their coach, had a set of remote control devices that could send signals to each device, allowing him to control the moments of each of your team's brooms whenever and however he saw fit.

"Go on," says an intrigued Mr. Burns.

"As a matter of fact, there is something else," Frink says. "Along with the brooms, they also installed remotes onto the Bludgers; this allowed Plankton to control the Bludgers however he saw fit; he could hurl them at your team, while keeping them away from his team."

"Interesting," replies Mr. Burns. "And what to you propose we do with the Phoenixes?"

As his form of an answer, Professor Frink opens up a compartment and draws out a set of remote-control transmitters and receivers. "I have successfully constructed a set of remote control devices identical to the ones the Fire Crabs used on your team. You should have total control of the brooms and the Bludgers, just like they did.

"However," Frink continues, "I did spot one major flaw in their efforts; they forgot to put a remote device on the Golden Snitch – there was a chance that your Seeker could've lucked out and caught the Snitch, thus rendering the Fire Crabs' efforts to be totally pointless. Therefore, I've also made an additional receiver to put on the Snitch, and a device to control it with, allowing you to keep it away from their Seeker and move towards your Seeker.

"Very impressive," Mr. Burns remarks, "but how are we going to break in?"

"I've obtained a complete technical readout of the stadium," replies Frink. "The only magical devices are the brooms, Quaffle, Bludgers and Snitch. If anything else were magical, we'd be screwed. Fortunately, the stadium's security consists of Muggle surveillance cameras, silent alarms, locks, etc. For that, I have equipped this mobile laboratory with a device that can transmit an electromagnetic pulse through the stadium, thereby disabling all electronic security measures." The professor then takes out a crowbar, adding, "And this should break the locks, no problem. Then anyone could get in and tamper with the Quidditch equipment however they wanted."

"I believe Smithers will be attending to that," Mr. Burns says.

"Me? Why?" Smithers asks.

"Let's face it; I'm old!" Mr. Burns replies. "Corporate greed and exploitation have really done a number on my body. Besides, if I get caught, our whole team will be ruined!"

"I see your point, sir," says Smithers.

"The electromagnetic pulse is ready," announces Professor Frink.

"Fire away!" orders Mr. Burns. With that, Frink pulls a lever on the control panel, and an antenna on the mobile lab begins to transmit an EMP that bathes the entire Quidditch stadium and everything inside it. Before long, everything electronic in the stadium has been fried.

"All security has been disabled," Frink proclaims.

"Have at it, Smithers!" commands Mr. Burns. And with that, he takes the remote-control receivers, the crowbar, a headlamp, and a map of the stadium's infrastructure, and walks up to the stadium entrance.

He breaks the lock of the door easily with the crowbar. He refers to his map, seeing that the broom closet is but a few doors away. Headlamp on, he finds the door to the broom closet, and forces it open with the crowbar.

Right in front of him are all of the brooms that the Arizona Phoenixes fly on. Taking great care, Smithers lays each broom down on the floor very neatly. Then he sets out the remote receivers. Utilizing hefty precision, he sticks each receiver through each broom's tail and attaches them onto each butt end via the adhesive surface that the devices have to make them stick.

When that's done, Smithers refers to the map, and sees that the closet with the balls and bats is just a few more doors down. He heads right over there, breaks in, and sees the Quaffle, the Bludgers, the Golden Snitch, and the Phoenixes' Bludger Bats. Disregarding the Quaffle and the Bats, Smithers first deals with the Bludgers. As they writhe around in their chains, trying to break free, Smithers attaches the receivers on and doesn't give another thought about them. Then he locates the Golden Snitch. It is very small, so he is extra careful when he attaches the last device to it.

When all is said and done, Smithers takes his crowbar and map, and leaves the stadium, closing behind him all the doors he opened. When Mr. Burns hails him, Smithers responds, "I successfully attached the devices to all the brooms, the Bludgers, and the Snitch!"

"Excellent!" Mr. Burns sneers. "Those Phoenixes are a bunch of dead ducks!" He tops this off with an evil laugh. Then, Professor Frink takes his mobile lab and evacuates the stadium premises as quickly as he can, while Burns and Smithers retire to the hotel where the rest of the team is, so as to rest up for tomorrow's game, where their r/c devices shall be put to work…


	42. Week 15 Prologue

** Week 15 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Columbus Pixies**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs San Francisco Seers**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Seattle Vampires**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Osaka Oni**

**Miami Goblins vs Washington Ministry**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Rome Fairies**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Montreal Manticores vs Kyoto Kappa**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Richmond Werewolves vs New England Griffins**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Paris Veela vs London Chimeras**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs New York Dragons**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Denver Dementors**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Tokyo Tengu**

** Game of the Week; Portland Parselmouths vs Arizona Phoenixes.**

** See you in Arizona!**


	43. Week 15 Portland vs Arizona

** Week 15 Game of the Week; Portland Parselmouths vs Arizona Phoenixes.**

** Team rosters;**

**Portland Parselmouths**

** Chaser: Marge Simpson (#38)**

** Chaser: Bart Simpson (#54)**

** Chaser: Lisa Simpson (#45)**

** Beater: Nelson Muntz (#27)**

** Beater: Moe Szyslak (#32)**

** Keeper: Homer Simpson [C] (#83)**

** Seeker: Milhouse Van Houten (#43)**

** Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns**

**Arizona Phoenixes**

** Chaser: Fry [C] (#99)**

** Chaser: Leela (#30)**

** Chaser: Bender (#22)**

** Beater: Zoidberg (#10)**

** Beater: Hermes Conrad (#37)**

** Keeper: Zapp Brannigan (#25)**

** Seeker: Amy Wong (#31)**

** Coach: Hubert J. Farnsworth**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: After yet another international game, the first one we've shown in Canada, eh, the World League of Cartoon Quidditch is not only returning to the United States, but is also, at last, bringing to you what may very well be the best damn team in the league period, taking on one of their division rivals. We're glad you could be with us, as the Arizona Phoenixes are getting ready to face off against the Portland Parselmouths! I'm Al Michaels – joining me is John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: I just know a lot of people have been waiting to see this one. Like you said, Al, the Portland Parselmouths, right now, are the best team in the whole league.

Hermione: And without any crazy powers! HA!

Harry: I think for once, I agree with Hermione. It really is amazing that these misfits have handed asses to many of the most potentially dangerous teams out there.

Ron: I know, I mean at look at them! They have a fat-ass, a couple of geeks, and that woman's hairdo is god-awful!

Michaels: Honestly...

...

Burns: Alright, Smithers, is everything ready?

Smithers: Yes sir!

Burns: Oh, and you may notice the button I put on your belt. If we lose this game, damned if we do, press that button to release the flying hounds!

Smithers: You got it!

...

**The Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are released; they fly out of sight from the players. Shortly thereafter, the Quaffle is tossed upwards;**

Michaels: And the game begins!

**After a brief scramble, Bender ends up with possession of the Quaffle for the Arizona Phoenixes. He very quickly gets past Marge, Bart and Lisa Simpson en route to the Parselmouths' goal;**

Burns: Smithers, do something!

…

Michaels: And that Bludger ALMOST hits Bender, he drops the Quaffle, now Portland has it!

Bender: Son of a bitch!

Burns: Excellent…

**After Bender loses the Quaffle, Bart Simpson picks it up for the Portland Parselmouths. Fry and Leela try to steal it from him and Zoidberg hits a Bludger in his direction, but they all miss. With them out of the way, Bart continues on to the Arizona goal;**

Michaels: 10 points to the Portland Parselmouths!

Bart: Eat my shorts, Phoenixes!

Lisa: High-five, bro!

Both: Yeah!

Madden: I could be mistaken, but it actually looked like Zapp Brannigan may have been ogling Marge Simpson! Either way, he clearly wasn't paying any attention to the game.

Harry: Weird, I thought that Zapp had a crush on Leela.

Ron: Well, she did take his virginity… out of pity.

Hermione: Okay guys, just stop! Please!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Kansas City, Kansas, where the Kansas City Inferi are hosting the Milwaukee Death Eaters. The score is 10-0. Milwaukee. Billy has the Quaffle for the Milwaukee Death Eaters when…**_

_Gwen: _Stupefy!

_**Gwen Tennyson knocks Billy off of his broom with a Stunning Spell. She's about to take the Quaffle when…**_

_Mandy: You BITCH!_

_**Mandy and Gwen start to pick a fight with each other. Meanwhile, Irwin takes the Quaffle and scores, putting Milwaukee up 20-0.**_

__**BACK TO ARIZONA**

Michaels: And Portland scores again!

Lisa: YES!

Leela: Dammit, Zapp, stop looking at me and keep our eye on the fuckin' ball!

Zapp: I'm actually not looking at you this time!

Leela: Uhh…

**Lisa Simpson scores to put the Portland Parselmouths up 20-0. Zapp Brannigan then throws the Quaffle to Fry. Meanwhile…**

Michaels: Uh oh; Milhouse Van Hoouten is already chasing the Snitch!

Madden: The Phoenixes are in real trouble now!

**Milhouse Van Houten spots the Golden Snitch, and is now trying to catch it for the Portland Parselmouths. Because he's very small in size, it doesn't take him a terribly long time to catch up to the Snitch. But because of the Snitch's extremely small size, combined with its rapid-fire quick movements, it manages to elude Milhouse's hand every time he makes a grab at it.**

** In the meantime, Marge Simpson has the Quaffle for Portland, and is looking to score her first goal of the game when she sees Bender flying at her from her right, looking like he's trying to t-bone her…**

Michaels: Penalty whistle on the pitch!

Hermione: Blatching on the Phoenixes! You saw Bender try to hit Marge there!

**The referee's call;**

Referee: Blatching. Arizona, #22. Penalty shot for Portland!

Bender: Oh, come on! I didn't even hit her!

Marge: You were gonna!

**Marge Simpson volunteers to take the penalty shot for the Parselmouths;**

Michaels: And she SCORES!

Marge: Well alright, then!

Leela: (facepalm)

**Fry takes the Quaffle after the penalty shot. He quickly gets past Marge, Bart and Lisa. Nelson Muntz, however, has a Bludger coming to him; he takes his bat and hits the Bludger right in Fry's direction…**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Farnsworth: TIMEOUT!

Nelson: HA HA!

Ron: That's the type of playing I like to see – right there!

Hermione: (facepalm)

**Fry is hit in the head with Nelson's Bludger and is knocked off his broom. Hubert Farnsworth, coach of the Arizona Phoenixes, calls timeout. The rest of the team goes down to check on Fry; he turns out to be okay – his broom his, too. He remounts, the rest of the team gets back in the air, the timeout is terminated, and the game resumes.**

** Shortly thereafter;**

Michaels: Amy Wong's after the Snitch!

Harry: They'd better hope she catches it before Portland gets too far ahead.

Burns: Smithers, STOP HER!

…

**As Amy Wong goes out after the Snitch, a Bludger comes at her – it just barely misses her, leaving her disoriented.**

Fry: Watch yourself, Amy!

**Amy then sees the Bludger headed back for Fry.**

Amy: Fry, look out!

**Fry just barely avoids the Bludger, which comes back for Amy and misses again. But rather than keep on going, it turns back for her. Amy evades it and flies away; the Bludger gives chase – they're supposed to attack everyone equally, but for some reason, this one is chasing down her and her only.**

Ron: Blimey! Amy Wong's got herself a rogue Bludger! That's been tampered with, that has!

Harry: If Dobby were still alive, I'd blame him.

Hermione: I don't know how, but I think the Parselmouths did this!

Burns: Excellent…

…

**While the Bludger continues to chase Amy Wong, Leela has possession of the Quaffle for the Phoenixes. Moe Szyslak hits a Bludger in her direction, but Hermes Conrad hits it right back, forcing him to break off. With no other opposition, Leela makes it to the Portland goal;**

Michaels: And FINALLY, the Phoenixes score!

Homer: D'OH!

Fry: Sweet shot, Leela!

Leela: (giggle) Thanks!

**Leela is the one who finally puts the Phoenixes on the board; the score is still 30-10, Parselmouths. Homer Simpson throws the Quaffle to Marge after the goal.**

** But then the Quaffle is stolen by Bender.**

Burns: Stop him, Smithers!

…

Madden: What the hell is up with Bender?

Michaels: His broom is going in every-which direction; it looks like it's trying to throw him off!

Hermione: SOMEONE must've jinxed it!

Burns: Excellent…

**Bender's broom suddenly starts moving by itself; it shakes and sways violently in every direction, trying to throw him off. All Bender can do hang on helplessly – as he does so, Bart Simpson takes the Quaffle from him.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_**This Game Break takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, where the New England Griffins are hosting the Richmond Werewolves. The score is 50-30, New England. Rallo Tubbs and Stewie Griffin are both chasing after the Golden Snitch for their teams. Stewie is a ways behind; Rallo tries to capitalize. But just as he's about to catch the Snitch, Stewie shoots him in the back with his laser blaster, knocking him off his broom.**_

_Rallo:__(screaming)_

_Donna: (gasp) My baby!_

_**Stewie goes on to catch the Golden Snitch; the New England Griffins defeat the Richmond Werewolves, 200-30.**_

** BACK TO ARIZONA**

** Bart Simpson heads to the Arizona goal with the Quaffle, but Fry pops up and takes it from him. He gets three quarters of the way to the Portland goal when Marge and Lisa Simpson double-team; Lisa takes it for the Parselmouths. Leela takes it back before Lisa before she can shoot; Marge takes it back before Leela makes it to the Parselmouths' goal's scoring area. Bender, meanwhile, is still dangling helplessly from his "jinxed" broom.**

Michaels: And even with that Bludger chasing her, Amy Wong is right back on the Snitch!

Madden: Look out, here comes Milhouse…

Harry: Well, they're side-by-side, and they're fightin'!

Ron: I wonder whether Milhouse or that Bludger will be the first to knock Amy off her broom…

Hermione: Honestly, Ronald…

Burns: Take her out, Smithers!

…

Michaels: That Bludger almost hit Milhouse…

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Harry: Amy Wong is sent flying off her broom!

Ron: I think Portland has this game in the bag!

Hermione: I think they were the ones who jinxed the brooms and the Bludgers!

Harry: But you don't know that!

**Milhouse Van Houten is disoriented when the Bludger barely misses him; it goes on to hit Amy Wong in the head, knocking her off her broom. Milhouse, noticing this, has lost sight of the Snitch…**

Burns: Give it to him, Smithers!

**…when suddenly he sees it, and it's heading right for him. Milhouse is confused by this at first, but when the Snitch gets to him, he reaches out a hand and catches it, no problem.**

Michaels: IT'S OVER! Milhouse Van Houten has the Golden Snitch! Parselmouths win!

Milhouse: (gasp) I got it!

Bart: Nice catch, buddy!

Homer: WOO-HOO, we won again!

Burns: Excellent game, everyone, heh heh heh! (wink)

Hermione: Dammit, they jinxed that Snitch! You saw how it just flew right to him!

Ron: Oh, shut up, Hermione!

**With Milhouse's catch, the Portland Parselmouths defeat the Arizona Phoenixes, 180-10. The Arizona crowd boos them as they celebrate the victory; the Phoenixes (after checking up on Amy Wong and saving Bender from his "jinxed" broom) return to the locker room in shame.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls – 200; Charlotte Hallows – 60**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 190; Houston Horcruxes – 10**

**Dallas Hippogriffs – 250; Minnesota Wormtails – 20**

**Detroit Unicorns – 10 Chicago Fire Crabs – 190**

**Indiana Slughorns – 70; Columbus Pixies – 220**

**Las Vegas Night Elves – 150; San Francisco Seers – 90**

**Los Angeles Undead – 40; Seattle Vampires – 220**

**Louisville Phantoms – 160; Nashville Basilisks - 0**

**Mexico City Chupacabras – 60; Osaka Oni – 210**

**Miami Goblins – 50; Washington Ministry – 220**

**Milan Witchhunters – 60; Rome Fairies – 230**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters – 170; Kansas City Inferi – 20**

**Montreal Manticores – 150; Kyoto Kappa – 70**

**New Orleans Dark Mark – 230; Tampa Bay Trolls – 40**

**Richmond Werewolves – 30; New England Griffins – 200**

**Oklahoma Orcs – 180; St. Louis Serpents – 10**

**Paris Veela – 50; London Chimeras – 150**

**Philadelphia Thestrals – 190; New York Dragons – 30**

**San Antonio Centaurs – 0; Denver Dementors – 150**

**Toronto Salamanders – 170; Toulouse Sphinxes – 50**

**Vancouver Grindylows – 0; Tokyo Tengu – 240**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (11-4)**

** Washington Ministry (9-6)**

** Miami Goblins (7-8)**

** Richmond Werewolves (6-9)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (10-5)**

** Columbus Pixies (9-6)**

** New York Dragons (6-9)**

** Indiana Slughorns (4-11)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (11-4)**

** Louisville Phantoms (9-6)**

** Houston Horcurxes (5-10)**

** Nashville Basilisks (5-10)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (10-5)**

** Seattle Vampires (8-7)**

** Los Angeles Undead (6-9)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (4-11)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (10-5)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (9-6)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (4-11)**

** St. Louis Serpents (4-11)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (10-5)**

** Kansas City Inferi (8-7)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (7-8)**

** Detroit Unicorns (4-11)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (10-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (9-6)**

** Atlanta Owls (7-8)**

** Charlotte Hallows (7-8)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (12-3)**

** San Francisco Seers (8-7)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (7-8)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (6-9)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (10-5)**

** Rome Fairies (8-7)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (8-7)**

** Paris Veela (4-11)**

** Milan Witchhunters (3-12)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (10-5)**

** Toronto Salamanders (9-6)**

** Kyoto Kappa (8-7)**

** Osaka Oni (7-8)**

** Montreal Manticores (6-9)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (5-10)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (3-12)**

Michaels: Good night, everybody!


	44. Week 16 Prologue

** Week 16 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Denver Dementors vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Kyoto Kappa vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**New York Dragons vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Osaka Oni vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Miami Goblins vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Montreal Manticores vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Paris Veela vs New England Griffins**

**Rome Fairies vs Columbus Pixies**

**San Francisco Seers vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Seattle Vampires vs Richmond Werewolves**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs London Chimeras**

**Washington Ministry vs Birmingham War Pigs**

** Game of the Week; Paris Veela vs New England Griffins**

** See you in New England!**


	45. Week 16 Paris vs New England

**Week 16 Game of the Week; Paris Veela vs New England Griffins.**

** Team rosters;**

**Paris Veela**

** Chaser: Sam [C] (#33)**

** Chaser: Clover (#78)**

** Chaser: Alex (#32)**

** Beater: Caitlin (#68)**

** Beater: Dominique (#07)**

** Keeper: Mandy (#65)**

** Seeker: Britney (#92)**

** Coach: Jerry**

**New England Griffins**

** Chaser: Lois Griffin (#39)**

** Chaser: Meg Griffin (#45)**

** Chaser: Brian Griffin (#8)**

** Beater: Peter Griffin [C] (#93)**

** Beater: Chris Griffin (#54)**

** Keeper: Glenn Quagmire (#69)**

** Seeker: Stewie Griffin (#08)**

** Coach: Joe Swanson**

**Tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Last week, we saw the best of the league in action; as the Portland Parselmouths scored a 180-10 blowout victory over their division rivals, the Arizona Phoenixes. Today, we see another one of the best, taking on one of our international Quidditch teams. We're glad you could be with us, live from Providence, Rhode Island, as the Paris Veela have come to town to face the New England Griffins! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, and with me as always; John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Hermione: I'm still certain that Portland was doing some really dirty tricks last week against Arizona. I just know they did a bunch of stuff to their brooms, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch! I know New England's record is almost as good as Portland's; damn, I hope they don't pull the same crap!

Madden: Er, I don't think they'd need to. Paris just so happens to be one of the worst teams in the league; New England is 11-4 – Paris is 4-11! However fairly the Griffins play this one, I don't think the Veela stand so much as a chance.

Ron: Well, some of the Veela are secret agents for some world organization that I forget the name of-

Harry: So are the Los Angeles Undead, and look how they're doing!

Michaels: (facepalm)

...

Quagmire: Man, look at all the chicks on this team! I'm gonna shoot so many loads today!

Lois: Glenn! We have a game to play, dammit!

Quagmire: I know, I know! But those chicks are so hot!

Peter: Dude, just shut up and protect our hoops!

Quagmire: ...

**The Golden Snitch and the Bludgers are released in due time, and they fly where they cannot be seen. Then the Quaffle is tossed into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the game begins!

**Clover is the first to gain possession of the Quaffle – it is for the Paris Veela. A Bludger heads in her direction, but Dominique takes care of it. Meg Griffin is the only New England player within range of Clover, but she can't get the Quaffle from her. With no further opposition, Clover makes her way up to the New England goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Glenn Quagmire!

Clover: You bastard!

Quagmire: You teenage chicks are so hot when you're frustrated! Giggity!

**After blocking the shot, Quagmire throws the Quaffle back to his team; it is caught by Brian Griffin.**

** Sam goes after him, but Chris Griffin hits a Bludger at her, and she's forced to back off. Brian passes the Quaffle to Lois, who manages to outfly Alex before she can steal the Quaffle away.**

**As Peter Griffin beats away an incoming Bludger, Lois heads up in to the Paris scoring area;**

Michaels: 10 points to New England!

Mandy: That ain't fair, dammit!

Lois: (scoff) Goddamn spoiled teenage girls.

Madden: What happened here? Mandy went to her left, but the Quaffle was coming at her from her right! Un-freaking-believable!

Ron: Teenage girls, huh?

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Louisville, Kentucky, where the Louisville Phantoms are hosting the Chicago Fire Crabs. The score is 10-0, Chicago. Sandy Cheeks has the Quaffle for the Chicago Fire Crabs.**__**..**_

_Danny: I'm going ghost!_

_**...when suddenly, the Quaffle "forces itself" out of Sandy's grip.**_

_Sandy: What in tarnation!_

_**While still invisible, Danny takes the Quaffle and scores for his team, tying the game at 10.**_

__**BACK TO NEW ENGLAND**

** Paris gets the Quaffle back; this time, it is Alex who gets possession of it. But before she can do anything with it, Peter Griffin hits a Bludger in her direction...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Jerry: Whoa, time-out!

Peter: Hehhehheh, dumb broad!

Harry: (chuckle) These Bludger head shots never get old!

Hermione: Well they have to me! Honestly!

Ron: (sarcastic yawn)

**The Bludger hits Alex in the head; she falls off her broom and hits the ground with a thud, unconscious. Jerry, coach of the Paris Veela, is forced to call timeout. He and the rest of the Veela fly down and converge on their unconscious teammate.**

Sam: Come on, Alex, give me a sign here! Come on!

**Sam puts up a great faith effort to try and wake up her friend and teammate. It takes a while, but Alex eventually stirs.**

Alex: Where am I?

Clover: You took a nasty Bludger to the head.

Jerry: I trust you're still fit to play?

Alex: (getting up) I think so, yes.

Jerry: Great, now let's get back out there!

**After Alex comes to and recovers, she remounts on her broom, the rest of the team also remounts, the timeout is terminated, and the game is put back underway.**

** But it doesn't start to well for the Veela. Lois Griffin ends up with the Quaffle for the New England Griffins. Caitlin tries to hit a Bludger at her, but it misses horribly and almost hits Sam.**

Sam: Hey, watch where you're hitting those damn things, you stupid bitch!

**Sam is disoriented, and Clover and Alex are nowhere in reach. Lois, since she's already scored a goal, passes the Quaffle to Brian Griffin. With no additional opposition, Brian smoothly flies up to the Paris goal, Quaffle in hand;**

Michaels: Another 10 points to the Griffins!

Madden: Man oh man, it's no wonder the Paris Veela are doing this bad; none of them look like they can even so much as play right now!

Hermione: I hate to say it, but I think I actually agree with John on that one.

**With Brian Griffin's goal, the New England Griffins go up 20-0. Once again, Mandy throws the Quaffle back to her team, and it is Clover who retrieves it.**

**Meanwhile, the Veela may be about ready to catch a break;**

Michaels: Looks like Britney has gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Like she'll catch it. You can plainly see how bad the rest of the team is doing right now!

Harry: I don't know. Then again, this could be the break they've been looking for...

Ron: I bloody doubt it!

**While the New England Griffins take a 20-0 lead, Britney starts to chase down the Golden Snitch for the Paris Veela. She's a fast flier, but her less-than-stellar depth perception prevents her from registering a good focus on it, so it takes her a fair amount of time to catch up to the Snitch. Even when she does catch up to it, it evades her hand every time she attempts to make a grab at it.**

**Which is most unfortunate, especially since the Veela's fortunes aren't getting any better...**

Michaels: And yet ANOTHER 10 points to the New England Griffins!

Brian: YES! Oh yeah!

Peter: Way to go, buddy!

Clover: Ugh! You've gotta be fucking kidding me!

**Brian Griffin scores another goal, and the New England Griffins go up 30-0.**

** Meanwhile, as the Veela get the Quaffle back...**

Michaels: Stewie Griffin's after the Snitch!

Hermione: Oh, that's it! As far as I'm concerned, this game is over!

Ron: Hey, don't be so bloody sure...

Hermione: Oh, really? Don't you all see how one-sided this game is?

Harry: Hmm, well now that you mention it...

**As Britney continues to chase after the Golden Snitch, Stewie Griffin then proceeds to chase it down in an attempt to catch it for the New England Griffins. Stewie is much more quick than Britney, and before long, the two Seekers are flying right directly alongside each other. Before Stewie can pass, Britney jabs him hard in the gut with her elbow...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Hermione: I shouldn't even have to tell you jackasses what they're calling!

Madden: Well, I did see Britney elbow Stewie Griffin in the gut back there...

Ron: Thank you so bloody much, Captain Obvious!

**The action stops as the referee sounds the penalty whistle. The referee's call;**

Referee: Cobbing. Paris, #92. Penalty shot for New England!

Stewie: (snickering)

Britney: (groan)

**As Meg Griffin has yet to score a goal, she is the one who volunteers to take the penalty shot for the New England Griffins. Mandy will attempt to defend;**

Michaels: 40-0, New England!

Mandy: (facepalm)

Lois: Way to go, honey!

Ron: You know what, I'll say it; this game is a total blowout – the Paris Veela are screwed for sure now!

**Meg Griffin scores on the penalty shot, putting the New England Griffins up 40-0. Yet again, Mandy throws the Quaffle back to her team; Clover gets possession.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the Tokyo Tengu. The score is tied at 40. Both of the opposing Seekers, Wallabee Beetles for Philadelphia, and Ash Ketchum for Tokyo, are in hot pursuit of the Golden Snitch, flying neck and neck with each other. Then...**_

_Ash: Pikachu, use Iron Tail!_

_**Pikachu's tail turns into rock-hard iron. He leaps up at Wally and brings his Iron Tail down onto his neck. Wally groans in anguish as he is knocked off his broom from the impact.**_

_Kuki: Oh my God! WALLY!_

_**Meanwhile, Ash Ketchum catches the Golden Snitch, and the Tokyo Tengu defeat the Philadelphia Thestrals, 190-40.**_

__**BACK TO NEW ENGLAND**

**While the Chasers from both the Paris Veela and the New England Griffins squabble over possession of the Quaffle, Britney and Stewie Griffin go back to chasing the Snitch. That's when Stewie draws his laser blaster...**

All: OH!

Michaels: Britney's just been shot in the back by Stewie Griffin, she's fallen off her broom, and it's over! Stewie Griffin has the Snitch and the New England Griffins win the game!

Stewie: Victory is ours!

Lois: Yay, Stewie!

Hermione: God, I hate that damn baby!

**The New England home crowd bursts into a roar as the New England Griffins defeat the Paris Veela, 190-0.**

**Around the WLCQ:**

**Atlanta Owls – 40; San Antonio Centaurs – 170**

**Charlotte Hallows – 50; Indiana Slughorns – 180**

**Chicago Fire Crabs – 10; Louisville Phantoms – 200**

**Dallas Hippogriffs – 190; Arizona Phoenixes – 70**

**Denver Dementors – 150; Portland Parselmouths – 0**

**Houston Horcruxes – 10; Detroit Unicorns – 200**

**Kyoto Kappa – 90; Tampa Bay Trolls – 160**

**New York Dragons – 50; Vancouver Grindylows – 170**

**Osaka Oni – 250; Oklahoma Orcs – 90**

**Las Vegas Night Elves – 150; New Orleans Dark Mark – 90**

**Mexico City Chupacabras – 230; Toronto Salamanders – 0**

**Miami Goblins – 30; Milan Witchhunters – 220**

**Montreal Manticores – 10; Milwaukee Death Eaters – 240**

**Nashville Basilisks – 20; Minnesota Wormtails – 180**

**Rome Fairies – 50; Columbus Pixies – 210**

**San Francisco Seers – 230; Kansas City Inferi – 60**

**Seattle Vampires – 170; Richmond Werewolves - 10**

**St. Louis Serpents – 160; Los Angeles Undead – 30**

**Tokyo Tengu – 190; Philadelphia Thestrals – 40**

**Toulouse Sphinxes – 220; London Chimeras – 30**

**Washington Ministry – 180; Birmingham War Pigs – 20**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

**New England Griffins (12-4)**

**Washington Ministry (10-6)**

**Miami Goblins (7-9)**

** Richmond Werewolves (6-10)**

** North Division**

**Columbus Pixies (10-6)**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (10-6)**

**New York Dragons (6-10)**

**Indiana Slughorns (5-11)**

** South Division**

**Birmingham War Pigs (11-5)**

**Louisville Phantoms (10-6)**

**Houston Horcurxes (5-11)**

** Nashville Basilisks (5-11)**

** West Division**

**Denver Dementors (11-5)**

**Seattle Vampires (9-7)**

**Los Angeles Undead (6-10)**

**San Antonio Centaurs (5-11)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

**Dallas Hippogriffs (11-5)**

**Oklahoma Orcs (9-7)**

**Minnesota Wormtails (5****-****11)**

**St. Louis Serpents (5-11)**

** North Division**

**Chicago Fire Crabs (10-6)**

**Kansas City Inferi (8-8)**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters (8-8)**

**Detroit Unicorns (5-11)**

** South Division**

**Tampa Bay Trolls (11-5)**

**New Orleans Dark Mark (9-7)**

**Atlanta Owls (7-9)**

** Charlotte Hallows (7-9)**

** West Division**

**Portland Parselmouths (12-4)**

**San Francisco Seers (8-8)**

**Arizona Phoenixes (7-9)**

**Las Vegas Night Elves (7-9)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

**London Chimeras (10-6)**

**Toulouse Sphinxes (9-7)**

** Rome Fairies (8-8)**

**Milan Witchhunters (4-12)**

** Paris Veela (4-12)**

**Pacific Division**

**Tokyo Tengu (11-5)**

**Toronto Salamanders (9-7)**

**Kyoto Kappa (8-8)**

**Osaka Oni (8-8)**

**Mexico City Chupacabras (6-10)**

** Montreal Manticores (6-10)**

**Vancouver Grindylows (4-12)**

Michaels: Good night!


	46. Week 17 Prologue

** Week 17 match-ups;**

**Atlanta Owls vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Miami Goblins**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Seattle Vampires**

**London Chimeras vs Rome Fairies**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Washington Ministry**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Denver Dementors**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Richmond Werewolves**

**New England Griffins vs Nashville Basilisks**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**New York Dragons vs San Francisco Seers**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Osaka Oni vs Montreal Manticores**

**Paris Veela vs Milan Witchhunters**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**St. Louis Serpents vs Houston Horcruxes**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Columbus Pixies**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Kyoto Kappa**

** Game of the Week; St. Louis Serpents vs Houston Horcruxes.**

** See you in Houston!**


	47. Week 17 St Louis vs Houston

**Week 17 Game of the Week; St. Louis Serpents vs Houston Horcruxes.**

** Team rosters;**

**St. Louis Serpents**

** Chaser: The Warden [C] (#32)**

** Chaser: Paul (#50)**

** Chaser: Jean (#30)**

** Beater: Alice (#03)**

** Beater: Jacknife (#59)**

** Keeper: Jailbot (#69)**

** Seeker: Jared (#57)**

** Coach: Lord Stingray**

**Houston Horcruxes**

** Chaser: Cuddles [C] (#3)**

** Chaser: Giggles (#7)**

** Chaser: Petunia (#16)**

** Beater: Lifty (#12)**

** Beater: Shifty (#19)**

** Keeper: Lumpy (#21)**

** Seeker: Splendid (#19)**

** Coach: Flippy**

**FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: FOX Sports welcomes you to the land of plenty, more specifically, the 4th largest city in the United States, Houston, Texas. Last week, we saw one of the league's best teams, the New England Griffins, totally slaughter the European team Paris Veela in a total shutout. This week, we see two teams, both of which have had, shall we say, less-than-stellar success in this league. Thanks for joining us, as the St. Louis Serpents are getting set to square off against the Houston Horcruxes! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels - joining me as always, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: When you said less-than-stellar, Al, you made a really serious understatement. Both Houston and St. Louis are 5-11, which means they've both won less than 1 in 3 of their games. Also, they're both tied for last place in the American South and National East divisions.

Ron: That probably has to do with how Houston's players have been dying all the time. I've seen some of their games; those guys keep on getting dismembered, disemboweled, decapitated, you name it! But just like Kenny, they're always reincarnated for the next chapter.

Hermione: Honestly, that shouldn't have to happen! Even if they are reincarnated, these characters shouldn't have to kill each other in a Quidditch game - it's just plain unethical and inefficient!

Harry: Well, you may want to look away; I've heard that the St. Louis Serpents' players hail from a cartoon that also has extreme graphic violence - it's probably one of the goriest ever made!

Michaels: I'm not gonna lie; this is making me even more excited for today's game!

...

Alice: (scoff) Look at all these little animals on their brooms! They're so cute I just wanna hug them so tightly that their eyes pop right out of their sockets! (evil laugh)

Warden: Be serious, guys. We have a shitty win-loss record; they do, too. We may be able to catch a break here. And if we do manage to dismember them some, perhaps that'll help us out - I like your thinkin', Alice!

Alice: (chuckle) Thanks, Warden!

**The referee promptly releases the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch, allowing them to fly wherever they so please, as long as they escape the sightlines of the players. Once they do that, the referee takes the Quaffle, goes to the center of the pitch with it, and tosses it up high into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the game begins!

**Before anyone else can get to it, Giggles quickly gains possession of the Quaffle for the Houston Horcruxes. Paul and Jean, the Serpents' resident gay couple, both make chase in an attempt to get the Quaffle back for their team, but Giggles outflies them both.**

** A Bludger heads in Giggles's direction, but Lifty and Shifty both hit the Bludger off that course and towards The Warden; he's forced to break off, just barely evading the Bludger.**

** Meanwhile, Giggles has made her way to the St. Louis goal;**

Michaels: 10 points to the Houston Horcruxes!

Giggles: (cheering)

Jailbot: ...

Madden: Wow, I never woud've thought a cute little animal like Giggles could outwit a vicious robot like Jailbot! Then again, robots do tend to be rather limited in speed in agility...

Ron: Yeah, that Jailbot does have more of a Beater's build.

Hermione: Giggles is just lucky that thing didn't kill her!

**Giggles is the first Chaser to score a goal for her team; by doing so, she puts her team, the Houston Horcruxes, in the lead, 10-0.**

** Jailbot throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is caught by The Warden.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Denver, Colorado, where the Denver Dementors are hosting the Milwaukee Death Eaters. Both teams have yet to score. Right now, everyone from both the Dementors and the Death Eaters are all squabbling over the Quaffle in an adjacent area of the Quidditch pitch. While that goes on, Grim, Milwaukee's Keeper, notices that there is absolutely nothing between him and Denver's Keeper, Kenny McCormick. Grim, seeing this as a golden opportunity, raises his scythe;**_

_Grim: Avada Kedavra!_

…

_Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!_

_Kyle: You bastards!_

**BACK TO HOUSTON**

**As The Warden takes the Quaffle and starts for the Horcruxes' goal, a Bludger heads in his direction. Jacknife, however, manages to knock it away, towards Cuddles and Petunia, forcing them to break off.**

** Then, just before The Warden makes it to the Houston scoring area, Giggles suddenly pops up out of nowhere, wrenches the Quaffle from The Warden's grasp, and takes it in the other direction.**

Warden: Hey, get back here, you little shit!

**As Giggles takes it back to the St. Louis goal, The Warden can't keep up, and neither Paul nor Jean can get to her, either. That's when Alice sees an opportunity. She spots a Bludger headed for her; timing it just right, she whacks it in Giggles's direction…**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Whoa, she whacked her head clean off!

Hermione: (gasps, gags… then vomits on Harry and Ron's feet)

Ron: Somebody get us some towels, please?

Harry: And a damn bucket!

**The Bludger that Alice beats hits Giggles in the head with such force that it literally knocks her head right off of her shoulders. Blood spurts out like a volcano from the stump where her head used to be, as her broom plummets to the ground, her decapitated body tumbling and then falling limp on to the ground like a common rag doll. She will be reincarnated for the team's next game, but her team is now at a major disadvantage as they're now one Chaser short.**

**Meanwhile, The Warden takes the Quaffle back for the Serpents, with Paul and Jean flanking him for support. But then, Lifty and Shifty manage to hit both of the Bludgers at Paul and Jean; they're forced to back off, leaving The Warden vulnerable…**

** It is at this point that Cuddles and Petunia, Houston's remaining Chasers, both make a rush at The Warden from both sides in order to disorient him and allow them to take the Quaffle back for their team. But The Warden, with his speed and agility, manages to fly past the both of them before either of them can get within arm's length of them.**

Warden: HA! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

Cuddles/Petunia: (facepalm)

**With no one else trying to stop him, The Warden makes his way in to the Houston scoring area;**

Michaels: He SCORES! And we're tied at 10!

Warden: Fabulous!

Madden: All I can say is that the Horcruxes are in some really hot water now! They've fallen one Chaser short, and their 10-point lead is now all gone. I don't know how they're gonna get out of this one.

Hermione: They wouldn't be in this mess if the Serpents hadn't killed their Chaser!

Harry: For God's sake, Hermione, calm down before you throw up again!

**With The Warden's goal, the St. Louis Serpents tie the game at 10. Lumpy, the Keeper for the Houston Horcruxes, throws the Quaffle back into play for it to be caught by Petunia.**

**Meanwhile…**

Michaels: And Splendid seems like he's gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Well, whaddya know? Looks like they may have a shot at winning this thing after all.

Hermione: Yeah, it would certainly serve the Serpents right for what they did to their Chaser!

Ron: (shakes head)

**Splendid has set out in pursuit of the Golden Snitch for the Houston Horcruxes. Being a superhero squirrel, he's more than able to gain ground on the Snitch really quickly. But the feistiness of the Snitch proves to be a more than worth match to Splendid's reflexes, every time he reaches out his hand to grab the Snitch, it just manages to slip out and away from his hand.**

** While that goes on, Petunia still has the Quaffle for the Horcruxes. However, she and Cuddles are constantly being ambushed by Paul, Jean and The Warden, and are finding it extremely difficult to retain possession.**

** Jacknife, one of St. Louis's Beaters, spots Lifty, looking ready to beat a Bludger at The Warden's head. The other Bludger is headed right for Jacknife; he seizes his chance;**

All: OH!

Michaels: That Bludger just went right through Lifty's body, his blood and guts are going all over the place-

Hermione: (gags, throws up two times into the bucket)

Harry: You have GOT to get a stronger stomach, Hermione!

Hermione: Well then tell me why this atrocity has to happen?!

Ron: Who cares, it's just so fun to wat-

Hermione: (dumps bucket of vomit on Ron's head)

**Jacknife scores a body shot on Lifty; the Bludger hits so hard that it actually makes its way into Lifty's body and back out again, opening up a huge hole in his torso. As his broom plummets to the ground, his blood, and the remains of his heart, lungs, liver, stomach, rib cage and other organs, leak out and litter the floor beneath him. His disemboweled body then slams to the ground**; **it too will be reincarnated, but now the Horcruxes are two players (one Chaser and one Beater) short – putting them in an even bigger pickle than before.**

**Paul then gets the Quaffle for the Serpents; Jean flanks him for support.**

** Meanwhile, Flippy, the coach of the Houston Horcruxes, starts to have a flashback. He used to be in the army, and had fought in a war before. His witnessing of the carnage his team is being subjected to is reminding him of the destruction he's seen in the battles he's fought in. Of course, these flashbacks always cause Flippy to go berserk, and in this instance, it's no expection. He suddenly becomes extremely enraged; as Paul and Jean fly by him, he suddenly reaches out and grabs hold of both their arms;**

Madden: He just ripped their arms right out of their sockets!

Michaels: Hmmm, well I guess St. Louis had it coming.

Harry: 'Bout time! That was a real great move on their coach's par-

Hermione: (vomits on Harry's face)

Harry: AAA! What the bloody hell was that for?

Hermione: For enjoying this travesty, you damn barbarians!

All: …

**Blood shoots out of the stumps where Paul and Jean's arms used to be; they clutch at these stumps, screaming and writhing in pain (Paul drops the Quaffle as he does so). Flippy tosses the dismembered arms aside as he looks on with a sinister smile. Meanwhile, Cuddles reclaims possession of the Quaffle for the Horcruxes.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_**This Game Break takes place in Columbus, Ohio, where the Columbus Pixies are hosting the Tampa Bay Trolls. The score is 60-10, Columbus. Eddy and Timmy Turner are both chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams. Rolf is flanking Eddy, covering his back. Then…**_

_Cosmo: Stupefy!_

_**Cosmo casts a Stunning Spell at Rolf in an attempt to deny Eddy of his support, but Rolf dodges, and the spell hits Timmy, knocking him unconscious as he falls off his broom.**_

_Cosmo/Wanda: (gasp) TIMMY!_

_**With no one to stop him, Eddy catches the Golden Snitch, and the Tamp Bay Trolls defeat the Columbus Pixies, 160-60.**_

**BACK TO HOUSTON**

Michaels: Finally, Jared is after the Snitch!

Hermione: I just hope someone catches it before someone else gets hurt or killed!

**As Splendid continues after the Golden Snitch, Jared suddenly comes in to the picture, in pursuit of the Snitch for the St. Louis Serpents. Before long, he pulls alongside Splendid, and the two start to jockey for position.**

** Flippy, the Horcruxes coach looks on with anticipation. He sees that the two Seekers are just about to fly right by him; seizing the chance, when they do reach him, he reaches out and takes a hold of Jared's arm…**

Madden: WHOA, he just tipped Jared's arm right out of his socket!

Hermione: Oh, that is IT! This game is over!

Michaels: That it is; Splendid has just caught the Snitch and the Horcruxes win it!

**Jared reels in extreme pain as the blood shoots out from where Flippy ripped his arm off, and he's forced to back out of the chase for the Snitch. Splendid goes on to catch the Snitch, and the Houston Horcruxes defeat the St. Louis Serpents, 160-10.**

Hermione: This game should not have happened! This was a damn atrocity! None of these players deserved to get hurt or killed like they did!

Madden: Well from what I understand, the Horcruxes' dead players will be reincarnated, and the Serpents' players can find wizard doctors to regrow their missing arms-

Hermione: I swear if I had any more vomit, I'd throw up you right now!

**As the Houston home crowd cheers wildly for their team's win, the Horcruxes take the pieces of Giggles and Lifty and take them to the hospital wing to be rebuilt and reincarnated. Paul, Jean and Jared of the Serpents also head to the hospital wing to find some wizard doctors that can use some Potterverse magic to regrow their arms that were ripped off in the game.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls – 190; Dallas Hippogriffs – 10**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 200; Miami Goblins – 100**

**Charlotte Hallows – 0; Las Vegas Night Elves – 160**

**Detroit Unicorns – 50; Philadelphia Thestrals – 180**

**Indiana Slughorns – 30; Portland Parselmouths – 170**

**Kansas City Inferi – 210; Seattle Vampires – 10**

**London Chimeras – 10; Rome Fairies – 200**

**Los Angeles Undead – 170; Washington Ministry – 20**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters – 350; Denver Dementors – 0**

**Minnesota Wormtails – 180; Richmond Werewolves – 60**

**New England Griffins – 220; Nashville Basilisks – 30**

**New Orleans Dark Mark – 250; Chicago Fire Crabs – 0**

**New York Dragons – 50; San Francisco Seers – 210**

**Oklahoma Orcs – 90; Louisville Phantoms – 230**

**Osaka Oni – 240; Montreal Manticores – 30**

**Paris Veela – 40; Milan Witchhunters – 230**

**San Antonio Centaurs – 180; Arizona Phoenixes – 20**

**Tampa Bay Trolls – 160; Columbus Pixies – 60**

**Tokyo Tengu – 90; Toronto Salamanders – 150**

**Toulouse Sphinxes – 190; Mexico City Chupacabras – 30**

**Vancouver Grindylows – 10; Kyoto Kappa – 220**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (13-4)**

** Washington Ministry (10-7)**

** Miami Goblins (7-10)**

** Richmond Werewolves (6-11)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (11-6)**

** Columbus Pixies (10-7)**

** New York Dragons (6-11)**

** Indiana Slughorns (5-12)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (12-5)**

** Louisville Phantoms (11-6)**

** Houston Horcurxes (6-11)**

** Nashville Basilisks (5-12)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (11-6)**

** Seattle Vampires (9-8)**

** Los Angeles Undead (7-10)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (6-11)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (11-6)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (9-8)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (6-11)**

** St. Louis Serpents (5-12)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (10-7)**

** Kansas City Inferi (9-8)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (9-8)**

** Detroit Unicorns (5-12)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (12-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (10-7)**

** Atlanta Owls (8-9)**

** Charlotte Hallows (7-10)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (13-4)**

** San Francisco Seers (9-8)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (8-9)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (7-10)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (10-7)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (10-7)**

** Rome Fairies (9-8)**

** Milan Witchhunters (5-12)**

** Paris Veela (4-13)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (11-6)**

** Toronto Salamanders (10-7)**

** Kyoto Kappa (9-8)**

** Osaka Oni (9-8)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (6-11)**

** Montreal Manticores (6-11)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (4-13)**

Michaels: Well this may very well be one of THE most messed-up games we've ever seen! Don't know what else to say, except to join us next week – hopefully, the events of this game haven't put any of you off…


	48. Week 18 Prologue

** Week 18 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Atlanta Owls vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Louisville Phantoms**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Columbus Pixies vs New York Dragons**

**Denver Dementors vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Kyoto Kappa va Toronto Salamanders**

**London Chimeras vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Tokyo Tengu**

**New England Griffins vs Miami Goblins**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Osaka Oni vs Montreal Manticores**

**Paris Veela vs Milan Witchhunters**

**San Francisco Seers vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Seattle Vampires vs San Antonio Centaurs **

**St. Louis Serpents vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Rome Fairies vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Washington Ministry vs Richmond Werewolves**

** Game of the Week; Tampa Bay Trolls vs Vancouver Grindylows.**

** See you in Vancouver!**


	49. Week 18 Tampa Bay vs Vancouver

** Week 18 Game of the Week; Tampa Bay Trolls vs Vancouver Grindylows.**

** Team rosters;**

**Tampa Bay Trolls**

** Chaser: Edd (#29)**

** Chaser: Sarah (#47)**

** Chaser: Jonny 2X4 (#24)**

** Beater: Ed (#27)**

** Beater: Rolf (#51)**

** Keeper: Nazz (#67)**

** Seeker: Eddy [C] (#31)**

** Coach: Kevin**

**Vancouver Grindylows**

** Chaser: Emma (#32)**

** Chaser: Lauren Ridgemount (#30)**

** Chaser: Tyler Ridgemount (#38)**

** Beater: Reef [C] (#34)**

** Beater: Fin McCloud (#19)**

** Keeper: Johnny (#86)**

** Seeker: Broseph (#83)**

** Coach: Andrew Baumer**

** Take it away, FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Welcome back to the World League of Cartoon Quidditch, eh? We only have a few weeks left in the regular season, but we still have some great ones left over. Last week, to put it mildly, was literally a bloodfest if there ever was one, but the Horcruxes came out victorious. We have another international game for you today, this time we're in the Canadian Pacific Northwest, where the Vancouver Grindylows are hosting the Tampa Bay Trolls! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Honestly, Vancouver REALLY needs a win here today, but it's not like it'll matter much. Their 4-13 record is one of the two worst in the league, alongside the Paris Veela. And they're playing the Tampa Bay Trolls, one of the best four teams in the league, alongside the Birmingham War Pigs, New England Griffins, and Portland Parselmouths. Simply put, I don't know how Vancouver's gonna get through this one.

Ron: Maybe they'd be in better shape if they had some superpowered characters on their team, maybe some weapons specialist, or even some wizards, instead of a bunch of retarded, laid back, teenage surfers.

Hermione: Well the Milan Witchhunters have all the super powers they could ask for, and they're what, 5-12? There's no way THEY'RE gonna make the playoffs – but that's beside the point. The point is I don't like-

Harry: You don't like these characters beating up on each other. Yeah, we know. Of course, that's what Bludgers are for, heh heh!

Michaels: Hmmm...

...

Edd: OK guys, we're pretty much locked in the playoffs. Just play fairly for these last few games, and we should be okay.

Eddy: Whatever. These Canadians don't stand a chance!

Ed: Canadians are weird!

Jonny: Ha! Plank says, 'Canada sucks!'

**As is customary in every Quidditch game, when the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are released, they fly away to adjacent area where they cannot be spotted by any of the players. Then the Quaffle is taken by the referee to the center of the pitch, from where is tossed up high into the air.**

Michaels: And here we go – it's on in Canada!

**The Vancouver Grindylows seem like they have a flicker of hope at the very start – one of their players, Tyler Ridgemount is the first to gain possession of the Quaffle. He's looking like he's about to shoot at Tampa Bay's goal when suddenly, Jonny 2X4 pops up beside him and snatches the Quaffle away before he can do anything with it.**

Tyler: Hey, what the...

Jonny: Plank says, 'Grindylows suck, Trolls rule!'

**From here, Jonny starts to take the Quaffle in the other direction. Lauren Ridgemount makes a rush at him, but she can't get the Quaffle from his grasp. Fin McCloud hits a Bludger at him, but it misses and almost hits Emma. As for Jonny, he manages to get through all of this as he makes his way up to the Vancouver goal;**

Michaels: And he SCORES! 10 points to the Tampa Bay Trolls!

Edd: A most excellent shot, if I do say so myself.

Jonny: Are you kiddin'? Plank says that was awesome!

Madden: Notice; Johnny – Vancouver's Johnny – was in the right place in the right time. But he just let the Quaffle slip right through his arms! I guarantee you, it's stuff like that that's led to the Grindylows losing so many games!

**After the goal, Johnny (Vancouver's Keeper) throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is caught by Lauren Ridgemount.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Toulouse, France, where the Toulouse Sphinxes are hosting the Rome Fairies. Both teams have yet to score a goal. Aelita Stones has the Quaffle for the Toulouse Sphinxes, but before she can make any good on it, she gets hit in the head by a Bludger, thanks to Musa.**_

_**...**_

_** Bloom takes the Quaffle for the Rome Fairies, and after avoiding a Bludger hit from Ulrich Stern, scores a goal to put the Fairies up 10-0.**_

__**BACK TO VANCOUVER**

** Ed hits a Bludger at Lauren Ridgemount, but it misses horribly.**

Ed: Uhh...

Sarah: Ed, you nimrod!

**Sarah then makes a rush at Lauren, but she passes it to Emma before she can get to her. No Bludgers are available, and neither Edd nor Jonny 2X4 are in range to stop her. Taking these factors in to consideration, Emma promptly flies in to the Tampa Bay scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: And she SCORES! We are now tied at 10!

Lauren: You go, girl!

Nazz: Dammit!

Edd: It's okay, Nazz. It's a tie game; at least they're not in the lead.

**Emma scores on her shot – as a result, the Vancouver Grindylows end up tying up the game at 10. Nazz then very reluctantly throws the Quaffle back into play; it is Sarah who catches the ball for the Tampa Bay Trolls.**

** Reef then tries to hit a Bludger at Sarah; it misses and heads for Rolf. Rolf however, being a Beater, whacks the Bludger right at Reef; it just barely misses his head.**

Rolf: You good for nothing Canucks make Rolf nauseous to his gizzard!

Reef: (scoff)

**Meanwhile…**

Michaels: Uh oh! Broseph's gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Like I told you before the start of the game; Vancouver NEEDS this win! Maybe they can get it here?

Ron: Honestly, what the bloody hell kind of a name is that; Broseph?

Harry: I don't know, but it sounds fake and gay.

Hermione: Guys, can we just watch the game, please?

**While the two teams continue to fight over the Quaffle, Broseph goes in to pursuit of the Golden Snitch for the Vancouver Grindylows, hoping to get a very much-needed win for his team. While he is pretty fast, he is, shall we say, not the fastest Seeker in the league, so it does take a while for him to catch up to the Golden Snitch. And even when he does catch up to it, the Snitch rapidly jinks either to the left or to the right, effectively evading his grip each time.**

** In the meantime, Edd has possession of the Quaffle for the Tampa Bay Trolls. He is about halfway there to the Grindylows' goal when suddenly, Tyler Ridgemount charges hard at him from his 3-o'clock, as if he is trying to collide with him…**

Michaels: There's a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Madden: I did see Tyler Ridgemount look like he was going to try and fly right into Edd-

Hermione: This is going to be a Blatching call against Vancouver!

**The penalty whistle is blown before Tyler can ram into Edd, thus stopping all of the action on the pitch. The referee's call;**

Referee: Blatching. Vancouver, #38. Penalty shot for Tampa Bay!

Tyler: Oh, for the love of God!

Edd: Tsk, tsk. That's what happens when you violate the rules and regulations of this sport, you know.

**Tyler Ridgemount gets slapped with a Blatching penalty; therefore the Tampa Bay Trolls will get a penalty shot. Since it was Edd who almost got t-boned, he volunteers to take the shot. Johnny (Vancouver's Johnny) will attempt to block this shot;**

Michaels: Edd SCORES! The Trolls take the lead!

Eddy: You really handed their asses to them, Double-D!

Nazz: Come here, you! (kisses Edd on the cheek)

Edd: (blushes and giggles)

**Edd scores a goal on the penalty shot, and the Tampa Bay Trolls take the lead, 20-10. Meanwhile, the Quaffle is thrown back into play, where Lauren Ridgemount comes up with it for the Grindylows.**

** But then, Rolf hits a Bludger in Lauren's direction;**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Baumer: Timeout, damn it!

Rolf: That'll teach you filthy Canucks to mess around with the Trolls!

**Rolf's Bludger hits Lauren Ridgemount in the head, knocking her off of her broom. Andrew Baumer, coach of the Vancouver Grindylows, calls timeout. He and the rest of the team fly down to check on their teammate.**

Reef: Oh my God, are you alright?

Lauren: (gets up) Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm alright.

Reef: Thank God! I don't know what I'd too if something happened to you! (kisses Lauren)

Baumer: Alright, save the lovefest for later! These Trolls are whooping our asses, and they're gonna beat us for sure if we don't up our game! We need more goals for sure. And Broseph – I don't care what the hell you have to do, just catch that Snitch before they do! Right then, LET'S DO IT!

**With that, the Vancouver Grindylows remount, the timeout is called off, and the game resumes.**

** Emma then ends up with the Quaffle for the Grindylows. Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Eddy's gone after the Snitch!

Harry: Oh, boy. At this rate, Vancouver is pretty much screwed.

Hermione: I'd still like to see the Grindylows pull one out here – I'm just glad no one is doing anything freaky.

Ron: (facepalm)

**While Eddy pursues the Snitch for his team;**

Michaels: Vancouver SCORES! We're tied at 20!

Emma: Yay, I scored a goal!

Nazz: Dammit, what am I doing wrong!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Charlotte, North Carolina, where the Charlotte Hallows are hosting the London Chimeras. The score is tied 40. Both Perry the Platypus and Gumball Watterson are chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams, jockeying each other for position, trying to knock each other off course. That's when Richard Watterson hits a Bludger that knocks Perry off of his broom and out of the chase for the Snitch.**_

_Phineas/Ferb: (gasp) PERRY!_

_Richard: (snickering)_

_**Gumball goes on to catch the Snitch, and the London Chimeras defeat the Charlotte Hallows, 190-40.**_

__**BACK TO VANCOUVER**

** After Emma's goal, Nazz throws the Quaffle to Jonny 2X4. But then Fin McCloud hits a Bludger at him and he's forced to pass it to Sarah as he dodges it. Sarah manages to make it halfway to the Vancouver goal, but then Lauren Ridgemount steals it from him. But before she can get to the Tampa Bay scoring area, Edd steals the Quaffle from her. He ends up losing it to Emma before reaching the Vancouver scoring area.**

** While the Chasers from the opposing teams continue to squabble over the Quaffle, Broseph and Eddy are both in hot pursuit of the Golden Snitch. The two are constantly hitting and rubbing against each other, trying to take away each other's momentum.**

** Then Ed sees an opportunity. He sees a Bludger headed for him; timing it just right, he takes his bat and whacks the Bludger with all his might, sending it right in Broseph's direction;**

Madden: Boom, head shot!

Ed: Pow, right in the kisser! (laughs)

Hermione: Well, there you have it. The Grindylows have just lost… again!

**Ed's Bludger hits Broseph in the head, knocking him off his broom and out of the chase for the Snitch. Then...**

Eddy: Oh, HELL YEAH! I got the Snitch!

Michaels: And it is over! Eddy has the Golden Snitch! Trolls win!

**Eddy catches the Golden Snitch, and the Tampa Bay Trolls defeat the Vancouver Grindylows, 170-20. The Grindylows all hang their heads and shame, having lost yet another game in their dismal season. The Vancouver home crowd also hang their heads in shame as they leave the stadium. The Trolls, on the other hand, all celebrate wildly as they've scored yet another win in their excellent season. **

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes – 60; Las Vegas Night Elves – 180**

**Atlanta Owls – 160; New Orleans Dark Mark – 50**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 170; Louisville Phantoms – 70**

**Chicago Fire Crabs – 150; Milwaukee Death Eaters – 90**

**Columbus Pixies – 80; New York Dragons – 200**

**Denver Dementors – 50; Los Angeles Undead – 220**

**Detroit Unicorns – 10; Kansas City Inferi – 240**

**Houston Horcruxes – 0; Nashville Basilisks – 150**

**Indiana Slughorns – 190; Philadelphia Thestrals – 40**

**Kyoto Kappa – 230; Toronto Salamanders – 20**

**London Chimeras – 190; Charlotte Hallows – 40**

**Mexico City Chupacabras – 180; Tokyo Tengu – 50**

**New England Griffins – 40; Miami Goblins – 180**

**Oklahoma Orcs – 220; Dallas Hippogriffs – 30**

**Osaka Oni – 250; Montreal Manticores – 0**

**Paris Veela – 160; Milan Witchhunters – 80**

**Rome Fairies – 30; Toulouse Sphinxes – 160**

**San Francisco Seers – 100; Portland Parselmouths – 210**

**Seattle Vampires – 200; San Antonio Centaurs – 50 **

**St. Louis Serpents – 150; Minnesota Wormtails – 10**

**Washington Ministry – 60; Richmond Werewolves – 170**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (13-5)**

** Washington Ministry (10-8)**

** Miami Goblins (8-10)**

** Richmond Werewolves (7-11)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (11-7)**

** Columbus Pixies (10-8)**

** New York Dragons (7-11)**

** Indiana Slughorns (6-12)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (12-6)**

** Louisville Phantoms (11-7)**

** Houston Horcurxes (6-12)**

** Nashville Basilisks (6-12)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (11-7)**

** Seattle Vampires (10-8)**

** Los Angeles Undead (8-10)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (7-11)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (11-7)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (10-8)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (6-12)**

** St. Louis Serpents (6-12)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (11-7)**

** Kansas City Inferi (10-8)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (9-9)**

** Detroit Unicorns (5-13)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (13-5)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (10-8)**

** Atlanta Owls (9-9)**

** Charlotte Hallows (7-11)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (14-4)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (9-9)**

** San Francisco Seers (9-9)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (7-11)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (11-7)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (11-7)**

** Rome Fairies (9-9)**

** Paris Veela (5-13)**

** Milan Witchhunters (5-13)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (11-7)**

** Kyoto Kappa (10-8)**

**Osaka Oni (10-8)**

** Toronto Salamanders (10-8)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (7-11)**

** Montreal Manticores (6-12)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (4-14)**

Michaels: See you back in the States next week, everybody!


	50. Engagement

Time for another side story – this will be the last one before the playoffs.

This one takes place on Saturday evening, the night before Week 19. It is set in a hotel in Kyoto, Japan, which shall remain nameless. In this hotel room are Yugi Moto, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor, Joey Wheeler, Mai Valentine, Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba, and Maximillion Pegasus – all members of the Cartoon Quidditch team known as the Kyoto Kappa. Also there is Serenity Wheeler, sister of Joey Wheeler and girlfriend of Seto Kaiba – while not technically a part of the team, she has been traveling with them, supporting her brother and her boyfriend.

Anyway, here's the current situation; the Kappa are currently in a vicious heat for the International Pacific division wild card into the playoffs – they're in a three-way tie for the wild card spot, along with the Toronto Salamanders and their next-door rivals, the Osaka Oni. The Kappa's next game is to be played tomorrow at home versus the Oni. Right now, the team is discussing how they can beat the Oni and the Salamanders for that spot in the playoffs;

"I'm honestly not worried about the Salamanders," Yugi is saying. "It's the Oni I'm worried about!"

"I know, right?" Joey replies. "I mean, everyone knows that they all have these creepy alien superpowers and junk. Honestly, that just creeps me out!"

"Oh come on, lighten up!" Tea reassures them. "Their win-loss record is the same as ours. If all of those other teams can beat them, then so can we!"

"Well, what if the Salamanders win out and we don't?" Tristan asks. "Then we'll be out of the playoffs for sure, because it looks like the Tokyo Tengu are gonna make the playoffs no matter what. And there's only one other playoff spot left, so…"

"Don't worry about the Tengu," Tea answers. "I just know we'll beat the Oni and the Salamanders, and that's what counts!"

"But what if we don't?" Joey jumps in.

At this point, the conservation turns into a sea of cross-talk between the players, all of them debating about the outcomes of their future games, about whether or not they'll make the playoffs, etc. Then the team's coach, Pegasus, jumps in, saying, "Everyone! CALM DOWN!"

A hush falls upon the team as they listen to their coach. "Now listen," Pegasus says, "I have a plan that may help us get that wild card spot. Here, have these." He hands out ear microphones to the whole team, one for each player, as he explains, "I'll be using my trusty Millennium Eye to read the minds of our opponents and get in on their plans – I'll use these ear microphones to tell you their moves before they happen, so that we can stay one step ahead of the game. That oughta help get us into the playoffs."

After a moment of silence the team shares to contemplate this, Joey bursts out, "Why didn't you think of this before, you moron?"

And Pegasus replies, "Well, I didn't think our situation would end up being this serious. But it has. And now that we have these, uh, "tools," I assure you we'll be able to get through this and make the playoffs!"

After the team has another moment of silence to let that sink in, Pegasus says, "Alright, if no one has anything else to say, then I guess we'll-" Suddenly, Seto Kaiba breaks in, "Wait, hold up!" Serenity and I have a huge announcement!"

"Alright, what would that be?" asks Pegasus.

"Well, we were gonna keep it a secret until after the Quidditch season is over," Serenity explains, "but you guys are our friends, so we'll tell you." Then, with their arms around each other, Kaiba says it; "Serenity and I… ARE GETTING MARRIED!"

The jaws of Yugi, Tea and Tristan all drop simultaneously, as they don't know how else to react to this big news. Mokuba, on the other hand, is hysterically happy. "That is so awesome!" he cries out as he throws himself at his brother and hugs him tight. "My big brother's getting married!" Then he moves to Serenity and hugs her, saying, "I just know you two are gonna be SO perfect together!"

It is this display of elation that bring Yugi, Tea and Tristan to clap their hands in applause. Pegasus, meanwhile, maintains a mild, cool-headed smile – he'd read Kaiba and Serenity's minds with his Millennium Eye, so he saw it coming. In other words, he's just as pleased as everyone else.

Joey however, is not. He just sits there with a pale expression on his face. Serenity notices this and becomes a bit worried. "Uh, Joey? You okay?" she asks. Mai then steps in and says sheepishly, "Uh, Joey's so happy he can't speak."

"Uh-huh," Serenity says sarcastically, still not convinced.

"Well, now that that's out of the way," Pegasus jumps in, "we should probably all go and get something to eat!" Most everyone enthusiastically agrees. They all get their stuff and start to head out the door, except for Joey, who's still not taking well to his sister's announcement. Mai stays to check up on him. As everyone else is leaving, Serenity notices Joey and Mai and says, "Hey Kaiba? I'm gonna stay and talk to Joey. I really don't think he's taking our news well at all."

"Alright, do what you gotta do," Kaiba shrugs. "I assume you'll be joining us when you've worked it out."

Serenity nods, waves goodbye to Kaiba, and then sits down beside Joey. As she and Mai both put their arms around him, Serenity pleads with her brother, "Please tell me what's wrong! I really don't see why you have to be so jealous; you have a sweet lady who loves you."

Mai gives Joey a kiss on the cheek to back this statement up. And Joey answers, "No it's not that at all! Kaiba's an OK guy and all, but the thing is, now that you're getting married, I'm really worried... that you and I... are gonna drift apart!"

Serenity and Mai exchange incredulous glances. "Is that what's bothering you?" asks Mai. Joey nods.

"Oh, that's a terrible thought!"croons Serenity. She wraps Joey up in a hug and says, "You're my brother, and I'll always love you! And sure, I may be getting married, but you're my family too, so we'll still be close. Besides, our relationships with Kaiba and Mai haven't driven us apart before, have they?"

"I... I guess not." stammers Joey.

"Then it shouldn't be any different after I'm married," Serenity says with confidence. "And who knows, you and Mai may even get married someday."

Joey looks at Mai, who winks at him with a smile on her face. He then turns to Serenity with a smile of his own, saying, "You know what? I believe you. I believe we'll still be close, even after we're both married."

"That's my big brother!" Serenity chuckles as she pats Joey on the back. "Alright, well I'm gonna join Kaiba and the others. Guess I'll leave you two alone and let you share a moment."

"OK, see ya," Joey says as Serenity heads out the door.

Mai, seeing an opportunity, gets real close to Joey and says, "You know, you really are lucky to have her as sister."

"Yeah, I just wish we weren't separated as kids," Joey responds. "Imagine how much better life woulda been back then!"

"I bet!" smiles Mai. Her mood then turns sentimental as she cups Joey's face in her hands and asserts, "And I know I don't say this enough, but I'm SO lucky to have you! I love you, Joey!" And with that, she very gently locks lips with Joey. The two softly kiss each other for about 10 seconds, then they smile into each other's faces for another few seconds, after which Joey replies, "I love you too, Mai!"

"Great! Now let's get back with the others, 'cause I'm starving!" says Mai.

"Alright, let's go then," responds Joey.

And so, having had their moment, Mai and Joey head out of the hotel room to join the rest of the team for dinner.


	51. Week 19 Prologue

**Week 19 match-ups;**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Columbus Pixies vs New England Griffins**

**Denver Dementors vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Washington Ministry**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Louisville Phantoms vs New York Dragons**

**Miami Goblins vs Seattle Vampires**

**Milan Witchhunters vs London Chimeras**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Montreal Manticores vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Osaka Oni vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Atlanta Owls**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Richmond Werewolves vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**San Francisco Seers vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Rome Fairies**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Paris Veela**

**Vancouver Grindylows vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Game of the Week; Las Vegas Night Elves vs Nashville Basilisks.**

** See you in Nashville!**


	52. Week 19 Las Vegas vs Nashville

** Week 19 Game of the Week; Las Vegas Night Elves vs Nashville Basilisks.**

** Team rosters;**

**Las Vegas Night Elves**

** Chaser: Beavis [C] (#24)**

** Chaser: Butt-Head (#48)**

** Chaser: Daria Morgendorffer (#88)**

** Beater: Todd Ianuzzi (#39)**

** Beater: David Van Driessen (#30)**

** Keeper: Principal McVicker (#41)**

** Seeker: Stewart Stevenson (#76)**

** Coach: Bradley Buzzcut**

**Nashville Basilisks**

** Chaser: Ren Hoek [C] (#77)**

** Chaser: Powdered Toast Man (#49)**

** Chaser: Muddy Mudskipper (#26)**

** Beater: Mr. Horse (#18)**

** Beater: Haggis McHaggis (#81)**

** Keeper: Sven Hoek (#78)**

** Seeker: Stimpy J. Cat (#32)**

** Coach: George Liquor**

** FOX?**

Michaels: Welcome back to the World League of Cartoon Quidditch! Last week, we saw one of the league's top teams, the Tampa Bay Trolls, defeating the Vancouver Grindylows in their very own Canada. This week, we're back in the States, with a game featuring a team that needs to win some more to get into playoffs, and another team that's pretty well out of it. Thanks for being with us today, as the Las Vegas Night Elves get set to square off against the Nashville Basilisks! I'm Al Michaels; I'm joined, as always, by John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: And as you pointed out Al, it's the Las Vegas Night Elves who need this win. Right now, they're tied at a 9-9 record with the San Francisco Seers for the National West division wild card. And this is a great opportunity for them, as the Nashville Basilisks have a 6-12 record, which puts them out of the playoff hunt.

Harry: I wouldn't assume anything, John. We have seen games in the past in which underdogs have gone and defeated overdogs, like Milan defeating Kyoto, Montreal defeating Toronto, you get the idea.

Hermione: Yes, well to me, the best thing about this game is that neither the Night Elves nor the Basilisks have any weird powers or gadgets, so at least no one will be cheating!

Ron: Well, there is the Powdered Toast Man. I know he can shoot out lethal raisins, croutons, butter pats and marmalade. Sounds weird, but apparently it works!

Michaels: Perhaps, perhaps...

...

Daria: (monotonous) OK guys, it's great if we score goals, but just remember; our number one objective – the only way we're gonna win this game, is by catching that Golden Snitch!

Beavis: Heh heh heh, Snitch!

Butt-Head: Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches like gold diggin' bitches takin' all a man's riches!

Both: (laughing)

Daria: Ugh! Why do I even bother?

...

**As usual, before the game can be started, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are turned loose and they fly out of view from the players. When that is done, the referee walks to the center of the pitch, Quaffle in hand. Then, the Quaffle is tossed straight up high in the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is up, and we are underway here in Nashville!

**The two teams squabble over the Quaffle for a few seconds; eventually, Muddy Mudskipper comes with the Quaffle for the Nashville Basilisks. Both Beavis and Butt-Head come at him from different directions, but they both fail to take the Quaffle from him.**

** But then, just before Muddy can take his shot, the Quaffle is snatched out of his hands without warning by Daria Morgendorffer.**

Muddy: Holy shit! I just got ripped off by Diarrhea!

Beavis: Heh heh heh, diarrhea!

**Haggis McHaggis hits a Bludger in Daria's direction, but it misses and almost hits the Powdered Toast Man, who was just about to hit Daria with his hyper-acidic marmalade. Ren Hoek makes a rush at Daria, but he comes within an inch short of stealing the Quaffle from her. With no further opposition, Daria finds her way into the Nashville scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: SAVED by Sven Hoek!

Daria: (monotonous) Damn Chihuahua!

Sven: Heh heh, ze Night Elves vill not be vinning zis one!

Madden: Sven just got lucky here. Daria, with all were wisdom and intellectuality, chose to shoot right where he was hovering. Probably a lapse of smarts, but either way, it just cost the Night Elves 10 points.

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in the Tampa Bay area in Florida, where the Tampa Bay Trolls are hosting the Portland Parselmouths. Both teams have yet to score a goal. Jonny 2X4 has the Quaffle for the Tampa Bay Trolls. He's right around the center of the pitch, heading towards the Parselmouths' goal, when suddenly a Bludger, courtesy of Nelson Muntz, hits him right square in the gut, causing him to drop the Quaffle and fall off his broom.**_

_Nelson: HA HA!_

_**The Quaffle is picked up by Bart Simpson. Neither Edd nor Sarah can take it from him, and he goes on to score a goal, putting the Parselmouths in the lead 10-0.**_

**BACK TO NASHVILLE**

** After blocking the shot, Sven Hoek throws the Quaffle back into play; it is caught by his cousin, Ren Hoek. Ren manages to make it the majority of the way to the Night Elves' goal, but then a Bludger, courtesy of Todd Ianuzzi, just barely misses hitting Ren in the head. He becomes momentarily disoriented, and this allows Beavis to take the Quaffle away from him.**

** After that, Beavis and Butt-Head both fly down the Quaffle pitch together, side-by-side. Mr. Horse and Haggis McHaggis hit Bludgers at them, but Todd Ianuzzi and David Van Driessen hit them right back. Powdered Toast Man makes a rapidly fast rush at the both of them, but he flies right past them before he can get the Quaffle from Beavis, and almost flies head-first into the crowd, because he was going so fast.**

** With no one else to try and oppose them, Beavis and Butt-Head both fly into the Basilisks' scoring area...**

Michaels: Wait, hold up! We've got a penalty whistle sounding!

Hermione: This is obviously gonna be a Stooging call on Las Vegas!

Madden: Yeah, you can't have more than one Chaser in the scoring area – that gives your team an unfair advantage.

Ron: How thick can you get? Honestly!

Harry: (shrug)

**Before Beavis can shoot, the penalty whistle is blown, stopping all the action on the field and leaving both Beavis and Butt-Head in a state of confusion. The referee's call;**

Referee: Stooging. Las Vegas, #24 and #48. Penalty shot for Nashville.

Butt-Head: Stooging? Like The Three Stooges? Heh heh heh.

Daria: (monotonous) No, you retard! Only one of you can be the scoring area at a time.

Beavis: Whatever, Diarrhea!

**Beavis and Butt-Head are both slapped with a Stooging penalty, so the Nashville Basilisks will get a penalty shot. Ren Hoek volunteers to take the shot; Principal McVicker will try to keep it from going through.**

Ren: You Night Elves are going down for sure!

McVicker: I don't agree with you one bit!

Ren: What do you MEAN, you don't agree with me? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?

...

Michaels: And he SCORES! That's 10 points to the Nashville Basilisks!

Daria: (sarcastic) Thanks a lot, Beavis and Butt-Head!

**Ren scores on the penalty shot, and the Nashville Basilisks take the lead, 10-0. After the goal, Principal McVicker throws the Quaffle back into play for it to be caught by Daria Morgendorffer.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: And Stewart Stevenson is going after the Golden Snitch!

Ron: I think he's the Night Elves' only hope. You see how stupid Beavis and Butt-Head are, don't you?

Harry: True, but that Stweart Stevenson is really weak and dorky.

Hermione: (shrug) We've seen that before, heh heh!

**Some time after the Basilisks' penalty shot, Stewart Stevenson starts to chase after the Golden Snitch, trying to catch it for the Las Vegas Night Elves. Stewart is rather very small in size and stature, so it doesn't take him terribly long to catch up with the Snitch. However, as always, the Snitch is incredibly swift in its movements. This, combined with its super compact size, ensure that Stewart has a very difficult time trying to catch the Snitch, as it literally slips through his fingers every time he reaches for it.**

** In the meantime, Daria Morgendorffer still has the Quaffle for the Night Elves. No one else seems like they're going to try and take it away, but then the Powdered Toast Man appears and intervenes;**

All: OH!

Michaels: Daria is being pummeled by the Powdered Toast Man's... high velocity raisins?

Madden: She just fell off her broom!

Buzzcut: TIMEOUT!

Michaels: And the Night Elves just called timeout!

Hermione: Dammit, I was hoping something like this wouldn't happen!

Ron: Well, I assumed that he'd do something like this, and he has.

**Powdered Toast Man spits out a stream of high-velocity raisins from his mouth, pummeling Daria, causing her to drop the Quaffle, and knocking her off of her broom. Bradley Buzzcut, coach of the Las Vegas Night Elves, calls timeout. He and the rest of the team all fly down to check on their teammate;**

Buzzcut: GET ON YOUR FEET, MAGGOT! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE LOLLY-GAGGING AROUND IN DREAMLAND!

Daria: (monotonous) I'm okay. Jeez, you don't have to go ape-shit when one of your own players isn't even hurt.

Buzzcut: Whatever! NOW YOU MAGGOTS BETTER GET OUT THEIR AND WIN THIS GAME, OR SO HELP ME...

Butt-Head: Maggots sounds like faggots!

Beavis: Yeah! Yeah, it sounds like faggots, heh heh heh!

**Daria Morgendorffer remounts on her broom, unhurt. The rest of the team also remounts, the timeout is called off, and the game gets back underway.**

** Ren Hoek comes up with the Quaffle for the Basilisks. Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Stimpy J. Cat is after the Snitch!

Harry: He's the guy I'm picking to catch it. That Stewart Stevenson is such a wimpy kid. This guy, not so much.

Madden: And here comes Stewart – he's side-by-side with Stimpy!

Ron: That Stewart really seems to be holding his own, eh Harry?

Harry: Oh shut up, Ron!

**Shortly after the timeout, Stimpy J. Cat is chasing down the Golden Snitch for the Nashville Basilisks. But just as he catches up to it, Stewart Stevenson pulls right alongside him, trying to catch the Snitch for the Las Vegas Night Elves. The two race each other hard for the Snitch, trying to take away each other's momentum. However, neither Seeker is able to beat the other one...**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Kyoto, Japan, where the Kyoto Kappa are hosting the Osaka Oni. The score is 60-0, Osaka. Both Gohan and Yugi Moto are chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams, however, Yugi is a ways behind and Gohan is almost right on the Snitch. That's when Pegasus, coach of the Kyoto Kappa, contacts one of his Beaters, Seto Kaiba, via comlink;**_

_Pegasus: My Millennium Eye tells me that a Bludger will be coming at you shortly. Hit it at their Seeker and take him out!_

_Kaiba: 10-4, Pegasus._

_**Sure enough, the Bludger comes just as Pegasus predicted; Kaiba hits it with all his might – it hits Gohan right in the head, knocking him off his broom and taking him out of the chase for the Snitch.**_

_Goku: GOHAN!_

_**Eventually, Yugi Moto catches the Snitch, and the Kyoto Kappa defeat the Osaka Oni, 150-60.**_

**BACK TO NASHVILLE**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Mr. Horse hit that Bludger right into Stewart Stevenson's head, he's fallen off his broom... and it's over! Stimpy has the Snitch – Nashville wins!

Stimpy: Yay, we needed that win! Awesome!

Ren: Great job, buddy!

**After Mr. Horse knocks Stewart Stevenson off of his broom by hitting a Bludger to his head, Stimpy J. Cat is able to take advantage of this golden opportunity (no pun intended) and catch the Golden Snitch. Thus, the Nashville Basilisks defeat the Las Vegas Night Elves, 160-0.**

** The Nashville home crowd goes absolutely electric as they celebrate their team's much-needed win; while the Basilisks are effectively out of the playoff hunt, the win has provided them with a much-needed boost in morale.**

**Meanwhile, the Las Vegas Night Elves all converge down to the ground to check on their fallen Seeker; he has been knocked unconscious by the Bludger he took to the head. David Van Driessen and Principal McVicker pick him up and take him to the hospital wing while their teammates return to the locker room in shame.**

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Charlotte Hallows – 40; Chicago Fire Crabs – 170**

**Columbus Pixies – 70; New England Griffins – 180**

**Denver Dementors – 30; Birmingham War Pigs – 220**

**Houston Horcruxes – 0; Washington Ministry – 240**

**Kansas City Inferi – 240; Arizona Phoenixes – 80**

**Los Angeles Undead – 40; Indiana Slughorns – 190**

**Louisville Phantoms – 30; New York Dragons – 180**

**Miami Goblins – 190; Seattle Vampires – 50**

**Milan Witchhunters – 90; London Chimeras – 150**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters – 90; St. Louis Serpents – 160**

**Minnesota Wormtails – 20; Detroit Unicorns – 200**

**Montreal Manticores – 170; Mexico City Chupacabras – 60**

**New Orleans Dark Mark – 70; Dallas Hippogriffs – 160**

**Osaka Oni – 60; Kyoto Kappa – 150**

**Philadelphia Thestrals – 220; Atlanta Owls – 20**

**Portland Parselmouths – 210; Tampa Bay Trolls – 10**

**Richmond Werewolves – 170; San Antonio Centaurs – 50**

**San Francisco Seers – 230; Oklahoma Orcs – 50**

**Tokyo Tengu – 190; Rome Fairies – 60**

**Toulouse Sphinxes – 50; Paris Veela – 200**

**Vancouver Grindylows – 0; Toronto Salamanders – 150**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (14-5)**

** Washington Ministry (11-8)**

** Miami Goblins (9-10)**

** Richmond Werewolves (8-11)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (12-7)**

** Columbus Pixies (10-9)**

** New York Dragons (8-11)**

** Indiana Slughorns (7-12)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (13-6)**

** Louisville Phantoms (11-8)**

** Nashville Basilisks (7-12)**

** Houston Horcurxes (6-13)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (11-8)**

** Seattle Vampires (10-9)**

** Los Angeles Undead (8-11)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (8-11)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (12-7)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (10-9)**

** St. Louis Serpents (7-12)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (6-13)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (12-7)**

** Kansas City Inferi (11-8)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (9-10)**

** Detroit Unicorns (6-13)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (13-6)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (10-9)**

** Atlanta Owls (9-10)**

** Charlotte Hallows (7-12)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (15-4)**

** San Francisco Seers (10-9)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (9-10)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (7-12)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (12-7)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (11-8)**

** Rome Fairies (9-10)**

** Paris Veela (6-13)**

** Milan Witchhunters (5-14)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (12-7)**

** Kyoto Kappa (11-8)**

** Toronto Salamanders (11-8)**

**Osaka Oni (10-9)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (7-12)**

** Montreal Manticores (7-12)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (4-15)**

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying so long from Nashville, and we hope to see you all next week!


	53. Week 20 Prologue

**Week 20 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Atlanta Owls vs Kansas City Inferi**

**Dallas Hippogriffs vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Indiana Slughorns vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**London Chimeras vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Rome Fairies**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Osaka Oni**

**Nashville Basilisks vs Denver Dementors**

**New England Griffins vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**New York Dragons vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Detroit Unicorns**

**Paris Veela vs Montreal Manticores**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**San Antonio Centaurs vs Miami Goblins**

**Seattle Vampires vs Houston Horcruxes**

**St. Louis Serpents vs San Francisco Seers**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Tokyo Tengu vs Kyoto Kappa**

**Toronto Salamanders vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Washington Ministry vs Columbus Pixies**

** Game of the Week; Louisville Phantoms vs Rome Fairies.**

** See you in Rome!**


	54. Week 20 Louisville vs Rome

** Week 20 Game of the Week; Louisville Phantoms vs Rome Fairies.**

** Team rosters;**

**Louisville Phantoms**

** Chaser: Danny Phantom [C] (#16)**

** Chaser: Sam Manson (#61)**

** Chaser: Tucker Foley (#21)**

** Beater: Valerie Gray (#05)**

** Beater: Paulina (#74) **

** Keeper: Maddie Fenton (#79)**

** Seeker: Jazz Fenton (#63)**

** Coach: Jack Fenton**

**Rome Fairies**

** Chaser: Bloom [C] (#47)**

** Chaser: Stella (#50)**

** Chaser: Flora (#52)**

** Beater: Musa (#54)**

** Beater: Tecna (#43)**

** Keeper: Aisha (#38)**

** Seeker: Roxy (#81)**

** Coach: Sky**

** Tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Ciao, Quidditch fans! We have another tantalizing international match-up for all you guys this week; this will be the first game broadcast from Italy! The last time we saw an Italian team in action was back in Week 8, when the Milan Witchhunters defeated the Kyoto Kappa in Japan. This week, we have a team that is still in the playoff hunt, but just barely. Thanks for being with us this week, as the Rome Fairies will be hosting the Louisville Phantoms! I'm Al Michaels; alongside me is John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Like you said Al, the Rome Fairies are in the playoff hunt, but again, just barely. The only way they can make the International Euro division wild card is if they win all of their last three games AND if the Toulouse Sphinxes lose all three of theirs. I don't know about you guys, but I sure as hell don't like their chances.

Harry: I actually kind of like the Fairies' chances for this game. We haven't gotten to see them use them, but it is known that they have a real boatload of fairy powers in their arsenal they can tear their opponents apart with - if they made better use of them, maybe they'd be leading the Euro division!

Ron: Maybe, but then there's the Louisville Phantoms, and we've all seen what their Danny Phantom can do – rumor is he can possess other people's bodies and make them do whatever in the bloody hell he wants.

Hermione: God, I hope we don't see any of that tonight, or else the Fairies won't stand a chance!

Michaels: Hmmm…

…

Tucker: I don't like this, you guys. Those Fairies have much more superpowers than we have – I'm worried they're gonna crush us!

Danny: Dude, I'm a phantom! I can go ghost and beat all these damn Fairies into submission – and then we WILL win this!

Sam: Ah, that there is why I love you! (kisses Danny on cheek)

…

**The referee releases the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch to fly anywhere that's out of sight from the players. Then the Quaffle is taken to the center of the pitch and tossed skyward.**

Michaels: And we are underway in Italy!

**Bloom is the first to fly towards the Quaffle – however it's Sam Manson who ends up gaining possession for the Louisville Phantoms. As she's headed toward the Fairies' goal, a Bludger almost knocks her off of her broom, forcing her to pass it to Tucker Foley. This turns out to be a not so smart move on Sam's part; just as Tucker is about to enter the Fairies' scoring area, Stella pops up from out of nowhere and snatches the Quaffle away from Tucker before he can shoot it.**

Tucker: Hey, what the-

Stella: Ha ha ha! Scrawny-ass geeks like you shouldn't even be playing Quidditch!

**From there, Stella goes in the other direction with the Quaffle. Danny Phantom makes an attempt to take it back for the Phantoms, but Stella proves to be too fast from him. A Bludger then heads in her direction, but Musa hits in towards the Phantoms' side of the pitch. And since none of Louisville's Chasers are within range to stop Stella, she very quickly makes her way to the Phantoms' goal;**

Michaels: She SCORES! 10 points to the Rome Fairies!

Stella: Wooo yeah, I'm awesome!

Bloom: That was pretty stellar, Stella, heh heh!

Madden: Now not only was that a great job of shooting at a hoop that Maddie Fenton wasn't defending, but her shooting power is so high that the Quaffle just speeds right on through the hoop before Maddie can do one freakin' thing about it! Stellar shot by Stella, heh heh!

Hermione: Seriously, that was a stupid joke!

Ron: (facepalm)

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in New Orleans, Louisiana, where the New Orleans Dark Mark are hosting the Arizona Phoenixes. The score is 10-0, New Orleans. Leela has the Quaffle for the Arizona Phoenixes and is getting ready to shoot when this happens;**_

_Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos!_

…

_Fry: LEELA!_

_**Raven conjures up a blast of dark magic to knock Leela off her broom and make her drop the Quaffle. Terra then picks up the Quaffle and scores a goal shortly after that, extending the Dark Mark's lead to 20.**_

**BACK TO ROME**

** Maddie Fenton throws the Quaffle back into play after the goal; her son Danny Phantom is the one who catches it. Both Stella and Flora approach him from both sides; in order to keep either of them from taking the Quaffle away, Danny passes it to Tucker Foley, who's flying just ahead of them. Then a Bludger, courtesy of Tecna, heads right for him, but it misses and almost hits Musa. Tucker heads the rest of the way to the Fairies' goal, but before he can shoot, Bloom, who's hovering not too far away, generates a giant fireball with her pyrokinetic powers and lobs it at Tucker…**

All: OH!

Jack: TIMEOUT, dammit!

Madden: Tucker's just been blasted off of his broom by some kind of giant fireball…

Ron: Bloody hell, he's on fire!

Tucker: (screaming)

Michaels: Tucker Foley is on fire, he's rolling around on the ground…

Hermione: Bloom should be ejected! She could've killed him!

Harry: That should depend on whether Tucker is okay or not…

**Tucker Foley is knocked off his broom and set on fire by Bloom's fireball. Jack Fenton, coach of the Louisville Phantoms calls timeout as Tucker rolls on the ground, trying to put the fire out…**

Sam: OH MY GOD, SOMEONE BRING A FUCKIN' FIRE EXTINGUISHER!

Danny: I got it!

**Acting on pure instinct, Danny Phantom launches an ice beam from his hands – the beam not only extinguishes the flames, but it heals the burns caused by them. Tucker lays on the ground a while longer to recuperate, and then staggers to his feet, gives a thumbs-up to signify that he's okay, and remounts on his broom.**

Jack: OK guys, new plan. Only approach those Fairies when absolutely necessary; they could kill us!

**The team reluctantly agrees. They all remount, the timeout is terminated, and the game gets back underway.**

** Danny Phantom once again takes possession of the Quaffle for the Louisville Phantoms. Bloom makes a rush at him, so he passes it to Sam Manson. Bloom then heads for Sam, but Valerie Gray hits a Bludger at her and forces her to back off.**

** And now that she's in the clear, Sam Manson makes it to the Rome goal;**

Michaels: And she SCORES! We are now tied at 10!

Sam: (sighs in relief)

Danny: That a girl, Sammy! (kisses Sam on cheek)

Sam: (blush)

**The Quaffle flies right past Aisha's hands as she tries to catch it; thus, Sam Manson is credited with the goal, and the game is tied at 10.**

** Aisha reluctantly throws the Quaffle back into play for Flora to catch. Paulina hits a Bludger at Flora, but she avoids it and passes the Quaffle to Stella. Sam Manson makes a rush at Stella; she passes the Quaffle to Bloom before Sam can get her hands on it. Danny cannot get to Bloom and Tucker is too scared of her to try and do anything; thus, Bloom is provided with open territory on her way to the Louisville scoring area;**

Michaels: The Fairies SCORE! 20-10, Rome!

Bloom: Heh heh heh! Not so tough now, are you, Phantoms?

Maddie: Dammit Jazz, you better catch that Snitch, or we're fucked!

Madden: You know Harry, you were right! If the Fairies used these powers all the time, they'd be undefeated, instead of being almost out of the playoff hunt.

Hermione: That doesn't make it right!

Harry: (shrug) Well, it's true.

**As a result of Bloom's goal, the Rome Fairies retake the lead at 20-10. Maddie Fenton then angrily throws the Quaffle back in to play for Danny Phantom to catch.**

** Then, as Danny flies with the Quaffle in hand, Stella, using her moon-based powers, conjures up a blue energy ball known as a Moonbeam and launches it at Danny;**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Danny Phantom's been knocked off his broom – oh my god! He's flying without help back up to his broom and he's remounted!

Hermione: I have to admit that was pretty cool!

Harry: Yeah, I thought only Snape and Voldemort could do that!

Ron: Well he is Danny Phantom, after all.

Harry: True.

**After getting hit by Stella's Moonbeam, Danny Phantom falls off his broom and loses the Quaffle; he's able to use his ghost powers to fly back up onto his broom, but then Flora comes up with the Quaffle. She does not have long to go to reach the Louisville goal;**

Michaels: She SCORES! 30-10, Rome!

Flora: YAY!

Maddie: Dammit, they're killing us!

**Flora scores and the Rome Fairies go up 30-10. Once again, Maddie Fenton throws the Quaffle back into play; this time to Sam Manson.**

** But just as Sam leaves her own team's scoring area, Flora uses her nature-oriented powers to make a pair of vines grow out of the ground and reach for Sam…**

Madden: What the…

Michaels: Flora has just made two vines pop out of the ground – SHE'S CHOKING SAM MANSON!

Hermione: She's gonna kill her, dammit!

Sam: (gagging)

**The two vines that Flora conjured come up and grab Sam, wrapping around her neck and choking her. Sam gags as she struggles to get out of this viselike grip while holding on to the Quaffle. But she's totally unable to do so, and with time, she starts to lose consciousness…**

** That's when Danny Phantom takes notice.**

Danny: That's my girlfriend, you fucking cunt!

…

All: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Danny Phantom just knocked Flora clean out of the park with that energy blast, and those vines that were choking Sam Manson have now disappeared!

Danny: You okay, Sam?

Sam: Yeah, I think so.

**Flora is knocked out of the Quidditch stadium by Danny Phantom's ectoplasmic energy blast. The vines that were strangling Sam Manson release her and disappear**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Birmingham, Alabama, where the Birmingham War Pigs are hosting the New England Griffins. The score is 70-60, New England. Pickles is chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Birmingham War Pigs, in his usual drunken stupor. That's when Stewie Griffin shoots him in the side with his laser blaster, knocking him off his broom.**_

_Stewie: Victory is mine!_

_**Stewie goes on to catch the Snitch, and the New England Griffins defeat the Birmingham War Pigs 220-60.**_

**BACK TO ROME**

** Meanwhile, amidst all of the chaos, Roxy and Jazz Fenton have been chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams. Neither Seeker has more momentum than the other one. Danny sees them about to fly by and sees an opportunity;**

Danny: I'm going ghost…

Michaels: Uh, I think Danny just went ghost!

Madden: Wait, what's Roxy doing? She just broke off from the Snitch – she looks like she's possessed by a ghost or something!

Harry: Actually, I think she's possessed by a Phantom.

Hermione: Seriously? OK, it was cool when he saved his teammate, but this is just plain unfair!

**Danny Phantom goes ghost and takes possession of Roxy, causing her to break off the chase for the Snitch. Roxy, while under Danny's possession, flies toward Valerie Gray and just hovers there in front of her. Valerie then sees a Bludger coming and licks her chops. Danny Phantom then leaves Roxy's body just as Valerie hits the Bludger…**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

**Roxy is knocked off her broom by Valerie Gray's Bludger. Meanwhile…**

Jazz: YES! I've got the Snitch!

Michaels: Game over! Phantoms win!

Danny: Awesome catch, sis!

Jazz: You were awesome too, bro – especially with how you blasted that one Fairy clean outta the park!

Sam: I'll say! (kisses Danny on lips)

**The Louisville Phantoms defeat the Rome Fairies 160-30. The Phantoms celebrate for a moment, then retreat to the locker room, lest the Fairies attack them again. But the Fairies simply return to the locker room, hanging their heads as the Rome home crowd harshly boos the outcome of the game.**

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes – 30; New Orleans Dark Mark – 240****  
Atlanta Owls – 30; Kansas City Inferi – 240  
Dallas Hippogriffs – 10; Chicago Fire Crabs – 180  
Indiana Slughorns – 200; Milwaukee Death Eaters; 60  
London Chimeras – 40; Minnesota Wormtails – 170  
Los Angeles Undead – 60; Charlotte Hallows – 170  
Mexico City Chupacabras – 50; Vancouver Grindylows – 150  
Milan Witchhunters – 230; Osaka Oni – 90  
Nashville Basilisks – 60; Denver Dementors – 150  
New England Griffins – 220; Birmingham War Pigs – 60  
New York Dragons – 210; Richmond Werewolves – 50  
Oklahoma Orcs – 190; Detroit Unicorns – 50  
Paris Veela – 160; Montreal Manticores – 10  
Philadelphia Thestrals – 210; Toulouse Sphinxes – 70  
San Antonio Centaurs – 230; Miami Goblins – 60  
Seattle Vampires – 160; Houston Horcruxes – 0  
St. Louis Serpents – 0; San Francisco Seers – 250  
Tampa Bay Trolls – 180; Las Vegas Night Elves – 20  
Tokyo Tengu – 200; Kyoto Kappa – 100  
Toronto Salamanders – 30; Portland Parselmouths – 230  
Washington Ministry – 20; Columbus Pixies – 210**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (15-5)**

** Washington Ministry (11-9)**

** Miami Goblins (9-11)**

** Richmond Werewolves (8-12)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (13-7)**

** Columbus Pixies (11-9)**

** New York Dragons (9-11)**

** Indiana Slughorns (8-12)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (13-7)**

** Louisville Phantoms (12-8)**

** Nashville Basilisks (7-13)**

** Houston Horcurxes (6-14)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (12-8)**

** Seattle Vampires (11-9)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (9-11)**

** Los Angeles Undead (8-12)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (12-8)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (11-9)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (7-13)**

** St. Louis Serpents (7-13)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (13-7)**

** Kansas City Inferi (12-8)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (9-11)**

** Detroit Unicorns (6-14)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (14-6)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (11-9)**

** Atlanta Owls (9-11)**

** Charlotte Hallows (8-12)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (16-4)**

** San Francisco Seers (11-9)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (9-11)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (7-13)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (12-8)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (11-9)**

** Rome Fairies (9-11)**

** Paris Veela (7-13)**

** Milan Witchhunters (6-14)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (13-7)**

** Kyoto Kappa (11-9)**

** Toronto Salamanders (11-9)**

**Osaka Oni (10-10)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (7-13)**

** Montreal Manticores (7-13)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (5-15)**

Michaels: See you back in the States next week, everyone!


	55. Week 21 Prologue

** Week 21 match-ups;**

**Arizona Phoenixes vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Los Angeles Undead**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Las Vegas Night Elves**

**Columbus Pixies vs Seattle Vampires**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Milan Witchhunters**

**Houston Horcruxes vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Kyoto Kappa vs London Chimeras**

**Miami Goblins vs Denver Dementors**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters vs Osaka Oni**

**Minnesota Wormtails vs Charlotte Hallows**

**Montreal Manticores vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**Nashville Basilisks vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**New England Griffins vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

**Paris Veela vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Portland Parselmouths vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Richmond Werewolves vs Atlanta Owls**

**Rome Fairies vs Kansas City Inferi**

**San Francisco Seers vs Mexico City Chupacabras**

**Toronto Salamanders vs New York Dragons**

**Washington Ministry vs Louisville Phantoms**

** Game of the Week; Richmond Werewolves vs Atlanta Owls.**

** See you in Atlanta!**


	56. Week 21 Richmond vs Atlanta

** Week 21 Game of the Week; Richmond Werewolves vs Atlanta Owls.**

** Team rosters;**

**Richmond Werewolves**

** Chaser: Donna Tubbs (#05)**

** Chaser: Roberta Tubbs (#38)**

** Chaser: Federline Jones (#16)**

** Beater: Cleveland Brown [C] (#5) **

** Beater: Cleveland, Jr. (#13)**

** Keeper: Tim The Bear (#44)**

** Seeker: Rallo Tubbs (#83)**

** Coach: Lester Krinklesac**

**Atlanta Owls**

** Chaser: Early Cuyler [C] (#21)**

** Chaser: Rusty Cuyler (#03)**

** Chaser: Lil Cuyler (#12)**

** Beater: Dan Halen (#86)**

** Beater: The Sheriff (#91)**

** Keeper: Reverend (#7)**

** Seeker: Tammi (#30)**

** Coach: Granny Cuyler**

** Take it away, FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: Well folks, we only have two weeks left in the Cartoon Quidditch regular season, but we still have some great Quidditch action left for you. Last week was one of our more chaotic games, in Italy, no less, but the Louisville Phantoms still managed to overcome the Rome Fairies and their crazy superpowers. This week, we have teams representing two Southern capitals representing two opposing ethnic groups set to battle for supremacy. Thanks for being with us, as the Richmond Werewolves get set to face off against the Atlanta Owls! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, and I'm joined by John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: It should first be pointed out, Al, that both of these teams are realistically and mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. That may not be good for either of them, but I like this sort of match-up because it shows that even this late in the season, we still get to see teams go all-out with nothing to lose, which means that it's gonna be awesome!

Hermione: Hey Al? You mentioned that these two teams represent opposing ethnic groups; do you really think that this is gonna turn into a racial conflict?

Ron: Well, the Atlanta Owls have a bunch of white trash redneck squid playing for them, so it wouldn't surprise me.

Harry: And Hermione is really gonna hate me for mentioning this, but Early Cuyler is known for his sawed-off shotgun... so if this game does turn into a race war, look out!

Michaels: Either way, this should be a great game, as they're now getting ready to release the balls...

...

Rallo: Mom, what are those weird creatures? They're scaring me!

Donna: They're called squid, Rallo. And I'm not gonna let them hurt you, don't worry. Just catch that Snitch and you should be just fine.

Rallo: Uh, OK.

...

**Like they always are, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are the first balls to be released into play – they all fly and hide in places where the players won't be able to see them. Then, when everyone and everything is ready, the referee walks to the center of the pitch with the Quaffle in hand, and promptly tosses it into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and we are underway in Atlanta!

**The two teams have a brief scramble for the Quaffle – it is Rusty Cuyler who gains possession for the Atlanta Owls. His father Early Cuyler flanks him for support.**

** Whilst on their way to the opposing team's goal, a Bludger heads right for Rusty, but Dan Halen is able to hit it in the other direction. Roberta Tubbs and Federline Jones are both chasing down Rusty in an effort to take the Quaffle away from him, but they are unable to gain enough ground to do so.**

** Without any further opposition from the opposing team, Rusty Cuyler successfully makes his way up to the Werewolves' goal.**

Michaels: He SCORES! 10 points to the Atlanta Owls!

Early: Way to go, son!

Rusty: Woo-hoo, yeah!

Madden: This was a great job by Rusty Cuyler of taking advantage of the other team's weaknesses – Richmond's Keeper, Tim the Bear, is big, bulky and not that quick or agile. So when Rusty aimed his shot at one of the hoops that Tim was not defending, Tim was left totally unable to get to the Quaffle before it went through the hoop, and now Atlanta has a 10-0 lead.

**After Rusty Cuyler's goal that puts the Atlanta Owls in the lead 10-0, Tim the Bear throws the Quaffle back to his own team, and it is caught by Donna Tubbs.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Milan, Italy, where the Milan Witchhunters are hosting the Detroit Unicorns. The score is 10-0, Detroit. Irma Lair has the Quaffle for the Milan Witchhunters, but then Rarity intervenes;**_

_Rarity: Imperio!_

_**Rarity puts Irma Lair under the Imperius Curse, putting her under her complete control. She causes Irma to take the Quaffle toward her own team goal. Before their Keeper, Lord Cedric, can react, Irma shoots the Quaffle through one of her own team's hoops, scoring for the Detroit Unicorns, and extending their lead to 20-0.**_

_Cedric: You just scored for the other team! What the hell were you thinking?_

_Irma: I... I don't know. I don't remember..._

**BACK TO ATLANTA**

** Donna Tubbs passes the Quaffle to her daughter Roberta before Lil Cuyler can get to her. Roberta's boyfriend Federline Jones flies alongside, her, covering his girlfriend's back. The Sheriff hits a Bludger at the both of them, but they manage to evade it.**

** The other Bludger is heading in their direction right after that, but Roberta Tubbs's stepfather Cleveland Brown hits it to make it go in their other direction. All the while, Early and Rusty Cuyler are chasing after Roberta in an effort to get the Quaffle back for their team, but neither can keep up with her.**

** And with that, Roberta Tubbs finds her way in to the Atlanta scoring area and shoots;**

Michaels: 10 points to the Richmond Werewolves, and we have a tie game!

Roberta: Ohhh, yeah! I've got mad skills!

Donna: High-five, girl!

Both: Yeah!

Madden: To be honest, I don't know whether to describe that as a great shot or poor defense of the goal. Roberta Tubbs shot right at the hoop that the Reverend was defending, and it just slipped right past him and through the hoop. I guess it doesn't matter, because either way, the game is now tied up at 10.

**Roberta Tubbs's goal ties the game up at 10 points even. The Reverend then throws the Quaffle back in to play for it to be caught by Lil Cuyler.**

** Cleveland Jr. hits a Bludger in Lil's direction, but she evades it. Then, just as Lil makes it to Richmond's side of the pitch, Donna Tubbs pops up right in front of her and snatches the Quaffle out of her tentacles before she has any time to react.**

Lil: Hey get back here, you fuckin' nigger!

**Donna winces a little bit upon hearing Lil Cuyler's comment, but she continues on, determined to help her team score a win in this game. Her husband Cleveland Brown beats away an incoming Bludger; meanwhile, Lil Cuyler chases her down, but she can't get the Quaffle back, so instead she wraps two of her tentacles around the tail end of Donna Tubbs's broom in an attempt to hinder her forward progress...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle going off!

Madden: Yep. Lil Cuyler couldn't get the Quaffle back from Donna Tubbs, so she decided to make a grab at Donna's broom instead.

Hermione: This is gonna be a Blagging penalty against Atlanta!

**Before Lil Cuyler can do anything real rash to Donna Tubbs, the penalty whistle is blown, stopping all of the action on the pitch. The referee's call;**

Referee: Blagging. Atlanta, #12. Penalty shot for Richmond!

Lil: Oh, come on! The damn nigger deserved it!

Donna: Say that to my face, bitch! I dare you!

...

**Lil Cuyler gets slapped with a Blagging penalty; Donna Tubbs will make the penalty shot for the Richmond Werewolves; the Reverend will defend the hoops for the Atlanta Owls;**

Reverend: You know, the Lord said, "If you disobey your earthly master, you offend your heavenly Master."

Donna: What? Oh, you're gonna get it!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: AND she scores! The Werewolves take the lead!

Hermione: I really don't see how or why that was necessary.

Ron: Well it was still a bloody cool way of handing the other team's asses to them, heh heh!

**Donna Tubbs hits the Reverend in the head with the Quaffle; both he and the Quaffle go through the hoop. This counts as a goal, and so the Richmond Werewolves take the lead, 20-10.**

** After the Reverend regains his senses, he picks up the Quaffle and throws it back in to play; this time, it is caught by Rusty Cuyler.**

** But before Rusty can make it to the Werewolves' scoring area, Roberta Tubbs pops up right out from under him and wrenches the Quaffle right out of his tentacles.**

Rusty: Goddamn nigger!

Roberta: What the hell did he just say?

**Roberta can't help but feel somewhat sick at Rusty Cuyler's comment, and yet she continues on without letting her emotions get the better of her. But before she can make it to the Owls' scoring area, Early Cuyler intervenes;**

Madden: What the...

Roberta: AAAH! HELP ME!

Michaels: Early Cuyler is... ripping her clothes off... and she is tentacle-raping Roberta Tubbs!

Hermione: Someone kick him out of the game right freakin' NOW!

Harry: I don't know, I mean, I'm kind of enjoying this.

Ron: Bloody hell, dude!

**Early Cuyler grabs hold of Roberta Tubbs, and then uses his tentacles to savagely rip off her halter-top. He viciously fondles her breasts with his tentacles as Roberta desperately cries out for help. Then, just as Early is about to rip her pants off, Federline Jones takes notice;**

Federline: That's my girlfriend, you white-trash honky!

**Federline pulls Early off of Roberta and the two start to brawl for a while, exchanging punches, kicks and all the rest. Just as Federline seems like he has the upper hand...**

All: OH MY GOD!

Michaels: Early Cuyler has a shotgun – he just fired a warning shot into the air, Federline has no choice but to back off!

Hermione: No shit, Sherlock! He could've killed him with that thing!

Madden: Uh, we're still on the air, Hermione.

Hermione: I don't care. It's just that freakin' obvious!

Early: That'll teach you to mess with a squid, you stupid Jew!

**Early Cuyler pulls out his sawed-off shotgun and fires a warning shot into the air. He then points the gun at Federline, who flies away quickly to avoid being shot.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Tokyo, Japan, where the Tokyo Tengu are hosting the Paris Veela. The score is 60-10, Tokyo. Britney is chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Paris Veela; Ash Ketchum is not far behind. Just as Britney is about to catch the Snitch;**_

_Ash: Pikachu, use Electro Ball!_

_**Ash's Pokemon Pikachu generates an electric energy ball with its tail and hurls it at Britney. It scores a direct hit, knocking her off of her broom and out of the chase for the Snitch.**_

_Alex: BRTNEY!_

_**Ash goes on to catch the Snitch, and the Tokyo Tengu defeat the Paris Veela 210-10.**_

__**BACK TO ATLANTA**

** Meanwhile, both Tammi and Rallo Tubbs are chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams. Rallo, playing for Richmond, is right on top of it. Tammi, playing for Atlanta, is a ways behind. Early Cuyler sees that this chase is about to go right by him, and his face beholds a smirk as he sees a golden opportunity. He picks up his shotgun, cocks it, aims at the tail-end of Rallo's broom, times it just right, and pulls the trigger...**

All: OH!

Michaels: Early Cuyler just shot Rallo Tubbs's broom down with that shotgun!

Rallo: (screaming)

Early: WOOOO! Take that, nigger!

Hermione: Dammit, someone take him out of the game now before he kills someone!

Ron: Whatever. I think it was bloody brilliant!

Harry: Yeah, me too, heh heh heh.

**The blast from Early Cuyler's shotgun destroys the tail end of Rallo Tubbs's broom, sending both it and him crashing to the ground with a thud.**

** Sometime later...**

Tammi: Yes! I've got the Snitch!

Michaels: Tammi has the Golden Snitch and the Atlanta Owls win the game!

Rusty: Come here, you! (kisses Tammi)

Tammi: (giggle)

**Tammi catches the Golden Snitch, and the Atlanta Owls defeat the Richmond Werewolves, 160-20. The Atlanta home crowd goes into an uproar as the Owls celebrate the win. Meanwhile, the Richmond Werewolves leave the field hanging their heads.**

**Around the WLCQ;**

**Arizona Phoenixes – 170; St. Louis Serpents – 50**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 180; Los Angeles Undead – 50**

**Chicago Fire Crabs – 80; Las Vegas Night Elves – 170**

**Columbus Pixies – 200; Seattle Vampires – 0**

**Detroit Unicorns – 30; Milan Witchhunters – 240**

**Houston Horcruxes – 170; Indiana Slughorns – 60**

**Kyoto Kappa – 100; London Chimeras – 150**

**Miami Goblins – 20; Denver Dementors – 160**

**Milwaukee Death Eaters – 200; Osaka Oni – 50**

**Minnesota Wormtails – 180; Charlotte Hallows – 60**

**Montreal Manticores – 40; Vancouver Grindylows – 190**

**Nashville Basilisks – 150; San Antonio Centaurs – 90**

**New England Griffins – 20; Philadelphia Thestrals – 220**

**New Orleans Dark Mark – 230; Toulouse Sphinxes – 70**

**Oklahoma Orcs – 10; Tampa Bay Trolls – 150**

**Paris Veela – 10; Tokyo Tengu – 210**

**Portland Parselmouths – 90; Dallas Hippogriffs – 200**

**Rome Fairies – 100; Kansas City Inferi – 250**

**San Francisco Seers – 220; Mexico City Chupacabras – 80**

**Toronto Salamanders – 170; New York Dragons – 50**

**Washington Ministry – 40; Louisville Phantoms – 210**

**League Standings;**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins (15-6)**

** Washington Ministry (11-10)**

** Miami Goblins (9-12)**

** Richmond Werewolves (8-13)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals (14-7)**

** Columbus Pixies (12-9)**

** New York Dragons (9-12)**

** Indiana Slughorns (8-13)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs (14-7)**

** Louisville Phantoms (13-8)**

** Nashville Basilisks (8-13)**

** Houston Horcurxes (7-14)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors (13-8)**

** Seattle Vampires (11-10)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (9-12)**

** Los Angeles Undead (8-13)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs (13-8)**

** Oklahoma Orcs (11-10)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (8-13)**

** St. Louis Serpents (7-14)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs (13-8)**

** Kansas City Inferi (12-9)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (10-11)**

** Detroit Unicorns (6-15)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls (15-6)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark (12-9)**

** Atlanta Owls (10-11)**

** Charlotte Hallows (8-13)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths (16-5)**

** San Francisco Seers (12-9)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (10-11)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (8-13)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras (13-8)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes (11-10)**

** Rome Fairies (9-12)**

** Paris Veela (7-14)**

** Milan Witchhunters (7-14)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu (14-7)**

** Toronto Salamanders (12-9)**

** Kyoto Kappa (11-10)**

**Osaka Oni (10-11)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (7-14)**

** Montreal Manticores (7-14)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (6-15)**

Michaels: Well, we have only one week left in the regular season; that is when we will determine who will make the playoffs. Until then... so long, everybody!


	57. Week 22 Prologue

**Well, this is it! This is the last week of the Cartoon Quidditch regular season. It is here that we will determine who makes the playoffs!**

** With that said, here are the match-ups for the 22nd and final week of regular season play;**

**Atlanta Owls vs Milwaukee Death Eaters**

**Birmingham War Pigs vs Richmond Werewolves**

**Charlotte Hallows vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Minnesota Wormtails**

**Columbus Pixies vs Nashville Basilisks**

**Denver Dementors vs Miami Goblins**

**Detroit Unicorns vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Houston Horcruxes vs San Francisco Seers**

**Kyoto Kappa vs New England Griffins**

**Las Vegas Night Elves vs Kansas City Inferi**

**London Chimeras vs Toronto Salamanders**

**Los Angeles Undead vs Arizona Phoenixes**

**Louisville Phantoms vs San Antonio Centaurs**

**Mexico City Chupacabras vs Paris Veela**

**Milan Witchhunters vs Vancouver Grindylows**

**New York Dragons vs St. Louis Serpents**

**Osaka Oni vs Toulouse Sphinxes**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Washington Ministry**

**Portland Parselmouths vs New Orleans Dark Mark**

**Rome Fairies vs Montreal Manticores**

**Seattle Vampires vs Indiana Slughorns**

**Tampa Bay Trolls vs Oklahoma Orcs**

**Game of the Week; Detroit Unicorns vs Tokyo Tengu.**

**See you in Tokyo! **


	58. Week 22 Detroit vs Tokyo

** Week 22 Game of the Week; Detroit Unicorns vs Tokyo Tengu.**

** Team rosters;**

**Detroit Unicorns**

** Chaser: Pinkie Pie (#81)**

** Chaser: Rainbow Dash (#20)**

** Chaser: Fluttershy (#02)**

** Beater: Applejack (#18)**

** Beater: Rarity (#21)**

** Keeper: Twilight Sparkle [C] (#11)**

** Seeker: Spike (#01)**

** Coach: Princess Celestia**

**Tokyo Tengu**

** Chaser: Misty (#68)**

** Chaser: May (#39)**

** Chaser: Iris (#45)**

** Beater: Brock (#04)**

** Beater: Cilan (#49)**

** Keeper: Dawn (#42)**

** Seeker: Ash Ketchum [C] (#22)**

** Coach: Professor Oak**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Konichi-wa, Quidditch fans, and welcome to the Land of the Rising Sun! 21 weeks of intense, absurd and unpredictable Quidditch action have come down to this final week of gameplay that will determine who gets in the playoffs, and who goes home. We have one more international game for you guys this week; we're glad you could be us today, and thanks to you all for your support this season, as the Detroit Unicorns have come halfway across the world to face the Tokyo Tengu! I'm Al Michaels, and I'm joined, as always, by John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Actually, Al, neither of these teams can get out of the spot that they're currently in. The Detroit Unicorns are last place in the International North division, and there's no way they're going to make the playoffs this year. The Tokyo Tengu, on the other hand, have mathematically clinched not only a spot in the playoffs, but also the International Pacific division title. They have nothing to worry about.

Hermione: Not only that, but they have no need for any of those damn "Pocket Monsters" to do any of their freaky stuff!

Harry: Actually, they may, because the Detroit Unicorns have some pretty freaky magical powers of their own.

Ron: Yeah, I believe it was last week, when they were playing the Milan Witchhunters, one of Detroit's players used a bloody Imperius Curse to make one of the opposing Chasers score for them! If they pull something like that here, then the Tokyo Tengu are bloody screwed.

Michaels: Well actually, Milan went on to win that game, but I suppose anything can happen here as well...

...

Ash: Alright guys, we have nothing to worry about. We're locked in the playoffs, and the Detroit Unicorns have a piss-poor record – so let's beat these sissies and keep this momentum going!

Pikachu: Pika pika!

Misty: Ah, that's our Ash!

Brock: Hmmm...

...

**And so, for the last time in this regular season, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are released to fly where they please, out of any and all of the players' lines of vision. Then, for the final time in this regular season, the referee takes the Quaffle to the center of the pitch, and, when the time is right, tosses it high into the air.**

Michaels: And the last week of the regular season is underway!

**Rainbow Dash claims possession of the Seeker for the Detroit Unicorns, having taken off way before anyone else has. Neither Misty, May or Iris can catch her. The Bludgers aren't anywhere within range of her either, and so neither Brock nor Cilan have anything to work with.**

** And so, with all of them out of the way, Rainbow Dash effortlessly finds her way up to the Tokyo goal;**

Michaels: Rainbow Dash SCORES! 10 points to the Detroit Unicorns!

Rainbow Dash: WOO-HOO!

Pinkie: That was so cool, Dashie!

Rainbow Dash: What can I say? I'm just simply awesome!

Madden: Dare I say it... Rainbow Dash is so good of a Chaser that Detroit should have much better win-loss record right now. She moves up to the goal so fast that no one catch her, and when she makes it to the goal... BOOM! She shoots so fast that Dawn doesn't have so much as a nanosecond to react to it!

Harry: Just be glad she's not the Seeker, or else NO ONE would stand a chance against them!

**Rainbow Dash scores a goal to put the Detroit Unicorns in the lead, 10-0. Dawn is startled by the sheer speed of it all, but she manages to pick up the Quaffle, which she then throws back into play, where it is caught by Iris.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, where the New England Griffins are hosting the Kyoto Kappa. The score is 10-0, Kyoto. Joey Wheeler has the Quaffle for the Kyoto Kappa when he gets an incoming communication to his ear microphone;**_

_Pegasus: Look out, there's a Blud-_

_**Pegasus's call does not come in time; the Bludger hits Tristan in his side, knocking him off his broom and making him drop the Quaffle.**_

_Mai: (gasp) JOEY!_

_**Meanwhile, Brian Griffin picks up the Quaffle, and scores a goal shortly thereafter, tying the game up at 10.**_

__**BACK TO TOKYO**

** Iris currently has the Quaffle for the Tokyo Tengu. Both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie double-team her in an effort to take it back for the Detroit Unicorns, but Iris passes it to Misty before either of them can get their hooves on it.**

** Then Rainbow Dash makes a charge at her right from her 12-o'clock; this proves to be a bad move on Rainbow Dash's part;**

Iris: Axew, use Giga Impact!

...

All: OH!

Michaels: Iris's Pocket Monster has just slammed Rainbow Dash all the way to the other side of the pitch!

Ron: Well how else was she gonna keep her from taking the Quaffle from her.

Hermione: I, uh, I don't know.

**Iris's Pokemon Axew uses Giga Impact – it rams itself at high speed into Rainbow Dash. The impact is strong enough to knock her all the way to the other side of the pitch, taking her out of the gameplay until she can rejoin them.**

** Meanwhile, Iris has made it to the Detroit goal;**

Twilight: Protego!

...

Michaels: What the – the ball didn't even hit Twilight and it just bounced away before going through the hoop!

Iris: Hey, what the hell?

Madden: I thought I saw Twilight Sparkle's horn glowing when Iris took her shot.

Hermione: That's because she was using a damn Shield Charm!That Twilight Sparkle is such a lowbrow cheater!

Harry: Maybe she is, but it was still an ingenious way of defending the hoops.

**As Iris shoots the Quaffle, Twilight Sparkle casts a Shield Charm in front of the hoop; the Quaffle bounces off this magic shield before going through the hoop, and goes right back into play, where it is intercepted by Pinkie Pie.**

** May starts to chase down Pinkie, but Applejack hits a Bludger at her and she's forced to break off. Cilan then hits a Bludger at Pinkie, but she dodges and passes it to Fluttershy.**

** Neither Iris nor Misty is close enough to catch Fluttershy, and so she is able to find her way into the Tokyo Tengu scoring area;**

Dawn: Piplup, use Hydro Pump!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: Dawn's Pocket Monster just shot a jet of water as Fluttershy's face, she's dropped the Quaffle, and now the Tokyo Tengu have it back!

Hermione: That was just directly malicious!

Ron: Well she tried playing fair once before and look what happened then. (shrug)

**Dawn's Pokemon Piplup uses Hydro Pump on Fluttershy, hitting her in the face with a jet of water, thus preventing her from shooting at the goal. While she is able to stay on her broom, she ends up dropping the Quaffle, which is picked up by Misty.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: And it looks like Spike has gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Well, winning this game won't get them in to the postseason, but perhaps they could build a little bit of momentum for next season.

Harry: Of course, it's just like you said, John; the Tokyo Tengu, since they already have the division title, they have nothing to worry about!

Ron: Or do they..?

**As the Tokyo Tengu get the Quaffle back, Spike starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Detroit Unicorns. His compact size allows for high speeds, which allow him to catch up to the Snitch pretty quickly. But like every other Seeker, he has a very difficult time catching the Snitch, due to its extremely high-speed jinking maneuvers.**

** Meanwhile, Misty has almost made it in to the Detroit scoring area. That's when Pinkie Pie shows up from out of nowhere and wrenches the Quaffle out of Misty's arms before she can shoot it.**

Misty: Hey, get back here, bitch!

**Brock hits a Bludger at Pinkie Pie, but it misses and almost hits Iris. Pinke is then able to make it halfway to the Tokyo goal when;**

May: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!

...

Madden: What the-

Michaels: May's Pocket Monster is shooting some kind of sound wave at Pinkie Pie, and she is hurting!

Pinkie Pie: (groaning)

Hermione: Honestly, the Tengu need to lay off these pointless attacks and score a goal already! Besides, they're 10 points behind!

Harry: Well how can they score a goal with that Twilight Sparkle and her Shield Charms?

Ron: Maybe one of their Pocket Monsters can attack her?

Hermione: (facepalm)

**May's Pokemon Beautifly uses Bug Buzz – it shoots a sound wave from its antennae at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie is bombarded by this wave of sound and is put through a lot of pain, particularly in her head. Even though she stays on her broom, she drops the Quaffle, which Misty picks up.**

** Misty then tries to pass the Quaffle to May, but Rainbow Dash intercepts it. She heads to the Tokyo goal at lightning speed, but she almost gets hit by a Bludger, courtesy of Cilan. This disorients her, and allows May to come up with the Quaffle.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Toronto, Canada, where the Toronto Salamanders are hosting the London Chimeras. The score is 30-10, London. Gumball Watterson is chasing after the Golden Snitch for the London Chimeras. But before he can catch it, Duncan beats a Bludger in his direction – it hits him in the head, knocking him off of his broom and out of the hunt for the Golden Snitch.**_

_Nicole: (gasp) GUMBALL!_

_**Tyler catches the Snitch soon afterwards, and the Toronto Salamanders defeat the London Chimeras 160-30.**_

__**BACK TO TOKYO**

** While the two teams go back and forth with the Quaffle, Spike continues to be right on the Golden Snitch, still trying to catch it. The opposing Seeker, Ash Ketchum, is also chasing the Snitch, flying not far behind Spike. Noticing how close Spike is to ending the game, Ash decides to take drastic measures to prevent that from happening;**

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

**Ash's Pokemon Pikachu charges up a Thunderbolt to attack Spike with – but before he can launch the bolt...**

Rarity: Sectumsempra!

...

Ash: PIKACHU!

Michaels: Rarity just blasted Ash's Pocket Monster off of his broom!

Madden: What- he's flying down to check on his pet; he's broken off from chasing the Snitch!

Harry: What an idiot! This is gonna cost Tokyo the game!

**Rarity casts a spell to blast Pikachu off of Ash's broom. Acting on pure instinct, Ash breaks off from the chase for the Snitch to check on his best friend and see if he's okay. While he does so...**

Spike: I got it!

Michaels: He's got it! Spike's got the Snitch! Detroit Unicorns win!

Twilight: Great catch, Spike!

Spike: Thanks, Twilight!

Harry: I told you it would cost Tokyo the game!

**After Ash breaks off from the chase, Spike takes advantage by catching the Golden Snitch; the Detroit Unicorns defeat the Tokyo Tengu 160-0. The disgruntled Tokyo fans harshly boo the Unicorns as they celebrate the win. Meanwhile, all of the Tokyo Tengu have gathered around where Pikachu has fallen;**

Michaels: We've got a situation here, uh, there's blood on the ground, Ash's Pocket Monster is lying on the ground, bleeding profusely, and it's not moving!

Hermione: Oh, tell me Rarity did NOT use the spell that I think she used! Someone's gonna have to call the damn paramedics!

Ron: I actually agree with Hermione – this IS serious!

**It turns out that the spell Rarity hit Pikachu with, known simply as Sectumsempra, is a spell that slashes the victim from a distance and causes deep wounds. And that's exactly what's happened to Pikachu – he's lying on the ground, blood gushing heavily from his chest. The whole team has gathered around this, and when Ash sees what's up, he becomes almost hysterical.**

Ash: OH MY GOD! SOMEONE CALL THE FUCKIN' PARAMEDICS, HE'S GONNA DIE!

Brock: I'm a Pokemon Doctor; I'll take care of it!

Ash: Oh, please don't let him die! Please!

Brock: I'll do what I can.

**Brock picks up Pikachu and applies direct pressure to his chest in an effort to stop the bleeding. As he does so, he quickly takes him to the hospital wing to hopefully get him treated.**

** Meanwhile, Ash glances up at the Detroit Unicorns. Rarity then glances at Ash, and her eyes meet his. Ash is then suddenly overcome with rage;**

Ash: You... you BITCH! I'll KILL you! I'LL FUCKING KILL Y-

Rarity: Crucio!

**...**

Madden: Uh, what's Ash doing?

Michaels: Uh, he's on the ground, writhing in pain, I see Rarity's horn glowing-

Hermione: SHE'S USING THE CRUCIATUS CURSE! THAT'S FUCKING UNFORGIVABLE!

Ron: Bloody hell, Hermione! We're still on the air!

Hermione: Well we better get off the air before someone gets killed!

**Rarity casts the Cruciatus Curse on Ash; Ash falls on his back and writhes around in extreme pain and agony under this curse – he feels as if his insides are tearing themselves apart. Gradually, he starts to lose consciousness. Then...**

Iris: Axew, use Giga Impact!

...

Michaels: Rarity's just been blasted clean outta the park!

Hermione: You know what, I'm gonna say it; she SO deserved that!

Harry: Amen, sister!

**Iris's Pokemon Axew uses Giga Impact to blast Rarity out of the Quidditch stadium, but before they can relax...**

Twilight: Confringo!

...

Hermione: SHE JUST SHOT A BLASTING CURSE INTO THE STANDS!

Ron: I think she was aiming for Iris-

Hermione: But she could've killed innocent fans! That BITCH!

**Twilight Sparkle casts a Blasting Curse at Iris, but Iris dodges; the curse hits the stands on the other side of the stadium. Fortunately, all the fans get out of the way before it hits.**

** Suddenly, Rainbow Dash makes a hard charge at Iris, hoping to send her flying like Axew did to Rarity. But then this happens;**

May: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!

...

Michaels: There's that sound wave again, and Rainbow Dash is in pain!

Hermione: DAMMIT! This Quidditch match has become a goddamn street fight!

Madden: (facepalm) We're gonna be kicked off the air if Hermione doesn't shut the fuck up.

Harry: Speak for yourself, John!

**Before Rainbow Dash can hit Iris, May's Pokemon Beautifly uses Bug Buzz on Rainbow Dash, halting her forward progress. Rainbow Dash groans in pain as the sound waves permeate through her body. Then, this happens;**

Twilight: Avada Kedavr-

Celestia: Immobulus!

...

Michaels: What just happened! They all just froze stiff!

Hermione: Someone must've used an Immobilizing Charm. Phew! At least the fight's over!

Ron: Well I enjoyed it, but I think it's real good that no one got killed.

Harry: Very true, Ron. Very true.

**Princess Celestia, coach of the Detroit Unicorns, casts an Immobilzing Charm that freezes everyone stiff in their places, thus stopping the fight.**

Celestia: Accio Rarity!

**She then uses a Summoning Charm to bring back Rarity, who'd been blasted out of the stadium during the fight. When she arrives, Celestia unfreezes her team and then turns to Rarity with lividness;**

Celestia: What the hell were you thinking, Rarity! You could've killed that poor boy's pet!

Rarity: It was gonna attack Spike!

Celestia: But did you really have to use a spell that lethal?

Rarity: Uhh...

Celestia: Exactly! You didn't! But you did anyway, and I am pissed off!

**After chewing out Rarity, Princess Celestia turns to the rest of her team;**

Celestia: Look at this! Look at all the havoc you've wreaked! What do you have to say for yourselves?

Rainbow Dash: But... we won, didn't we?

Celestia: That does not excuse the seriousness of what you've all done! Now everyone get back in the locker room! NOW! BEFORE I PUT AN UNFORGIVABLE CURSE ON ALL OF YOUR ASSES!

**And so with that, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Spike return to the locker room, hanging their heads in shame, while Princess Celestia glares down upon them from behind.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**Atlanta Owls – 0; Milwaukee Death Eaters – 250**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 190; Richmond Werewolves – 30**

**Charlotte Hallows – 20; Dallas Hippogriffs – 180**

**Chicago Fire Crabs – 180; Minnesota Wormtails – 60**

**Columbus Pixies – 240; Nashville Basilisks – 50**

**Denver Dementors – 170; Miami Goblins – 10**

**Houston Horcruxes – 40; San Francisco Seers – 220**

**Kyoto Kappa – 90; New England Griffins – 160**

**Las Vegas Night Elves – 20; Kansas City Inferi – 230**

**London Chimeras – 30; Toronto Salamanders – 160**

**Los Angeles Undead – 70; Arizona Phoenixes – 190**

**Louisville Phantoms – 80; San Antonio Centaurs – 180**

**Mexico City Chupacabras – 210; Paris Veela – 60**

**Milan Witchhunters – 100; Vancouver Grindylows – 150**

**New York Dragons – 90; St. Louis Serpents – 160**

**Osaka Oni – 80; Toulouse Sphinxes – 170**

**Philadelphia Thestrals – 50; Washington Ministry – 210**

**Portland Parselmouths – 150; New Orleans Dark Mark – 100**

**Rome Fairies – 90; Montreal Manticores – 160**

**Seattle Vampires – 200; Indiana Slughorns – 20**

**Tampa Bay Trolls – 50; Oklahoma Orcs – 200**

**League Standings;**

**An asterisk (*) indicates teams that have made the playoffs.**

**American Conference**

** East Division**

** New England Griffins* (16-6)**

** Washington Ministry* (12-10)**

** Miami Goblins (9-13)**

** Richmond Werewolves (8-14)**

** North Division**

** Philadelphia Thestrals* (14-8)**

** Columbus Pixies* (13-9)**

** New York Dragons (9-13)**

** Indiana Slughorns (8-14)**

** South Division**

** Birmingham War Pigs* (15-7)**

** Louisville Phantoms* (13-9)**

** Nashville Basilisks (8-14)**

** Houston Horcurxes (7-15)**

** West Division**

** Denver Dementors* (14-8)**

** Seattle Vampires* (12-10)**

** San Antonio Centaurs (10-12)**

** Los Angeles Undead (8-14)**

**National Conference**

** East Division**

** Dallas Hippogriffs* (14-8)**

** Oklahoma Orcs* (12-10)**

** Minnesota Wormtails (8-14)**

** St. Louis Serpents (8-14)**

** North Division**

** Chicago Fire Crabs* (14-8)**

** Kansas City Inferi* (13-9)**

** Milwaukee Death Eaters (11-11)**

** Detroit Unicorns (7-15)**

** South Division**

** Tampa Bay Trolls* (15-7)**

** New Orleans Dark Mark* (12-10)**

** Atlanta Owls (10-12)**

** Charlotte Hallows (8-14)**

** West Division**

** Portland Parselmouths* (17-5)**

** San Francisco Seers* (13-9)**

** Las Vegas Night Elves (10-12)**

** Arizona Phoenixes (9-13)**

**International Conference**

** Euro Division**

** London Chimeras* (13-9)**

** Toulouse Sphinxes* (12-10)**

** Rome Fairies (9-13)**

** Paris Veela (7-15)**

** Milan Witchhunters (7-15)**

** Pacific Division**

** Tokyo Tengu* (14-8)**

** Toronto Salamanders* (13-9)**

** Kyoto Kappa (11-11)**

**Osaka Oni (10-12)**

** Mexico City Chupacabras (8-14)**

** Montreal Manticores (8-14)**

** Vancouver Grindylows (7-15)**

Michaels: Well talk about ending the regular season with a bang! The playoff roster has been decided, you now know who's in, and they'll start fighting for supremacy next week. We hope you join us for that! Until then... good night, everyone!


	59. Playoffs (Prologue)

**Well, the regular season is over! It's been a wild run, full of hard Bludger hits, magic spells, sabotage, you name it! Now it's time for the playoffs.**

** First of all, let me break it down; there are 20 teams making the playoffs – 8 from the American Conference, 8 from the National Conference, and 4 from the International Conference. There are 2 teams from each individual division; the division champions and the division wild cards.**

** And now, presenting the division champions;**

**American East champions; New England Griffins**

**American North champions; Philadelphia Thestrals**

**American South champions; Birmingham War Pigs**

**American West champions; Denver Dementors**

**National East champions; Dallas Hippogriffs**

**National North champions; Chicago Fire Crabs**

**National South champions; Tampa Bay Trolls**

**National West champions; Portland Parselmouths**

**International Euro champions; London Chimeras**

**International Pacific champions; Tokyo Tengu**

** Also making the playoffs are the Washington Ministry, Columbus Pixies, Louisville Phantoms, Seattle Vampires, Oklahoma Orcs, Kansas City Inferi, New Orleans Dark Mark, San Francisco Seers, Toulouse Sphinxes and Toronto Salamanders.**

** So here's how the playoffs are going to work;**

** The playoffs will consist of a single-elimination tournament. Round 1 will feature the eight teams from the American Conference and the eight teams from the National Conference teams playing each other in different games. Since the International Conference only has four teams in the playoffs, they will sit out of this round.**

** The four American Conference winners and the four National Conference winners will be in Round 2, playing each other there. The four International Conference playoff teams will play each other here as well.**

** Round 3 will be the conference championship round, in which the two surviving teams from the American, National and International Conferences will play each other for the conference championships.**

** After the conference championships, the conference champion with the best regular season record will get an automatic seed into the WLCQ championship game, the Potter Bowl. The other two conference champions will play each other in a championship semifinal game.**

** The winner of the championship semifinal will get the second slot into the Potter Bowl, and from there, we will decide the WLCQ champion! I've decided that the Potter Bowl shall be held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.**

** After the Potter Bowl, they'll be one more game; the All-Star Game! It will be held in Honolulu, Hawaii and it will feature two all-star teams representing the two conferences whose teams made the Potter Bowl. The end of the All-Star Game will mark the conclusion of the WLCQ season.**

** Now then, here will be the match-ups for Round 1;**

** American Conference;**

**Seattle Vampires vs New England Griffins**

**Columbus Pixies vs Denver Dementors**

**Louisville Phantoms vs Philadelphia Thestrals**

**Washington Ministry vs Birmingham War Pigs**

** National Conference;**

**New Orleans Dark Mark vs Portland Parselmouths**

**San Francisco Seers vs Chicago Fire Crabs**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Dallas Hippogriffs**

**Oklahoma Orcs vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

** Just like in the regular season, there will be one Featured Game for every playoff round, with a couple of Game Breaks in-between.**

** The Round 1 Featured Game will be New Orleans Dark Mark vs Portland Parselmouths.**

** See you in Portland!**


	60. The Mall

But first, before the playoffs, here's a little side story;

It is set on Friday afternoon, two days before Round 1 of the WLCQ playoffs, at a mall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In several different parts of this mall are the members of two different WLCQ teams; the home team Philadelphia Thestrals, and the Louisville Phantoms, whom the Thestrals will be playing in Round 1.

The two teams met once before in the very first WLCQ preseason game; Cree Lincoln hit Jazz Fenton in the head with a Bludger, allowing Wally Beetles to catch the Snitch (in a manner very reminiscent of how Harry Potter himself caught the Snitch in his very first game) and win the game for the Thestrals. But as of late, the Thestrals and the Phantoms have been on much friendlier terms, and have decided, for today, to spend one more day together before facing off in the WLCQ playoffs.

First, we'll take a look at Jack and Maddie Fenton of the Phantoms, the only two adults on either team, as well as the parents of Jazz Fenton and Danny Phantom. Both of them are ghosthunters; they have decided to take this opportunity to look for any stores that are selling new ghosthunting equipment…

"For the love of God!" Jack says in annoyance. "We've gone up and down this mall two times over, and no ghosthunting stores anywhere! Not one!"

"Hmmm," says Maddie. "Maybe there's no around here who believes in ghosts."

"Well that's dumb!" Jack retorts. "Ghosts totally are real! You and I know that! I don't see how these morons don't see what we see!"

Sensing his emotions, Maddie puts an arm around her husband and says, "Relax, honey. We have a great crapload of top-notch equipment already, don't we?"

"I guess so," Jack sighs. "But are we supposed to do?"

"Well, we could get something at the food court," Maddie suggests. "Just you and me."

"Ooh, I like where you're going with this," Jack says as he becomes excited. Then, husband and wife take each other's hands and head to the food court to get some lunch.

Now we cue over to take a look at Cree Lincoln, one of the Beaters for the Philadelphia Thestrals. Right now, she too is walking through the mall, hoping to meet up with some of the other teenage girls. She does spot Paulina and Valerie Gray heading into an Abercrombie & Fitch, but since she was never really tight with either of them, she shrugs them off and moves on. Eventually, she comes across a Victoria's Secret; when she looks in, she spots Sam Manson and Jazz Fenton browsing through bras. She eagerly walks in to meet them;

"Hi, Jazz, Sam," says Cree as she walks up to them.

"Cree! What's up, girl?" replies Jazz as she hugs Cree. Cree then hugs Sam, who asks, "So how you doin'?"

"Oh, I'm doin' fine," Cree answers. "I was hoping to meet with some like-minded people – I just didn't expect that to happen at a Victoria's Secret!"

The girls all share a laugh at this comment, then Cree asks, "So, either of you find anything good?"

"Now that you mention it," says Sam, "I did find this dark-blue bra that I think is so you!" She takes a very lacy dark-blue bra and hands it to Cree. "Oooh, I love it, already!" she says.

"Yeah, I like this one," replies Sam as she takes a purple push-up bra from the rack. "And I like this one," Jazz chips in as she takes hold of a skimpy red bra.

Cree then becomes excited. "We should try these on!" she says. "Let's hit the fitting rooms!"

With that, Cree, Sam and Jazz find their way to the fitting rooms in the far corner of the store. They find one room big enough for the three of them and shut themselves in. Then they take off their shirts and their current bras so they can try these new ones on. That's when Sam takes notice of Cree and Jazz's chests…

"Hey, no fair!" she jabs at them. "Your chests are bigger than mine!"

"Duh!" Jazz retorts. "That's because we're older than you!"

"Besides, I'm sure your boy Danny still loves 'em!" says Cree.

Sam can't help but blush at this remark. Then Cree goes first, putting on the dark-blue bra she took from the rack. "Aww, it's cute!" Sam and Jazz both say. Cree smiles back at them.

Jazz goes next, putting on the red bra she took from the rack. "Oh, that is sexy!" Sam cheers. "Your boyfriend will love it!" adds Cree.

"Uh, I don't have a boyfriend," Jazz says, embarrassed. "All the more reason to flaunt what you've got, girl!" Cree winks, putting a smile on Jazz's face.

Then Sam tries on the purple push-up bra she got from the rack. "Whoa, that really flatters your chest nicely!" Jazz comments. "See, now Danny's gonna shoot loads when he sees this!" replies Cree. Sam blushes.

Then, right after the girls take these bras off, Cree breaks out her iPhone and says, "Wait, hold on! We should take pictures!" "Topless?" Jazz asks, startled. "Flaunt what you've got, girls," Cree winks. "Flaunt what you've got!"

And so, using Cree's iPhone, the girls all take pictures of each other topless. Jazz strikes a pose in which she puts one hand on her hip and the other behind her head. Sam, for her photo, puts on a seductive smile as she puts her hands behind her head while sticking her elbows forward. Then Jazz takes Cree's iPhone and gets a shot of Cree standing with her arms raised midway while sticking her chest out to flatter her breasts. Then Cree takes the phone back and they all pose for a cute group pic.

They all then take a moment to look through these, commenting on how cute and sexy they all look. Then Cree does some stuff on her iPhone; "There, I just sent you both all of those!" she explains. "Have fun with 'em!"

"So, uh, are we gonna buy these bras, or what?" asks Jazz.

Cree and Sam both nod their approval. Then they put their old bras and shirts back on, leave the fitting room, buy the new bras and leave the store together.

Now we segue to the arcade. This is where the rest of the Philadelphia Thestrals, as well as Tucker Foley and Danny Phantom of the Louisville Phantoms are hanging out. Nigel Uno, Rachel McKenzie and Fanny Fullbright, neither of whom really being into arcade games, are all discussing team strategy with each other; the details of said conversation I'll leave to your imagination…

Danny is playing an old versus fighting game with Wally Beetles. For much of this round, Danny has the upper hand. Then, just when it seems like Wally's health bar is about to go empty, he unloads a flurry of attacks at Danny's character, and manages to score the KO.

"How the hell did you pull that off?" Danny asks in amazement.

"What can I say?" Wally shrugs. "I'm a natural-born fighter."

"You certainly seem like one to me," smiles Danny. As a gesture of sportsmanship, the two share a fist-bump.

Tucker and Hoagie Gilligan are racing each other at a Fast and the Furious racing game; Abigail Lincoln is at Hoagie's side, cheering him on. Tucker has been leading throughout the whole race, but then he totally blows the very last corner, allowing Hoagie to zoom by him and take the win.

"Hey, it was YOU who blew that turn," Hoagie says, "so I won fair and square!" All Tucker can do is shrug it off.

Abigail puts an arm around Hoagie, says "You did good, Hoagie," and gives him a kiss on the cheek, making him giggle.

And then there's Kuki Sanban. She's at the claw machine, having spotted a Rainbow Monkey inside. She aims the claw right above the monkey, and then lowers it. It successfully grabs hold of the monkey and pulls it up, then drops it into the tray for Kuki to take, which she does with glee.

Cree, Sam and Jazz then head into the arcade to meet up with their teammates. Abby turns and sees Cree smiling down at her. "Hey sis," she says as they share a hug. At the same time, Danny turns and sees Jazz and Sam both smiling at him. "Hi, Danny!" they both say. "Hey, you two," replies Danny. He gives Jazz a hug and then gives Sam a hug and a kiss.

Shortly thereafter, Jack and Maddie come into the arcade from the food court to meet up with everyone. Paulina and Valerie also arrive from Abercrombie & Fitch. "Hey everyone, how's it goin'?" they all ask.

Everyone smiles and nods their heads in approval. Then Danny turns to the Philadelphia Thestrals and says, "Well, I'll be the first admit that us two teams didn't get off on the right foot in the preseason. But I know that we'll be on much better terms going into the playoffs, and, well, it's been fun hanging out with you all here."

"Well, we are playing each other in Round 1," notes Nigel. "But I agree; it has been cool hanging out with you guys."

"By the way," Tucker breaks in, "congratulations on winning the American North division championship."

"Thanks, dude," acknowledges Hoagie.

"Still," says Sam, "I wish we could've won the American South division championship. But no, the Birmingham War Pigs had to take it from us!"

"God, I hate those Birmingham War Pigs!" Jazz cringes. "They think they're so cool because they play death metal! Who cares?"

"Dude, I like death metal," Wally chips in.

"But you're a much cooler and friendlier guy," Jazz replies. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have Kuki." To back this up, Kuki appears from behind and gives Wally a kiss on the cheek, making him blush."

"Well, just be glad you're in the playoffs," says Abigail.

Wally then smirks and adds, "Problem is, you'll have to get past us."

Danny returns Wally's smirk. "Well I guess we'll just see about that in two days, won't we?"

"You're on, bro!" replies Wally. As a gesture, he offers his hand to Danny.

But Danny, being in a particularly good mood today, doesn't take Wally's hand; rather, he spreads his arms and says, "Oh, what the hell, come here, you bastard!" Wally, almost without thinking, spreads his own arms, and the two friends share a big hug, along with some laughs. Their girlfriends, Sam and Kuki, can't help but think, "Awww!"

Then Nigel, feeling hungry, says to everyone, "Anyone in the mood for some lunch?"

"Uh, Jack and I already got lunch," says Maddie. "You guys go ahead; we'll just take our business elsewhere.

"Alright, see ya, Mom and Dad!" Danny and Jazz both say. They hug their parents good-bye, then Jack and Maddie take their leave from the mall as the rest of the Louisville Phantoms walk with the Philadelphia Thestrals to the food court to get some lunch.


	61. Playoff Round 1 New Orleans vs Portland

** Featured Game of Playoff Round 1; New Orleans Dark Mark vs Portland Parselmouths.**

** Team rosters;**

**New Orleans Dark Mark**

** Chaser: Robin [C] (#58)**

** Chaser: Speedy (#27)**

** Chaser: Terra (#98)**

** Beater: Cyborg (#70)**

** Beater: Raven (#60)**

** Keeper: Starfire (#85)**

** Seeker: Beastboy (#89)**

** Coach: Bumblebee**

**Portland Parselmouths**

** Chaser: Marge Simpson (#38)**

** Chaser: Bart Simpson (#54)**

** Chaser: Lisa Simpson (#45)**

** Beater: Nelson Muntz (#27)**

** Beater: Moe Szyslak (#32)**

** Keeper: Homer Simpson [C] (#83)**

** Seeker: Milhouse Van Houten (#43)**

** Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns**

** Now tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: FINALLY, it's playoff time! After 22 weeks of grueling and absurd Quidditch action, we finally know who is in the championship hunt. And now, we're ready to start Round 1 of said playoffs. For this round, we will focus on one of the National Conference games – we're coming at you live from Portland Oregon, and we're glad you could be with us for the WLCQ playoffs, as the New Orleans Dark Mark have come in to town to square off with the Portland Parselmouths! I'm Al Michaels, and as always, I'm joined by John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Of all the teams in the playoffs, Al, the Portland Parselmouths probably have it better than any other team. Their 17-5 regular season record is the best, not only in the National Conference, but in the whole league. And the conference champion with the best regular season record gets the automatic seed in to the Potter Bowl, so if and only IF they win the National Conference championship, they WILL be in the clear.

Harry: Sure, but you're forgetting something, John. The New Orleans Dark Mark are amongst the most super-powered teams in the whole league – because they're made up entirely of superheroes, for God's sake! Wonder what Portland's gonna do to overcome that…

Hermione: Well, it's not like they're gonna try any sabotage like what they did back in the regular season, because here in the playoffs, there is too much at stake.

Ron: I agree with that, but I still would've loved to see some sabotage. But at least we'll get to see some superpowers!

Michaels: That you will, Ron. That you will…

…

Burns: Now listen, Smithers; the reason we didn't sabotage these guys is because we're in the playoffs, we have a shot at the championship, and we don't wanna risk getting caught and kicked out.

Smithers: But how are we gonna beat a team of superheroes without those radio-control devices, sir?

Burns: Hey, a number of other teams did it – so can we. However, I still have the flying hounds at the ready – if we lose, damned if we do, UNLEASH HELL!

Smithers: Yes sir!

…

**The referee releases both of the Bludgers as well as the Golden Snitch, leaving them to fly out of sight from the players. All the players from both the Dark Mark and the Parselmouths are tingling heavily with anticipation, as they're both taking their first step in the championship hunt. Then, the referee takes the Quaffle in hand, and without further ado, tosses it straight up into the air.**

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the playoffs are officially underway!

**Bart Simpson comes up with the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths after a brief scramble. Neither Robin nor Terra are able to catch up with him. Speedy, however, is determined to not let the Parselmouths score. As Bart makes his way towards the New Orleans goal, Speedy takes out his bow, loads a poison-tipped arrow and lets it fly…**

Michaels: Oh, and Speedy's arrow just barely misses Bart-

Madden: But he's dropped the Quaffle, and now Robin has it and he's taking it the other way!

Hermione: Bart's lucky he didn't get hit – that thing could've been poisoned, for all we know!

**Speedy's poison arrow just barely misses Bart, but it does disorient him, making him drop the Quaffle. Robin picks it up and gains possession for the New Orleans Dark Mark.**

** Nelson Muntz and Moe Szyslak both hit Bludgers at Robin, but he hits them right back with his kendo stick, forcing Nelson and Moe to back off. Neither Marge nor Lisa Simpson can catch up with him, so Robin freely makes his way up to the Parselmouths' goal;**

Michaels: He shoots, and he SCORES! 10 points to the New Orleans Dark Mark!

Homer: D'oh!

Starfire: That was a most exceptional shot, Robin!

Robin: Aww, thanks, Star!

Madden: This was a great job that Robin did of taking advantage of his opponent's weaknesses. Homer Simpson is not that mobile of a Keeper, so Robin shoots it to one of the other hoops, Homer's not fast enough to catch it, and the Dark Mark now have 10 points on the board.

Ron: Just like I always say – Keepers need to be quick and agile. This Homer Simpson doesn't really qualify.

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Denver, Colorado, where the Denver Dementors are hosting the Columbus Pixies. Neither team has scored a goal yet. Vicky has the Quaffle for the Columbus Pixies – Cosmo and Wanda are flanking her for support. They approach the Dementors' goal, which is defended by Kenny McCormick…**_

_Cosmo/Wanda: Avada Kedavra!_

_**Cosmo and Wanda casts Killing Curses at Kenny, scoring direct hits. Kenny his blasted off of his broom; he falls and hits the ground with a thud, lying motionless with his eyes wide open – his bodily functions have ceased.**_

_Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!_

_Kyle: You bastards!_

_**Vicky goes on to score the goal, and the Columbus Pixies take a 10-0 lead.**_

__**BACK TO PORTLAND**

** After New Orleans takes a 10-0 lead, Homer Simpson throws the Quaffle back in to play for it to be caught by his wife Marge.**

** Terra makes a rush at Marge, but Marge passes the Quaffle to her son Bart before Terra can get her hands on it. Cyborg hits a Bludger at Bart but he dodges and passes the Quaffle to his sister, Lisa. Speedy then makes a rush at Lisa, but she passes the Quaffle back to Bart before Speedy has the chance to take it away. From there, Bart is able to make it in to the New Orleans scoring area;**

Michaels: Bart Simpson SCORES! And we are all tied up at 10!

Starfire: Oh man, I have failed this time.

Bart: Eat my shorts, Dark Mark! (moons Starfire)

Starfire: That is so repugnant!

Harry: You know, Starfire does shoot those green energy discs from her hands – she could've easily incapacitated Bart and kept him from scoring.

Hermione: Well, maybe she was just trying to play fairly!

Ron: Hmmm…

**Bart Simpson's goal ties the game up at 10. Starfire throws the Quaffle back in to play, and it is caught by Terra.**

** But before Terra can even make it halfway across the pitch, Nelson Muntz hits a Bludger in her direction…**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Nelson: HA HA!

Bumblebee: Whoa, timeout!

**Nelson Muntz's Bludger hits Terra in the head, knocking her off of her broom. Bumblebee, coach of the New Orleans Dark Mark calls timeout. The gameplay stops, and the rest of the Dark Mark all fly down to where Terra fell to see if she is okay. Terra staggers to her feet, picks up her broom and gives the thumbs up to indicate that she is indeed alright.**

Bumblebee: OK, guys, we can't let that happen again. We got superpowers, now let's use 'em!

**The team remounts, the timeout is called off, and the game gets back underway.**

** Lisa Simpson comes up with the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths. She manages to steer clear of Speedy, Robin and Terra on her way to the New Orleans scoring area. But when she gets there, as she starts to shoot, Starfire's eyes and hands start to glow green…**

All: OH!

Michaels: She singed Lisa's shooting hand with that energy disc!

Lisa: Ooh, ooh, ouch! It burns!

Starfire: (shrug)

Madden: I agree with Harry – Starfire should've done that before with Bart! Then the score would be 10-0 instead of 10-10!

Hermione: (shakes head)

**Starfire shoots a green energy disc from her hand. It hits Lisa in her Quaffle hand, making her drop the Quaffle. As Lisa tries to shake the burning feeling off, Speedy takes possession of the Quaffle for the New Orleans Dark Mark.**

** But before he makes it in to the Portland scoring area, Marge Simpson pops up from out of nowhere and takes the Quaffle back for the Parselmouths. That's when Raven intervenes;**

Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

…

Homer: MARGE!

Michaels: Marge Simpson has been blasted all the way across the stadium by Raven, she's dropped the Quaffle and the Dark Mark have it!

Hermione: That was just totally uncalled for, what Raven did just now!

Ron: Well now that you mention it, Speedy could've shot her down with one of his arrows, but apparently he didn't, so Raven had to step in.

Hermione: Ugh! (facepalm)

**Raven's spell releases a dark blast of magic that launches Marge Simpson all the way to the other side of the pitch, making her drop the Quaffle in the process. Terra then gains possession of it for the Dark Mark.**

** Neither Bart nor Lisa Simpson is capable of catching up to Terra. Nelson Muntz and Moe Szyslak don't have any Bludgers to hit at her, either. And so, with no opposition, Terra successfully makes her way in to the Parselmouths' scoring area;**

Michaels: And she SCORES! The New Orleans Dark Mark take the lead!

Homer: D'OH!

Beastboy: You go, girl!

Terra: YES!

**Terra's shot goes through the hoop, and the New Orleans Dark Mark pull ahead of the Portland Parselmouths, 20-10. Once again, Homer Simpson throws the Quaffle back in to play, where it is then caught by his daughter, Lisa.**

** Meanwhile, the Portland Parselmouths may be catching a break;**

Michaels: And it looks like Milhouse Van Houten has gone out after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: He'd better catch it real quick before Beastboy catches on, or else the Parselmouths can just kiss their championship hopes good-bye!

**After the New Orleans Dark Mark take the lead, Milhouse Van Houten starts to chase after the Golden Snitch, hoping to catch it for the Portland Parselmouths. His small stature enables him to put on a prominent load of speed – this allows him to catch up to the Snitch in a not so terribly long period of time. But on the contrary, the Snitch's own quickness and feistiness, combined with Milhouse's less than stellar eyesight, make it extremely difficult for him to actually catch the Snitch, as it quite literally slips through his fingers every time he reaches his hand out to make a grab at it.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the Louisville Phantoms. The score is 50-20, Louisville. Jazz Fenton and Wallabee Beetles are both chasing after the Golden Snitch, jockeying for position, and trying to catch the Snitch for their respective teams. Danny Phantom observes this Chase; seeing an opportunity to help his sister win this game for his team, he conjures up an ectoplasmic energy ball with his hand and hurls it forward, hoping to hit Wally Beetles. But Wally ducks and dodges the blast, which instead ends up hitting Jazz, knocking her off of her broom and out of the chase for the Snitch.**_

_Danny: (gasp) Oh, my God! JAZZ!_

_**As Danny flies down to help his sister, Wally Beetles goes on to catch the Golden Snitch. Thus, the Philadelphia Thestrals defeat the Louisville Phantoms 170-50, knocking them out of the title hunt.**_

__**BACK TO PORTLAND**

** As Milhouse continues to chase down the Snitch, Beastboy pops up alongside him. But Milhouse is too determined to notice. So Beastboy uses his animal transformation abilities;**

Milhouse: AAAA! DINOSAUR!

Michaels: Beastboy's just transformed in to a Velociraptor!

Ron: You better fly away, dork!

**Beastboy transforms in to a Velociraptor, hoping to scare Milhouse out of chasing the Snitch. But the resulting adrenaline kicks into Milhouse, and he ends up chasing the Snitch faster than he was before. Beastboy also kicks it in to higher gear, trying to chase Milhouse down, but ultimately, his efforts prove to be counterproductive;**

Milhouse: Oh my God, I got it!

Michaels: And it's over! Milhouse Van Houten catches the Golden Snitch, the Portland Parselmouths win, and the New Orleans Dark Mark are out of the playoffs!

Hermione: Looks like good ol' fair play has triumphed over outlandish superpowers! Heh!

Ron: (sigh)

**Thanks to the adrenaline rush brought about by his fright, Milhouse Van Houten manages to catch the Golden Snitch, and the Portland Parselmouths defeat the New Orleans Dark Mark 160-20, keeping their championship hopes alive while crushing those of the Dark Mark. The Portland home crowd erupts into a ruckus as their team celebrates their big win, while the Dark Mark all hang their heads in defeat and in shame over being knocked out of the title hunt.**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**American Conference;**

**Seattle Vampires – 30; New England Griffins – 190**

**Columbus Pixies – 400; Denver Dementors – 0**

**Louisville Phantoms – 50; Philadelphia Thestrals – 170**

**Washington Ministry – 60; Birmingham War Pigs – 200**

** National Conference;**

**San Francisco Seers – 90; Chicago Fire Crabs – 150**

**Kansas City Inferi – 210; Dallas Hippogriffs – 10**

**Oklahoma Orcs – 40; Tampa Bay Trolls – 180**

** Round 2 match-ups;**

** American Conference;**

**Columbus Pixies vs New England Griffins**

**Philadelphia Thestrals vs Birmingham War Pigs**

**National Conference;**

**Chicago Fire Crabs vs Portland Parselmouths**

**Kansas City Inferi vs Tampa Bay Trolls**

** International Conference;**

**Toulouse Sphinxes vs Tokyo Tengu**

**Toronto Salamanders vs London Chimeras**

** Round 2 Featured Game; Philadelphia Thestrals vs Birmingham War Pigs**

** See you in Birmingham!**


	62. Iceberg Lounge

But before we get to Round 2, I have another side story to tell!

This one takes place in New Orleans, Louisiana on the Sunday evening after all of the Round 1 playoff games have been played. It is here that we cue to Robin, Speedy, Terra, Cyborg, Raven, Starfire, Beastboy and Bumblebee, all of whom make up the Cartoon Quidditch team known as the New Orleans Dark Mark.

The team has just arrived back from Portland, Oregon. It's been a long day for them all; they were unexpectedly defeated by the Portland Parselmouths in Round 1 of the playoffs, effectively knocking them out of the title hunt and thus ending their season. Right now, they're meandering through the city, looking for someplace to alleviate their major disappointment. All the while, they have encounters with numerous Quidditch fans – some are more consoling, wishing them a better next season, while others hurl angry insults at them that will not be repeated here.

"Jerks!" mutters Beastboy.

"Do not let them bring you down any further," reassures Starfire. "We did give it our best, did we not?"

"Yeah, but we still lost! Damn!" Cyborg cringes.

"Maybe if a certain someone didn't egg their dorky Seeker on," Speedy snaps at Beastboy.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know he wasn't gonna forget about the Snitch!" Beastboy shoots back. Terra then puts a hand on Beastboy's shoulder and says, "Don't bother arguing, it is what it is."

"C'mon guys, really?" intones Bumblebee. "Our season just ended – fighting is not gonna do a damn thing about that!"

This shuts the team up.

...

After some time passes, Raven notices a restaurant called the Iceberg Lounge. "Hey, anyone else hungry?" she asks.

"Uh, I'm not so sure," Robin nervously answers. "You know these restaurants are owned by that villain The Penguin, right?"

"Oh, come on!" jabs Cyborg. "He's the owner, not the manager. Like he'll know!"

"And besides," adds Starfire, "I think we all need a nice meal after the long day we've had."

"Eh, why not?" Robin shrugs. From there, the team walks into the Iceberg Lounge. Once they enter, they encounter the manager sitting a ways in front of them. "Hey, it's the Dark Mark!" he says with a smile. "But seriously, sorry about the loss."

The team can't help but be confused for a second at the manager's demeanor, but they all shrug it off as the manager says to them, "C'mon, lemme get you a seat!" He leads them to a large table with eight chairs around it, one for each member of the team. Shortly after that, a waitress appears and offers to take their drink orders. They all take Coke and Sprite. Then, they all start to read through their menus;

"Penguin nuggets?" asks a confused Beastboy.

"Yeah, all of their food comes from penguins and other Arctic creatures," explains Robin. "It's really weird."

"I know, right?" adds Cyborg. "I mean, look at this. They got walrus burgers, seal sandwiches, albatross wings, and... wow! I don't know what I should try!"

"Well, I do like buffalo wings," shrugs Beastboy. "I think I'll try the albatross wings." Terra then moves close to him and says, "You, uh, wanna get a jumbo basket to share with me, just the two of us?" She follows up with a kiss on Beastboy's cheek as he says, "I'd love to!"

...

In due time, the waitress arrives with their sodas, and then requests their orders. Beastboy and Terra order a jumbo-sized basket of albatross wings to share; Robin and Starfire decide to have what they're having. Cyborg orders a large walrus burger, Speedy orders a large seal sandwich, Raven orders a large bowl of polar bear pepperoni and Bumblebee orders two blue whale hot dogs. Everyone also takes French fries with their orders.

"I still don't understand why the manager was so friendly to us, of all people," says Speedy.

"Well, like I said before," explains Robin, "the Penguin doesn't know who's in his restaurants at every given time. And of course the manager is friendly to everyone, otherwise people wouldn't eat here, right?"

"Still," Raven chips in, "that Penguin really is one deranged lunatic... I wouldn't want to meet 'im."

"Hey, we've beaten people worse than him!" replies Cyborg. "Slade, Plasmus, Trigon, you name it!"

"Not to mention the Brotherhood Of Evil!" adds Beastboy.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" Starfire interjects. "Besides, "I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, our meals should be arriving pretty soon," notes Bumblebee.

"Oh boy!" Terra and Beastboy both say.

Sure enough, right after they say that, the waitress arrives with a tray that has all their orders on it; Beast Boy, Terra, Robin and Starfire's albatross wings, Cyborg's walrus burger, Speedy's seal sandwich, Raven's polar bear pepperoni, Bumblebee's blue whale hot dogs, and all of their French fries. Once their food is served, everyone digs in full throttle.

"Hey, Robin! Beastboy! Someone pass me an albatross wing!" says Cyborg. They both hand him one, and he eats them both. "Hey, these are pretty good, he says before digging back into his walrus burger.

Meanwhile, Raven, Bumblebee and Speedy all nonchalantly chew on their pepperoni, hot dogs, and sandwich. Robin and Starfire affectionately feed each other their albatross wings while exchanging kisses; Terra and Beastboy do the same with each other.

While everyone eats, Cyborg asks, "So who does everyone like in the playoffs?"

"Whatever happens," responds Beastboy, "I just hope those Portland Parselmouths don't win the Potter Bowl! That'll teach 'em to mess with us!"

"Well I see the New England Griffins beating the Birmingham War Pigs for the American Conference," Speedy chips in.

"No way," Robin breaks in. "Not if the Philadelphia Thestrals defeat Birmingham first!"

"Oh please," replies Speedy. "The War Pigs are made up of a real honest-to-god death metal band while the Thestrals are made up of a bunch of lousy kids! Do the math!"

Bumblebee breaks up this debate by saying, "OK, so who do you guys think will take the International Conference?"

"Tokyo!" exclaims Starfire. "Definitely the Tokyo Tengu!"

"They'd better," replies Terra, "or else there'll be Trouble in Tokyo!" Everyone shares a laugh at this wisecrack.

...

Eventually, everyone finishes up their meals, the bus boys clear off the dishes and the waitress gives them the check, which Bumblebee tends to. Robin then stands up before the team and says, "Well I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I'm in a much better mood than I was when my stomach was empty earlier. And sure, we may have been beaten out of the playoffs, but we still had a good winning season, did we not?"

Everyone nods their heads in approval. Then Robin says, "So I guess we'll just enjoy watching the rest of the playoffs, seeing who comes out on tops, etc. But I assure you – next season we'll be the Dark Mark's year! We'll win the National South division title, the National Conference championship AND the Potter Bowl! Count on it!"

The team cheers, loud and proud. Starfire puts an arm around Robin and says, "That there is why I love you – you always have a way of seeing a light in the dark!" She follows through with a kiss on Robin's cheek.

The waitress then takes the money that Bumblebee laid out to pay for the meal. And so, satisfied with their full stomachs, the New Orleans Dark Mark leave the Iceberg Lounge to turn in for the night.


	63. PlayoffRound2 Philadelphia vs Birmingham

** Featured Game of Playoff Round 2; Philadelphia Thestrals vs Birmingham War Pigs.**

** Team rosters;**

**Philadelphia Thestrals**

** Chaser: Kuki Sanban (#3)**

** Chaser: Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

** Chaser: Fanny Fullbright (#86)**

** Beater: Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

** Beater: Cree Lincoln (#11)**

** Keeper: Nigel Uno [C] (#1)**

** Seeker: Wallabee Beetles (#4)**

** Coach: Rachel McKenzie**

**Birmingham War Pigs**

** Chaser: Skwisgaar Skwigelf (#69)**

** Chaser: Toki Wartooth (#96)**

** Chaser: Dr. Rockzo (#42)**

** Beater: Nathan Explosion [C] (#66)**

** Beater: William Murderface (#47)**

** Keeper: Dick Knubbler (#78)**

** Seeker: Pickles (#5)**

** Coach: Charles Foster Offdensen**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Welcome to Round 2 of the Cartoon Quidditch playoffs! Round 1 was a doozie, as we witnessed the Portland Parselmouths score a surprising victory over the team of superheroes known as the New Orleans Dark Mark to score a slot in this round. But we're not going to be covering them this time around. Instead, we're coming at you live from Birmingham, Alabama, and we're looking for a great one as the Philadelphia Thestrals have come to down to face the Birmingham War Pigs! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Both of these teams are coming off some pretty tough opponents, Al. The Birmingham War Pigs just beat the Washington Ministry, and the Philadelphia Thestrals just defeated the Louisville Phantoms. To be honest though, it's pretty tough to make a pick for this one.

Hermione: I'm going with the Thestrals, you know why? Because those Birmingham War Pigs just make me sick to my stomach! I hate death metal, and I hate what this team is all about! Seriously!

Ron: Well, I like Black Sabbath – if I'm not mistaken, this team is named after one of their songs. But that's beside the point. I pick the War Pigs.

Harry: Yeah, those War Pigs really are a brutal bunch. I bet the Thestrals are really shaking in their boots right now!

Michaels: Well, they better get over that if they hope to move on to the American Conference championship game...

...

Kuki: Guys, I'm scared! These guys make shudder and... and I don't know how we're gonna beat them!

Wally: Don't sweat it, Kooks! I've dealt with plenty of bozos like these before! And yes, I may like their music, but that doesn't mean that we're all not gonna give these blokes what for!

Nigel: Great! Let's do this!

...

**Both of the Bludgers are released to fly out of the sightlines of the players. The Golden Snitch follows them a second later and also flies out of their sight. Once that is done, the referee walks to the center of the pitch, holding the Quaffle in both hands. Then, the Quaffle is tossed straight up high in to the air.**

Michaels: There goes the Quaffle, and Round 2 is officially underway in Birmingham!

Nigel: Philadelphia Thestrals, BATTLE STATIONS!

**As the Quaffle hits mid-air, Fanny Fullbright is the first to get her hands on it for the Philadelphia Thestrals. Dr. Rockzo is the first Chaser from the other team to try and make a grab at it, but he comes up empty.**

** A Bludger is coming for Fanny, but Cree Lincoln takes care of it, hitting it toward Skwisgaar Skwigelf and Toki Wartooth and forcing the both of them to back off.**

** With all of the opposing Chasers out of the way, Fanny Fullbright finds her way in to the War Pigs' scoring area;**

Michaels: And she SCORES! 10 points to the Philadelphia Thestrals!

Nigel: Great shot, Fanny!

Fanny: Damn right it was!

Dick: Oh damn, I missed!

Madden: I think Dick Knubbler had a brief lapse of judgment on this one. See, Fanny shoots at the hoop beside the one he's defending, he's perfectly able to get to it in time, but the Quaffle just slips right through his arms and through the hoop! Again, a brief lapse of judgment, but now the War Pigs are 10 points behind because of it.

**The Philadelphia Thestrals take a 10-0 lead with Fanny Fullbright's goal. Dick Knubbler then throws the Quaffle back in to play, where it is then caught by Toki Wartooth.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, where the New England Griffins are hosting the Columbus Pixies. The score is 10-0, New England. Vicky has the Quaffle for the Columbus Pixies. But before she can do anything with it, Stewie Griffin, Seeker for the New England Griffins, sneaks up to her and shoots her in the back with his laser blaster, knocking her off her broom and forcing her to drop the Quaffle.**_

_Vicky: (screaming)_

_Stewie: Victory shall be mine!_

_**The Quaffle is then picked up by Lois Griffin. She goes on to score a goal for the New England Griffins, and her team extends their lead to 20-0.**_

** BACK TO PHILADELPHIA**

** Toki Wartooth passes the Quaffle to Skwisgaar Skwigelf before the Bludger hit by Hoagie Gilligan can get to him. Abigail Lincoln then flies up alongside Skwisgaar to try and take the Quaffle back for the Thestrals; Skwisgaar elbowd her in the get to try and force her to back off...**

Michaels: Oh wait! We have a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Hermione: Cobbing on Birmingham! You all saw Skwisgaar Skwigelf elbow Abigail Lincoln in the gut just then!

Madden: Yeah, normally it's the player trying to steal the Quaffle that does that sort of crap. Weird.

**Right as Skwisgaar elbows Abigail in the gut, the penalty whistle is blown, ceasing all of the action on the pitch. The referee's call is as follows;**

Referee: Cobbing. Birmingham, #69. Penalty shot for Philadelphia!

Skwisgaar: Oh, that ams dildos!

Abigail: (shrug)

**Skwisgaar Skwigelf is slapped with a Cobbing penalty, thus allowing the Philadelphia Thestrals to take a penalty shot. As it was Abigail who got "Cobbed," she is the one who volunteers to take the penalty shot, while Dick Knubbler will try to block the shot for the War Pigs...**

Michaels: She SCORES! Philadelphia goes up 20-0!

Abigail: WOOO, yeah, baby!

Nathan: Oh, c'mon, Dick! They're just a bunch of kids!

Dick: (sigh)

**Abigail Lincoln's goal extends the Philadelphia Thestrals lead to 20-0. Once again, Dick Knubbler throws the Quaffle back in to play; this time it is caught by Dr. Rockzo.**

** Kuki Sanban makes an attempt to steal the Quaffle for the Thestrals, but Rockzo just flies right on by her. Fanny Fullbright also makes a rush at him, but she comes up empty as well. Then, there is a Bludger headed right for him, but William Murderface hits it towards the opposing team. With all of that taken care of, Dr. Rockzo makes it up to the Thestrals' goal;**

Michaels: Dr. Rockzo SCORES! The Birmingham War Pigs are finally on the board!

Rockzo: I DO COCAINE!

Nigel: Ugh! I can't believe I didn't get it!

Abigail: It's okay, Nigel. We're still in the lead.

**Dr. Rockzo scores a goal on his shot, decreasing the Philadelphia Thestrals lead to 20-10. Nigel Uno then throws the Quaffle back in to play and Kuki Sanban catches it.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: Uh oh, look out! Wally Beetles has gone after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: You know, considering the fact that the War Pigs have a Seeker who likes to play while, shall we say, less than sober, this shouldn't be much of a problem for Wally.

Harry: If that's the case, then the War Pigs can kiss their championship hopes good-bye!

Ron: Uh, I wouldn't assume anything, Harry...

**As Kuki Sanban takes the Quaffle, her boyfriend Wally Beetles starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Philadelphia Thestrals. He catches up to the Snitch relatively quickly, as his small stature does allow for pretty high speed. However though, the Snitch is also very quick and feisty; every time that Wally reaches out to try and grab a hold of it, the Snitch quite literally slips through his fingers, preventing him from sealing the deal for his team.**

** As Wally Beetles continues to chase after the Golden Snitch;**

Michaels: Kuki Sanban SCORES! Thestrals go up 30-10!

Kuki: YAY, I scored a goal!

Abigail: Great goin', girl!

Nathan: Dammit, Dick! That is so not metal!

**Kuki Sanban's goal extends the Philadelphia Thestrals' lead to 30-10. Yet again, Dick Knubbler throws the Quaffle back in to play, and it is Skwisgaar Skwigelf who catches it this time around.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: Looks like Pickles has started after the Snitch now!

Madden: Yeah, but look at him! He's flying in every which direction very erratically.

Hermione: Yep, he is drunk! Definitely drunk!

Harry: Why would anyone drink like that? Especially before a Quidditch game!

Ron: (shrug) Beats the hell out of me.

**Pickles starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Birmingham War Pigs. But, as per typical of him, he has a LOT to drink before the start of the game, and it shows in his flying. While he is indeed making an effort to catch the Golden Snitch, he is flying very erratically, swerving around in multiple directions, just like a drunk driver behind the wheel of a car. Needless to say, this type of flying does not help at all with getting him closer to the Snitch to catch it...**

** Meanwhile, Skwisgaar Skwigelf is just about to score a goal when Kuki Sanban pops up and snatches the Quaffle right out from his arms.**

Kuki: Hee Hee Hee, I got the Quaffle now!

Skwisgaar: Hey, get backs heres, bitch!

**As Kuki starts to take the Quaffle in the other direction, Dr. Rockzo, in an effort to distract Abigail Lincoln from the action, starts to heckle and harass her;**

Dr. Rockzo: Hey, black girl! How'd you like to get down with the clown!

...

Michaels: Dr. Rockzo has just exposed himself to Abigail Lincoln!

Ron: He is a bloody pedophile, I swear to God!

Hermione: Somebody hit him in the crotch!

**When Abigail sees Dr. Rockzo's exposed genitalia, she becomes disgusted, furious and all the rest;**

Abigail: Hoagie, give me your Bludger Bat!

...

Madden: CROTCH SHOT!

Michaels: She just hit that Bludger right in Dr. Rockzo's balls with Hoagie Gilligan's Bludger Bat!

Ron: Speak of the devil, eh Hermione?

Hermione: Yeah I guess so, heh heh!

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes place in Tokyo, Japan, where the Tokyo Tengu are hosting the Toulouse Sphinxes. The score is 60-20, Tokyo. Both William Dunbar and Ash Ketchum are chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams; however, Ash is a ways behind and William is right on top of the Snitch, looking like he's ready to catch it...**_

_Ash: Pikachu, use Electro Ball!_

_**...but suddenly, Ash's Pokemon Pikachu hurls an Electro Ball at William. Even though it doesn't hit him directly (Pikachu hasn't been 100% since being hit by that Severing Charm in Week 22), it does hit his broom, disabling it and effectively shooting him down.**_

_Ulrich: DAMMIT!_

_**Ash Ketchum goes on to catch the Golden Snitch, and the Tokyo Tengu defeat the Toulouse Sphinxes 210-20, kicking the Sphinxes out of the playoffs.**_

**BACK TO PHILADELPHIA**

Madden: Uh, what is that?

Michaels: Those are strange figures on broomsticks headed in our direction-

Hermione: Crap! I better have a look at this...

**The commentators spot strange figures on broomsticks flying towards them. Hermione Granger takes out her Omnioculars to get a better look – when she recognizes them, she becomes terrified;**

Hermione: Oh God, it's the Death Eaters!

Madden: But I though you killed Voldemort and his-

Hermione: The Milwaukee Death Eaters, stupid!

Ron: Bloody hell! They're not even in the playoffs!

Harry: They're probably here to get back at the Thestrals for what they did before...

**It turns out that the strange figures are in fact the Milwaukee Death Eaters – Grim, Billy, Mandy, Mindy, Irwin, Sperg and Pud'n. They are here to get back at the Thestrals for costing them a win over the San Francisco Seers back in Week 13.**

Grim: Everyone stand back! I will deal with them myself!

**Grim orders the team to let him take care of all the business. He then spots the referee and raises his scythe;**

Grim: Stupefy!

...

Ron: Bloody hell! He just Stunned the referee!

Hermione: (facepalm) Now what..?

**After Stunning the referee, Grim then examines the field to determine what to do next. He notices that all the female members of the Philadelphia Thestrals are all concentrated on one side of the pitch. Seizing the opportunity, he raises his scythe...**

Grim: Evanesco!

...

Thestrals Girls: (screaming hysterically)

Michaels: Holy crap, their clothes all just disappeared!

Grim: Immobulus!

...

Madden: Now he's just frozen them in mid-air; they can't do a damn thing about it!

Harry: Man, I never thought there'd be a better way to use a Vanishing Charm, heh heh heh!

Hermione: (slaps Harry) Dammit, that's not funny!

**Grim uses a Vanishing Charm on all the female members of the Thestrals, making all of their clothes disappear and leaving them totally naked. Then he uses a Freezing Charm on them, paralyzing them in mid-air, leaving their nude bodies exposed for all to see. Fans in the crowd start to snap photos relentlessly. It doesn't take long for Nigel Uno, Hoagie Gilligan and Wally Beetles to notice;**

Nigel: Rachel!

Hoagie: Abby!

Wally: Kuki!

All: WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

**In shock, the boys look around to determine what could've caused this. Then they stop, frozen with shock. There they see Grim, hovering on his broom above them, looking down on them with malicious eyes. It doesn't take long for the rage to build up inside Nigel, Hoagie and Wally;**

Nigel: LET'S GET' 'IM!

**Nigel, Hoagie, and Wally charge at Grim, looking to attack. But then, Grim raises his scythe;**

Grim: Evanesco!

...

Thestrals Boys: (screaming)

Michaels: Oh God, now the boys are naked!

Ron: Bloody hell! THIS is too much right here!

**Grim uses a Vanishing Charm on Nigel, Hoagie and Wally's clothes, making them all vanish, and leaving them totally naked. This causes them to lose all of their momentum, but as if that weren't enough...**

Grim: SECTUMSEMPRA!

...

Madden: And now he's blasted them off his brooms!

Michaels: Okay, uh, now they've all hit the ground... and they're bleeding! They're all bleeding heavily..!

Harry: Seriously? He used THAT spell?

Hermione: SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH! ENOUGH'S ENOUGH!

**After stripping them of their clothes, Grim uses a Severing Charm on Nigel, Hoagie and Wally. They're all blasted off of their brooms, and they hit the ground with a thud. Blood then spurts out from various parts of their naked bodies, and they groan in agony...**

** Meanwhile, Pickles, despite his inebriation, manages to catch the Golden Snitch. Grim, noticing this, flies down to where the Stunned referee is lying, takes his whistle and blows it...**

Michaels: And it's over! Pickles has caught the Golden Snitch, and the Birmingham War Pigs win the game!

Hermione: THIS WAS NOT A GAME! THIS WAS A DAMN MASSACRE! THE BIRMINGHAM WAR PIGS SHOULD BE KICKED OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS!

Ron: Uh, but we don't know if they were actually in league with the Milwaukee Death Eaters, which I doubt-

Hermione: I don't give a crap! The War Pigs should not be allowed to play for the Conference Championship!

**Pickles's catching of the Snitch cements a 160-30 win over the Philadelphia Thestrals. He and the rest of the War Pigs quickly fly back into the locker room, lest Grim go after them.**

** As the Birmingham home crowd cheers for their team's victory, wizard paramedics are dispatched to the scene. They uses magic on Nigel, Hoagie and Wally to counter the effects of the Severing Charm, putting the blood back in their body and stitching up the wounds. Then they strap them to gurneys and rush them to the hospital wing. At the same time, the female members of the team are released from the Freezing Charm and given towels to cover their bodies with; they too rush to the hospital wing, extremely worried for their teammates.**

** As for the Milwaukee Death Eaters, they all triumphantly fly off into the afternoon sky, Grim's evil laughter echoing behind them...**

** Around the WLCQ;**

**American Conference;**

**Columbus Pixies – 80; New England Griffins – 180**

**National Conference;**

**Chicago Fire Crabs – 30; Portland Parselmouths – 190**

**Kansas City Inferi – 100; Tampa Bay Trolls – 150**

** International Conference;**

**Toulouse Sphinxes – 20; Tokyo Tengu – 210**

**Toronto Salamanders – 170; London Chimeras – 0**

** Conference championship match-ups;**

**American Conference championship game; Birmingham War Pigs vs New England Griffins**

**National Conference championship game; Tampa Bay Trolls vs Portland Parselmouths**

**International Conference championship game; Toronto Salamanders vs Tokyo Tengu**

** Featured Conference championship game; Toronto Salamanders vs Tokyo Tengu**

** See you in Tokyo!**


	64. Love After Loss

Now, before we get to the Conference Championships, I have another side story;

This one takes place in Tokyo, Japan, on the evening after Round 2 of the playoffs. The Tokyo Tengu have just defeated the Toulouse Sphinxes, and as a result, have earned the right to face the Toronto Salamanders for the International Conference championship…

…however, they'll have no part in this side story, which instead focuses on the Toulouse Sphinxes, the team they just beat.

"Honestly, if it weren't for those damn Pokemon," says their Chaser Odd Della Robbia, "we would've totally kicked their asses back there, you know?"

"And I would know!" adds the Seeker, William Dunbar. "That pesky Pkiachu deliberately shot me down! Man, if only those Detroit Unicorns dealt him more damage than they did…"

"Well," replies their Chaser Aelita Stones, "I don't know what the league is thinking by letting the Tokyo Tengu carry those creatures on their brooms. I mean, having your own powers and weapons is one thing, but this… this is something else!"

"Somebody better beat them before they win the Potter Bowl!" snaps their Chaser Jeremy Belpois, "because someone needs to teach them that they can't win 'em all with those damn Pokemon onboard!"

"Well, by the looks of it," says their Keeper Franz Hopper, "if the Tengu keep that sort of BS up, then none of the other teams will stand a chance."

"Alright, that's enough!" calls out the team coach Jim Morales, ending the conversation. "Now look, the legitimacy of having pet creatures on your broomsticks during Quidditch games is beside the point. They won, and we lost. That's it! It's over! Our season is over and done with! Now you guys are obviously really grumpy right now, not only because we lost the game, but because none of you have had anything to eat for awhile. I haven't either. I think what I should do is take us out to get a nice big dinner! That way we can fill our stomachs, even out our moods and talk about our hopes for next season. I'll even pay for everyone's meal! Whaddya say?"

Everyone in the team looks at each for awhile to contemplate this. Then they all nod their heads to signify their approval of the idea.

"Alright, great, let's go, then!" says Morales. And without any further conversation, the team finally leaves the Quidditch stadium to hit a nearby upscale restaurant...

...well, not all of them. While the others walk towards the restaurant, the team's Beaters, Ulrich Stern and Yumi Ishiyama, walk in the opposite direction without the team noticing, hoping to get away from them, particularly William, who has, in the past, openly asserted his romantic feelings for Yumi, who happens to be Ulrich's girlfriend.

Anyway, Ulrich and Yumi make it to their own hotel room, which is several blocks away from the stadium. As they enter the room, with Yumi locking the door, Ulrich says, "Man, I don't know about you, but I've REALLY been needing to get away from that William! Honestly, I haven't a single clue as to what Coach Morales was thinking, letting that little bastard be our Seeker. If you ask me, I say he lucky that we even made it into the playoffs in the first place! Still, I think the coach REALLY needs to consider making someone else the Seek-"

Just then, Yumi stops Ulrich's ranting by planting a hard kiss on the lips. It only lasts a second, just enough to calm Ulrich down. Yumi releases the kiss, and Ulrich simply smiles and blushes, saying "Aw, Yumi!"

And Yumi replies, "Hey, it's been a long day for us, especially with that loss. And I agree, you and I really do need some peace and quiet away from the team – they're probably still arguing their asses off right now."

"Yeah, I bet!" chuckles Ulrich. Heaving a sigh of contentment, Ulrich goes and turns off the lights, letting the moon provide all of their lighting. Then, he casually takes off his green shirt and white undershirt, as Yumi slips out of her black long-sleeve shirt. Ulrich then turns to Yumi; his eyes suddenly become fixated on her chests, growing very wide. That's when Yumi realizes that she forgot to wear a bra, meaning that she is completely topless right now. Her face flushes red with embarrassment. Ulrich, to put her at ease, says, "Don't sweat it! You do have really cute breasts, you know." Yumi giggles at this comment. At the same time, Ulrich feels a hardening bulge in his pants...

...but then, before he can think any more of it, Yumi pulls Ulrich in for a hot, wet and passionate kiss. She pulls her topless body up against his shirtless body, belly-to-belly and chest-to-chest. As they continue to lock lips, they both wrap their arms around each other, caressing each other's bare backs with their palms.

...

After what seems like forever, the two stop kissing, and stare into each other for a moment with smiles. As the two discreetly slip off their sneakers, Ulrich speaks softly, "It's been so long, hasn't it? Since you, me, Aelita, Jeremy and Odd defeated X.A.N.A."

"Oh, yes," Yumi intones. "I, for one, never expected to survive all of those battles, but by God, we did!"

"It's ironic, isn't it?" Ulrich replies. "You and I got closer with each battle, so you could say that if it weren't for X.A.N.A., we never would've gotten together in the first place. Especially with how introverted I am!"

"Yeah, that's true," chuckles Yumi. She then breaks their embrace, gets on the bed and lies on her back, winking at Ulrich. Knowing what she means, Ulrich climbs onto the bed to join her. He crawls up over top of her and locks lips with her again – this time, they bring their tongues into the equation.

...

After a long lip-to-lip makeout session, Ulrich then kisses Yumi's neck a number of times. Yumi doesn't moan – rather, she giggles as she is in fact ticklish to this sort of thing. Ulrich then moves on to kissing her shoulder, making her giggle some more. After many kisses on the shoulder, Ulrich moves on to applying kisses on Yumi's breasts – even more giggles are incited with each lip-plant. And finally, Ulrich begins to kiss his way down Yumi's belly; starting from just below the breasts, and slowly but surely moving down to the belly button and to right below the waistline. Each kiss cause Yumi to make another giggle.

...

The two then take a moment to relax, then they flip over and swap sides. Yumi is now on top of Ulrich – he can't help but get just a little more aroused as her hair touches his bare chest. Then, Yumi starts doing what Ulrich did to her – she starts to apply sweet kisses on his neck. And just like Yumi, Ulrich is also ticklish to that sort of thing, so he too releases a series of giggles as Yumi plants a series of kisses onto his neck and his shoulder. Yumi then rests a moment; after that, she starts to kiss Ulrich's chest, making him giggle again. She slowly, gradually moves down his torso with her kisses – then, when she gets to the belly button, Yumi starts to blow raspberries on it. Ulrich's giggling gives way to hysterical laughter while she does this.

...

Then, after some relaxation, Yumi goes back to making out lip-to-lip with Ulrich. They bring their tongues into the occasion, probing each other's mouths extremely amorously, all the while stroking each other's hair in much the same amorous manner.

...

For a long time, they keep that up. Then they stop, and stare into each other's faces.

"How long has it been since we had this much fun?" Ulrich asks.

"I don't know?" answers Yumi. "This Quidditch business has made our lives real freakin' hectic. You and I should've done this more often while we were at it."

"Well, at least we're together now," Ulrich smiles as he cups Yumi's face with his hands. They share a brief kiss, then stare at each other for another moment. Ulrich then says, "Well, I don't know what else to say, except that you've really conquered my heart! I love you Yumi!"

"I love you too, Ulrich!" replies Yumi. She gives Ulrich one last kiss on the lips before lying her head on top of her chest and closing her eyes.

Ulrich glances over to the bedside clock to see that it's nearly midnight. He shrugs it off, then turns his face back to Yumi. "Goodnight, my love," he whispers as he holds her in his arms, softly rubbing her bare back.

Before long, Yumi falls asleep. The sound of her soft snoring is soothing to Ulrich's ears; all the while, he's thinking, "Oh, sweet Yumi. So kind and pretty and everything. I'd love to marry you someday, maybe we could even start a family. That'd be a few years away but it'd be worth it. Oh, sweet Yumi..."

Eventually, Ulrich closes his own eyes, still holding Yumi, and drifts off to sleep.


	65. Conference Championships

** This game is for the International Conference championship! The match-up; Toronto Salamanders vs Tokyo Tengu!**

** Team rosters;**

**Toronto Salamanders**

** Chaser: Gwen (#59)**

** Chaser: Heather [C] (#55)**

** Chaser: Lindsay (#84)**

** Beater: Duncan (#57)**

** Beater: Alejandro (#42)**

** Keeper: Owen (#75)**

** Seeker: Tyler (#70)**

** Coach: Chris McLean**

**Tokyo Tengu**

** Chaser: Misty (#68)**

** Chaser: May (#39)**

** Chaser: Iris (#45)**

** Beater: Brock (#04)**

** Beater: Cilan (#49)**

** Keeper: Dawn (#42)**

** Seeker: Ash Ketchum [C] (#22)**

** Coach: Professor Oak**

** Take it away, FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: 44 teams in the league – and only 6 are left. It's been a crazy postseason thus far – last week, the Milwaukee Death Eaters came out of nowhere and attacked the Philadelphia Thestrals; thanks to them, the Birmingham War Pigs are facing the New England Griffins for the American Conference championship. But that's not what we're focusing on – we're coming at you live from Tokyo, Japan, where the Toulouse Sphinxes will wage war with the Tokyo Tengu for the International Conference championship! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, joined by John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: It's quite remarkable that the Tokyo Tengu have made it this far. Ash's Pocket Monster has not been 100% since that game with the Detroit Unicorns. Still, he is a tough little devil. Of course, I think that the whole team and their Pocket Monsters will have to give it all they got in order to take the conference championship from the Toronto Salamanders.

Hermione: You know, rumor is that the Toulouse Sphinxes, the team they beat last week, have openly questioned the legality of having those creatures aboard the broomsticks. I for one, think they may have some valid points.

Ron: Well with all these other teams and their crazy superpowers, it would actually make sense to have these Pocket Monsters to fight back with.

Harry: True, but the Toronto Salamanders don't have any powers of their own. And if the Tokyo Tengu keep it up, then the Salamanders are over and done with for the season.

Michaels: That sounds like a plausible outcome to me…

…

Ash: You sure you're up for this, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika pika!

Brock: I'm still worried about Pikachu, Ash. He's only been about 85-90% at best since that good-for-nothing pony attacked him.

Ash: It's okay, you guys. It's not like the Salamanders can pull off anything like that. NOW LET'S KICK SOME SALAMANDER ASS!

…

**The referee releases the Bludgers, followed by the Golden Snitch. They all fly to where none of the players can see them. When that is taken care of, the referee takes the Quaffle, walks to the center of the pitch with it, and promptly tosses it up high in to the air.**

Michaels: And we are officially underway for the International Conference championship!

**The two teams briefly squabble over the Quaffle as it hits mid-air. It is Heather who gets her hands on it for the Toronto Salamanders. Misty and May catch her and try to take the Quaffle away, but they both fail.**

** Then, just when it seems like Heather is going to take her shot…**

Brock: Geodude, use Rock Throw!

…

Heather: Ooh! Ooh! Ouch! Dammit!

Michaels: Brock's Pocket Monster is pummeling Heather with those rocks… she's dropped the Quaffle, and the Tengu have come up with it!

Harry: Speaking of Heather, remember what happened to her in Week 14? I'd love to see that happen again here, heh heh heh…

Hermione: (slaps Harry) You are so perverted, you know that?

**Brock's Pokemon Geodude throws a flurry of rocks at Heather, causing her to drop the Quaffle; Iris gains possession of it for the Tokyo Tengu.**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us to the National Conference championship game in Portland, Oregon, where the Tampa Bay Trolls are challenging the Portland Parselmouths for the National Conference championship. Right now, the game is still scoreless. Sarah has the Quaffle for the Tampa Bay Trolls. Right when she's about to take her shot, a Bludger, courtesy of Nelson Muntz, hits her in the head, causing her to drop the Quaffle and fall off of her broom.**_

_Nelson: HA HA!_

_Ed: (gasp) Oh, no! BABY SISTER!_

_**Bart Simpson then picks up the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths and scores a goal shortly after, putting the Parselmouths in the lead, 10-0.**_

__**BACK TO TOKYO**

Michaels: Iris shoots, and she SCORES! 10 points to the Tokyo Tengu!

Iris: All right! We did it, Axew!

Ash: Great shot, Iris! (kisses Iris on the cheek)

Iris: (giggles) Oh, Ash!

Madden: This was a classic fakeout play right here. Watch, Owen is in front of the center hoop, so Iris pretends to aim for that. But then she ends up shooting at the right hoop, Owen can't get to it in time, and now the Tokyo Tengu are ahead 10-0.

**After dealing with the Salamanders' Chasers, Iris is able to score a goal, putting the Tokyo Tengu in the lead, 10-0.**

** Owen then throws the Quaffle back in to play, where it is retrieved by Gwen.**

** There is a Bludger headed for her, but Duncan intervenes and hits it toward May, forcing her to back off from Gwen. Gwen then passes the Quaffle before Lindsay before Misty has the chance to steal it away. Eventually, Gwen makes it to the Tokyo Tengu scoring area;**

Dawn: Piplup, use Hydro Pump!

…

All: OH!

Michaels: Dawn's Pocket Monster just leveled Lindsay with that blast of water, the shot is no good, and the Tengu have the Quaffle again!

Hermione: I'm starting to agree with the Sphinxes – perhaps the Tengu DO have an unfair advantage with those creatures aboard their broomsticks?

Harry: Oh, shut up, Hermione!

**Dawn's Pokemon Piplup uses Hydro Pump, shooting a jet of water right straight in to Lindsay's face, disorienting her and causing her to drop the Quaffle. May then takes it up for the Tokyo Tengu.**

** Alejandro hits a Bludger at May, but it misses and comes dangerously close to hitting Heather. Neither Gwen nor Lindsay are able to catch up to her, either. And so, with no other opposition, May makes her approach on the Salamander's goal, where Owen, their Keeper, awaits with a smug grin on his face.**

May: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!

…

Madden: Good God Almighty!

Michaels: May's Pocket Monster is launching sound-waves at Owen…

Ron: Bloody hell! She's just scored a goal!

Hermione: Honestly, she didn't have to do that! That was such a cheap shot!

Ash: You really handed his ass to him, May! (kisses May on the cheek)

May: (blushes)

**May's Pokemon Beautifly uses Bug Buzz on Owen, bathing him in sound waves and disorienting him with the resulting pain. This allows May to shoot and score a goal with no opposition or effort. As a result, the Tokyo Tengu are now leading the Toronto Salamanders 20-0.**

** Owen, just like last time, throws the Quaffle back in to play. This time, it is Lindsay who gains possession of it for the team.**

** But right when she makes it halfway across the pitch, Misty pops up from out of nowhere and wrenches the Quaffle out of Lindsay's arms, taking it in the other direction.**

Lindsay: Hey, get back here, you stupid tomboy!

Misty: (flips bird)

**Duncan hits a Bludger in Misty's direction, but it misses, coming dangerously close to hitting Gwen in the head. Heather is unable to get the Quaffle out of Misty's hands, either, so Misty makes her way freely in to the Salamanders' scoring area;**

Michaels: Misty shoots, and she SCORES! The Tokyo Tengu have amassed a 30-0 lead!

Misty: Ha hah, yes! Salamanders suck BALLS!

Ash: Damn right they do, heh heh! (kisses Misty on the cheek)

Misty: (giggles)

**Thanks to Misty's goal, the Tokyo Tengu have now amassed a 30-0 lead over the Toronto Salamanders.**

** Yet again, more grudgingly this time, Owen heaves the Quaffle back in to play. Heather catches it for the Salamanders this time around.**

** Meanwhile;**

Michaels: And it looks like Tyler has gone out after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: And he damn well better catch it soon before Ash Ketchum starts to chase it. Otherwise, the Toronto Salamanders will be kissing their championship hopes good-bye.

Harry: Then again, Ash's Pocket Monster is still not 100%...

Ron: Yeah, but it can still kick some meaty ass!

Hermione: (facepalm) Honestly…

**While his team gets the Quaffle back, Tyler starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Toronto Salamanders. However, his lack of athletic talent (which is ironic, since she is a jock, after all) keeps him from actually catching the thing. Even though he may have been able to catch up to it, his less than stellar hand to eye coordination inhibits him from making a grab on the Snitch – it slips through his fingers every time he tries to do so.**

** And sure enough, eventually, his luck appears about ready to run out;**

Michaels: Look out – Ash Ketchum appears to be chasing after the Snitch now!

Hermione: Oh, that's it! It's over! The Tengu have already defeated the Salamanders – we may as well pack up and leave. Honestly, why the hell did FOX choose to broadcast this game? It was over before it even began!

Madden: Well, maybe Tyler will luck out and catch the Snitch before Ash pulls off anything crazy.

Harry: I seriously doubt that, John…

**In due time, Ash Ketchum starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Tokyo Tengu. He is, however, not quite able to catch up to Tyler, meaning that the Salamanders still have a chance to win…**

_**GAME BREAK**_

_** This Game Break takes us to the American Conference championship game in Providence, Rhode Island, where the Birmingham War Pigs are challenging the New England Griffins for the American Conference championship. The score is tied up at 50. Pickles, in his usual drunken stupor, is chasing after the Golden Snitch for the Birmingham War Pigs. He swerves around erratically in every direction, as the alcohol in his system has clouded his judgment a great deal. Then, just as he's about to catch the Snitch, Stewie Griffin comes up from behind and shoots the tail end of Pickles's broom with his laser blaster, disabling Pickles's broom and making him crash to the ground.**_

_Pickles: (slurred groaning)_

_Stewie: Victory is mine!_

_**Stewie Griffin goes on to catch the Golden Snitch, and the New England Conference win the American Conference championship game with a 200-50 score over the Birmingham War Pigs.**_

__**BACK TO TOKYO**

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

…

All: OH!

Michaels: Tyler has just been blasted off his broom by Ash's Pocket Monster!

Hermione: Just like I said before – this game was over and done with before it even got started!

Ron: You know what, Hermione? I agree with you!

**Ash's Pokemon Pikachu uses Thunderbolt – the blast scores a direct hit on Tyler, sending a powerful electrical shock through his body, causing him to lose his momentum and balance and fall off of his broom, hitting the ground with a hard thud and knocking him out of the chase for the Snitch, seemingly ending the Toronto Salamanders' postseason…**

Ash: Way to go, Pikachu!

Pikachu: Pika pika!

Ash: Now let's catch that Snitch!

…

Ash: YES! I got it!

Pikachu: PIKA!

Michaels: That's it! It's over! Ash Ketchum has caught the Golden Snitch, and the Tokyo Tengu are your International Conference champions!

Hermione: Let's be honest here, guys. Who really did NOT see this outcome coming?

All: …

Hermione: I didn't think so.

Brock: YES! Hell yeah! We're going to the Potter Bowl!

Cilan: Err, not quite, Brock. We still have to play the championship semifinal game to get in to that game – at least I think we do. (shrug)

Ash: Oh, like that's gonna matter! Either way, we're winning that stupid semifinal game, and we ARE going to the Potter Bowl, and we WILL win! Who's with me?

**Moved by Ash's words, everyone in the team gathers around, putting their hands in a circle.**

Ash: Tengu on 3! 1, 2, 3…

All: TENGU!

**Around the WLCQ;**

** American Conference;**

**Birmingham War Pigs – 50; New England Griffins – 200**

** National Conference;**

**Tampa Bay Trolls – 20; Portland Parselmouths – 190**

** And now, presenting the Conference champions;**

**American Conference champions; New England Griffins**

**National Conference champions; Portland Parselmouths***

**International Conference champions; Tokyo Tengu**

** (* - out of all the conference champions, the Portland Parselmouths have the best regular-season record, therefore, they get an automatic spot in the Potter Bowl.)**

** Championship semifinal match-up; Tokyo Tengu vs New England Griffins**

** See you in New England!**


	66. Peace and Love

Now before we proceed to the championship semifinal, I have yet another side story;

This one takes place in Providence, Rhode Island, on Saturday evening, the evening before the championship semifinal game. The team that this story will primarily focus on is the Tokyo Tengu; last week, they defeated the Toronto Salamanders for the International Conference championship, and tomorrow, they will play the New England Griffins to decide who will face the Portland Parselmouths in the Potter Bowl.

Anyway, right now, the team's Beaters, Brock and Cilan, and their coach, Professor Oak, are out enjoying the Providence nightlife – but they'll have no part in this story. Rather, we'll focus on the hotel that the team is sleeping at. In one particular room, we will find Ash Ketchum, with Misty, May, Dawn, Iris, and of course, Pikachu, keeping him company.

Right now, Ash is sitting comfortably on the edge of the bed, wearing no shirt, shoes or hat. Pikachu is sitting on his lap as Ash pets him. Dawn and Iris are rubbing Ash's feet, May is rubbing his back and shoulders, and Misty is fluffing his hair.

"Man, you have some pretty good muscles," May chuckles. "Playing Quidditch really has done wonders for you!"

The other girls share a giggle. Ash blushes and says. "Eh, well it's not like I'm trying that hard or anything…"

"Well either way," Dawn chips in, "you are really hot!"

Misty, May and Iris share another giggle. Ash blushes again and tries to change the subject, saying, "Ah so, uh, how you all feelin' about tomorrow's game?"

"Awesome as ever!" Misty replies with enthusiasm. "We're so beating those overrated Griffins tomorrow!"

"And then we're goin' to the Potter Bowl!" exclaims Iris. "And we're SO beating those Parselmouths!"

"What do you think, Pikachu?" asks Ash. Pikachu smiles and lets out an uplifting "Pika pika!" indicating that he is just as raring to go. The sound of his voice incites laughter from Ash and the girls.

…

Little do they know that a number of other Quidditch teams have come to attend the championship semifinal game. Among them; the Detroit Unicorns, the team who wounded Pikachu with a Severing Charm back in the last week of the regular season. One of the Unicorns players, Fluttershy, arouses particular concern, as she has managed to track down the hotel room where Ash, Misty, May, Dawn, Iris and Pikachu are staying. With a very shy and nervous demeanor, Fluttershy approaches the door to this room, and knocks.

"I'll get it!" says Dawn. She skips up to the door and opens it. When she recognizes Fluttershy standing in front of her, the smile is wiped clean off her face. "Oh, it's you," she groans. "Well come on in, I guess."

And so Fluttershy walks into the room. As soon as Ash recognizes her, he stands up with a start, his face twisted with anger. "Oh, you have got a LOT of nerve showing your filthy ass around h-"

"Wait, Ash! Pump the brakes!" Iris breaks in. "I don't think she's here to cause any trouble or anything!"

And sure enough, Fluttershy does not charge at them, try to kick them, or attempt anything else that would be rash. Rather, she just stands there, her face reeking with meekness. "So what exactly ARE you here for?" Ash snaps.

Fluttershy hesitates for a split-second before saying, "Uh, well I uh... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all the hell that my teammates put you through." After a second of silence, she asks, "How, uh, how's Pikachu?"

"He's fine," Ash says nonchalantly, "though he hasn't been 100% since your damn teammate wounded him."

"Oh," says Fluttershy. "Well, uh, can I see him?

"Fine," Ash shrugs. He picks up Pikachu and sets him on the bed, right by where he's sitting. When Pikachu sees Fluttershy looking at him, he starts to quiver with fear, afraid for his life, afraid that Fluttershy will attack him in the same way Rarity did. But instead, Fluttershy advances towards him slowly, with a reassuring smile on her face. Yet, as she gets closer to him, his quivering gets worse. Just when it seems like he couldn't be more afraid for his life, Fluttershy reaches out... and plants a soft kiss on Pikachu's forehead.

This manages to stop Pikachu's quivering – his fright giving way, not to delight, but to confusion. He glances up at Fluttershy with a shocked look on his face, staring up into her smiling face. But, after a moment, a smile comes on his face as he lets out a happy "Pika pi!" Fluttershy follows through with a pat on his head."

"Hey, Pikachu likes you!" says Misty. As soon as she says that, Pikachu hops down from the bed and rubs up to Fluttershy ankle, nuzzling it. As he does so, Fluttershy pets his back with her free hoof. Ash shrugs with a sheepish smile as he watches this. He reasons that he has no viable motive to hate on Fluttershy, since she had no part in their brawl after their game back in Week 22, and also since Pikachu, his best friend and wingman, has taking a liking to her.

After another moment, Fluttershy looks up to Ash and says nervously, "So, uh, we're cool, right?"

Ash thinks for a second and then replies, "Eh, why not? After all, Pikachu's my best friend, any friend of his is a friend of mine!"

Fluttershy blushes a little at this, and then, without warning, she trots up to Ash, and as a gesture, starts to lick Ash's bare belly. "Hey, stop it; that tickles!" Ash laughs uncontrollably as Fluttershy continues to lick him on his exposed belly button. Misty, May, Dawn and Iris can't help but chuckle at this display of affection.

After about half a minute, Fluttershy stops licking Ash, who continues to laugh a little bit more. "Eh, I'm just messin' with ya," Fluttershy shrugs. As Ash regains his composure, Fluttershy then gets serious for a moment; "But seriously, I'm glad I got the chance to make peace with you guys – I really don't like grudges, you know."

Ash and the girls nod their heads in agreement. Then Fluttershy says, "Alright, well I'd better get back with my team – hopefully they don't find out about our little meeting. So uh, I guess I'll see ya 'round!" Fluttershy then gives hugs to everyone, plus another kiss for Pikachu and another lick on Ash's belly button before waving them all goodbye and leaving, closing the door behind her.

Seizing the chance, Misty, May, Dawn and Iris get close to Ash. May says in a sensual tone, "Now that we're done making peace with that pony, how's about you have some fun with us?"

Ash grins, knowing what's coming. Pikachu runs into the bathroom and closes the door, taking cover. Then, Misty, May, Dawn and Iris get right up to Ash from all directions, wrapping their arms around his bare torso and covering his lips, cheeks, and the back of his neck with kisses. Ash just sits there and enjoys it. Eventually, the girls shirts start to come off...


	67. Championship Semifinal

** This game will decide who plays the Portland Parselmouths in the Potter Bowl! The match-up; Tokyo Tengu vs New England Griffins!**

** Team rosters;**

**Tokyo Tengu**

** Chaser: Misty (#68)**

** Chaser: May (#39)**

** Chaser: Iris (#45)**

** Beater: Brock (#04)**

** Beater: Cilan (#49)**

** Keeper: Dawn (#42)**

** Seeker: Ash Ketchum [C] (#22)**

** Coach: Professor Oak**

**New England Griffins**

** Chaser: Lois Griffin (#39)**

** Chaser: Meg Griffin (#45)**

** Chaser: Brian Griffin (#8)**

** Beater: Peter Griffin [C] (#93)**

** Beater: Chris Griffin (#54)**

** Keeper: Glenn Quagmire (#69)**

** Seeker: Stewie Griffin (#08)**

** Coach: Joe Swanson**

** Now tuning on to FOX;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: We're almost there, everyone! We've already decided one of the teams that will play in the Potter Bowl – the Portland Parselmouths! But we still have two conference champions left – the New England Griffins and the Tokyo Tengu! We still have one game left to determine which one of those teams will face the Portland Parselmouths for the championship. And for that, we are coming at you live from Providence, Rhode Island, where the Griffins and the Tengu will duke it out for that last spot in the Potter Bowl! Welcome to the game, I'm Al Michaels; with me is John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Man, the New England Griffins are in a real pickle here! Sure, they're one of the top teams in the league, but look who they're playing; the Tokyo Tengu! The team with all those vicious Pocket Monsters aboard their broomsticks. Whatever the Griffins do, it's imperative that they evade whatever attacks the Tengu may have up their sleeve.

Harry: One thing you're forgetting, John, is that the Griffins aren't totally defenseless. Their Seeker, Stewie Griffin, never goes in to a Quidditch game without his handy, dandy laser blaster. So if worse comes to worse, he could just blast Ash Ketchum, or his Pocket Monster, out of the sky and maybe win the game.

Hermione: Honestly, Harry, that's the last thing the Tengu need! You remember what happened to them back in Week 22, don't you?

Ron: Well honestly, I don't care who beats who, who attacks who, or whatever. Either way, I just know that this game is gonna be bloody AWESOME!

Michaels: I'm pretty sure that it will be, Ron.

...

Ash: OK guys, we're almost there! We just have to do the Griffins like we did the Sphinxes and the Salamanders, and then it's on to the Potter Bowl! WHO'S WITH ME?

Tengu: (cheering)

Pikachu: PIKA PI!

...

Quagmire: Man, I never knew the Tengu had such hot babes on their team. Giggity!

...

**Like in all of the games earlier on in the season, the Bludgers are released to fly anywhere out of sight from the players that they want to. The Golden Snitch is released right after them, and it does the same thing. Then, the Quaffle is taken to the center of the pitch by the referee, and from there, it is tossed straight up in to the air.**

Michaels: And here we go – this is for that last spot in the Potter Bowl!

**After fighting for it for a short time, Brian Griffin comes up with the Quaffle for the New England Griffins. Neither Misty, May, nor Iris are capable of catching him. But then, his happens;**

Cilan: Pansage, use Bullet Seed!

...

Brian: What the- ouch! Ouch! Son of a bitch!

Michaels: Brian Griffin is being pummeled by those projectiles from Cilan's Pocket Monster – now he's let go of the Quaffle, and the Tokyo Tengu have got it!

Ron: Oh, man! I can already see it coming – the New England Griffins are gonna get SLAUGHTERED!

Harry: Don't speak too soon, Ron. Don't speak too soon...

**Cilan's Pokemon Pansage uses Bullet Seed, pelting Brian Griffin with a flurry of seeds, disorienting him and causing him to drop the Quaffle. This move enables May to pick up the Quaffle for the Tokyo Tengu.**

** Meg Griffin goes after her, but Brock hits a Bludger at her and forces her to break off. From there, May is able to make it in to the New England scoring area;**

Michaels: May shoots, and she SCORES! 10 points to the Tokyo Tengu!

Miay: Whooo, YEAH!

Ash: That was a pretty stellar shot, Misty! (kisses May)

May: (blushes)

Madden: Now I could be mistaken, but it looked as if Quagmire was actually ogling May. Is he like a pedophile or something? Whatever, that's beside the point. The point is, he botched that save, and the Tengu are now one step closer to going to the Potter Bowl.

**May's goal puts the Tokyo Tengu in to a 10-0 lead. After the goal, Glenn Quagmire throws the Quaffle back in to play for it to be retrieved by Lois Griffin.**

** A Bludger heads for Lois, but her husband Peter Griffin makes short work of it, hitting it right towards May, forcing her to back off from Lois. Iris then makes a rush at Lois, but she manages to evade her before she can get her hands on the Quaffle.**

** And so Lois is able to fly her way up to the New England goal...**

Dawn: Piplup, use Hydro Pump!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Lois: AAH, Dammit! Make it stop!

Michaels: Lois Griffin has just dropped the Quaffle – Dawn's Pocket Monster has shot a jet of water right in to her face, and the Tokyo Tengu have the Quaffle once again.

Hermione: I know I've said it before, but the Tokyo Tengu really DO have an unfair advantage with those creatures on their broomsticks attacking the opposing team!

Ron: Perhaps you're right, Hermione. But either way, I for one still think that it's so bloody fun to watch!

**Dawn's Pokemon Piplup uses Hydro Pump, blasting a jet of water right straight in to Lois Griffin's face, halting her forward progress, taking away her momentum and preventing her from taking her shot. The force of the spray prevents her from holding on to the Quaffle, and she ends up dropping it. Iris then picks it up for the Tokyo Tengu.**

** Meanwhile...**

Michaels: Hey, look at this! Ash Ketchum is chasing after the Golden Snitch!

Madden: Man, oh man. This game is setting up to be a total shutout!

Hermione: Yeah, it's pretty much over. With that creature on his broom, the Griffins won't even able to get close to the Snitch!

Harry: You're forgetting about Stewie Griffin and his laser blaster...

**As his team regains possession of the Quaffle yet again, Ash Ketchum starts to chase after the Golden Snitch for the Tokyo Tengu. He is very fast and speedy on his broom, even with Pikachu onboard, so for him, it is not at all terribly difficult to catch right up to the Snitch. But for him, just like every other Seeker in the league, actually catching the thing is another story. It very quickly and unexpectedly evades the path of Ash's hand every time that he reaches it out to try and catch it...**

**In the meantime, Iris has the Quaffle for the Tengu. But suddenly a Bludger, courtesy of Chris Griffin, just barely misses her, throwing her off and causing her to fumble the Quaffle around. Seizing the opportunity, Meg Griffin takes the Quaffle away from Iris before she can regain her grip on it.**

Iris: Hey, get back here, you ugly bitch!

**But of course, that does not work, as Meg continues to take the Quaffle towards the Tengu goal. So Iris then decides to take a very drastic measure;**

Iris: Axew, use Giga Impact!

...

Peter: Holy crap! MEG!

Michaels: Meg Griffin has just been blasted all the way to the other side of the pitch by Iris's Pocket Monster, and the Tengu have it back again!

Hermione: Anyone noticing anything? Whenever the Griffins get the Quaffle, the Tengu pull off one of these attacks, and they get the Quaffle right back! I don't know how the Griffins are gonna get out of this one!

Harry: Hmmm...

**Iris's Pokemon Axew uses Giga Impact on Meg Griffin, blasting her all the way over to the other side of the stadium. She drops the Quaffle in the process; before either Lois or Brian Griffin can reach it, Iris manages to scoop it up and reclaim possession for her team.**

** Iris manages to outfly Lois and Brian Griffin, essentially giving her a free pass to the New England goal...**

Michaels: And Iris SCORES! The Tengu go up 20-0!

Iris: YES!

Quagmire: Damn I missed! But damn, is she hot! Giggity!

**With Glenn Quagmire ogling Iris and not paying any attention to the Quaffle, Iris easily scores the goal, extending the Tokyo Tengu's lead to 20-0. Quagmire then throws the Quaffle back in to play; this time, it is Brian Griffin who comes up with it, much to the chagrin of Quagmire.**

Quagmire: Stupid dog...

**Misty and Iris both makes rushes at Brian to try and take the Quaffle out from his arms, but the both of them come up empty. Then, just as Brian makes it over in to the Tengu side of the pitch, this happens;**

May: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!

...

Brian: (screaming, yelping, and howling indistinctly)

Michaels: May's Pocket Monster is hitting Brian with those sound waves... he's let go of the Quaffle, and Misty has it for the Tengu!

Ron: You know what? I think Hermione is right. I think that the New England Griffins are bloody well screwed over, and the Tokyo Tengu are headed to the Potter Bowl!

Harry: How many times do I have to tell you guys? It ain't over till it's over!

**May's Pokemon Beautifly uses Bug Buzz on Brian Griffin. As dogs have incredibly sensitive ears for high-pitched noises, the sound waves inflict very severe pain on Brian's ears. He clutches his ears, yelping uncontrollably as the sound waves pulsate through his body. He drops the Quaffle as he continues to be attacked – only after Misty picks up the Quaffle for the Tengu does Beautifly lay off on the Bug Buzz attack.**

** Lois and Meg Griffin immediately go after Misty, but then Brock and Cilan hit Bludgers at them, thus forcing the both of them to back off. Now being in the clear, Misty is able to quickly and cleanly find her way in to the New England scoring area;**

Michaels: And Misty has SCORED! 30-0, Tokyo!

Misty: Oh, hell yeah!

Lois: Dammit Glenn, stop staring at their girls and keep your eye on the fuckin' ball, why don't ya?

Quagmire: I can't help it! They're all so fuckin' hot! Giggity!

**Once again, Glenn Quagmire focuses on the girl that is headed towards the goal, instead of focusing on the Quaffle in her hand. Misty capitalizes on this and is able to score a very easy goal, extending the Tokyo Tengu's lead to 30-0. Yet again, Quagmire throws the Quaffle back in to play, and this time, it is Meg Griffin who comes up with it for the New England Griffins.**

** Meanwhile, the Griffins may just be about ready to catch them a much-need break;**

Michaels: Well, it looks like Stewie Griffin is finally chasing after the Golden Snitch!

Ron: Well, it's about bloody time! His team is being totalle dominated on all fronts out there!

Hermione: Yeah, but it's not like Stewie can make one lousy freakin' difference for his team. All Ash Ketchum has got to do is get his Pocket Monster to use one of its electrical attacks, and then the game will be over.

Harry: Perhaps, perhaps. But that's only unless Stewie pulls his laser blaster first...

**In due time, Stewie Griffin starts to go after the Golden Snitch for the New England Griffins. But despite his speed, he is still a ways behind Ash Ketchum, who's right on the top of the Snitch, about ready to catch it. Realizing the stakes of this game, Stewie draws his laser blaster...**

Ash: PIKACHU!

Michaels: Stewie Griffin has shot Ash's Pocket Monster off of his broom...

Madden: And now Ash is flying down to check on him!

Harry: See, this is exactly what I was talking about! This is exactly what New England needed. Now it looks like they may actually win this!

**Stewie Griffin shoots Ash's Pokemon Pikachu in the back with his laser blaster. Pikachu screams as he falls off the broom, hitting the ground hard. Ash immediately breaks off from chasing the Snitch and flies down to check on Pikachu, thus opening the door for Stewie...**

Madden: He's got it! Stewie Griffin has the Snitch!

Michaels: The New England Griffins are going to the Potter Bowl!

Stewie: Victory is mine!

Peter: FREAKIN' SWEET!

Lois: Yay, Stewie!

**Capitalizing on Ash's breaking off from the Snitch chase, Stewie Griffin catches up to the Snitch unopposed, and eventually catches it. Thus, the American Conference champions, the New England Griffins, defeat the International Conference champions, the Tokyo Tengu, 150-30. Thus, it will be the Griffins who will face the National Conference champions, the Portland Parselmouths, in the Potter Bowl in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.**

** An insane uproar rips through the crowd as they cheer hysterically for their team's Potter Bowl berth. Meanwhile...**

Ash: Y'okay, Pikachu?

Pikachu: (thumbs up) Pika!

**With a heavy heart, Ash turns to the rest of his team.**

Ash: Well guys, we had them beat, but then... we lost. I uh, I don't know what else to say.

Brock: Eh, we gave it our best. And we did win the International Conference championship, so that counts for something. Right?

Ash: (sigh) I guess so.

Oak: Tell you what. How's about we all get some nice big pizzas, all on me? That will cheer us up!

Tengu: (nodding)

Ash: Well, here's to next season, you guys.

Tengu: TO NEXT SEASON!

...

**And so the Tokyo Tengu leave the stadium to go get pizzas to fill up their stomachs to maybe alleviate the feelings of disappointment resulting in them losing their potential spot in the Potter Bowl.**

**...**

** Speaking of, the Potter Bowl is the only game left (well, except for the All-Star Game)! It will be held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and it will be the New England Griffins versus the Portland Parselmouths for the WLCQ championship!**

** See you in Rio!**


	68. Place Your Bets

Now before we get to the Potter Bowl, I have another side story to tell;

This one is set a few hours before the game, in a giant upscale restaurant in Las Vegas, Nevada. The entirety of this restaurant has been closed to the general public, as it is being used for a big Potter Bowl party. A fair number of teams are expected to show up. Right now, the only characters in the place are Beavis and Butt-Head. They play for the Las Vegas Night Elves, and they are to be the hosts of this Potter Bowl party.

"Man, this party's gonna be great!" Butt-Head says, excited.

"No, the Potter Bowl's gonna be great!" retorts Beavis, who's equally excited.

"Yeah, but the Night Elves should've gone into the Potter Bowl this year!" replies Butt-Head.

"Yeah, but you know what I did go in to?" says Beavis. "Your mom last night, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!"

"Very funny," Butt-Head sarcastically snaps.

...

In time, the first of these teams arrives at the party. Beavis and Butt-Head can only stare at them with awe – six little kids, accompanied by a skeleton man in a black cloak, wielding a scythe. "You...you're...you're..." they say.

"We're the Milwaukee Death Eaters, you idiot!" says Grim.

"Oh, right! I knew that!" blushes Beavis.

Mandy then walks up to them and says, "You know what, just let me cut to the chase – we wanna place a bet!"

"Oooh, getting' into a spirit of Vegas, eh?" replies Butt-Head. "So uh, you who wanna bet on? Hmmm?"

As he says this, the team takes out large sums of money from their pockets and they give it to Mandy. Mandy puts this money on the table in front of Beavis and Butt-Head and proclaims, "$300 says the Portland Parselmouths will be Potter Bowl champions!"

"Excellent!" replies Butt-Head. "Now you guys feel free to sit wherever the fuck you want, okay?" And so Grim and Mandy (the latter is holding Billy's hand) lead their team to a table in an adjacent area.

...

Some time later;

"Oh crap! It's... THEM!" whispers Grim. He's referring to the next team that has walked in just now..."

"You must be the Philadelphia Thestrals!" Beavis says jovially. "Welcome to our Potter Bowl party!"

"Thanks, dude!" replies Rachel.

"Man, that was some win you got over those Louisville Phantoms!" Butt-Head says to them. "I laughed so hard when that ghost-boy hit his own sister, man!"

"Yeah, if only we could've dealt with those Birmingham War Pigs..." sighs Nigel.

"War Pigs..." intones Beavis. Then, he and Butt-Head break out into song; "Generals gathered in their masses. Just like witches at black masses. Evil minds that plot destruction. Sorcerer of death's construction. In the fields are bodies burning. As the war machine keeps turning. Death and hatred to mankind. Poisoning their brainwashed minds. Oh lord yeah!"

"I don't get it," says Abigail.

"You know, War Pigs!" answers Butt-Head. "It's a song! By Black Sabbath!"

The Thestrals share a moment of confused silence, not being at all familiar with what they're talking about. That's when they all share a collective gasp, as they notice the Milwaukee Death Eaters sitting not too far away. After having a brief stare-down with them, Butt-Head breaks the ice; "You guys wanna place a bet or what? If you must know, those guys are going for the Parselmouths."

This motivates the Thestrals to take out their money. As they put it on the table, Nigel proclaims, "In that case, this $250 is for the Griffins!"

As soon as he says this, the doors open and another team enters...

"HEY GUYS!" exclaims the Thestrals and the Louisville Phantoms. The two teams exchange a series of hugs, handshakes and high-fives, then Danny asks them, "How you guys doin'? Oh, uh, sorry about your loss to the War Pigs."

"Oh, it's okay, we're doin' fine," responds Wally. "Hey, how's Jazz been since you accidentally hit her with that energy blast?"

"It hurt like a bitch!" answers Jazz. "But I'm okay."

As the two teams share a laugh, Beavis then calls out to the Phantoms, "Hey guys! Everyone's betting on who wins the Potter Bowl; you guys wanna hop aboard?"

After a moment of thinking it over, the Phantoms take out $250 and put it on the table. "We're with whoever the Thestrals are with!" proclaims Danny.

"That would be the Griffins," says Butt-Head.

"Excellent!" the Phantoms all say. They and the Thestrals sit down together on the opposite side of the room from where the Death Eaters are. Shortly after that, another team enters;

"Ah, konichi-wa, Kyoto Kappa, hmm-hmm-hee!" Beavis laughs. That's when he notices Serenity Wheeler and becomes confused; "Hey, you're not on the team, are you?"

"No," Serenity shrugs." But my brother and my fiancée are."

"That actually brings me to something," says her fiancée, Seto Kaiba. Everyone in the room listens intently as he says to his teammates, "We've decided that our wedding will be right here, in Las Vegas... tomorrow!"

A chorus of applause ripples through the place. "That's awesome!" Butt-Head smiles. Then, as the applause dies off, he says to the Kappa, "Care to spice things up with a bet?"

The Kyoto Kappa all look at each for a moment. They shrug it off, then they take out their cash and put in on the table. "$200 for the Parselmouths!" proclaims Yugi Moto." Then he and the rest of his team take their seats with the Death Eaters.

...

"The superheroes are in the house!" Butt-Head smiles. "It's the New Orleans Dark Mark! Welcome, you guys!"

"But seriously," adds Beavis, "being superheroes and all, surely you guys would've made the Potter Bowl?"

"Eh, those Portland Parselmouths got lucky," shrugs Cyborg.

Then Beastboy says, "Still, they are a bunch of real tough S.O.B.'s, and if they could beat us, who knows what they could do today?" Then, everyone on the team takes out their cash and sets it on the table, with Robin saying, "And that's why this $210 dollars is for the Parselmouths!"

"Seriously?" Butt-Head raises his eyebrow. "Would've expected you to go with the Griffins, but okay."

And so the New Orleans Dark Mark sit down with the Milwaukee Death Eaters and Kyoto Kappa. Then...

"Fucking ponies!" exclaims Butt-Head. "It's the Detroit Unicorns!"

"You know it," Rainbow Dash smugly replies. "And we're simply awesome!"

"Hmmm," intones Beavis. "That's big talk for a team that went 7-15, hmm-hmm-hee!"

"Whatever," replies Rainbow Dash. "We wanna place a bet!" And with that, she and her teammates break out the cash and set it on the table. "$350 for the Parselmouths!" Then, after the Unicorns take their seats with the Dark Mark, Kappa and Death Eaters...

"Welcome to the Potter Bowl party, Tampa Bay Trolls!" says Beavis.

"We travelled all the way from America's wang just to be here!" replies Rolf.

Beavis, Butt-Head and most of Rolf's teammates burst out into laughter at his remark. Edd, on the other hand, says sarcastically, "Ha ha ha, very funny, Rolf!"

"Alright, so you wanna place a bet or what?" Butt-Head asks. As soon as he says this, the team's cash is on the table. "$400 for the Griffins!" Eddy says loud and proud. The Trolls then sit down with the Thestrals and Phantoms. Then...

"The Toulouse Sphinxes!" grins Beavis. "How ya doin', Frenchies?"

"Uh, I'm from Japan," Yumi snaps.

"Whatever," Beavis shrugs. "C'mon, place a bet. Everyone else is doing it!"

The Sphinxes talk it over, then they lay their cash on the table. "$320 for the Griffins!" says Aelita. Then she and her teammates sit with the Thestrals, Phantoms and Trolls.

...

"Whoa!" says Beavis. "Are those fairies?"

"Not just any fairies," replies Butt-Head. "The Rome Fairies! Ciao, you guys. Man, it was so awesome how you strangled those Louisville Phantoms and set them on fire! You guys should be in the Potter Bowl right now!"

"We know," Bloom sighs.

"But we decided to come here instead of moping around in the dark," adds Stella.

"Very good," replies Butt-Head. "And while you're here, perhaps you'd like to raise the stakes a little with a bet?"

After a brief discussion, the team takes out some cash and lays it on the table. "$290 for the Parselmouths!" proclaims Sky. Then he and the rest of the team take their seats with the Death Eaters, Kappa, Dark Mark and Unicorns.

In comes yet another team...

"All the way from Canada, it's the Toronto Salamanders!" Butt-Head says, imitating an arena announcer.

""You guys wanna be famous, eh?" Beavis smirks. "Well, you've certainly done that... by losing to the Tokyo Tengu, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!"

"That's very funny!" Heather sarcastically snaps. "Look, we wanna place a bet, alright? $150 for the Griffins!" She places her team's money on the table and then takes her seat with the Thestrals, Phantoms, Trolls and Sphinxes.

...

The last team to arrive is the Houston Horcruxes. They don't say anything to Beavis or Butt-Head – they just smile at them, then place their bet ($200 for the Griffins), and sit down with the Thestrals, Phantoms, Trolls, Sphinxes and Salamanders.

...

When it becomes apparent that no one can talk, Beavis and Butt-Head turn the giant TV on, setting it to mute. Then Beavis says to everyone, "So how you guys doin'? You all excited about the game?"

Everyone cheers, then Beavis asks, "Don't you just wish you all were in it, heh-hmm-hmm-hee?"

Everyone sheepishly nods at this remark. Then Butt-Head breaks in, "But seriously, you guys all placed bets, and this is how it's gonna work; you guys have all pitched in some money. We've counted, and the amount we got was a grand total of $2,820!" He points to the Death Eaters, Kappa, Dark Mark, Fairies and Unicorns and says, "Now you guys have all bet on the Portland Parselmouths." Pointing to the Thestrals, Phantoms, Horcruxes, Sphinxes, Salamanders and Trolls, he says, "And you guys have all bet on the New England Griffins. From there, it's real simple; whichever side's team wins get all the $2,820, which will be split evenly between you. How do you like that?"

Everyone cheers aloud, excited about the prospect of winning money in Vegas. Then, Beavis unmutes the TV and says, "Alright, everyone, shut up! It's starting..."


	69. Potter Bowl

** Well guys, this is it! Many long and hard weeks of ass-busting have all come down to this championship game; the Potter Bowl! Of all the 44 teams in the league, only 2 have made it to the very end – the New England Griffins and the Portland Parselmouths!**

** Team rosters;**

**New England Griffins**

** Chaser: Lois Griffin (#39)**

** Chaser: Meg Griffin (#45)**

** Chaser: Brian Griffin (#8)**

** Beater: Peter Griffin [C] (#93)**

** Beater: Chris Griffin (#54)**

** Keeper: Glenn Quagmire (#69)**

** Seeker: Stewie Griffin (#08)**

** Coach: Joe Swanson**

**Portland Parselmouths**

** Chaser: Marge Simpson (#38)**

** Chaser: Bart Simpson (#54)**

** Chaser: Lisa Simpson (#45)**

** Beater: Nelson Muntz (#27)**

** Beater: Moe Szyslak (#32)**

** Keeper: Homer Simpson [C] (#83)**

** Seeker: Milhouse Van Houten (#43)**

** Coach: Charles Montgomery Burns**

** FOX?**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: This is it, everyone! We're live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil for the grand finale, the granddaddy of it all, the Potter Bowl! 44 teams started this season, and only 2 remain. Welcome to the Potter Bowl, I'm Al Michaels, and with me as always, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Oh, wow! Just... just wow! I'm so freakin' excited! We're down in Rio, Brazil, with these two league stalwarts, these titans, here to battle for supremacy in the biggest Quidditch game of the year-

Hermione: Wait a minute, I thought the World Cup was the biggest game of the year.

Ron: Forget the World Cup! These are cartoon characters we're looking at here! All season, these guys have gotten away with stuff that no live-action human players would ever get away with... ever!

Harry: Anyway, I don't know about you guys, but I, for one, really don't know who to pick! Both of these guys are top teams, all of their characters are very similar... man, I-I just don't know who to pick!

Michaels: Anyway, let's see the teams now; first, your American Conference champions, the New England Griffins!

...

**On cue, the New England Griffins fly up from outside of the stadium; their fans cheer loudly for them and the fireworks are shot from the center of the pitch. The Griffins wave and show off to their fans, then they get to their positions on the pitch as their fans cheer them on one more time.**

**...**

Michaels: And now, presenting their opponents, your National Conference champions... the Portland Parselmouths.

...

**The Portland Parselmouths all fly up from the other side of their stadiums, inciting a wave of ruckus cheers from their fans that are in the crowd. More fireworks are shot up from the center of the pitch as the Parselmouths show off to their fans and assume their positions.**

**...**

** When the referee believes that both teams are ready and at full strength, the Bludgers are released, and they fly to an adjacent part of the pitch where none of the players can see them. The Golden Snitch is turned loose right after them, and it too flies to where none of the players can see it.**

** When all of that is taken care of, the referee takes the Quaffle in both hands, walks to the center of the pitch with it, takes some time to take in the moment, and then tosses the Quaffle up high in to the air.**

Michaels: Here we go, boys! The Potter Bowl is officially underway!

**For a good while after the game starts, the two teams squabble over the Quaffle at the center of the pitch. It goes back and forth between the teams, with neither one seeming to have the upper hand.**

** Then;**

Michaels: Look like it's Bart Simpson who has the Quaffle!

Bart: Eat my shorts, Parselmouths!

**Eventually, Bart Simpson comes up with the Quaffle for the Portland Parselmouths. He then passes it to his sister Lisa just as he evades a Bludger that was hit by Peter Griffin.**

** Neither Lois, Meg, nor Brian Griffin can catch Lisa Simpson has she makes her way to the New England goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Glenn Quagmire!

Lisa: Oh damn, I missed!

Quagmire: Oh, you little girls are so hot when you're frustrated. Giggity!

**Glenn Quagmire catches the Quaffle before it goes through the hoop, thus preventing the Portland Parselmouths from scoring a goal. After smirking at Lisa for a second, Quagmire throws the Quaffle back in to play with authority.**

** It is Lois Griffin who comes up with the Quaffle for the New England Griffins. A Bludger starts in her direction just as soon as she catches the ball, but her son Chris Griffin deals with it, hitting it toward the far side of the stadium.**

** Then, just as Lois makes it to the Parselmouth's side of the pitch, Marge Simpson comes out of nowhere from her 9-o'clock, heading right for her as if she is trying to t-bone her...**

Michaels: And we have a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Madden: Yeah, it did look for a second like Marge Simpson was gonna run right in to Lois Griffin just then-

Hermione: This is gonna be a Blatching call against the Parselmouths!

**The penalty whistle is blown just before Marge can run in to Lois, stopping all of the action on the pitch. Then, the referee proceeds with the call;**

Referee: Blatching. Portland, #38. Penalty shot for New England!

Marge: Oh, that is bogus! I didn't even hit that ginger!

Lois: But you were going to, you freakin' bitch!

**Marge Simpson gets slapped with a Blatching penalty, and Lois Griffin volunteers to take the penalty shot. Homer Simpson will defend...**

Michaels: She SCORES! 10 points to the New England Griffins!

Homer: D'oh!

Lois: YYEAH!

Peter: That was freakin' sweet, Lois! (kisses Lois)

Lois: (giggles) Oh, Peter!

**Lois Griffin scores on the penalty shot, putting the New England Griffins on the board with a 10-0 lead over the Portland Parselmouths.**

** Homer Simpson reluctantly throws the Quaffle back in to play after the goal, where it is then caught by his daughter Lisa.**

** But before Lisa can make it in to the New England scoring area, Brian Griffin pops up from underneath her and wrenches the Quaffle right out from her arms.**

Lisa: Hey get back here, you stupid dog!

Brian: (scoff)

**But then, before Brian Griffin can make it in to the New England scoring area, Nelson Muntz hits a Bludger in his direction...**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Nelson: HA HA!

Joe: Whoa, timeout!

**Nelson Muntz's Bludger hits Brian Griffin in the head; he drops the Quaffle as he is knocked off of his broom, being sent face-first in to the ground with a thud. Joe Swanson, coach of the New England Griffins, is forced to call timeout. He and the rest of his team fly down to where Brian fell to, to check up on him;**

Peter: You okay, buddy?

Brian: (staggers to his feet, panting) Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm alright.

Quagmire: (muttering under his breath) Unfortunately.

Joe: Alright, guys. LETS'S DO IT!

**Brian and his teammates remount on their brooms, the timeout is called off, and the game is resumed. Shortly thereafter...**

Michaels: **Golden Snitch for the New England Griffins. But shortly after he picks up the chase, Milhouse Van Houten also takes up the chase for his team, the Portland Parselmouths. After a little bit of jockeying for position, Stewie locks his broom handle with Milhouse's...**

Michaels: And that's a penalty whistle going off.

Madden: It did look like Stewie locked with Milhouse's broom, maybe he was trying to steer him off-course?

Hermione: Either way, this'll be a Blurting on New England!

**Before Stewie can do anything about Milhouse, the penalty whistle goes off. The referee's call;**

Referee: Blurting. New England, #08. Penalty shot for Portland!

Stewie: What the deuce? That is bullcrap!

**Stewie Griffin gets hit with a Blurting penalty; Lisa Simpson volunteers to take the penalty shot for the Portland Parselmouths. Glenn Quagmire will defend, although right now, he's too busy ogling Marge Simpson...**

Michaels: SCORE! We're tied at 10!

Quagmire: Damn!

Lisa: WOO-HOO!

Bart: High-five, sis!

Both: Yeah!

**Lisa Simpson's goal ties the game at 10. Glenn Quagmire throws the Quaffle back in to play; Meg Griffin catches it for the Griffins.**

** Moe Szyslak hits a Bludger at Meg, but Chris Griffin hits it right back. Bart and Lisa both double-team her to try and get the Quaffle back, but they both come up short. From there, Meg eases her way in to the Portland scoring area;**

Michaels: Meg Griffin SCORES! New England takes the lead!

Meg: WOO-HOO!

Homer: D'OH!

**Meg Griffin's goal puts the Griffins ahead of the Parselmouths 20-10. Homer Simpson angrily throws the Quaffle back in to play for it to be caught by his son Bart.**

And just like that, Stewie Griffin is after the Golden Snitch...

Madden: And Milhouse Van Houten is after it as well!

Harry: Yep, and there they go. They are going at it!

Hermione: Oh, I hope Stewie doesn't pull his blaster out again!

Ron: That's because if and when he does, the Parselmouths will be royally screwed.

**Sometime just after the game is brought back underway, Stewie Griffin starts out after the **

** That's when Peter Griffin hits a Bludger at Bart;**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Burns: Timeout! TIMEOUT, I say!

**Peter Griffin's Bludger hits Bart in the head, forcing the Quaffle out of his hands as he falls off his broom and hits the ground. Charles Montgomery Burns, coach of the Portland Parselmouths, calls timeout. Immediately, the rest of the team flies down to check up on Bart;**

Marge: Oh, my poor Bart!

Lisa: You okay, bro?

Bart: (thumbs-up)

Burns: Alright, guys; get that Snitch, do whatever you gotta do to win this. I don't wanna have to "release the hounds," on the other team. So uh, let's do it.

**With that, the team remounts, the timeout is terminated, and the game gets back underway.**

** ...**

Michaels: Stewie Griffin's after the Snitch again!

Madden: Yeah, but it doesn't look like Milhouse is in the picture this time...

Harry: Looks like New England may pull it off here...

**After the timeout, Stewie Griffin once again sets out after the Quaffle for the New England Griffins. This time, though, he seems to be in the clear from Milhouse Van Houten. Just as it seems like he's about to catch the Snitch;**

Madden: What the-

Michaels: Moe Szyslak has a shotgun- OH MY GOD, HE'S SHOOTING AT STEWIE!

Moe: You won't be stealin' this game from us!

Hermione: Somebody take that gun away from him before he kills that baby!

**Moe Szyslak suddenly pulls out his shotgun and fires multiple shots at Stewie. But fortunately for Stewie, Moe is having a difficult time aiming the gun and staying on his broom at the same time, so he misses Stewie each time he shoots.**

** Eventually, Moe runs out of ammo and is forced to give up.**

** However, soon after Moe stops shooting at Stewie...**

Michaels: Looks like Milhouse Van Houten is back in the picture!

Madden: If Stewie Griffin pulls out his gun, this game is over.

**Milhouse Van Houten appears right beside Stewie Griffin, and once again, they are both going at it for the Golden Snitch. The two rivals constantly ram in to each other, trying to steer each other off course and out of the Snitch hunt. Then, with the Snitch right in front of them both, they both reach out their hands, both of their fingertips coming up to the Snitch...**

Michaels: They've both got it – who got it first?

Madden: It's too close to call! TOO CLOSE TO CALL!

Ron: Well... who the bloody hell touched it first?

Hermione: We'll have to see who it responds to in order to find out.

Harry: Oh boy, this is gonna be tense..!

**Both Stewie and Milhouse get their hands on the Snitch and catch it. You'd think that this would result in a tie, but there is a way of determining who caught it first – the Golden Snitch remembers the touch of the first person who caught it.**

** So, as Stewie and Milhouse both crash to the ground with both of their hands on the Snitch, the referee and the other players gather around to see who the Potter Bowl champions are. The ref orders both Seekers to release the Snitch to see who it flies to... whoever it flies to is the winner. And when the Snitch is released from the Seeker's hands, it flies to...**

Madden: IT'S STEWIE GRIFFIN! STEWIE GRIFFIN!

Michaels: THE NEW ENGLAND GRIFFINS ARE POTTER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

...

Stewie: (gasp) YES! VICTORY IS MINE!

Lois: You did it, Stewie!

Peter: WE'VE WON THE FREAKIN' POTTER BOWL!

Quagmire: ALRIGHT!

Griffins: (hysterical indistinct cheering)

**The Golden Snitch flies to Stewie Griffin, indicating that he was the first to touch it. Thus, the New England Griffins defeat the Portland Parselmouths 170-10, winning the Potter Bowl and becoming the WLCQ champions.**

** The Griffins fans in the Rio crowd go absolutely electric at the sight of their team's victory being confirmed. The Griffins themselves go equally electric. But then...**

Burns: Smithers! RELEASE THE FLYING HOUNDS!

Smithers: YES SIR!

...

Peter: Holy crap! Flying hounds!

Lois: RUN! FLY AWAY!

**As an act of empty revenge, C.M. Burns, coach of the Portland Parselmouths, releases his flying hounds (hounds on broomsticks) on the Griffins. The Griffins' elation turns to fright as they suddenly find themselves flying away from Smithers' hounds, who chase after them. This chase goes all the way around the stadium. Stewie shoots at them with his laser blaster, but he misses. Then, the Griffins fly out of the stadium, with the hounds following.**

** A hush falls upon the crowd in Rio. The Portland Parselmouths are equally speechless. They have no comment on the releasing of the hounds – it doesn't matter, now that they've lost the Potter Bowl, killing their championship hopes. Without a word, they retreat to the locker room, hanging their heads and shedding tears from their eyes...**

**...**

** Well, that about wraps up the WLCQ season... almost. We still have one more game left – the All-Star Game! That will be held in Honolulu, Hawaii. Stay tuned!**


	70. The Wedding

I have another side story before we get to the All-Star game;

In the Potter Bowl party the day before, Seto Kaiba and Serenity Wheeler said that their wedding was to be the day after the game – and so it shall be. That's why this side story is set on the Monday afternoon after the game, at a giant United Methodist Church in Las Vegas, where the wedding is to be held.

By this point in time, the guests have already been seated, which is remarkable considering how many there are; everyone from every team in the World League of Cartoon Quidditch is attending this wedding. At the very front are most of the members of the Kyoto Kappa; Yugi Moto, Tristan Taylor, Tea Gardner, Mai Valentine and Maximillion Pegasus, as well as some friends and relations of the team, including Yugi's mother and grandfather Solomon, Serenity and Joey's mother, Rebecca Hawkins, Rebecca's grandfather Arthur, and Duke Devlin.

Meanwhile, in the room past the altar, is the groom, Seto Kaiba, fully decked out in his tuxedo. There with him is his little brother Mokuba, and his best man Joey Wheeler, who is also the brother of the bride, Serenity. Right now, Mokuba is, figuratively speaking, bouncing off the walls;

"Oh man, this is so awesome!" Mokuba is saying. "My big brother's getting married; oh my God, I can't wait!"

"Whoa, take it easy there, Mokuba!" replies Joey. "You're sounding like a retarded teenage girl on crack."

"Well, I thought you'd feel the same way about your sister being married," Mokuba rebukes.

"Honestly, I was afraid that Serenity and I were gonna drift apart because of this; that's why I was so uptight about it," Joey explains. "But I'm cool with it now."

Hearing this, Seto Kaiba turns to his best man and smiles, "Well, you do have Mai, you may not be getting married right now, but that kind of does make the two of you even, heh heh."

At that point, Mokuba can't hold his tongue any longer; "Seriously, how come I'm not your best man, man?"

"Mokuba, I love you," replies Kaiba, "but you're way too young. Joey's old enough, and he's my soon-to-be brother-in-law, so I trust him."

"Thanks, dude!" smiles Joey.

At this point, they're called out to the altar. Mokuba sits down with the rest of his teammates while Kaiba takes his place standing at the front of the altar, with Joey standing beside him.

Meanwhile, in a room adjacent to the other side of the altar, is the bride, Serenity Wheeler, fully decked in a white, strapless wedding dress. There with her is her father, who's particularly looking forward to this marriage;

"Let me the first to say how smart of a move you've made by marrying this man," he applauds his daughter. "Think about it; you're marrying this rich jackoff, who'll give you anything you want, whenever you want it! And if you end up divorcing him, you'll take half his money and become rich yourself! Ha!"

"Hey, that's a horrible thing to say!" Serenity snaps. "I'm marrying Kaiba because I love him – I'd still love him even if he was poor as dirt. Isn't that the most important reason for marriage?"

"Hmmm... yeah, I guess you're right," her father shrugs. "I guess what I'm trying to say is – whatever your motives are for this marriage, I approve of it regardless."

"Thanks, Dad," Serenity says as she hugs her father.

...

Shortly thereafter, the ceremony is set to proceed. As the string quartet plays "Here Comes the Bride," Serenity walks down the altar with pride, with her father at her side. Seto Kaiba stands at the altar with a huge smile on his face, looking at her soon-to-be wife as she approaches. Then, he whispers to Joey, "Don't worry, I'll treat her right. You, uh, best do the same with Mai, okay buddy?"

"I will," Joey happily whispers back.

At this point, Serenity arrives at the altar in front of Kaiba. Her father takes his seat with the rest of the Kyoto Kappa. Then, the guests fall silent as the pastor starts his piece;

"Friends, we are gathered together in the sight of God to witness and bless the joining together of Seto Kaiba and Serenity Wheeler in Christian marriage. The covenant of marriage was established by God, who created us male and female for each other. With his presence and power Jesus graced a wedding at Cana of Galilee, and in his sacrificial love gave us the example of the love for husband and wife. Seto and Serenity come to give themselves to one other in this holy covenant."

The pastor then turns to the couple, "I ask you now, in the presence of God and his people, to declare your intention to enter into union with each other through the grace of Jesus Christ, who calls you into union with himself." To Serenity, he says, "Serenity, will you have Seto, to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long you both shall live?" Serenity smiles and says, "I will."

The pastor then turns to Kaiba; "Seto, will you have Serenity, to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long you both shall live?" And Kaiba says, "I will."

With that, the pastor directs his attention to the Kyoto Kappa and their family and friends, saying, "The marriage of Seto and Serenity unites their families and creates a new one. Do you who represent their families rejoice in their union and pray God's blessing upon them?" The Kappa reply, "We do."

Then, the pastor says to all the Quidditch teams, "Will all of you, by God's grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two persons in their marriage?" All of the teams say, "We will."

"Let us pray," says the pastor. Everyone bows their heads and closes their eyes as the pastor prays, "Eternal God, Creator and preserver of all life, Author of salvation, Giver of all grace: Bless and sanctify with your Holy Spirit Seto, and Serenity, who come now to join in marriage. Grant that they may give their vows to each other in the strength of your steadfast love. Enable them to grow in love and peace with you and with one another all their days, that they may reach out in concern and service to the world; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Then, Kaiba receives Serenity's hands and states his vows; "In the Name of God, I, Seto, take you, Serenity, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. "

Serenity then receives Kaiba's hands and says, "In the Name of God, I, Serenity, take you, Seto, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. "

The pastor then holds up the wedding rings, saying, "These rings are the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace, signifying to all the uniting of Seto, and Serenity, in holy marriage."

"Let us pray." Everyone bows their heads and closes their eyes as the pastor prays, "Bless, O Lord, the giving of these rings, that they who wear them may live in your peace and continue in

your favor all the days of their life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. "

With that, Kaiba takes a ring and puts it on Serenity's finger, saying, "Serenity, I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Serenity then takes the other ring and puts in on Kaiba's finger, saying, "Seto, I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

The unity candle is then lit. Kaiba and Serenity then join hands as the pastor declares, "You have declared your consent and vows before God and this congregation. May God confirm your covenant and fill you both with grace. Now that Seto, and Serenity, have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands, the giving and receiving of rings, and the lighting of the unity candle, I announce to you that they are husband and wife; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder. Amen."

The pastor then turns to God; "Most Gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in making us a covenant people through our Savior Jesus Christ and for consecrating in his name the marriage covenant of Seto, and Serenity**.** Grant that their love for each other may reflect the love of Christ for us and grow from strength to strength as they faithfully serve you in the world. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their heads. Bless them in their working and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their lives and in their deaths. Finally, by your grace, bring them and all of us to that table where your saints feast for ever in your Heavenly home; Through your Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, forever and ever. Amen."

Turning to Kaiba and Serenity, he says, "God the Eternal keep you in love with each other, so that the peace of Christ may abide in your home. Go to serve God and your neighbor in all that you do."

The pastor then says to the guests; "Bear witness to the love of God in this world, so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in you generous friends. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all." The guests say, "Amen."

And then comes the moment everyone has been waiting for; the pastor turns to Kaiba and Serenity and says, "The peace of the Lord be with you always. You may kiss." And so Kaiba and Serenity kiss, locking lips for about 5 seconds as the guests applaud.

As the applause dies down, the pastor announces, "Brothers and sisters in Christ, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Kaiba!" That's when Serenity interrupts, "Uh, actually, Seto and I agreed that I could keep my maiden name."

And the pastor shrugs, "OK, well either way, praise God for this holy matrimony!"

...

Much later, the dinner is going on. While many of the guests are eating, there are also numerous couples dancing on the dancefloor; including couples from the New England Griffins, Portland Parselmouths, Philadelphia Thestrals, Louisville Phantoms, New Orleans Dark Mark, Tampa Bay Trolls, Milwaukee Death Eaters, Kansas City Inferi, Washington Ministry, Richmond Werewolves, New York Dragons, Los Angeles Undead, Denver Dementors, Dallas Hippogriffs, Arizona Phoenixes, San Francisco Seers, Rome Fairies, Toulouse Sphinxes, Toronto Salamanders, Montreal Manticores, Vancouver Grindylows, Mexico City Chupacabras and Tokyo Tengu (actually, this one is a harem), as well as some couples from the Kyoto Kappa, including Yugi and Tea, Joey and Mai, and of course, the couple of the hour, Kaiba and Serenity.

I think it's fair that we focus on the latter three couples; the ones from the Kappa. First, we go to Yugi and Tea. As they dance around, Tea says, "Boy, I hope Joey's taking it better than he was before."

"I talked to him this morning," Yugi explains, "and he said he came around. Being the best man probably had something to do with it."

"Actually," replies Tea, "I talked to Serenity, and she said that Joey was worried that she and him would drift apart because of this, but apparently, they'll still be close."

"Well, they are siblings after all," Yugi shrugs. "And Tea, this reminds me; I don't want to get you too excited this soon, but... you and I may get married – someday."

"Aw, Yugi!" blushes Tea as she kisses him on the lips."

Meanwhile, Joey and Mai are also dancing around. Mai says, "Now you're absolutely sure that you're okay with this marriage?"

"Positive," replies Joey. "As far as I'm concerned, my little sis is in good hands. I mean, come on; she just married a rich jackass, why wouldn't she be, you know?"

"That's true," shrugs Mai. She then cups Joey's face in her hands and reassures him, "And I'm 100% certain that you and Serenity will remain close as siblings; you should have nothing to worry about. But, if you do end up drifting apart, just remember that I'll always be here for you. Even if you two do remain close, I'll still be here for you. I love you, Joey!"

"I love you too, Mai!" Joey blushes as Mai kisses him.

And now we look at the newly married couple, Kaiba and Serenity, who are waltzing around on the center of the floor. "So where are we gonna go from here?" Serenity asks her new husband.

"We should definitely stay in Hawaii after the All-Star game," answers Kaiba. "That can be our honeymoon."

"Oooh, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii!" Serenity exclaims. Then she says in a more serious tone, "Hey, I know this is too soon, but maybe sometime during the off-season, you and me could add to what we have, perhaps with a bundle of joy, if you know what I mean?"

This renders Kaiba speechless. He just awkwardly stares into Serenity's smiling face for a moment, then he says, "Gee, that's a huge responsibility. You and I should think and talk more about it during the off-season, then you should decide. If you say you want it, I'm more than willing to give it to you. If not, that's okay. Either way, I'll always love you with all my heart."

"Oh, Kaiba!" smiles Serenity as she kisses her new husband.

...

In time, the dinner is over. Joey Wheeler, the best man, then walks up to the podium in front of the entire congregation – meaning the entire World League of Cartoon Quidditch, as he is expected to give a speech. When everyone quiets down, he says;

"Evening, you guys, and thanks for coming. For those of you who don't know me, I'm the best man, Joey Wheeler. I'm Serenity's older brother, and I play as Chaser for the Kyoto Kappa alongside Kaiba; he plays as Beater with his brother, Mokuba. Speaking of the Kappa, I just have to thank our team, and all of our family and friends for making this whole thing possible!"

Everyone applauds the Kappa. Then Joey continues, "Now, I know a lot of you teams don't give a rat's ass about us, and are only here for the free food, so try not to make a scene – I'm talking to you, New England Griffins! By the way, let's hear it for our Potter Bowl champions!"

The New England Griffins take their bow as everyone, for the most part, applauds them.

Then, Joey speaks, "Now, about Kaiba. I first met him back when we were going around, playing that card game Duel Monsters. Truth be told, we did not get along. Sure, he was technically one of the "good guys," but he had his own way of working for the greater good, and wanted nothing to do with our "dork squad," as he called us. Even after we got on the same page, he didn't want to be too friendly with us.

"Which leads me to my sister, Serenity. Me and her were separated when we were young, but we stayed in contact over the years, and that made things somewhat easier for me. In fact, she was my biggest inspiration throughout my travels."

This incites an "Aww!" from everyone. Then Joey continues, "But anyway, back to Kaiba. He didn't really associate with us until we formed the Kyoto Kappa. I'm still not sure how he came to be on our team – it just happened, I guess. Knowing him, he did seem to be very lonely, even though he could've leaned on any on our shoulders, being our teammate and all. And knowing my sis, and how sweet and kind she is, looking back on that, I probably should've known that this couple was inevitable, heh heh!"

"But actually, I wasn't too crazy about it at first – I'll tell you why in a minute. Anyway, I still remember back to right before Week 19. We were set to play our next-door rivals, the Osaka Oni. We were discussing team strategy with each other when Kaiba and Serenity broke in... and announced that they were getting married. Kaiba's brother Mokuba was hysterically happy... I was not. And the reason why – I was honestly afraid that me and Serenity would drift apart... again."

Another "Aww!" comes from everyone as Joey speaks, "But we talked about it and we're planning on staying close, so I'm not worried. Besides, I think she's married well – I mean, come on! Isn't it obvious? Kaiba's dirty rotten filthy stinkin' rich!"

Everyone laughs hysterically at this remark. Then Joey breaks in, "Just kidding! But seriously, like I said before, Kaiba always seemed like a really lonely guy, even when we were with him – alone in the crowd, so to speak. And now that I think back to how Serenity's been there for me whenever she could be, I think Kaiba made the right choice for someone to rid him of his loneliness.

"And for those of you wondering about me, her brother, the answer is yes, I happen to have someone who loves me, and I love her back. Let's hear it for my girl, Mai Valentine!"

Everyone applauds for Mai as she waves to them. Then Joey says, "But – but, this is not about us. This is about Kaiba and Serenity. So let's raise our glasses to them now! And guys; just so you know, I, someday, hope to have with Mai what you two have with each other – I think we all should. So, uh, cheers!"

Everyone raises their glasses to the new couple. The festivities then continue on for awhile after that, with nothing big happening. Then, Kaiba and Serenity leave the church in the limo that's been waiting for them. All the other Quidditch teams wave them goodbye, and then they leave the church in their team buses...


	71. All-Star Game (Prologue)

**Well, the Potter Bowl may be over, and we may have already crowned our champions, but we still have one game left – the All-Star Game!**

** It will be held in Honolulu, Hawaii. Since the American and National Conferences were the ones whose teams made it to the Potter Bowl, they will be the ones represented in this game. Players from different teams will band together to duke it out to determine which conference is superior.**

** And now that you know the basic jist of it, let's turn things over to FOX one more time;**

(FOX NFL Theme)

Michaels: Well, the season's over, but the action? Not quite. We're here in beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii for the WLCQ All-Star Game, in which we get to see players from all sorts of teams band together to determine which conference is the superior one. Thanks for joining us, I'm Al Michaels with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Now let me explain; there are three conferences total, so one of them is bound to be left out. The way we determine which two get represented in the All-Star Game is by which ones get their teams in the Potter Bowl. In that case, that was the American Conference with the New England Griffins, and the National Conference with the Portland Parselmouths, so that's who will be represented in this game.

Hermione: You know what; I'm actually pretty excited about this game! I mean sure, we'll probably see some crazy powers and nasty hits, but I still think it's cool that we get to see all these players from all these different games come together like this.

Ron: Well, I agree with you on that, but still, I'd love to see what sort of tricks these guys will have up their sleeves.

Harry: Yeah, I hear there are a few characters with some crazy powers that will be in this game, so I guess we'll wait and see.

Michaels: Anyway, let's go down to the pitch...

...

Stadium Announcer: And now, presenting our American Conference all-stars!

Crowd: (cheering)

Stadium Announcer: Their Chasers; first, representing the Seattle Vampires, #55, Master Shake!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Representing the Louisville Phantoms, #16, Danny Phantom.

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And representing the New England Griffins, #8, Brian Griffin!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Beaters; first, representing the Denver Dementors, #14, Eric Cartman!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And representing the Birmingham War Pigs, #66, Nathan Explosion!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Keeper; representing the Washington Ministry, #36, Stan Smith!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Seeker; representing the Philadelphia Thestrals, #4, Wallabee Beetles!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And their coach, representing the Columbus Pixies, Jorgen Von Strangle!

Crowd: (cheering)

...

Stadium Announcer: And now, presenting your National Conference all-stars!

Crowd: (cheering)

Stadium Announcer: Their Chasers; first, representing the Dallas Hippogriffs, #50, Dale Gribble!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Representing the Tampa Bay Trolls, #24, Jonny 2X4!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And representing the Detroit Unicorns, #20, Rainbow Dash!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Beaters; first, representing the Chicago Fire Crabs, #60, Squidward Tentacles!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And representing the San Francisco Seers, #73, Prince Zuko!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Keeper; representing the Oklahoma Orcs, #75, Marceline the Vampire Queen!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: Their Seeker; representing the New Orleans Dark Mark, #89, Beastboy!

Crowd: (applause)

Stadium Announcer: And their coach, representing the Portland Parselmouths, Charles Montgomery Burns!

Crowd: (cheering)

...

**When everyone has been introduced, and when they're all in their positions, the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch are turned loose, and they fly elsewhere.**

** Then, the referee takes hold of the Quaffle, walks to the center of the pitch, and tosses it straight upwards...**


	72. All-Star Game

Michaels: The Quaffle is released, and the All-Star game begins!

**The two all-star teams start to squabble over the Quaffle, with neither side having the advantage at first. But in time, Rainbow Dash comes up with it for the National Conference all-stars.**

** A Bludger heads in her direction, but Squidward Tentacles hits it at Brian Griffin and Master Shake, forcing them both to back off. Danny Phantom is not within range to try and steal the Quaffle, either. And so, with that taken care of, Rainbow Dash makes her approach on the American Conference goal;**

Michaels: SAVED by Stan Smith!

Rainbow Dash: Hey, no fair!

Stan: If you don't like it, then get the hell out of our country!

Madden: Now what Rainbow Dash did here was she focused on sheer speed without using any of her brains. Sure, she was lightning quick, but in her haste, she ended up shooting right at the hoop that Stan Smith was in front of, and he denies the National Conference the goal.

**Much to Rainbow Dash's shock, Stan Smith keeps the shot from going through the hoop. After making the save, he throws the Quaffle back in to play, and it is picked up my Master Shake.**

** Zuko hits a Bludger at Shake, but he dodges it and passes the Quaffle to Brian Griffin. Brian then passes it to Danny Phantom after being double-teamed by Dale Gribble and Jonny 2X4. Danny is in the clear, so he easily makes it to the National Conference goal;**

Michaels: Danny SCORES! 10 points to the American Conference!

Danny: YES! Yeah!

Marceline: Damn ghost boy!

Ron: Man, with Danny Phantom on their team, I really think the American Conference will be bloody unstoppable!

Hermione: Then how do you explain the fact that the Louisville Phantoms were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs?

All: …

**Danny Phantom's goal puts the American Conference in a 10-0 lead. Marceline the Vampire Queen then throws the Quaffle back in to play. Jonny 2X4 gains possession for the National Conference All-Stars.**

Jonny: Plank says we're gonna score a goal this time.

**Jonny then gets rushed at by Master Shake, so he passes the Quaffle to Dale Gribble before he has the chance to get his hands on it. However, Shake catches right up to Dale, who starts to frantically fly up, down, and every-which-way on his broom, trying to shake Rainbow Dash off of him, but to no avail.**

** Prince Zuko sees this unfold, and decides that he should help his teammate. Using his pyrokinetic powers, he conjures up a fireball with his hands, and waits for the right moment. When he gets that moment, he hurls this fireball right at Master Shake…**

All: OH!

Michaels: Master Shake is on fire!

Shake: AAAA! HELP ME!

Jorgen: Timeout, I say!

Hermione: What the hell was Prince Zuko thinking, pulling something like that?

**Prince Zuko's fireball scores a direct hit on Master Shake. He's knocked off his broom, and both the broom and him slam to the ground. Jorgen von Strangle, coach of the American Conference all-stars, is forced to call timeout.**

**The broom is okay, but Master Shake himself is set aflame; he frantically rolls on the ground trying to put them out;**

Jorgen: Aguamenti!

…

**Jorgen von Strangle uses a Water-Conjuring charm to put out the flames. Master Shake then takes a few minutes to recuperate.**

Jorgen: You okay there, Shake?

Shake: (panting) Yeah. (panting) I think so.

Jorgen: Okay, good. Now get back on your brooms. All of you. And let's win this stupid game!

**Master Shake is able to get up and find his broom, still in one piece. He remounts, then the rest of the American Conference all-stars follow suit; the timeout is terminated, and the game gets back underway.**

** Rainbow Dash gets possession of the Quaffle right after the timeout is called off. She passes it to Dale Gribble before Danny Phantom can steal it away from them. Eric Cartman then hits a Bludger at Dale; he dodges it and then passes the Quaffle to Jonny 2X4. From there, Jonny manages to outfly both Brian Griffin and Master Shake on his way to the American Conference scoring area;**

Michaels: Jonny scores, and we are tied at 10!

Stan: Damn, I can't believe I let it go!

Jonny: Yes! Plank says that was an awesome shot!

Ron: Man, I would've thought that Stan Smith would've saved it, being a CIA agent and all.

Harry: Hmmm…

**Jonny 2X4's goal ties the game at 10. Meanwhile…**

Michaels: Hey, look at this; we have a battle for the Snitch!

Madden: Yep. Beastboy and Wally Beetles are going at it!

Harry: I'm just waiting for Beastboy to take on one of his animal forms…

Ron: Yeah, then Wally will be screwed.

**Right about now, Beastboy and Wally Beetles are both chasing after the Golden Snitch for their respective teams. They both ram in to each other with their brooms, trying to take away each other's momentum, but neither Seeker gives an inch…**

** Brian Griffin then gets the Quaffle for the American Conference. But just as he makes it to the opposing team's side of the pitch, Jonny 2X4 pops up and snatches the Quaffle away.**

Brian: What the-

Jonny: HA! Plank says dogs suck!

**However, before Jonny can do anything with the Quaffle;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

…

Michaels: Uh oh, Danny just turned invisible…

Madden: And the Quaffle just came out of Jonny 2X4's hands, and it's going the other way!

Hermione: That is just plain unfair!

**Danny Phantom goes ghost and takes the Quaffle from Jonny 2X4, confusing him and everyone else what's going on. Still invisible, he heads to the National Conference goal…**

Michaels: It just went through the goal, and the American Conference now leads 20-10.

Marceline: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?

Danny: Heh heh heh!

**Danny Phantom throws the Quaffle through the goal, putting the American Conference up 20-10. As he re-materializes, Marceline throws the Quaffle back in to play.**

**Rainbow Dash catches it for the National Conference. Nathan Explosion unsuccessfully hit a Bludger at her; other than that, she receives no opposition. But then, when she gets to the American Conference goal, Stan Smith pulls his 9mm glock…**

Michaels: Oh, and Rainbow Dash's broom has been shot from under her-

Harry: Wait, she's still flying! She's flying by herself with no broom!

…

Madden: And she's SCORED! SHE SCORES!

Ron: Bloody hell, and she didn't even have a broom!

Stan: Urrgh!

Rainbow Dash: How ya like that, you bible-thumpin' xenophobe?

**With his 9mm, Stan Smith shoots Rainbow Dash's broom out from under her. However, she is able to fly without support, and is even able to score a goal, tying the game at 20.**

** Stan, while in utter shock, is still able to throw the Quaffle back into play; Brian Griffin catches it.**

…

** Meanwhile, Beastboy and Wally Beetles are still going at it for the Golden Snitch. By now, they are both considering taking drastic measures. That's when Beastboy does this;**

Madden: What the-

Michaels: HE'S TRANSFORMED INTO A VELOCIRAPTOR!

Beastboy: (growling)

Hermione: I don't even wanna imagine what the hell he's gonna do to Wally!

**Using his animal transformation abilities, Beastboy transforms himself into a Velociraptor, as he is hellbent on taking Wally out. However, just as he tries to lash out with his sickle-claw;**

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Michaels: He's kicked Beastboy right in the face, and there he goes, off of his broom!

Hermione: Well, at least Wally saved his ass from being mauled.

Ron: Yeah, and he may've just won the game!

**Wally Beetles kicks Beastboy in the face before he can slash at him. Beastboy is knocked off his broom, hitting the ground hard. This opens the door for Wally…**

Wally: YES! I got it!

Michaels: Wally Beetles has the Golden Snitch! American Conference wins!

Hermione: Man, I was afraid Wally was gonna get killed by that Beastboy!

Harry: He defeated a Velociraptor AND he won a Quidditch game! How many kids can say that?

**Wally Beetles catches the Golden Snitch, winning the game for the American Conference all-stars, 170-20.**

** The fans go in an uproar. Wally Beetles cheers wildly for the win, as do his teammates. Meanwhile the National Conference all-stars retreat to the locker room – well, most of 'em;**

Burns: Smithers, RELEASE THE FLYING HOUNDS!

Smithers: YES SIR!

…

Shake: AAH! HOUNDS! FLY AWAY!

**Charles Montgomery Burns releases his flying hounds on the American Conference all-stars, chasing them all the way around the stadium. Danny Phantom launches energy blasts at them and Stan Smith shoots at them with his pistol, but they both miss. Then;**

Jorgen: Confringo!

…

Burns: MY HOUNDS!

Jorgen: Want some for yourself, eh?

Burns: (backs away)

Jorgen: That's what I thought!

**Jorgen von Strangle uses a Blasting Curse on the hounds; the resulting explosion literally blows them to bits. The crowd gasps as blood, guts and bones fly everywhere, lying scattered all over the field. Mr. Burns, needless to say, is petrified. All he can do is back away before Jorgen can do the same to him…**

…

** Well, that wraps up the Quidditch action for this season! However, I do have a couple more chapters left, so stay tuned for those…**


	73. After-Party

There are no more games to be played in this Quidditch season – however, I do have one more side story!

This one is set on the Monday afternoon after the All-Star game, in Barrington, Rhode Island, a small town outside of Providence, the home of the Potter Bowl champs, the New England Griffins. As of late, Providence has been overrun with rabid Quidditch fans running up and down the streets, alleys, and everywhere else, celebrating their team's Potter Bowl victory. And the Griffins have been constantly ambushed by these loyal fans, as well as the media, trying to get their every last single little thought on the big win.

That there is one of two reasons why the Griffins are spending the day in Barrington; the other is that they have decided to host a small post-season after-party of their own;

By some fluke, they just happened to stumble across a big swimming pool set up in a grassy area, and this is where they've decided to host the after-party. The pool also has a big hot tub. In the grassy area around the pool, a myriad of sprinklers have been set up for the kids to run through.

And these are the teams that the New England Griffins have invited to their after-party; the Portland Parselmouths, Tampa Bay Trolls, Philadelphia Thestrals, Louisville Phantoms, New Orleans Dark Mark, Milwaukee Death Eaters, Detroit Unicorns, Tokyo Tengu and Kyoto Kappa (except for Seto Kaiba; he and new wife Serenity Wheeler are on their honeymoon in Hawaii).

Right now, the New England Griffins have taken up the entire hot tub, as they are the champions.

"Ah, this is nice, isn't it, guys?" Lois says to her teammates.

"Yeah," replies her husband Peter. "We're Potter Bowl champions and we get to rub it in these losers' faces, heh heh heh!"

…

You know what, they may be the champs, but let's take some looks at the other characters;

Right now, playing around in the sprinklers, is Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten of the Portland Parselmouths, along with the Philadelphia Thestrals (except for Cree – she's on the pool deck). All the kids are playing tag through the sprinklers – Bart is it. He was going after his sister Lisa, but now has Wally Beetles in his cross-hairs. All the kids laugh joyfully as they run through the sprinklers; the cool water soothes their skin the hot, humid weather. That's when Bart manages to tackle Wally to the wet grass.

"Ha ha, you're it!" Bart teases. "No tagbacks!"

"Oh yeah?" retorts Wally. He manages to overpower Bart and fall on top of him. But then, Bart takes hold of Wally, and the two boys start tumbling about the grass together, laughing with glee all the way. While everyone else keeps running through the sprinklers, Lisa and Kuki take notice of Bart and Wally messing around, and can't help but smile.

"Aw, look at that!" says Lisa. "Our boys are getting along!"

"Yeah, they certainly are cute together," replies Kuki. "I just love Wally so much! And I for one think you're really lucky to have Bart as a brother!"

"He certainly does make my life interesting," chuckles Lisa.

Eventually, Bart and Wally tire out, and are lying on the grass beside each other, trying to catch each other's breath. Lisa and Kuki go to help them to their feet; right after they do, Lisa pulls her brother in for a big hug while Kuki pulls Wally in for a passionate makeout…

Alright, now let's see what's happening on the pool deck… well, for one thing, the Louisville Phantoms and Milwaukee Death Eaters are chatting with each other;

"Man, I never thought I'd say this," Mandy is saying, "but I actually feel really bad about what we've done to the Thestrals!"

"Well, the both of you were going at it pretty hard-"starts Tucker.

"But I started it!" replies Mandy. "It was me who humiliated them after Week 8, remember?"

"Hey don't take ALL the blame!" snaps Grim. "You devised the plan, and I carried it out, remember?"

"Wow, well, uh, I don't know what to tell you guys," stammers Sam. "All I can say is make peace with them during the offseason, before you kill each other. Oh, and if they don't buy it, then we'll help. We happen to be friends with them, and they'll believe us." Mandy sighs and says "OK."

Danny, meanwhile, puts an arm around Sam and says, "You did a good job just then, Sammy," as he kisses her on the cheek, making her giggle. While they go at it, Billy walks up to Mandy and says, "Hey, Mandy? Listen; even if the Thestrals still hate us… I still like you." Mandy says nothing; she just pulls Billy in for a hug…

In the pool, Ash Ketchum is playing Marco Polo with Misty, May, Dawn and Iris; Ash is Marco, since he's the only boy in this bunch. Every time he calls, "Marco!" all the girls respond with "Polo!" In time, Ash begins following May's voice. Misty, Dawn hang back, safe from the chase, and eventually, Ash manages to tag May.

"Aw, you caught me, you rascal!" May teases. As a gesture, she puts her arms around Ash and starts to smother his entire face with kisses, making Ash giggle uncontrollably. Luckily, Broack and Cilan were using the restrooms during this, so they never found out…

The New Orleans Dark Mark are all just lounging quietly on the pool deck, so we'll just skip over them. Nearby is the Kyoto Kappa, who are chatting amongst themselves;

"So, have you heard from Serenity?" Tea asks Joey.

"Oh, yeah!" answers Joey. "And Kaiba, too. Apparently, both of them are having a blast in Hawaii… I kinda wish we were all still there to enjoy it together."

"Well, that's the point of a honeymoon," Tea explains. "To get away from it all, you know?"

Yugi then leans towards Tea and says, "Like I said before, we may end up like them sometime, you and me." He's rewarded by a kiss on the lips from Tea. At the same time, Mai says to Joey, "See, I told you you'd stay close with your sis – now about getting close to me?" Without hesitation, Joey snuggles up to Mai; she plants a hard kiss on his lips – before long, their tongues are brought into the equation…

And finally, also in the pool, are the Detroit Unicorns and the Tampa Bay Trolls. Everyone in these teams is lined up in a circle, playing catch, tossing a beach ball around back and forth to each other. At one point, Eddy comes up with the ball. He makes it look like he's going to throw it to Rainbow Dash, but instead, he fakes it multiple times, teasing her.

"Hey, pass the ball already!" exclaims Rainbow Dash.

"You want it?" Eddy dares her. "Come and get it!"

"Okay, you asked for it!" Rainbow Dash replies with a mean smile on her face. Slowly, but surely, she paddles up to Eddy, who's still teasing her with the ball. In time, she makes it right up to him; right at that moment, just as Eddy is about to throw the ball to someone else, Rainbow Dash suddenly reaches out and starts to lick Eddy repeatedly on the cheek. "Hey, stop it! Stop it; that tickles!" Eddy laughs uncontrollably as she continues to lick him playfully.

Everyone else on their teams can't help but chuckle, especially Edd and Nazz. Nazz then gets close to Edd, says, "You know, this kinda gets me in the mood!" and plants numerous kisses on Edd's cheek. "Nazz, you're embarrassing me!" he giggles.

…

In time, the New England Griffins all get up from the hot tub and stand up before everyone. Lois calls them to attention, and they get it. Peter then asks, "OK, so how you guys doin'?"

Everyone cheers their favor. Then Peter laughs at them, "Don't you guys wish we were Potter Bowl champions, instead of us?"

This incites an awkward silence from everyone. Lois then breaks it; "Well, we all invited you over because we wanted to celebrate the season with some of the teams-"

"And rub shit in their faces! Giggity!" Quagmire breaks in.

"Anyway," Lois breaks in, "there were a number of complicated reasons why we picked you teams, but you were the ones we went with, so, well, there you have it."

Then Brian says his piece, "Anyway, we thought that since we're the champions, that it would be fair if we let you ask us some questions about us, our team, our playing, stuff like that. A little Q&A, if you will.

Marge Simpson is the first to ask her question; "Quagmire, what is it with you and the way you look at women, you pervert?"

"I don't know," Quagmire shrugs, "but you really rubbed a ton of salt in that wound by asking, because all of the girls here are so hot, I've already shot 10 loads in my swim trunks! Giggity!"

Then Edd asks his question; "If I'm not mistaken, all of New England's major league sports franchises are based in or near Boston; but then there's you guys. Why Providence?"

"It's our home, man!" replies Peter. "We've lived here our whole lives! And sure, we root for the Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots, but like I said, this is our home!"

Beastboy then asks, "Was there anything that worried you about facing the Portland Parselmouths in the Potter Bowl?"

"The hounds!" shudders Brian. "And boy, did he release the hell out of 'em!"

"I could've taken them down good with this baby!" Stewie says as he draws his laser blaster, fires a few shots in to the air, and makes everyone gasp.

…

A few other players from all the different teams ask their questions as well, but we're going to just cut to what Mandy has to say; "Uh, actually, we've something to say to the Philadelphia Thestrals."

Everyone gasps. The Thestrals all turn and face the Death Eaters with skeptical looks on their faces. Mandy then says to them and says, "Look you guys; we're really sorry about what we put you through this season, humiliating you in that restaurant and costing you that win over the Birmingham War Pigs. (sigh) I did it not because you beat us back in Week 8, but because I wasn't willing to put our past with the "Delightful Reaper" behind me. And now that we've gotten through the first season alive, I want us to end this BS now before we kill each other. Truce?"

The Thestrals all huddle up and talk it over. There they stand, facing the Death Eaters, totally expressionless. Then they offer them their hands to shake. The Death Eaters are hasty and hesitant, but they manage to pull themselves to take their hands. At that moment, the Thestrals then pull them all in for hugs, cementing the truce between the Milwaukee Death Eaters and the Philadelphia Thestrals.

A collective "Awww!" comes from everyone looking on. Peter then says, "Alright, alright, now that the lovefest is over, how's about we get on with this PARTY!" Everyone applauds and goes about their business…

…and that's the end of this side story. However, I still have some more things to say before I wrap the season up, so don't go away just yet..!


	74. Afterword

** Hey, it's SuperBlackdeth666!**

** How about that? I've done a full season of Cartoon Quidditch! It certainly has been fun writing it, coming up with in-game action and all the absurd stuff that came with it.**

** Anyway, I think I'll finally end this by explaining some of my inspirations, motivations, etc;**

** Those of you who know me before may also be familiar with my NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, which of course, featured cartoon characters racing each other in NASCAR. That was part of my inspiration for this in a way; I was watching "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" one night. It was on the part where Gryffindor was holding Quidditch tryouts. For some reason, the Cartoon Cup Series popped into my head. Then, I took notice of the fact that Quidditch, unlike our real-life stick-and-ball team sports, is intergender. Those two epiphanies put the idea of cartoon characters on the broomsticks...**

** Once that came into play, I imagined up a bunch of teams and names for them. Then, I came up with who would play for whom, and went with it. Anyway, here's some trivia about that process;**

** The league was originally going to be called the National Cartoon Quidditch league – it would've featured just the 32 teams that were in the United States. Then, the creative bug bit me, and that led to the creation of the International Conference, along with the 12 international teams – all those teams consisted of foreign cartoons, playing in teams that are in the countries their shows were made in.**

** The locations of the teams was done in a way to "spread them out," so to speak. Most states have no more than 1 team – except for California and Florida with two each, and Texas with three.**

** And for those of you too dumb to notice, most of the teams are named after stuff from the Harry Potter universe, and other fantasy-related things.**

** Now for some trivia about the process of naming the teams;**

** The New England Griffins were originally going to be the Boston Basilisks, for the alliteration. That's when I remembered the mythical creature known as the Griffin, which is also the surname of the main characters from Family Guy. So they became the Boston Griffins; then I decided to move them down to Providence since that's where they're from.**

** The Louisville Phantoms' original working name was the Cincinnati Ghosts. And the Columbus Pixies were originally to be in Cleveland. When I remembered that "ghost and "phantom" meant the same thing, they became the Cincinnatti Phantoms, as a more direct reference to the cartoons who played for them. Then I acknowledged the presence of Louisville, Kentucky, on account of the fact that that state doesn't have a major league team in real life, so I moved the Phantoms down to Louisville, and the Pixies down to Columbus, to get them closer to Ohio's "population central."**

** Oh, and the cast from the [adult swim] cartoon Metalocalypse was originally going to play for the Milwaukee Death Eaters. At the same time, I couldn't think of anyone to play for the Birmingham War Pigs. Then I realized; Metalocalypse is about a heavy metal band, and the War Pigs were named after a heavy metal song, so I had Metalocalypse play for the War Pigs. And I had the cast from Billy and Mandy play for the Death Eaters because that name fits perfectly with the show's overall theme.**

** The Atlanta Owls and Kansas City Inferi were originally to be named the Atlanta Sorcerers and Kansas City Warlocks. Both of which mean the same as "wizards," so I decided against it. And after some thinking, I came up with Owls (what the Potterverse wizards send mail with) and Inferi (corpses that are reanimated to serve the will of the caster who reanimated them).**

** Now about the league structure – minus the International Conference, it's based on the NFL; two conferences with four divisions each, and four teams in each division.**

** The reason I had every team play on one day of the week with no byes was to make it easier to put together games, match-ups, etc. I had a 22-week season because there are 44 teams total. 44 divided by 2 equals 22; therefore, I did 22 weeks so that every team would be in the Game of the Week once.**

** The playoffs were also based on the NFL, with one major difference; in the NFL, the division champions, plus two wild cards make it into the playoffs. I disagree – I think there should be a wild card from every division, so that's what I went with.**

** Of course, that meant the International Conference only having half as many playoff teams as the others, so I had them sit out the first round.**

** About the in-game action; you wouldn't know it from the Harry Potter movies, but there are in fact fouls in Quidditch; 700 total! None of which are listed publically, except for 10 common fouls. Those are the ones that counted here; anything and everything else was fair game!**

** The reason for that was to enable my favorite part of writing a Quidditch game – powers! Whenever characters in a game had a special power or a signature weapon, they'd use them in any way that I could make work. My personal favorite part of that was the magical characters; that allowed me to bring in some Harry Potter spells, some of which I know you know!**

** And finally, there are the side stories; I did a few in the Cartoon Cup Series, and decided to do them here as well, as breaks in between the action, so to speak. And it just so happened that a friend of mine managed to seize a chunk of creative power, so to speak, by pitching his own side stories, which I happily put together... most of them, anyway!**

** So, that's pretty much it for me explaining myself about this season. I do plan on doing a 2****nd**** season - allow me to explain my plans for that;**

** The on-the-pitch action should remain pretty much the same stuff – including the nasty Bludger hits, occasional fouls, and powers and weapons whenever possible. One thing I plan to do differently – I'd like to involve the fans more, by having them say chants and cheer on their teams in general more, so to speak, like what you'd see in an actual sporting event.**

** And I do plan on making 1 or 2 team name changes, which I won't reveal until the season 2 prologue. However, the one big change that will be coming is this – EXPANSION TEAMS! I plan on adding a grand total of 10 new teams – 8 in the US, and 2 abroad. You'll know them when I get the season 2 prologue up.**

** Oh, and the International Conference will be realigned; the Euro division will be renamed the Europe division, and the Pacific division will be split into the North America and Japan divisions.**

**...**

** I guess that's it for me explaining myself. After you've commented on that, I'd also like to know;**

** What did you like most about the series?**

** Who were your favorite teams?**

** Who were your least favorite teams?**

** What was your favorite moment?**

** What was your least favorite moment?**

** What do you think is the best team name in the league?**

** What do you think is the worst team name in the league?**

** What would you have done differently?**

** And anything else you want to add!**

**...**

** Well, that does it! Here's to the 2****nd**** season of WLCQ! Until then, CHEERS!**


End file.
